Yet another reason why I love Carolyn Hax’s column! She understands that you can’t tell your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend who to be friends with, except in exceptional circumstances (ie, abuse, child porn, etc.). And even then, you ask, don’t demand. You just don’t have the right.
This is what I tried to explain once to Tracy. She thought she did have the right, and that your SO should “respect” your wishes. But no, that’s not it at all: That’s a desire for control, which manifested itself in other ways as well in her behavior toward her husband and others. I’m so passionate about this issue because I have seen firsthand how this kind of control ruins friendships and causes drama and hard feelings, where none were necessary. I hope that through my posts, others will be spared this.