It’s Holy Friday. I have 3 hours of services today in contemplation of the crucifixion. I just came here to retweet some stuff. The trend column looks scary. Can I skip it today? *sigh*
One of my BFFs from college just posted that she could DIE if people don’t follow stay-at-home orders. One reason why I find the trend column so scary today. [It was full of bizarre things that suggested backlash in states with stay-at-home orders, along with Trump egging them on and inciting violent revolution.]
Gah, Evers is keeping our numbers down and some idiots want to recall him and protest. #IStandWithEvers
I swear, it feels like some people on Facebook just want to argue with every frickin’ thing I post. I don’t do that to *them.* [The worst part is they seem to be listening to Fox News, so they’re not arguing rationally or with knowledge.]
I’m supposed to be doing the finances but I’ve put it off for hours to go through social media…. Could say it’s laziness, but I think there’s another reason: missing people!
I see I’m not the only one getting crazies on my Facebook posts. Which reminds me I made the right decision unfriending one couple a few years ago….I made a post today and didn’t realize I was stepping into it. One person tried to argue with me, but other people argued back.
Disturbed to see how, even in the middle of a pandemic with people’s relatives & friends dying, still so many people think it’s overblown. One called CDC “propaganda.” His wife made bizarre comment about being forced to take vaccine. Sounds like Richard during the swine flu.
This couple’s arguments on other friends’ posts confirm my impression that they are just as bad as Richard and Tracy politically. Sad, though, because I thought they were decent people in college, especially him. Another person who keeps arguing with me–I thought she was a Dem!
Meanwhile, I hear about cases surging in counties where exes live…and keep wondering if they’re okay…Even though they mentally abused me, I still care.
Have slipped into a deep funk last couple of days. Still sleep/eat/etc., but unhappy. Social media usually should help, but not today because everybody else is in funk. Nobody’s okay.
Watching Holy Week services in my church. Homey–but also depressing because the church is empty except for people doing the services. Made me homesick. My BFFs are there watching but not next to me.
This kind of reminds me of 2010 after we broke off friendship with Richard/Tracy, how lonely I was. I struggled making friends in this town–which is a common problem–so I had nobody for a while. Kept trying but struggling. Now I have friends, clubs–and can’t go there.
And the first thing that came to mind when I saw them was,
Have you stopped abusing your kids, Richard and Tracy? I doubt it, but then, with DSS on your case after Richard choked Tracy’s girl, maybe they finally forced you to change your ways.
That girl must be about 19 now; I wonder what she’ll do now, where she’ll go, if she’ll still keep in contact with the one who almost killed her a decade ago and beat the crap out of her when she was little, or with the mother who screamed like a demon at her and called her stupid.
You tried to blame it on me when I avoided you, Tracy, tried to make all our problems my fault. But no, it was all on your head: I wanted nothing to do with an abuser and a bully, someone who included me in her list of abuse victims.
And Richard, you tried to force me to be friends with such a person, even when I saw her abuse you and the kids. I knew you had issues, but I thought you were trying to do better, until I learned what you did to your child. I knew Tracy abused you, even hit you, but I didn’t know at first that you also abused her. I also didn’t realize yet how you manipulated and abused me, too.
I don’t know why you guys still read here (happy 8th stalking anniversary in two months, BTW), because that won’t change. I will never say I deserved any of it, or that you were innocent of child abuse. I will never say you didn’t abuse each other. I will never say you were kind to me. I will never stop blaming you for everything that happened. I will never want anything to do with you unless you repent. And you couldn’t silence me: My friends and family know what happened and have seen your mug shot.
Meanwhile, I feel the same frustration as the professionals who try to stop abuse but don’t see results. I post here, I share articles on Facebook etc., yet keep seeing the same old comments everywhere: “My parents hit me and I turned out okay!” Um…no, not if you’re hitting and screaming at little kids.
Tojet is a fairy tale for adults. A mysterious girl named Tojet appears in a convent-run school one day. Two teachers, Sister Elizabeth and oddly-named Merkit Terjit, take her under their care.
But is she a lost, imaginative orphan or a time traveler with fairy powers? How does she know who Merkit is and how he was named?
Tragedy drives her away, but she returns as a young, beautiful woman, far more mature than she should be. She shows Merkit a world of obsession and dark fairies.
He can’t help falling in love with her, but what about the monastic vows he’s about to take? Can he fight the temptations that surround him?
