Nyssa's Hobbit Hole

Month: July 2017

Reblog: How narcissistic abuse prepared us to fight against what is happening right now. | Lucky Otters Haven

I don’t think there’s any coincidence that the great army of us who discovered that our own brokenness was a result of narcissistic abuse came about a mere ten or twenty years before this conscienceless, sociopathic cabal of self serving narcissists, con artists, criminals, and their flying monkeys (enablers and sycophants) rose to take power over our nation and maybe the world. I truly believe that as painful and unfair as our suffering was, if we were able to recognize it for what it was and escape from it, we are the ones with the right sort of training and emotional resilience to lead the fight against the darkness that is threatening to destroy the world. It’s a kind of holy war, but it has nothing to do with religion. It has to do with good versus evil, and because we got to see firsthand in our own families of origin (or our abusive marriages or other close relationships) how damaging and pernicious this type of evil can be, we have a huge advantage over most of seeing through to the truth of things (and where there is truth, there is goodness and justice).

Source: How narcissistic abuse prepared us to fight against what is happening right now. | Lucky Otters Haven

The Seduction of Eva Volk: Review

I just finished reading The Seduction of Eva Volk by C.D. Baker.  This brilliant book is from the perspective of German Christians living in the post-WWI and then Nazi eras.  It depicts how good people could get caught up in believing in Hitler and Nazi lies.

For more information, go here (the Amazon page, with plot summary), here (a Youtube promo video), and here (C.D. Baker’s website, with plot summary and reviews).

The book pulls you into their world, so you can understand how they were so deceived by Hitler.  You see ordinary people–farmers, preachers, Protestants, Catholics, teenagers, shopowners, etc.–and how their daily lives were affected from the 1920s through the end of the War.

It also depicts vivid battle scenes in the Russian Front and in Germany at the end of the war, from the point of view of the sensitive poet Andreas, a soldier bound by his oath to Hitler.  The author consulted Johann Voss, a former German soldier and author of the memoir Black Edelweiss, describing what it was like to be in the Waffen-SS.

The book also centers around a love triangle–Eva, Andreas, and Andreas’ Nazi brother Wolf–which symbolizes the seduction of Germans by Hitler, and the eventual unblinding of their eyes.

The book does not take sides of one country against another.  While deploring the barbarism and atrocities of Hitler and the Nazis, the book also notes the atrocities on the side of the Allies.  You see characters wavering between what they hear from the Nazi propaganda machine, and rumors of brutality being done by their own side, not wanting to believe the rumors.  It is a warning against falling for Hitler-type characters, against the mass suffering and death which they can bring about.  Millions died on all sides.

The final chapters are engrossing and fast-paced, leaving you wondering until the very end how it’s going to turn out, who will survive as Germany collapses into rubble and starvation and death.  Yet the epilogue does not leave you with a typical American happy ending: It’s satisfying, but grim as you recognize the toll the war and Naziism took on all the characters.

 

 

A little bit about Internet Safety and checking your abuser’s blog

Over the years of reading blogs by and about survivors of narcissistic abuse, I’ve come across the concept of checking up on your abuser even after you’ve broken off contact with them.  This seems to be a natural human tendency: checking their blog, website, Facebook timeline, Twitter.  Of course, the common advice is not to do this because you need to cut yourself off, go through the withdrawal process, then move on and heal.

But I have another reason to put forth: Maybe with Facebook or Twitter they won’t know, since those platforms (from what I can tell) don’t allow you to collect stats from your visitors.  But many blogging and website formats do allow it in some form.  Even Wordpress.com allows you to install a Statcounter–You get limited information, but enough.  Blogger blogs allow both a full Statcounter and Google Analytics.  Especially if you have those two stat collectors working together, if you have a stalker after you–such as your abuser or narcisssistic family or sociopathic ex–you can track that person’s activities on your blog for years.

This is helpful for a blogging abuse/rape/other trauma victim.  But don’t forget:

It works both ways.

One of my stalkers has recently revealed to me where she works now.  It’s not through direct contact, but by checking my blog from work.  She has also been checking my church’s website from there, even though she hadn’t looked at it for some time.

(And yes, this makes me wonder a bit, the day after nearly getting into an accident on my bike.  I was riding with traffic, on the right, following all the laws, when somebody turned right in front of me.  My son said this person looked at me before they turned!  A few months ago, the same color vehicle started backing up into me right in the middle of the road.  I don’t want to live in fear or paranoia, but it’s enough to make a person wonder if somebody’s gunning for you.)

I had no idea where she was working.  Last I knew, the newspaper said she’d graduated college, but that was a few years ago.  I never would’ve thought of this place.  I wasn’t looking.  I avoid Googling her as if it were going to burn me.  But here was the information, given to me on a silver platter, unasked-for.

So keep that in mind when dealing with your narc ex-whatever.  Maybe they already know where you live, but you’ve changed jobs.  Or maybe you’ve moved.  Keep in mind that stats do NOT reveal home addresses without a subpoena, but work IPs reveal employer information because it’s a public place of business.

Now, I’m not some crazy stalker out to track down and harm my abusers.  But information like this in the wrong hands–I began to think I should post a public service message for my readers:

Don’t check the website/blog of your abuser/rapist/stalker/narc family/troll/etc.  Don’t think they won’t know.  Don’t give away where you are.  Just let them go.  Cold turkey!  I know at first it can be tough, but over time, it becomes easy.

 

 

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