Articles from March 2012

Left Behind Review: Remnant, Part 2

Part 1

On pages 310 to 312, we find, once again, a rip on churches that are not the kind the authors like.  We read the testimony of Lionel Whalum, a black believer who wasn’t into church as a kid like his “emotional and showy” mama and aunties; when he got married, he and his wife only occasionally went to church, a

higher sort, if you know what I mean. Very proper, subdued, not demonstrative.  If my people had visited that church, they would have said it was dead and that Jesus wouldn’t even go there.  I would have said it was sophisticated and proper.

Gag!  This reminds me of the “Jesus Camp” documentary, with the little brainwashed girl saying that God doesn’t like churches where people just sit there and don’t do/say anything.

And of course, Lionel’s church “fit our lifestyle” (which, oddly enough, is how people often describe those “relevant” churches these days, where people–in the suburbs–dress in shorts).  Lionel and his wife could dress the same way they did for work or socializing!  (I’m not sure why this is considered so wonderful or convenient, since most churches are the same.)

We saw people we knew and cared about.  And we definitely were never hollered at or insulted from the pulpit.  Nobody called us sinners or hinted that we might need to get something right in our lives.

I’m not sure what churches actually avoid any kind of preaching about sin.  I’ve been in many different kinds of churches–Nazarene, Pentecostal, Catholic, Lutheran, Presbyterian (USA), Orthodox, UCC, Anglican–and I don’t recall there ever being a hint that we’re all fine just the way we are and nobody needs to learn how to treat others in love.

But here, and in the following passages in which Lionel’s kids end up in the kind of church he grew up in, then start begging and pleading with him to get saved (since, apparently, he’s not saved because he goes to the “wrong” church), we get a very strong message that the “right” church is a Pentecostal church, “emotional and showy,” with pastors “hollering” at you from the pulpit.  Every other kind will send you to Hell…..

Um, really?

Oh, yes, and then there’s the Bible study, with the leader laying out how to become a born-again Christian and trying to get Lionel and his wife “saved,” even though they’re already churchgoers.  Because, you see, they’re not in the “right” church, and they don’t have the “right” teachings about how to be saved.

On pages 314-16, we have such examples of stilted language as someone in the crowd calling to Chaim, “If the leader will not beseech us to stay, why should we stay?”  Who talks like that anymore?

And, yet again, as with the manna and various other things, we find the Old Testament Exodus being brought into the End Times without any biblical justification, as the ground opens up and swallows people who argued with Chaim and Tsion.  But this is no longer part of the order of things since Christ came!

Then a false prophet begins performing wondrous miracles for the people who come to his show near Petra.  He makes the weather hot or cold by moving clouds in front of the sun, makes the mike stand into a snake, causes a spring to gush out, imitates the feeding of the 5000, even strikes people dead and raises them again.

Tsion says, “That man was not even human.  Surely he was a demonic apparition.”

But can a demon have this kind of power?  From what I see in this article by Archbishop Lazar Puhalo, I see nothing about demons being able to do things like this.  They can delude and influence, yes, but move clouds and imitate the feeding of the 5000?  This is giving demons too much power, when we should be learning to not be afraid of demons!

On page 343, we read about a believer, Luis, who, at the time of the Rapture,

had had enough exposure to campus ministry groups that when he returned to Argentina and suffered through the disappearances, he knew exactly what had happened.

He and some friends from childhood raced to their little Catholic church, where hardly anyone was left.  Their favorite priest and catechism teacher were gone too.

But from literature they found in the library, they learned how to trust Christ personally.  Soon they were the nucleus of the new body of believers in that area.

Yet another slam on the Catholics!  You’ll note that even though Luis was Catholic, and had been through catechism training, he did not know about the “truth” of the Rapture except through campus ministry groups (presumably Protestant) he was exposed to in high school and college in the US.

Because, after all, the Catholic church does not teach the “truth” of the Rapture because it’s just wrong.