[Longer, alternate summary, from old website:]
Written by Nyssa (penname Nerissa McCanmore), this novel is a combination of the fantasy, time travel, and Celtic genres. It combines the author’s imagination and European fairy lore to create the world of fairies in the novel. This is not a child’s fairy tale.
A nine-year-old girl appears at a convent-run school in the 1990s, saying her name is Tojet and she, a Celt, was born on a fairy mound in England in 566.
Merkit, a lay teacher, takes her into his home when asked to do so by Sister Elizabeth, a good friend of his.
Tojet says that the fairies of the mound have always favored her. They gave her the ability to transcend time, chose Merkit as her husband (knowing, unbeknownst to Tojet, that his wife would soon die), and named him so Tojet would recognize him.
Tojet now gives Merkit what she calls dream visions: interactive and sometimes dangerous dreams of her world of good and evil fairies, mixed with sixth-century Anglo-Saxon life. The longest dream vision takes him underneath the surface of the Atlantic Ocean, where he encounters mermaids, mermen, and undines.
When Merkit’s wife dies in a car accident, Tojet feels guilty because, for a moment, she wished his wife would leave. She disappears, taking all her belongings with her.
After two and a half years, Tojet returns–aged by nine years, mostly spent in other centuries. Now beautiful, brilliant, and well-educated, she wants to claim Merkit as her husband.
However, he has entered a monastery, and does not wish to leave it. Tojet does not give up on Merkit, and resumes showing him dream visions.
Without meaning to, she also leads him into dangerous experiences with fairies–and into temptation. Two prominent figures in the dream visions and real life are the fairy queen and the goblin king, who are their ambivalent allies.
—So far, this book has been given the highest rating by four readers. Also see professional reviews here and here. [Update: Last link was to Wayback Machine, but doesn’t work anymore for some reason.] Excerpts:
Ms. McCanmore does an amazing job of bringing fantasy and reality together. Tojet grabs you and brings you happily into her world. I found myself waiting on the edge of my chair for a new story to emerge. The story is wonderful and the characters of Merkit and Tojet are endearing; I also found Sister Elizabeth to be an inspiring character.– Fallen Angel Reviews
TOJET is a fantasy inspired inspirational story brought to life by author Nerissa McCanmore. . . . TOJET is a story that mixes many elements which on the surface would seem mutually exclusive. Strict Christian faith from both Tojet and Merkit and faerie opulence. Faith in one’s God and devotion to Him, or secular love. Is it a sin to lust after Tojet after devoting his life to the church, or would God want him to love this woman? Are the faeries pushing him to love Tojet or God or is it his own free will? . . . Interesting and unusual, TOJET is a good book if you are looking for something different.– Romance Readers Connection
Since whenever I revise the book, my reviews go away, I put them here for you:
A Modern Fairy Tale for the Modern Reader [6 stars] 19 Feb 2005 (updated 19 Feb 2005) by Thom Strizek:
A modern fairy tale, Tojet really brings the realm of fantasy to life. Nerissa McCanmore really knows how to paint a picture. Here’s a quick synopsis:
A little nine-year-old girl named Tojet appears at a Catholic school, where an orphan named Merkit Terjit teaches fourth grade with Sister Elizabeth. Tojet is an imaginative little orphan herself that talks of living with fairies, traveling through time and about how she and Merkit are betrothed.
A few months later, tragedy happens, and Tojet disappears for three years, only to reappear as a beautiful eighteen-year-old maiden to a very bereaved Merkit, who has decided to become a monk, and is about to end his time as a novice and take his first vows to actually become a monk. Now, he must choose either Tojet or the monastic vows he is about to take.
Throughout the book, Tojet takes Merkit on dream-visions (a power taught to her by pixies) where he experiences a world that most of us only dream about: fairy hills, exotic creatures, and European life in the 6th century. He experiences feelings and desires that we can only imagine; lusts that we can barely comprehend. He is abducted by a mermaid, entranced by a fairy queen and is disgusted by goblins. When she returns to him as a maiden, hoping he will accept her as a bride, her dream-visions become more sexually explicit.
McCanmore deserves props for her attention to detail; not only her definitive descriptions of dress and surroundings, but also to historical detail, citing the evolution of language and time measurement.
