Nearly three years ago now ( !!!!!! :O ) I posted the following here:
“Richard once called me his “dear, sweet Nyssa,” so I called him “my dear, sweet [his old Forum handle].” Back then we were still dear, close friends, or at least, he made me think so. (Whether any of it was ever real, or just him playing me for narcissistic supply, I now seriously doubt.) But it was a special name, held dear in my heart.
“I have another Forum friend, made in 2011 when I needed support after the abusive friendship ended and I found out about Richard’s criminal case. He came on the Forum during the couple of years I was away from it (2009?-2011). Just now, in a comments thread on one of his many Facebook posts, he called me his “dear, sweet Nyssa.”
“It caught me off-guard. Now somebody else has called me this.
“It was bittersweet: opening old wounds in one way, but healing in another…..”
I go through old posts nearly every day, checking links and making sure everything looks right. Today it was time to review the above post.
In 2014, it had already been three and a half years since the breaking of the “friendship,” but it still hurt deep inside. If it didn’t still hurt, I wonder if it could really have meant anything to begin with. You don’t just get over things like that. But I was recovering, much better able to go about my life without thinking constantly of the past.
But then the above happened, and pulled me back in to the pain for a moment. But also showed me that I could begin again. That’s why it was bittersweet.
Three years after the post, I don’t think the new Forum friend has called me that again, though we are still online friends. He is an–interesting sort, the kind who pretends to be a troll but is actually good-hearted.
But that’s not the point: The point is that I have moved on to new friends, thanks to Writer’s Club and a dear friend I met at church. My church friend shares my introversion, love of writing, AND obsession for all things German! 😀 And I periodically see old friends as well.
So this is a little vignette, not of much importance, but meant for my readers who still struggle to move on from abusive and/or narcissistic relationships. It is to show you that yes, there is hope, because yes, it does get better.