Verbal Abuse

I’ve noticed quite a bit of hits from keywords referring to abuse.  This is, unfortunately, a common problem, and people need to find help.

There are also many hits from keywords referring to narcissistic or borderline personality disorders, disorders which often lead to abusive behaviors.

So I will make a series of posts from my webpage on abuse, which gathers together links I have found most helpful.  I have them arranged by category. 

The first part is on the general topic of abuse.  The last section of the webpage, my own personal abuse stories, has already been posted here.

From my page Abuse in all its forms: My Thoughts, Quotes and Links to help:

Verbal Abuse

Verbal Abuse Checklist

What is Verbal Abuse?

Dr. Irene’s Verbal Abuse Site

Verbal/Emotional Abuse

The Verbal Abuse Site

Identify & Respond to Verbal Abuse

10 Myths About Verbal Abuse

How to React to Verbal Abuse

Getting Verbal Abuse Out of My Life (personal blog)

Verbal Abuse: Wikipedia

Verbal Abuse Healing

Verbal Abuse FAQ

Controlling Abuse

Verbal Abuse

Verbal Abuse in Relationships

Invisible Scars: Verbal Abuse

Women as Verbal Abusers

There are harsh tones, there’s yelling, and one little girl (correctly) pointed out that there is a difference between yelling and screaming. Which do you think is worse? Why? See what I mean?–You do know the intricacies of body language.

….If you think about it, yelling has got to be one of the most self-defeating behaviors ever tried. Check out this scene: He yells. Now she’s mad, so she yells. Well, he is really mad, so now he really yells. Where, oh where is this going? No where. Of course. –DrDeb, Yelling does NOT get what you want

 

You may be asking, why does this person treat me this way.  Patricia Evans describes in her books that as a result of a traumatic experience the person does not develop emotionally into what we see as normal….

A person that has truly been born again and filled with the Holy Spirit cannot deliver anger to another….

Emotions, in this case anger, are not something that just happens.  We are accountable for our emotions.  Anger is a choice.  We can choose to be angry or choose understanding and love.

Without understanding that we are fully responsible for our actions to each other, that our emotions are not a result of our past, we cannot step out of the chains that bind us.

We cannot blame the things of our past for our current behavior, or use the things from our past as a crutch to justify inappropriate behavior.  —Verbal Abuse Healing, Denise Zink  (Also see this page for tips on standing up for yourself against verbal abuse.  For example, say “Stop” and nothing else.)

 

ONCE AGAIN: IF YOU FEEL SCARED OF YOUR SPOUSE/FRIEND/FAMILY MEMBER, SOMETHING IS WRONG.  YOU SHOULD NOT FEEL YOU MUST LIE FOR THEM, OR DO ANYTHING UNDERHANDED OR MANIPULATIVE OR ILLEGAL.  YOU SHOULD NOT FEAR THEIR TEMPER.

The Topic of Abuse (General)

Abuse Specifically Against Husbands/Boyfriends 

Borderline Personality Disorder 

Bullying 

Child Abuse

Domestic Abuse (anyone who lives together or is in a romantic relationship, including roommates or family members)

Emotional Abuse

Gaslighting

Getting into the Psyche of the Abuser

If You’ve Been Reported to CPS 

Narcissists

Personal Stories

Physical Abuse

Recovery

Stopping Abuse/ Helping Abused Friend, Family Member, Co-worker, Child 

Toxic Friendships/Relationships

Understanding the Abused

Verbal Abuse

Understanding the Abused

I’ve noticed quite a bit of hits from keywords referring to abuse.  This is, unfortunately, a common problem, and people need to find help.

There are also many hits from keywords referring to narcissistic or borderline personality disorders, disorders which often lead to abusive behaviors.

So I will make a series of posts from my webpage on abuse, which gathers together links I have found most helpful.  I have them arranged by category. 

The first part is on the general topic of abuse.  The last section of the webpage, my own personal abuse stories, has already been posted here.