And you’ll also note that most of the people in that church back home had been Raptured–but probably because of the “literature” in the library about “how to trust Christ personally.”

So sure most of the Catholics in this church were Raptured, but only because they found this literature in their library, not because of Catholicism.  Luis went to the same church, even went through catechism training, but apparently nobody told him “how to trust Christ personally,” so he was not Raptured.

On page 351 is some humor, funny but not in the way it was intended. Mac sees a man by the river, which is full of blood as is all water at this point.  Abdullah, who is not a native English speaker, says, “I don’t see him, Mac.  Maybe this is one of your cowboy marriages.”

He meant “mirages,” but I couldn’t help thinking of Brokeback Mountain: You could call that a kind of “cowboy marriage.”

Turns out the man is an angel; when Mac comes back, Abdullah says, “So what was it, pod’ner? A marriage?”  Considering the angel is a guy–It is Brokeback Mountain!

On page 371, Buck says to Chloe, “How bad is it with Leah and Hannah?  I don’t know either of them that well, but Leah would get on anybody’s nerves.  She still pining for Tsion?”

I’m not sure why they keep picking on Leah about Tsion.  I’ve seen nothing at all demonstrated to explain why they do.

All I’ve seen are some snarky remarks about her “stalking” Tsion or wanting to go to Petra to be with him, but no indication that she’s actually doing anything that would qualify as “stalking,” not even in the modern broad usage of the term (which seems to include everything anybody does who cares even an iota about some other person in any way other than behaving like an unfeeling robot).

Not even anything about how much she likes him–no mention of pictures on her wall, or obsessive chatter, or anything at all to suggest she likes him any more than anybody else does.  Just a few snarky comments.

And what was wrong with her wanting to go to Petra?  It just makes no sense at all, and for the reader to take these snarks seriously, we need a lot more to go on than this. Otherwise, it just looks like people picking on her for no reason, accusing her unjustly.

And as for her getting on people’s nerves–Sure, now that Hattie is gone, let’s pick on Leah!

I’m not even sure how she gets on people’s nerves.  It seems to me more like, she only gets on their nerves because they’re hypersensitive, and that it’s usually Rayford the chauvinist who has trouble with her.

On page 393, more people and animals, and even plants and fish, die because of heat so intense that it burns people to death.  There’s just so much carnage in these books that it’s hard to stand, and not only do “sinners” die, but so does everything else.

On page 400, we read that the temperature has gone back to normal–no more blazing hot sun burning people and things to ashes–but now there is a plague of darkness.  The sun, moon, stars, electric lights, flashlights, emergency signs–everything that emits some sort of light, is now dark.  At all hours of the day or night, it is impossible to see anything.

People screamed in terror, finding this the worst nightmare of their lives–and they had many to choose from.  They were blind–completely, utterly, totally, wholly unable to see anything but blackness twenty-four hours a day.

We read how desperately people begin trying to find or make light of any kind:

Find a candle!  Rub two sticks together!  Shuffle on the carpet and create static electricity.  Do anything.  Anything!  Something to allow some vestige of a shadow, a hint, a sliver.  All to no avail.

As if this weren’t bad enough, “Chang wanted to laugh.”

Wait–What?

He wanted to howl from his gut.  He wished he could tell everyone everywhere that once again God had meted out a curse, a judgment upon the earth that affected only those who bore the mark of the beast.

Chang could see.  It was different.  He didn’t see lights either.  He simply saw everything in sepia tone, as if someone had turned down the wattage on a chandelier.

Why, thank you for your Christian compassion on the suffering, Chang.

Because the annoyance does turn into physical suffering.  As we read on, we find that the extended darkness does not keep people from getting food and drink, but they can’t work, or talk about anything but the darkness.  And then they begin feeling pain: itches, aches, until:

For many the pain grew so intense that all they could do was bend down and feel the ground to make sure there was no hole or stairwell to fall into and then collapse in a heap, writhing, scratching, seeking relief.

