From Hannah’s post Verbal abuse of children caught on tape, Video number 2 made me think of Tracy, the way she goes off on people.  I’ve heard her scream at the kids like this, only around me she kept out the cussing; but I have it documented that she would cuss at them, too.  Sometimes it would frighten me; sometimes it would anger me.  Here is Video number 2:

This is what I mean by screaming, not “scolding,” not even “yelling.”  Screaming like this is indeed child abuse.

I’ve also heard her scream at Richard like this.  I’ve heard her scream at others like this, only with all that cussing included for adults.  Her online tirades, both to me and to Todd, were exactly like this.

In fact, this video is indeed triggering me a bit, as the blogger warns can happen.  Not just the tirades, but the hitting, because I’ve seen Tracy smack her kids around in ways that I do not normally see, and because Richard told me she almost killed me once.

I’ve heard other parents yell at their kids, but not like this.  My mother yelled on occasion, but she sure never sounded like this.

I do recall losing my cool when my son was a baby and apparently had undiagnosed colic, but I felt horrible, and fought to hold my temper so that would not happen anymore; I have not done that for years now.

It just is not right!  Screaming like this severely damages people, no matter how old they are, or what their relation to you.  And Richard tried to tell me screaming is not abuse!

And Tracy tried to tell me she’s “innocent” and not abusive and I’m lying about her!  And she tried to tell me I should just “grow up” and take it!  BULLSH**!

My husband misses the kids, but is very glad this family is out of our lives, does not want them back in it.

Well, sort of out.  They still stalk my blog weekly…..

The video is also here.

The batterer always blames the Victim for causing the violence. ..

The Victim should understand the hurtful and abusive things their partner may say, are not true. Most likely they are only attempts to avoid responsibility or are said to make it difficult for victim to leave…

These are some of the common things abusers say:
  • You’re so stupid…
    If you tell anyone else about the abuse… you’ll be sorry / no-one will believe you / I’ll report you to social services as an unfit mother. “You don’t know who you’re up against. (He means: I’ll have the last word.) –Sachin Samy, These are some of the common things most abusers say

Here a blogger summarizes an episode of Supernanny, the infamous “Davis Family” episode.

YES abusers tear down children as well. It would much harder to explain to them if they would ‘change themselves’ how the abuse would stop wouldn’t it?

Think about the younger children – do you think they would get it when asked to change? He will always have no problem telling you WHY he is justified! Its truly a hard dynamic to change when they feel entitled to this behavior. —Part 3 of the series

It’s very hard when people are deliberately and defiantly non repentant and hard faced – turning up in church as if nothing is wrong and nothing has happened. Having to cope with your abusers turning up in church whilst deliberately sticking 2 fingers up at God is beyond the capacity of describe.

Having to cope with your abusers continuing to use the church as their cover story is beyond awful and beyond hypocrisy. Having them do all of that on that back of having lied and denied to prevent justice and to prevent exposure is disgusting and distasteful at the very least.

It is utterly appalling for me as a victim, for those who gave evidence against them to the police and for the church leadership who now know the truth about them.

It’s totally ghastly and repulsive to be brutally honest.  It is as if they have no conscience at all. Sometimes when people have lied and denied for long enough they actually believe their lies and denials to be absolute truth regardless of evidence to the contrary.

Thus they worm their way out of it and can be incredibly and frighteningly convincing in their true lies….

Without confession, repentance, admission of guilt or other things which lead to closure surely it will always be there at the back of your mind. Having to watch your abusers behaving as if nothing untoward happened and all is normal fuels the fire.

When people have been so deliberately cruel to you and are so defiant when faced with the truth where can you go? How can such defiance be coped with, processed and gotten out of your mind. It is in reality and in all truth extremely difficult.

It’s almost impossible to forgive cruel people who lie, pretend all is normal and do all they can legally to silence you and keep their evil deeds secret. –Princess Fi, BETRAYAL, DEFIANCE, LIES, DENIAL, INJUSTICE, FORGIVENESS ISSUES

Why is it that so many Christians don’t get that you can be a Christian and be in such a mess. Why is that?

Instead of coming alongside me, giving me space to tell my story and helping, it was oh just forgive, forget, move on, it happened so long ago, stop harping on about it, stop dragging it up from the past. WHY IS THAT? 

How can I ever forget 20 years of abuse and torture? It may have happened a long time ago, but I live with it every minute I’m awake and then in my nightmares when I do sleep. For me it’s not in the past but very much in the present.

How can I forgive when my abusers deny anything ever happened? How can I forgive when my abusers say anything bad that ‘might’ have happened was because I such a bad person, they did nothing wrong?

Why are churches and so many Christians so closed minded about the realities of living with past sexual abuse? Why are churches and so many Christians so closed minded about the realities of the deep damage of childhood abuse and the complexities of the healing processes?

Why do so many churches have systems in place to prevent abuse happening, but provide little or no support to REALLY help victims heal? Why is it that so many Christians tell you that as you are a Christian, you are a new person so your past is gone, so all the stuff from your past abuse should be gone too?

Why is it that so many Christians tell you that you are doing something wrong if you aren’t healing from the damage of the abuse or if you don’t have joy etc?

Why do so many Christians tell you that if you read your bible enough and pray enough you should be fine? Thereby implying that you cannot be reading your bible or praying enough because you are a screwed up mess!

Why is it that so many Christians think you don’t need counseling or anything; you just need to get over it, forgive your abusers and forget it? WHY IS THAT? –Princess Fi, Spiritual + Religious Abuse