Throughout the book, I felt as though I was being pulled into one of Tojet’s dream visions. Every time I opened it, I felt as though I was instantly transported to another realm, and when I was forced to close it, the current scene I was in lingered in my mind, making me feel almost as though in limbo between her world and the real world.
The only part about this book that isn’t in every way perfect is the end. I felt as though almost robbed of the climax by too much happening within the last couple pages. That aside, Tojet is a wonderful piece of work; a perfect introduction of an author into the fantasy genre. I give it a big 3 thumbs up. fairies and pixies and all things fantastic . . .
[6 stars] 17 Feb 2005 (updated 17 Feb 2005) by aurorawolf Beautiful writing! Scenes such as this one stirred up my old childhood fantasies and made me smile: “The fairy child flew up to his shoulder and kissed his ear. “You’re friendly,” she said. “We like you.’ Merkit tumbled down to the floor and sat there, laughing. He had wet pixies in his hair, a fairy on his shoulder, fairies in his sink, and a Celtic medallion in his hand. What more did a person truly need?” (This is one fairy tale worth reading!)
Where did this story come from?
Tojet was based on a dream I had in 1996. The dream itself was caused by a story in Science Fiction and Fantasy magazine, in which Alice Liddell (of Alice in Wonderland) was a child vampire trying to tempt Lewis Carroll. My dream took on a life of its own after I wrote it down and began plotting out a story.
Tojet is a fairy love story; The Lighthouse is a Gothic story collection. To learn more, click on the above pictures.
What I’m Working on Now:
Typing An Unwilling Time-Traveler, a novella I wrote in high school, onto my main website, revived my old passion for that story. Ever since October 2015, I have been working on a full revision. The original was about a teenage girl abducted to Nazi Germany by a time-traveler; the new version has become far more complex. Now woven in are various themes such as narcissism, authoritarian religion, and falling for a Svengali figure. You can read about my revisions in my writing blog.
The trolls, of course, got upset with my exposing their tweets to the world the other night, as was expected. I discovered a new (to me) troll account in my notifications the next day, with a whole bunch of scolding tweets. Instead of reading them, I blocked her (which made them all vanish) and reported her.
Just trying to choose five tweets while reporting her to Twitter Support was nerve-wracking. These people are monsters. If she thinks I’ll read all her book-long tweets to/about me, she’s deluded.
While glancing over and choosing the five tweets, I noted that these (and other) trolls complain about their “targets” asking for help reporting them. They remind me of Trump and his cries of “presidential harassment.”
Victims of Twitter bullying often find that Twitter Support is no help, so they need to ask their friends in an attempt to get Twitter to pay more attention. This is our survival mechanism–so of course the bullies try to turn it around on us, gaslight us, and project their own harassment onto us, for using the best means we have to get online justice.
Oh yeah, and then there’s the concern trolling I saw in those tweets. “She blocks us for telling her the truth!” No, I block you for being a bunch of bullies and a$$holes who can’t accept that other people can come to different conclusions than the ones you want them to…
And I block you for being creepy. Like, seriously creepy. Frickin’ stalkers who go digging for info on complete strangers.
One said to me yesterday, “We know everything about you,” and used my first name for her Twitter handle. These trolls have done this to me before–specifically “Darcy,” three years ago. It only confirms that they found my Facebook back then and were the ones sending me at least some of the weird friend requests coming in back during that time.
And yet–I never gave them my real name. I never connect it to my online handle. I don’t know how they got it.
Why bring these things to light? Why bring their wrath on my head every time I expose them for what they are? Because these trolls have hurt a LOT of people over the past five years; a few of the people hurt are my friends.
People who do their best to track you down and learn “everything about you” when you refuse to give them that information, are stalkers, and no one to give any sort of credibility to.
That’s the kind of people these trolls are: bullies, stalkers, bunny boilers, psychopaths, abusers. They’ve hurt countless people over the past 5 years with their harassment campaigns and refusal to allow people to come to their own conclusions.
This is what narcissists do to keep their victims under control. By refusing to play along, we thwart them and their schemes over their victims. By refusing to play along with the trolls, I become a threat to the triangulation campaign they have been running for years. And by keeping my own mind, I’ve watched their claims fall to pieces–same as with everyone else who’s tried to control me in the past.
These trolls keep trying to bring me down because I’m a threat to them. By standing up to them, I take their power away. And that makes them angry, so they have to find ways to make me feel frightened or small.