The longer it went, the worse it got, and now people swore and cursed God and chewed their tongues.  They crawled about the corridors, looking for weapons, pleading with friends or even strangers to kill them.  Many killed themselves.

The entire complex became an asylum of screams and moans and guttural wails, as these people became convinced that this, finally, was it–the end of the world.

But no such luck.  Unless they had the wherewithal, the guts, to do themselves in, they merely suffered.  Worse by the hour.  Increasingly bad by the day.

This went on and on and on.  And in the middle of it, Chang came up with the most brilliant idea of his life.  If ever there was a perfect time for him to escape, it was now.

Again–Wait–What?

Chang is surrounded by all these suffering people, and instead of having an ounce of compassion, or wanting to help them in their suffering, he thinks only of his own skin?

Like a sociopath he laughs at their pain, and just thinks how the believers being able to see, while everyone else is blind, means he and his friends can get him out of there without obstruction?

He cares nothing for the people who are so miserable they’re committing suicide?  He can’t even try to comfort them or tell them that Christ can take them out of their misery?

On page 403, we read Chang’s thoughts about what a wonderful break this is for the believers:

Now, for as long as God tarried, for as long as he saw fit to keep the shades pulled down and the lights off, everything was in the believers’ favor.  “God,” Chang said, “just give me a couple more days of this.”

Is this the Christianity we’re supposed to emulate?  Is this the Christianity that would inspire unbelievers to believe?  “God, please keep everybody around me so miserable they’re chewing their tongues and trying to kill themselves, so I can save my own skin”?

Is this the ultimate result of Calvinism: Christians good, unbelievers so worthless they deserve everything they get?

[2/13/12-3/12/12]

Fighting the Darkness: Fear of Death

As I noted and explained in my original “Fighting the Darkness” post, this whole ordeal has put my faith into a terrible period of testing and doubt.

I had seen so many signs that God wanted me to be friends with Richard, that God had brought us together so Richard could lead me into Orthodoxy and I could help his family.

But as I’ve already noted, I discovered that apparently God had brought me into friendship with a dangerous, violent narcissist and his malignant narcissist/borderline personality disordered wife.

I start thinking, “What if it’s all a lie and all religion is false and everyone who dies goes into nothingness, goes into darkness, vanishes forever?”  I don’t want to vanish forever.  I want my consciousness to live on.

Atheists don’t seem to realize that their message of “no Hell, no Heaven, this is all we get” is not the message of happiness and freedom they think it is.  They don’t seem to understand why more people don’t pound down their door wanting this.

Even John Lennon didn’t get it, writing those lines in “Imagine”–imagine there’s no Heaven above us, no Hell below us–as if it would somehow free the human race from its woes.

On the contrary, such a message brings horror and fear of death to most.  We want to leave this place and go to a better one, with no sickness or woe, where justice is meted out for the people who hurt others without regret and without punishment.

Where a poor little child whose last moments were of terror, molestation and murder, finds herself in a land of bliss, warmth, love and comfort.

Where we will once again see the smile of that long-lost mother, son, husband, friend, and not have them lost to us forever.

I want to live; I want to see what happens after I leave this earth.  I don’t want to lose myself forever.  I don’t want my consciousness to vanish into nothingness.  I don’t want to fall asleep and never wake up, in a place where even dreams cease.

I don’t want my dreams and the stories I played out in my childhood, to be lost forever.

This morning I had another dream of death, of terror at the thought of going into darkness forever.  I have these now and then.  One vivid dream took place at a cemetery during a funeral.

I am comforted by the teaching of classical churches that this is not a sin, that it doesn’t mean I lose my salvation, that it’s not even a sign of weakness.

On the contrary, I was told it’s a sign of a mature faith, as long as you keep in the church, keep doing the things you’re supposed to do.

Mother Theresa went through this for most of her life, as has been documented.  Other saints of the church have, as well.

