Verbal Abuse

I’ve noticed quite a bit of hits from keywords referring to abuse.  This is, unfortunately, a common problem, and people need to find help.

There are also many hits from keywords referring to narcissistic or borderline personality disorders, disorders which often lead to abusive behaviors.

So I will make a series of posts from my webpage on abuse, which gathers together links I have found most helpful.  I have them arranged by category. 

The first part is on the general topic of abuse.  The last section of the webpage, my own personal abuse stories, has already been posted here.

From my page Abuse in all its forms: My Thoughts, Quotes and Links to help:

Verbal Abuse

Verbal Abuse Checklist

What is Verbal Abuse?

Dr. Irene’s Verbal Abuse Site

Verbal/Emotional Abuse

The Verbal Abuse Site

Identify & Respond to Verbal Abuse

10 Myths About Verbal Abuse

How to React to Verbal Abuse

Getting Verbal Abuse Out of My Life (personal blog)

Verbal Abuse: Wikipedia

Verbal Abuse Healing

Verbal Abuse FAQ

Controlling Abuse

Verbal Abuse

Verbal Abuse in Relationships

Invisible Scars: Verbal Abuse

Women as Verbal Abusers

There are harsh tones, there’s yelling, and one little girl (correctly) pointed out that there is a difference between yelling and screaming. Which do you think is worse? Why? See what I mean?–You do know the intricacies of body language.

….If you think about it, yelling has got to be one of the most self-defeating behaviors ever tried. Check out this scene: He yells. Now she’s mad, so she yells. Well, he is really mad, so now he really yells. Where, oh where is this going? No where. Of course. –DrDeb, Yelling does NOT get what you want

 

You may be asking, why does this person treat me this way.  Patricia Evans describes in her books that as a result of a traumatic experience the person does not develop emotionally into what we see as normal….

A person that has truly been born again and filled with the Holy Spirit cannot deliver anger to another….

Emotions, in this case anger, are not something that just happens.  We are accountable for our emotions.  Anger is a choice.  We can choose to be angry or choose understanding and love.

Without understanding that we are fully responsible for our actions to each other, that our emotions are not a result of our past, we cannot step out of the chains that bind us.

We cannot blame the things of our past for our current behavior, or use the things from our past as a crutch to justify inappropriate behavior.  —Verbal Abuse Healing, Denise Zink  (Also see this page for tips on standing up for yourself against verbal abuse.  For example, say “Stop” and nothing else.)

 

ONCE AGAIN: IF YOU FEEL SCARED OF YOUR SPOUSE/FRIEND/FAMILY MEMBER, SOMETHING IS WRONG.  YOU SHOULD NOT FEEL YOU MUST LIE FOR THEM, OR DO ANYTHING UNDERHANDED OR MANIPULATIVE OR ILLEGAL.  YOU SHOULD NOT FEAR THEIR TEMPER.

The Topic of Abuse (General)

Abuse Specifically Against Husbands/Boyfriends 

Borderline Personality Disorder 

Bullying 

Child Abuse

Domestic Abuse (anyone who lives together or is in a romantic relationship, including roommates or family members)

Emotional Abuse

Gaslighting

Getting into the Psyche of the Abuser

If You’ve Been Reported to CPS 

Narcissists

Personal Stories

Physical Abuse

Recovery

Stopping Abuse/ Helping Abused Friend, Family Member, Co-worker, Child 

Toxic Friendships/Relationships

Understanding the Abused

Verbal Abuse

Understanding the Abused

I’ve noticed quite a bit of hits from keywords referring to abuse.  This is, unfortunately, a common problem, and people need to find help.

There are also many hits from keywords referring to narcissistic or borderline personality disorders, disorders which often lead to abusive behaviors.

So I will make a series of posts from my webpage on abuse, which gathers together links I have found most helpful.  I have them arranged by category. 

The first part is on the general topic of abuse.  The last section of the webpage, my own personal abuse stories, has already been posted here.

From my page Abuse in all its forms: My Thoughts, Quotes and Links to help:

Understanding the Abused

How women get involved with verbally abusive men

Love and Stockholm Syndrome: The Mystery of Loving an Abuser (Explaining why your friend/family member/co-worker stays with that man/woman, defends them, and even treats you badly for trying to help)

Why do you stay? (Traumatic Bonding And The Development Of The Stockholm Syndrome in Battered Women)

Top 7 Reasons People Stay in Abusive Marriages by Cathy Meyer, About.com Guide

From “Love and Stockholm Syndrome,” above:

Don’t feel the victim’s behavior is against the family or friends. It may be a form of survival or a way of lowering stress.

Victims may be very resistive, angry, and even hostile due to the complexity of their relationship with the controller/abuser. They may even curse, threaten, and accuse loved ones and friends.

This hostile defensiveness is actually self-protection in the relationship–an attempt to avoid “trouble”.

I can only hope this is true…otherwise I can’t explain how my “best friend” turned into an abuser himself….Abuse sends out hostile waves that must be stopped before they do even more damage.

The Topic of Abuse (General)

Abuse Specifically Against Husbands/Boyfriends 

Borderline Personality Disorder 

Bullying 

Child Abuse

Domestic Abuse (anyone who lives together or is in a romantic relationship, including roommates or family members)

Emotional Abuse

Gaslighting

Getting into the Psyche of the Abuser

If You’ve Been Reported to CPS 

Narcissists

Personal Stories

Physical Abuse

Recovery

Stopping Abuse/ Helping Abused Friend, Family Member, Co-worker, Child 

Toxic Friendships/Relationships

Understanding the Abused

Verbal Abuse

 

Toxic Friendships/Relationships

I’ve noticed quite a bit of hits from keywords referring to abuse.  This is, unfortunately, a common problem, and people need to find help.

There are also many hits from keywords referring to narcissistic or borderline personality disorders, disorders which often lead to abusive behaviors.

So I will make a series of posts from my webpage on abuse, which gathers together links I have found most helpful.  I have them arranged by category. 

The first part is on the general topic of abuse.  The last section of the webpage, my own personal abuse stories, has already been posted here.

From my page Abuse in all its forms: My Thoughts, Quotes and Links to help:

Toxic Friendships/Relationships

How to Protect your Health Against Toxic Behavior (Especially good if the mistreatment you suffer comes not from a spouse, but from someone else you have to have contact with.  It gives ways to forgive such treatment and set boundaries.  In the comments, you can also find advice on how not to be toxic yourself.  There is some New Agey stuff in the article and the comments, but most of the advice applies no matter what religion you are.)

Unhealthy Friendships: Why do we keep them and how do you know if a friendship is unhealthy?

How to Recognize a Toxic Friend

Women as Verbal Abusers

The Topic of Abuse (General)

Abuse Specifically Against Husbands/Boyfriends 

Borderline Personality Disorder 

Bullying 

Child Abuse

Domestic Abuse (anyone who lives together or is in a romantic relationship, including roommates or family members)

Emotional Abuse

Gaslighting

Getting into the Psyche of the Abuser

If You’ve Been Reported to CPS 

Narcissists

Personal Stories

Physical Abuse

Recovery

Stopping Abuse/ Helping Abused Friend, Family Member, Co-worker, Child 

Toxic Friendships/Relationships

Understanding the Abused

Verbal Abuse

 

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