You know what? So what. The more abusers try to shut me up, the louder I say it. I proved this to Richard and Tracy eight years ago. The more these trolls try to scare and ridicule me, the more I speak out.
Lots of people have deleted tweets and closed accounts to get these trolls off their backs. I just keep blogging and tweeting. (From my grandpa’s eulogy, it runs in the family. I also have Scottish ancestry: They’re fighters.) Same thing on Facebook: Most comments are supportive, but I get laughs and snarks as well on my political posts. But that just makes me post more because our democracy is at stake and I’m trying to wake people up to it.
A group of trolls has convinced themselves that I’m somebody else. Cleverness is not their strong point.
I have extensively documented these trolls who have targeted my blog and me in the past. You can find the stories in the Troll Archives.
I’ve now discovered that these people are convinced I’m somebody else. There is opinion and there is fact; my identity is provable fact. They are wrong and are committing defamation and libel, because they also accuse this other person of being a catfish, meaning they also are accusing ME of being a catfish now.
Now, I have always used handles on the Internet, to keep Internet Wackos from tracking me down to my place of residence etc. But I have never claimed to be somebody I’m not, have never catfished anybody. And I most certainly am not named “Jackie.” The last time I even knew a person with that name, was back in college, 25 years ago. Also, I have always lived in the Great Lakes area, while Jackie has always lived down South.
Um–What? I told my college friends how supposedly we didn’t actually do this thing that college kids don’t do, even though we did. We had a good laugh over it.
I started this thread; Anastasia’s usual target Sam responded; I guess that was enough to bring in Anastasia:
For a couple of weeks, I didn’t know Anastasia had crawled into the thread, since I’d blocked her. Then I found her scolding my friend Sam, whom this group of trolls has accused for five years of being “Jackie.” Since Anastasia is now accusing me of that, too, along with other people such as Kate, I said Anastasia sees Jackie in her breakfast cereal. She responded, “Good one, Jackie!”
Other trolls came in. One is Anastasia’s alternate account; I don’t know who the other two are. This is just a couple of the tweets:
One account was new to me; I discovered it today. The other ones were all blocked already, so I blocked her. It was NOT Anastasia, who was already blocked (you can click “view anyway” to see an account you’ve blocked). I posted:
This felt like a good time to finally demonstrate to one of my friends (who was in the thread) that he’s not alone, because he has his own trolls threatening him on Twitter, Facebook and online. I once told him about the trolls who targeted me, when he mentioned that I’d need to use my real name if I wrote an article for his blog. But it seems that Anastasia has to make everything about her. And apparently she’s using a different browser to check the thread, because all these trolls are supposed to be unable to see my replies, since they’re blocked. So while I was posting to my friend, Anastasia began posting:
If you’re so bored, why do you keep hanging around harassing innocent people? They’ve gone after a multitude of accounts the past five years, accusing them of being “Jackie,” even when a simple profile check will tell you it’s not.
What, stop tweeting to my own thread? You realize you didn’t create this thread and are not the only one on it? Or do you mean Kate–who, by the way, had only just replied the first time?
I began pulling in friends who know who I am; most through my Facebook account, but you can tell it’s “real” because my family connections and friends from all the way back to Kindergarten are on there. I’ve had it for ten years; you can find all my contact info, life history, etc. on there. Which is why I never post my real name out on the Interwebs, and have all sensitive bits of my Facebook profile closed to anyone but friends.
One of the people I pulled in was my college roommate. I would’ve loved to pull in another friend from my current church, but he has unfortunately taken his Twitter account down.
Now, all these people have lives and apparently didn’t see my pings, but any of them could tell these trolls they’re full of bull 💩. Meanwhile, Anastasia just kept going, digging herself further and further into her pit of stupidity:
So–It’s entertaining for you to falsely accuse someone and then watch them get upset about it and counter with the truth? You really look like a bunch of psychopaths.
Excuse me, what? You are wrong. So how exactly did I prove you right?
And BTW, EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD still calls it “trolls.” People in Asia probably call it “trolls.” You–don’t even know what reality is.
I go off for an hour or so to shake off the 💩 show, while I get some chores done etc., and come back to this:
Stop with the replies to MY OWN THREAD and MY OWN FRIENDS? YOU’RE the interloper.