I was even told that many priests have moments of wondering as they go through the service, “Is this all for nothing?”  In fact, it has a name: The Long Dark Night of the Soul.

But there are churches which would drive you further into spiritual despair by telling you that you’re gravely sinning by questioning, by doubting.  It’s yet another reason to run from those churches and into the arms of Orthodoxy.

 

Fighting the Darkness: Can I Trust Social Services and the Courts?

On March 21, 2012, I saw a photo published by the local newspaper of a local political event held the day before.

In this photo were two of Richard and Tracy’s kids: the 3rd child and the oldest, the one who had been choked.  The poor girl, the oldest is wearing a sling.

In the photos, I saw no evidence of the other two kids, or of Richard.  I thought I saw Tracy in one photo, but the picture was not close enough to be sure, and others showed only the back of the person who might be her.

I knew from ads for this event, run in the newspaper a few days before, that if the kids were there, Tracy would be there, but Richard would not because you had to be a member of that party, and they’re of two different parties.

Tracy and Richard are both very active in local politics, so they and/or their kids show up in the local newspaper’s photos from time to time.

Heck, I even saw a picture of the eldest child, in the middle of 2011, on the front page of the “Life” section of the Sunday paper; she was holding a tuba or some other kind of instrument, to demonstrate a local program that helps poor kids get musical instruments.

Another evening in 2011, I read on the newspaper website about an accident that had just happened on Johnson St., and could swear that was Tracy as a witness standing around in one of the photos.  (Unfortunately, the story and its photos were soon removed for some reason, so I didn’t have a chance to confirm it with Jeff.)

Then right after the state primary in 2012, the local paper posted a picture on its Facebook wall (people waiting for election returns) with one person who looked (from the back) like she was probably Tracy; because I “liked” the newspaper, that photo showed up in my news feed.

So as much as I might want to just block Richard and Tracy from my mind and never think of them again, I still see pictures of them in the paper, still see them occasionally at church, was face-to-face with Richard for a moment at Greekfest in 2011, and Jeff sees them (and gives them the cold shoulder) at the grocery store now and then.

And now that our city has changed around polling places, there’s a good chance we’ll run into them while voting one of these days.

So unfortunately, it’s impossible to just forget about them, at least until I hear that they’ve moved to some other city or even some other state.

Considering how often they moved around from city to city and state to state just in the four years they’d been married before they moved here, and that they’ve moved three times just since they moved out of our house 4 years ago, it is indeed possible that they’ll move away at some point after Richard gets off probation.

I can only hope so, unless they find it in their hearts to stop being jerks who have to have their way or no way, act like adults who want to actually resolve the issue instead of like children throwing tantrums and yelling and cussing, and come to us with apologies and repentance.

So it is good to see that, at least, Richard was not being left alone with all four children.

Since he only had two kids with him when he came to my church shortly after he was put on probation, there’s probably some rule about this, but for some reason, it’s not on the state’s court records website.

(Other cases on the website have notes about terms of probation, so I’m not sure why his does not.  All I can do is guess, which means I also can’t help the probation officer by reporting Richard if I see him violate the terms.)

But it’s discouraging to see that they apparently still have custody of the eldest.  Is that even safe?  Can I trust Social Services and the courts to do their jobs keeping her safe?

I’ve already done all I could possibly do for those children by reporting everything I knew and had witnessed, to Social Services.

I’ve already done all I could possibly do to help keep Richard from killing Tracy one of these days if she ever hit him in the face, because I also mentioned their own spousal domestic violence, emotional and physical, in hopes that Social Services would help with that as well.

But unfortunately, I don’t feel like I can confidently just let it go and trust that Social Services and the courts will keep those kids safe, or that the domestic violence will cease.

I read the paper every day, and far too many kids, just in our county, slip through the cracks; far too many kids die, or almost die, at the hands of a parent who was already in the system.

Far too many times, I look up somebody on the court records website who’s been in the newspaper for strangling a girlfriend or abusing kids, and find a long rap sheet of child abuse or domestic violence cases.

