A return to a peaceful spirit as my stalkers are defanged at last; also, glad to see my blog back!

Finally, my web host has finished whatever they were doing to protect us against botnet attacks, and my blog is back to normal functioning (I hope)!  But it was down for about a week, a long, frustrating week as my blog would go up and down, up and down.  I often had to turn off the redirect sending readers here from my old blog.  During uptimes, I installed better security and made adjustments, since you can’t rely on your host to protect you completely, especially on a free server.  I see from my security files that just in the last 24 hours, some bot from the Ukraine continuously tried to get into my blog’s dashboard for malicious purposes.  Apparently it would try, Wordfence would block it for a short time, then it would come back and try again.  But because of my security fixes, it could not come in.  :D  And now, because of Wordfence, I’ve blocked it permanently from trying again.

I have seen my stalkers trying to get in as well.  They are aware of this new blog, and have done searches for it which led them to my old blog, but not the new one.  I’ve seen them go to my old blog, but because the redirect for mobile phones was turned on, they got redirected here–and couldn’t get in.  I saw them try six times one evening to get in, when the mobile redirect was on, but they failed!  All they can ever see is the old blog, which is rarely updated now.  Now that my blog is back up and more stable again, the mobile redirect is back up, so they can’t get to the old or new blogs at all.  When the redirect is up, the only trace I can see of them is in Blogger’s stat page, when an Android browser is accompanied by a search term which I can recognize as theirs; they do not show up in any other trackers, because they are blocked.  I haven’t seen them back in a little more than a week, when they had a long-established routine of checking in at least once a week, often twice or more, and several times a day when they discovered me trying to block them on my old blog a couple of months ago. Strange how they won’t say a word to me otherwise, but will express their displeasure with me through their unwanted blog hits….. Must be because they know I’ve been to the police about them already because of the e-mail they sent me, so they know I’m capable of doing so again.

This has been extremely helpful in restoring my broken spirit.  For almost a year I have feared what they may be planning next: Will I get served with a lawsuit for telling the truth?  Will they send me another nasty message, threaten me, or assault me as Richard had once almost done to the person who evicted them?  Will they come to my church again on purpose to upset me and rub my nose in their lack of remorse for hurting and abusing me?

But none of this has happened.  No lawsuit.  No more nasty messages.  No assaults.  I haven’t even seen them at church since last August.  Their presence on my blog has been a constant irritant, but now I have successfully blocked them.

They are beginning to disappear from my life, even on the edges (ie, checking my blog), since I switched to WordPress.org and blocked them.  They are also beginning to disappear from my thoughts.  Not completely, but it is a huge step forward.  There is still the risk of seeing them more often eventually at church, if one of our parishes fails financially and our separate congregations begin blending.  I dearly hope that does not happen.  But for now, our two parishes remain open, and they are not directly in my life (just occasionally seen on the street).  My spirit is moving toward peace, toward calm.  I am working to accept that Richard was never the friend or the person he claimed to be, or he would never have let things get this way, that he must have been conning and using me.

I have become the webmaster for my church, and that has predominated my thoughts (and time) lately as I struggle to understand the content management system it uses.  My son just bought a couple of adorable spice finches who are very attached to each other.  Life is slowly but surely moving on.

My story of narcissistic abuse is here and here. My college memoirs (incl. stories of Peter, Shawn and Phil) are here. My other writings are here.

More from my site

  • March 28, 2014 Why we should tell everyone we have been abused–Tracy’s Reign of Terror: True Story of Narcissism, Bullying, Domestic Violence and Child Abuse, Part 62 Tracy's Reign of Terror: True Story of Narcissism, Bullying, Domestic Violence and Child Abuse Part 62: Why we should tell everyone we have been abused Especially after Tracy told me not to "go crying to Jeff," it was a relief to finally reveal to all my friends, using Facebook, that I had be...
  • May 12, 2012 Hm. The abusers found my blog. I can tell from the city and referring URL (which I can track through Google Webmasters Analytics and Blogspot's trackers), that it was them, that they [Richard and Tracy] are now proceeding to go through everything I've written here and on my website. This is always a risk when you blog about...
  • March 21, 2013 Maybe this time the stalkers will stay away? So the new blog has been up for several days now.  The old one is set up with an automatic redirect so my traffic transfers over here.  So there we have one point for me, because I don't "lose" after all by "cutting and running" from the old Blogger blog to get away from my stalkers.  The redirec...
  • June 27, 2013 Finally healing from the narcissistic abuse and toxic friendship I can feel the healing at last.  It's not as if the pain and hurt are all gone, never to return.  I do still feel pangs from time to time, when something reminds me of happier days of friendship with Richard (and there are a lot of reminders).  But several major things have happened to bring this...
  • December 21, 2011 Fighting the Darkness: Mutual Friends with the Abusers [This is an outpouring of grief and anger I felt shortly after discovering that my former best friend was convicted of choking his child, and in the process of recovery from severe psychological trauma inflicted on me by this person and his wife.  The grief and anger were so difficult to contain ...
  • June 3, 2013 I sense another wave of narcissistic attack coming my way….. My stalkers have been blocked from my blog since late March, when I moved it to self-hosted WordPress.  I could see them going to the old blog often, until my plugins were fixed so that all visitors are redirected here--where my stalkers' IPs are blocked.  I've seen no sign of them here, or tryin...