This episode, by the way, is an excellent example of why you can’t trust trolls–especially these trolls–of telling you the truth about people. In the 3 years I’ve been on Twitter, I’ve seen lots of examples of trolls trying to “bring down” some Twitter account by telling the “truth” about it, or questioning its veracity. Yet these accounts have already been proven to be real, one way or another.
Also, this particular group of trolls, when accusing Jackie of being a catfish and a myriad of Twitter accounts of being Jackie, gives as “evidence” what appears to be tabloid trash, or their own webpages and memes. Sam understandably went into hiding online, burying identifying information, because these are the sort of people who showed up where they thought Jackie was living.
Meanwhile, my own checking of the criminal records of the Jackie they accuse, pulled up nothing but an unpaid traffic ticket. I checked it again just now, in fact, and that’s still all there was.
They claim that fellow troll “MM” reported Jackie to the FBI. But if Sam is really “Jackie,” then why is Sam’s account still posting online freely, and Jackie not in jail for all these supposed crimes reported to the FBI TWO and a HALF YEARS ago? (With them identifying Jackie and her address, it should’ve been an open and shut case–IF it were true.) If Sam’s a woman, then who is this man doing Sam’s podcast? And wouldn’t his girlfriend know he was actually a woman, considering that she’s visited him (I have verified both this and her identity)?
Meanwhile, these trolls are cackling away at being so clever, when they’ve actually been very, very stupid.
Update: Now a different troll is trying to doxx me and tell me they know all about me. Which shows what psychopaths they all are, playing mind games like this. It also shows exactly how credible they are. Keep that in mind when you hear the rumors that they spread, or any other trolls you encounter online. In the meantime, please go into that thread if you have a Twitter, and report them all.
Several times over the past decade, I’ve written on here about a guy we encountered in the SCA 20 years ago. He was apparently sociopathic and caused a lot of trouble in our shire. Years later, he went to jail for taking naughty pics of an underage girl. He’s been in and out of court since. I summarized our whole history with him, what I learned afterwards, and a criminal case which hit legal websites and Youtube, here:
Take a minute to read that and you’ll know everything you need to keep up. I describe the weird language he used to protest that he’s not a citizen of the US (Inc) but of the US. Oh, and just as he finally resolved the case I describe in that post, guilty but time already served, he was busted–AGAIN–for violating the sex registry requirement. This time, though, he didn’t take as long, didn’t go through all those lawyers, and just went ahead and pled no contest. That was finally resolved last week.
“i man known as (Muhammed-Kabeer Gbaja-Biamila) am in the state of ‘man’ now: past: forthwith,” the handwritten note filed with the Brown County Clerk of Court reads in part. “Not a Defendant: Respondant all benefits: maybe: waived by i.”
If you were the judge in the former Packers player’s divorce proceeding and received that note, you might be more than a little puzzled about what you were being asked to do.
But the peculiar language that Gbaja-Biamila and his associates have been using to baffle the Brown County court system and confuse the public in recent months is straight out of the “sovereign citizen” playbook born out of the white supremacist movement of the 1960s and 1970s, according to an expert in the subject.
The language is a variation of the “sovereign citizen” movement, started 50 years ago by extremist groups like the Posse Comitatus, said Mark Pitcavage, a senior research fellow with the Anti-Defamation League’s Center on Extremism who has been studying the movement for 25 years.
At its core, the language is intended to deny the authority of police and courts, which proponents of the sovereign-citizen movement say have no jurisdiction over victim-less crimes and civil matters.
The movement started as anti-government ideology by white supremacists and anti-Semites in the United States in the late 1960s, Pitcavage said. Through natural attrition, those people began to die off, but the movement continued to expand across racial and ethnic boundaries and spread overseas, to other English-speaking countries.
…Proponents claim the U.S. government secretly enslaves its citizens by establishing them from birth as corporations rather than private individuals, by putting their names in all capital letters on legal documents — everything from birth certificates to driver’s licenses.
…Gbaja-Biamila told the Green Bay Press-Gazette recently that admitting to being a “person” rather than a “man” is to accept the state’s illegitimate authority. And like the sovereign citizens that Pitcavage talks about, Gbaja-Biamila believes police, prosecutors and judges have no business charging people with victim-less crimes.
…“Sovereigns believe that if they can find just the right combination of words, punctuation, paper ink color and timing, they can have anything they want — freedom from taxes, unlimited wealth, and life without licenses, fees or laws, are all just a few strangely worded documents away. It’s the modern-day equivalent of ‘abracadabra,’” the law center wrote in an article on its website.