From my page Abuse in all its forms: My Thoughts, Quotes and Links to help:

Understanding the Abused

How women get involved with verbally abusive men

Love and Stockholm Syndrome: The Mystery of Loving an Abuser (Explaining why your friend/family member/co-worker stays with that man/woman, defends them, and even treats you badly for trying to help)

Why do you stay? (Traumatic Bonding And The Development Of The Stockholm Syndrome in Battered Women)

Top 7 Reasons People Stay in Abusive Marriages by Cathy Meyer, About.com Guide

From “Love and Stockholm Syndrome,” above:

Don’t feel the victim’s behavior is against the family or friends. It may be a form of survival or a way of lowering stress.

Victims may be very resistive, angry, and even hostile due to the complexity of their relationship with the controller/abuser. They may even curse, threaten, and accuse loved ones and friends.

This hostile defensiveness is actually self-protection in the relationship–an attempt to avoid “trouble”.

I can only hope this is true…otherwise I can’t explain how my “best friend” turned into an abuser himself….Abuse sends out hostile waves that must be stopped before they do even more damage.

The Topic of Abuse (General)

Abuse Specifically Against Husbands/Boyfriends 

Borderline Personality Disorder 

Bullying 

Child Abuse

Domestic Abuse (anyone who lives together or is in a romantic relationship, including roommates or family members)

Emotional Abuse

Gaslighting

Getting into the Psyche of the Abuser

If You’ve Been Reported to CPS 

Narcissists

Personal Stories

Physical Abuse

Recovery

Stopping Abuse/ Helping Abused Friend, Family Member, Co-worker, Child 

Toxic Friendships/Relationships

Understanding the Abused

Verbal Abuse

 

Toxic Friendships/Relationships

I’ve noticed quite a bit of hits from keywords referring to abuse.  This is, unfortunately, a common problem, and people need to find help.

There are also many hits from keywords referring to narcissistic or borderline personality disorders, disorders which often lead to abusive behaviors.

So I will make a series of posts from my webpage on abuse, which gathers together links I have found most helpful.  I have them arranged by category. 

The first part is on the general topic of abuse.  The last section of the webpage, my own personal abuse stories, has already been posted here.

From my page Abuse in all its forms: My Thoughts, Quotes and Links to help:

Toxic Friendships/Relationships

How to Protect your Health Against Toxic Behavior (Especially good if the mistreatment you suffer comes not from a spouse, but from someone else you have to have contact with.  It gives ways to forgive such treatment and set boundaries.  In the comments, you can also find advice on how not to be toxic yourself.  There is some New Agey stuff in the article and the comments, but most of the advice applies no matter what religion you are.)

Unhealthy Friendships: Why do we keep them and how do you know if a friendship is unhealthy?

How to Recognize a Toxic Friend

Women as Verbal Abusers

The Topic of Abuse (General)

Abuse Specifically Against Husbands/Boyfriends 

Borderline Personality Disorder 

Bullying 

Child Abuse

Domestic Abuse (anyone who lives together or is in a romantic relationship, including roommates or family members)

Emotional Abuse

Gaslighting

Getting into the Psyche of the Abuser

If You’ve Been Reported to CPS 

Narcissists

Personal Stories

Physical Abuse

Recovery

Stopping Abuse/ Helping Abused Friend, Family Member, Co-worker, Child 

Toxic Friendships/Relationships

Understanding the Abused

Verbal Abuse

 

Stopping Abuse/ Helping Abused Friend, Family Member, Co-worker, Child

I’ve noticed quite a bit of hits from keywords referring to abuse.  This is, unfortunately, a common problem, and people need to find help.

There are also many hits from keywords referring to narcissistic or borderline personality disorders, disorders which often lead to abusive behaviors.

So I will make a series of posts from my webpage on abuse, which gathers together links I have found most helpful.  I have them arranged by category. 