Currently there’s a case going on in the state capitol of a teenage girl who had been kept in the basement for years, starved and tortured.

CPS had been called many times, her brother was on probation for molesting her, he lived in the house with her, and probation officers visited their house.

Yet she still had been kept in the basement for years, forced to eat her own feces and garbage, until she finally escaped.  The probation officers didn’t even know she was down there!

I wish I could put more faith in the system, but I just can’t.  So I continue to worry about Richard and Tracy’s children, and continue to wonder if one day I’ll hear that Richard has beaten Tracy to death or Tracy has poisoned him (as she often “playfully” threatens to do) or some other horrible thing has happened.

I thought for sure that the natural father of the eldest would petition for full or primary custody, because by law he’s supposed to be kept apprised of things like, the stepfather nearly killing his daughter, or reports to CPS.  Yet there she was, with Tracy.

Richard nearly killed this girl–how can she still be living with him?  This was no spanking too hard, or forgetting to buckle a car seat–he deliberately choked her, nearly killed her!  Why is she still living in his house?  Who made this decision, and how?

And Social Services knows about Tracy’s temper as well, that she smacked a tiny 3-year-old in the back of the head (that 3rd child who was also in the photo), yet there she is with Tracy.

[Smacking a child that small is especially dangerous for the developing brain, basically giving the brain whiplash.]

I’d love to be able to stop worrying about them, to believe that Social Services and the courts will take good care of those kids.  But I can’t.

I keep second-guessing myself about whether or not we should’ve gone through that “conference” Tracy wanted to have.  After all, you’ll read on the Net how you should listen to other people’s concerns, etc. etc.

But Jeff tells me to stop doing that second-guessing, especially after we just had to sit through a conference with our son’s principal over attendance records.  (Apparently our idea of “too sick to go to school” differs from their idea, even though we were following the guidelines in the school handbook.)

Jeff said that conference with the principal demonstrated what it’s like to be confronted by someone who is sure they are in the right and wants to intimidate you and cower you into submission.

He says that it was a walk in the park compared to what Tracy would have done to me, that at least we got a few concessions from the principal and nurse that the handbook needed to be more clearly written.

We certainly wouldn’t have gotten that from Tracy, and as proof, there was her response when Jeff tried to tell her that the rules she wanted me to follow were vague and constantly changing, that there was a lot of doublespeak from Richard (and, though he didn’t mention it, double standards from Tracy and Richard both): “Oh, baloney….A 5-year-old could understand.”

Tracy wouldn’t even meet us halfway, never would meet us halfway, and always insisted on her way or no way, that my opinions and feelings mattered not a bit and made no difference whatsoever.

That’s called steamrolling, and I was sick and tired of her steamrolling me all the time.

She doesn’t know the meaning of compromise; in fact, she belongs to a political party which treats “compromise” as a vice.

When I said I wanted a six-month break, an amicable one, so we could come at things later after we’d cooled down, her response was, “Have a nice life.”

Run, RUN far away from people like this who will not compromise, will not meet you halfway, who insist on their way or no way!

It’s been nearly 6 months since Richard’s probation began, which means that he can now ask to have his probation terminated early, if his probation officer agrees.

If he’s let off, or if he’s not, I hope the court reporter notes why; I’ve seen other cases on the court records website with far more information in the notes than this one has.  I’d love to be reassured

  1. that the probation officer has that girl’s best interests at heart and isn’t being charmed by Richard, and
  2. that Richard is putting an honest effort into changing and eradicating his violent tendencies.

Then, at least, I could relax a little.

Oh, if only I could take those girls to me and press them to my heart and keep them safe.  If only I could stop all the abuse in the world.  A friend tells me I should be a foster parent and/or help with domestic violence, that I have the passion about it to do a lot of good.

Left Behind Review: Remnant, Part 1

Remnant by Tim LaHaye & Jerry Jenkins, Tyndale House Publishers, ISBN 1414334990, available practically anywhere Christian books are sold:

A plot summary is here.