The weird “i man” language is a new variant; the basic point is using language to make it sound like you’re not subject to the courts, and rejecting legal documents. This all sounded familiar, so I went back to the bizarre document written by the guy I knew 20 years ago–let’s call him “J.”
Especially at the beginning and the end of J’s document, you can see the sovereign-citizen-style language. I recall reading in the newspaper back around 2010 that J doesn’t have any documentation, despite being born a US citizen, and that’s on purpose to relinquish the control of the state over him. It also made it difficult for the police to figure out who he was (he has a bunch of aliases). I wanted to pull that up for you, but it looks like old articles have been purged.
Scott Walker used his position as Wisconsin Governor to cover up acts of domestic terrorism, while criminally violating the due process and other rights of [J], effectively denying [J] his First Amendment guarantee to “redress of grievances” and access to various state and federal courts, to a jury trial, and litigation of the merits of [J]’s criminal RICO claims.
Writing in American Scientific Affiliation, Dennis L. Feucht reviewed American Militias: Rebellion, Racism & Religion by Richard Abanes, and described the theory of Richard McDonald, a sovereign-citizen leader, which is that there are two classes of citizens in America: the “original citizens of the states” (or “States citizens”) and “U.S. citizens”. McDonald asserts that U.S. citizens or “Fourteenth Amendment”
citizens have civil rights, legislated to give the freed black slaves after the Civil War rights comparable to the unalienable constitutional rights of white state citizens. The benefits of U.S. citizenship are received by consent in exchange for freedom. State citizens consequently take steps to revoke and rescind their U.S. citizenship and reassert their de jure common-law state citizen status. This involves removing one’s self from federal jurisdiction and relinquishing any evidence of consent to U.S. citizenship, such as a Social Security number, driver’s license, car registration, use of ZIP codes, marriage license, voter registration, and birth certificate. Also included is refusal to pay state and federal income taxes because citizens not under U.S. jurisdiction are not required to pay them. Only residents (resident aliens) of the states, not its citizens, are income-taxable, state citizens argue. And as a state citizen landowner, one can bring forward the original land patent and file it with the county for absolute or allodial property rights. Such allodial ownership is held “without recognizing any superior to whom any duty is due on account thereof” (Black’s Law Dictionary). Superiors include those who levy property taxes or who hold mortgages or liens against the property.
In support of his theories, McDonald has established State Citizen Service Centers around the United States as well as a related web presence.
Writer Richard Abanes asserts that sovereign citizens fail to sufficiently examine the context of the case laws they cite, and ignore adverse evidence, such as Federalist No. 15, where Alexander Hamilton expressed the view that the Constitution placed everyone personally under federal authority.
Some sovereign citizens also claim that they can become immune to most or all laws of the United States by renouncing their citizenship, a process they refer to as “expatriation”, which involves filing or delivering a nonlegal document claiming to renounce citizenship in a “federal corporation” and declaring only to be a citizen of the state in which they reside, to any county clerk’s office that can be convinced to accept it
It all sounds like not only is Gbaja-Biamila part of this sovereign citizen movement, but my husband’s old “nemesis” J is as well. It’s all frickin’ nuts! People wonder if G-B was knocked in the head too many times (he used to play for the Packers); I wonder the same about J….
Though to my great relief, they started to leave me alone, they still harass their usual target, “S,” to this day. They accuse him of being a catfish who’s really a woman named JO–an accusation perpetuated by a reality show which has been playing along to hide a scandal (while S insists on exposing the whole thing to reclaim his good name). It’s all very Kafkaesque.
Meanwhile, S and I became friends, especially after the trolls targeted me.
Well, I have witnessed S’s gradual opening up online to the public. He has a blog and a Twitter account; he has revealed more about himself to the world over time, including photographs and a podcast.
But his reticence to give out personal information is understandable when he’s being stalked. You’ll note I don’t give out my personal identifying information out on the Interwebs, either, not even pictures! Lots of bloggers and Tweeters use photograph avatars, but not me. Whenever people click on my own About Me sections, they find pictures I drew of fictional characters or myself when I was young–but never a photograph. And certainly no real names. There are creepy people out there on the Net, ya know.
The other day, I finally got a chance to listen to S’s podcast, which for me was the final proof, because there was his (male) voice and a real person (verified) interacting with him; he said on the podcast that she’s come to visit him a few times. Someone loosely connected to the reality show also claims to have met him.
