Nyssa's Hobbit Hole

Month: January 2016

Finished with the first draft of my novel about obsession

I started it in October, and it’s already finished, roughly 87,000 words.  🙂  That’s about three months.  It usually takes me longer to write a draft that size, but the inspiration hit and would not let go till it was done.

I’ve heard that passion like that can translate to the reader passionately reading it, while if the story bores the writer, it’ll bore the reader.  So I hope this novel will turn out well.

Heck, now I feel like I’m addicted to the story and have to wean myself off writing it.  But maybe not: The research should be exciting as well, since WWII was one of my obsessions in high school, and the reason why I took German.  And then there’s tweaks, adding scenes that come to me, and the many revisions.

I’m very pleased with it, though now I have to let it sit while I do some more research into WWII Germany, make sure the background is sound.  I have some websites and books which I can’t wait to delve into more deeply, especially this one about POW camps in Germany.

This is the revision of Unwilling Time-Traveler, transformed from my high school novella into a story of obsessive and narcissistic love.  I took everything I learned about narcissism after my experience with my narc ex-friend Richard, and after revisiting abusive relationships from college.

A patriotic, young American girl from 1992 meets a time-traveling mad scientist, her Svengali.  He’s also a wealthy German Junker from 1943, used to getting what he wants by any means necessary.  They become obsessed with each other, but then she discovers he’s a Nazi sympathizer, who’s also obsessed with building a weapon to change the course of the War–and history.  But he will not let her go, and she’s not so sure she wants him to.

 

Perception of abuse victims as either weak or liars

This e-booklet takes the common perception of abuse victims–as passive, not assertive enough, even passive-aggressive–and turns it on its ear.  It shows how the apparent “passiveness” of victims is actually a form of resistance, especially after the abuser has shown that blatant resistance brings on more abuse.

It also tears apart the idea that if you’re a true victim, you don’t recognize the abuse, unless you’re a narcissist or the abuser yourself.

No, I know very well when someone is abusing me, and I don’t like it.  I recognize it’s unfair.  Whether I try to fight back or just turn it around in my own head, I am resisting the abuser’s picture of me.  That does NOT make me a narcissist or an abuser or a liar about being abused.

And yes, whatever I do, the abuser turns around on me, accusing me of abusing or being selfish or whatever.  In college, my exes Shawn and Phil both did this.

More recently, Richard and Tracy did this to me.  I resisted, sometimes in my head, sometimes in other ways.  I resisted by telling my husband all about it, so Richard and Tracy accused me yet again of doing something wrong by telling him.

When Tracy posted about me on her Facebook wall, I resisted by posting the truth on mine.

I resisted by telling the truth about the abuse to everyone I knew, and also by writing about it on my website.  Yes, I wanted them to find it and see that I was resisting their abuse rather than blaming myself.  Then when they found the website and threatened to sue me, I resisted by keeping the site up and telling all my friends and family about their threats.

When they went to my priest and told him lies about me, I resisted by telling my priest the truth.

According to this booklet, rather than feel ashamed of my actions, I should see them as strength, as preserving my dignity.

Some people will try to make the abuse victim either 1) feel she/he wasn’t assertive enough, or 2) feel she was too aggressive, shouldn’t have told because that’s “gossip.”

But this booklet tears that to shreds and says NO, this is how victims resist abuse, and it is a GOOD thing that helps them keep their dignity:

Honouring Resistance: How Women Resist Abuse in Intimate Relationships

 

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