This book picks up the pace, and even gets exciting for a while, as (during the Greece adventures described on Wikipedia) part of the Tribulation Force tries to rescue George Sebastian.  Ming Toy also finds a Boy Toy–er, boyfriend–while trying to get to China.  Steve Plank dies heroically, proclaiming to all that he is a believer, surprising and dismaying his co-workers, before deciding to go to the guillotine. And there are moments of humor between Albie, Mac and Abdullah, who apparently are the comic relief.

If only all the books had been like this, instead of waiting until Book TEN.

But the usual issues still come up quite a bit, such as the unrealistic language. Why would Chloe, herself only in her 20s, use “son” when addressing a man of her own age?  While the author did note the oddness of this, he did not give a reason for it.

On pages 121-124, I find it amazing that Tsion is so afraid of being considered a “wayward” brother, so afraid of giving the wrong message, knowing that it will “jar the sensibilities of many hearers,” that he asks Rayford for advice on whether or not his next planned sermon is correct–because he is going to speak on God’s mercy!

He has no trouble speaking of God’s wrath and judgment, but must ask for counsel and support from his Christian brothers before speaking of God’s mercy?  Or maybe it’s not so amazing, in the Calvinistic world of Left Behind.

On page 155, Mac has just used a 50-caliber rifle to shoot a car outside a cabin being used by GC Peacekeepers, the group which had been holding George.  He hit the gas tank, making it blow up.  This would cover him while he made a break for a hidden Jeep.

But did he have to wish “only that he could have heard what had to be the frightened cries of the young Peacekeepers on the dead run”?  This is not some video game, but people with eternal souls he’s dealing with here.  Having to frighten, shoot or otherwise deal with them should be inspiring sad necessity, not jubilation in their cries.

On page 203, as a Christian refuses to take the mark and begins singing while waiting for the guillotine, a guard tries to jab and stab her with a bayonet to get her to stop, but she keeps going.  Carpathia rages,

Tell the guards to stop making a spectacle of it!  They are playing right into these people’s hands.  Let the crowd see that no matter what they do or say or sing, still their heads belong to us!

Yeah, Judah-ites, remember that all your base are belong to us!

On page 228, Tsion is preaching again, to the believers assembled at Petra (their story is explained in the Wikipedia article).  He says that in John 14, Jesus “makes a promise we can take to the bank of eternity.”  Oh geez, not Evangelical sermon witticisms for hipster preaching.  😛

Then the authors make a little jab at the idea that the Bible has historical and scientific errors, as Tsion says,

From Eden until this present moment, God has given us in the Bible an accurate history of the world, much of it written in advance.  It is the only truly accurate history ever written.

The only?  What a rip on the many historians throughout history who have tried to gather all the facts together!–especially since scientists and historians often find things which, if the Bible is taken strictly literally, don’t match up.

Then he says,

Next comes the worldwide flood.  This flood had a catastrophic effect on the world and still boggles the minds of scientists who find fish bones at altitudes as high as fifteen thousand feet.

The trouble with insisting that everything in the Bible be taken literally–and some churches actually make Creationism a necessary tenet for members to believe–is that your faith could shatter if scientists are able to prove without a shadow of a doubt that evolution happened and the Earth is not so young.  Even the ancient Catholic church does not require a belief in Creationism!

I’m not going to bother going to Creationist or religious sites to back up Tsion’s claims about the fish bones.  I did find an interesting forum thread here.  It’s a debate on whether there’s evidence of extensive flooding at the end of the last Ice Age, while all those glaciers were melting, possibly causing many extinctions.

It’s one theory, though you’ll note that it’s not proven or necessarily accepted, which contradicts the claims of Tsion.

Unless Noah’s Ark is actually found, there is no evidence of the story being literally true, of one big flood covering the earth all at the same time.