The trolls tried to make him out to be some scary person who preys on others–but he’s actually very sweet. He certainly never preyed on me. The only people behaving in any kind of frightening manner, were the trolls.
While the trolls stalked me three years ago, one of them, M, sent me an e-mail which frightened and appalled me very much–especially since I had no idea she even knew about me or was watching my Twitter. She was now “against” the other trolls, even though she was still trolling and harassing S. I tried to find out more about her, and posted something on Twitter about what I found–and she sent me this message in my blog Feedback:
Hey I’m M that the “trolls” target on Twitter. By trolls I mean “S’s” trolls. To be fair, “S” a.k.a. JO targets me as well. I can briefly explain what’s going on from my perspective, I hope. FIRST of all, “S” and “L” are not real. Period. Both are played by JO. There’s many videos on YouTube that I’ve put up regarding this catfish scenario, and I use to run a blog about the catfish and her blog posts/twitter updates. It was all in fun. Until the trolls began to shame JO for being heavy and/or gay. I at that point began documenting their behavior and displaying it on my blog. Specifically their Twitter behaviors. I’ve been keeping an eye on the happenings of both JO and the trolls for months due to some legal stuff coming up. Believe me, once it’s over you’ll hear about to what I’m referring. Anyhow I noticed the trolls had also targeted you and it looks like recently you said they accused you of being me. You referenced me as unsavory? I am not cut of the same cloth as those trolls hence why I’m their target. I don’t care if you do or don’t believe “S” is real. It’s your life and that’s not my business. I’m not involved in this lame drama to educate anyone. I have no twitter account currently as I deleted mine almost a year ago. I just want you to know that people are documenting the “troll” behavior for a greater good and soon I imagine you will see exactly what I mean. I hope they leave you alone but be careful, they are not your normal trolls and will attempt to bleed the online drama into your real life.
Hm. This looks even more bizarre now, and M’s hints at coming “legal stuff” turned out to be nothing more than M trying to threaten and slap people with restraining orders. I could see in online court records that the restraining orders never really went anywhere.
Meanwhile, JO has nothing of consequence on her criminal record, certainly nothing connected to any kind of scam or predatory behavior, which would be amazing if she truly did all that she’s accused of by these trolls.
There was even a stunt where the trolls pretended M was dead, but she’s still alive–Either that, or Wisconsin now allows ghosts to vote with a valid ID. (Wisconsin makes voting records easy-peasy to check.)
The funny thing is that re-reading and posting M’s message still gave me the shakes 3 years later. Notice how she distances herself from the other trolls even though she was originally one of them–“Well, I am not like them!” I remember posting after this that I wanted no more contact from trolls. M had sent me several other messages with fake names, so it also scared me to see that SHE was the anonymous person I thought was a friend.
Another point that scared me was the end, that “they are not your normal trolls and will attempt to bleed the online drama into your real life.” This also went along with other scary things about the trolls that she had written in her anonymous messages to me. That made me even more frightened of the trolls at the time.
Shortly after this, another troll even posted this comment:
Nyssa I’m sorry that I have been targeting you to tell you S is a scammer. U are right he does exist. I’ll tell my twitter trolls to leave ya alone now.
Another troll said she was lying, but I kept the comment up to kind of rub it in the trolls’ faces. You can see it here.
Fortunately, that all died down for me, but they have a new target now, the person I mentioned above who was on the podcast with S. She knows S personally, but the trolls have been hounding her about him being a catfish. She validated me, making me feel like any normal person would be frightened of what they did–that I wasn’t just being hysterical. I can also help her now.
It’s good to have other people to talk to who know what it’s like. That helped me after the Richard/Tracy breakup at the beginning of this decade, talking to someone else they treated the same way: Todd. It validates your experiences and emotions, makes you feel like you’re normal and your abuser is the problem.
I didn’t post M’s e-mail before, probably because I was so frightened at the time. But now that S has proven himself to the world, I have more courage to pull out this bit of the story from where it had been hidden away for so long–and maybe, by doing so, I can heal myself. Also, I’m amazed to see that the three-year anniversary of this 💩 show is on Monday, so this can commemorate!
I’m turning off comments because the trolls may still come in here. After all, they still watch me sometimes, as I can see every time I post something on here about them.