The first part is on the general topic of abuse.  The last section of the webpage, my own personal abuse stories, has already been posted here.

From my page Abuse in all its forms: My Thoughts, Quotes and Links to help:

 

Stopping Abuse/ Helping Abused Friend, Family Member, Co-worker, Child

Yes, you can stop violence against women

How to help a friend who’s being abused/survived sexual assault

How to help a co-worker who’s being abused

Avoiding Victim-Blaming

Community Action Stops Abuse (CASA)

MOSAIC Threat Assessment System

Safety Planning–Extensive Guide

How to clear your browser

GOOD NEWS: STEALTH GENIE HAS GONE DOWN: See articles Pakistani Man Indicted for Selling StealthGenie Spyware App and Maker of StealthGenie, an app used for spying, is indicted in Virginia.

How to Help Someone who is being Abused

Helping an Abused Friend

How to Help a Friend who is Being Abused

Domestic Violence Awareness Handbook

How to Work with CPS

CPS brochure

CPS FAQ

Friends in Need: Interventions for Domestic Violence

How can I help a friend or family member who is being abused?

How to Help Victims of Domestic Violence

For Domestic Violence Survivors and their Family, Friends and Co-workers

Care and Protection Cases

Identifying child abuse

Child Welfare Information Gateway

What we can do about child abuse

Child Abuse and Neglect: Recognizing and Preventing Child Abuse

Domestic Violence Handbook (though it does concern me how much this focuses on women as victims and men as abusers, when it’s often the other way around, or mutual)

What happens when you report someone to Social Services

Is my friend being abused?

But since Karen’s death, I have learned that it’s all right to say to your friend, “I don’t think your partner is treating you well.” That’s being a good friend (Liz Welch, Redbook Magazine, You May Think Domestic Violence has Nothing to do with You).

Speaking up about someone else’s abuse, or walking away from your own, is never easy. It takes strength, support, and a courageous spirit.

Share your inspiring stories of survival, as well as your experience with a friend or family member who was — or still is — in an abusive relationship.

No matter the voice, no matter the story, there is power in sharing our truth. –Redbook Magazine, Time to talk, link no longer works

Reporting child abuse can be difficult on a personal level. You may feel that you are “meddling” in someone else’s affairs, breaking up a family or disrupting people’s lives.

However, by reporting suspected child abuse, you are making a difference in the life of a child. Sometimes we have to intervene to stop damaging and destructive behaviors that are being done to people who are weaker or have no voice, no power to stop it.

When you step up and take action on behalf of a child in this position, you will not only make a difference in that child’s life, you may also touch the lives of all of the people involved. –Stephanie Partridge, Signs of Emotional Child Abuse

Even if you just suspect that someone is abusing or neglecting a child, report it. If you are afraid to report the suspected abuse or neglect because you might be wrong, do it any way.

If you are wrong, you can always apologize. If you are right, you may have saved the life of a child and you have definitely changed the life of a child for the better.

As a child, I always wished someone would ask about if I was being sexually abused. I couldn’t voluntarily ask someone for help. I was too afraid.

This is true for many children. If you suspect a child is being abused, ask. Please ask.

Not all children will tell you the truth, but some will. They, like me, are just waiting for someone to care enough to ask. –Patricia Singleton, Be a Voice for Children–Speak Out About Child Abuse

The Topic of Abuse (General)

Abuse Specifically Against Husbands/Boyfriends 

Borderline Personality Disorder 

Bullying 

Child Abuse

Domestic Abuse (anyone who lives together or is in a romantic relationship, including roommates or family members)

Emotional Abuse

Gaslighting

Getting into the Psyche of the Abuser

If You’ve Been Reported to CPS 

Narcissists

Personal Stories

Physical Abuse

Recovery

Stopping Abuse/ Helping Abused Friend, Family Member, Co-worker, Child 

Toxic Friendships/Relationships

Understanding the Abused

Verbal Abuse

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