But flooding is a common, natural phenomenon which is experienced all over the world, and melting glaciers could certainly cause a lot of it as the worldwide climate warmed.  Just imagine how much spring flooding is caused after a winter of heavy snowfall.

The thread also cites a BBC article about an Indian city that’s 9500 years old!  That’s only 1500 years more recent than the end of the last Ice Age, and the extensive glacial flooding may have extended over 7000 years.

If human civilization is truly far older than the Creationists claim, then racial memories of extensive flooding at the end of the Ice Age could easily have inspired the story of Noah’s Ark (and various other flood stories around the world.)  But a worldwide flood that happened all at once and killed all land-life except for those on one boat, has not been proven.

Flooding typically causes loss of life.  It’s easy for all that flooding–though naturally caused–to be seen by the Ice Age peoples as worldwide and divine retribution.  So there is no need to expect every detail of the biblical account to be completely accurate for it to be True.

Tsion’s cited evidence may indeed exist, but does not prove an all-at-once worldwide flood.  My faith can withstand the lack of evidence of such a flood, so I have no need to try to hammer all sorts of evidence–whether real or discredited–until it fits exactly the literal biblical account, in fear that if the account is not completely accurate, Christianity will be disproven and when I die I’ll go to nothingness.

On page 229, Tsion goes on to say that after Christ returns, stops the Tribulation/Armageddon, and imposes 1000 years of peace on Earth, “the population will grow to greater than the number of all the people who have already lived and died up to now” because of no war.

I suppose that also includes no disease or accidents, though he didn’t mention that.  But then he says “We will have plenty.”  How can that be if the earth is overpopulated?  Is he expecting a constant stream of people going to visit Christ every day and get him to do that loaves and fishes thing over and over again?

On pages 230-233, Tsion attempts to reconcile the wrath of the Tribulation God with a loving God.  But we’re dealing with a Calvinistic version of God which uses punishment to get people to turn to him.  Would you want to love a person who was killing thousands of people and animals and causing all sorts of devastation?

It makes far more sense to look at things in a more Orthodox fashion: Revelations was disputed before it was put into the canon, and is not read during Liturgies. God’s wrath is an anthropomorphic expression, used so people without extensive intellectual understanding of theology could understand.  God is not ruled by human passions.  “Wrath” is the consequences of our sins.  Revelations is what happens when Satan is allowed to rule over the earth for a time.  And the various bowl judgments are metaphorical.

But no, this isn’t how Tsion tries to explain that the vengeful god killing off all these people, is somehow loving.  I say “tries” because it falls short.  There’s more about God’s wrath on page 290, in which an angel says, “God is jealous, and the Lord will have his revenge.  He will take vengeance on his adversaries, and he reserves his wrath for his enemies.”  But Alexandre Kalomiros writes in “The River of Fire”:

God is good, loving, and kind toward those who disregard, disobey, and ignore Him.  He never returns evil for evil, He never takes vengeance.

His punishments are loving means of correction, as long as anything can be corrected and healed in this life.  They never extend to eternity.

He created everything good.  The wild beasts recognize as their master the Christian who through humility has gained the likeness of God. They draw near to him, not with fear, but with joy, in grateful and loving submission; they wag their heads and lick his hands and serve him with gratitude.

The irrational beasts know that their Master and God is not evil and wicked and vengeful, but rather full of love. (See also St. Isaac of Syria, SWZOMENA ASKHTIKA [Athens, 1871], pp. 95-96.) He protected and saved us when we fell.

The eternally evil has nothing to do with God. It comes rather from the will of His free, logical creatures, and this will He respects.

A fuller explanation of the Calvinistic god of wrath vs. the Orthodox God of love is here.)

On page 277, we read that the believers camping out at Petra, who basically have their own Moses (Chaim) and are being treated like modern versions of the Israelites in the wilderness, are also eating manna.

I don’t know where all this modern-Exodus stuff is coming from, because I sure never heard of it in the End-of-the-World prophecies.

We read that manna doesn’t need to be preserved during the day, but spoils overnight. But the next day, there’s more, “so saving it was considered a lack of faith, and forbidden.”  Forbidden?  Forbidden just because of a lack of faith?  And what is the punishment for anyone who does save it?

On page 290, I can’t help but cringe as angels try to convert a group of Muslims.  This group refused to take the Mark, and they are fervent believers in God, but because their beliefs aren’t the “correct” ones, the angels are trying to convert them so they won’t just automatically go to Hell now that the GC has found them and will be sending them to the guillotines.

One, Christopher, says to the Muslims on page 289, “We come not to discuss religion, but to preach Christ and him crucified, dead, buried, and resurrected after three days, now sitting at the right hand of God the Father.”  Um, that is discussing religion!

On page 294, Christopher says, “Resist the temptation to choose the guillotine without choosing Christ the Messiah.  You will die in vain.”

Some had been converted, but one shouts, “We will die for Allah!” and the others raise “fists of defiance.”

So–Even though they refuse to take the Mark and are doing it for the sake of God, as they have always understood Him, they’ll still be condemned as if they had taken the Mark and allied with Satan?  This makes no sense, and is unjust!

To be continued…..

 

Triggers

I still deal with triggers all the time.  These triggers bring me straight back to the narcissistic rage and tirade of Tracy on 7/1/10.

When I’m learning the Greek phrase for “I don’t understand” on my language learning software, it’s hard to type the words because I begin hearing, “You’re too stupid to understand!”

When someone says “F–k off” to some other person, that’s a trigger to Tracy telling me to f–k off, which I did not deserve.  Which was she herself being a b**ch and not bothering to find out the truth before raging, and not bothering to even try to be diplomatic to the person who had gotten her out of financial and other jams time and time again.

“Oh baloney” because when my husband stuck up for me and said that Richard had kept saying different things all the time and it was very confusing to me, she said, “Oh baloney.”

“So be it” because that was her response to taking a break, followed by “Have a nice life,” rather than, “Oh, what a good idea.”

“99%” because she and Richard both claimed that 99% of people would react even worse than she did, that she was somehow going “easy” on me.

Cthulhu references bring it back because Richard had this online Cthulhu persona for games.

“Harsh words” because Richard minimized Tracy’s foul, outrageous, filthy, abusive words to me as “some harsh words.”

It was horrible, horrible, and such innocuous words and phrases bring it all back again when I’m trying to move past the pain of being ripped to shreds for no reason, with no justification, and of my own best, closest, most trusted friend, stabbing me in the back.

It wasn’t physical violence, but it was psychologically, emotionally and verbally just as violent as any beating.

The gaslighting, control and psychological bullying come back again because of so many triggers.  I don’t know how the heck to disable these triggers.

They also make me very angry because I wouldn’t have these triggers if Tracy had acted like a decent human being instead of an out-of-control witch, if Richard had acted like a true friend instead of a fake, cover-your-own-butt friend.  Yet people don’t understand why it’s so nervewracking to see them show up at church or some other place.

The worst part is knowing they probably think they have the moral high ground.  I certainly sensed it reading Tracy’s messages to me.  It just makes you want to scream at them,

NO!  YOU DO NOT HAVE THE MORAL HIGH GROUND!  ABUSE IS WRONG!  I DID NOT DESERVE ANY OF THIS!  WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO ME IS WRONG!  HOW YOU TREATED ME IS WRONG!

I mean, how can they have the moral high ground?  Not only did they bully me, but Richard now has a criminal record in this state for abusing one of the kids.

But of course, try to say any of this to an abuser, and you won’t get what you wanted.  Just more abuse, probably.

By the way, you can tell how badly this has affected my psyche by the use of profanity (even blocked out) in these blog posts.  Profanity is so highly uncharacteristic of me that I can only bring myself to post it blocked-out.  But all the crap I’m dealing with is so soul-crushing that euphemisms just don’t cut it.

%d bloggers like this: