A letter writer is quite upset that her boyfriend of two years still talks–all the time–with his ex-wife of 30 years. Even “put her foot down” over it, only to find he was still talking to the ex. Carolyn Hax’s response was not what she expected. For example:
But this is not up for debate: He has every right to this friendship. You can point out things that bother you, take offense at being lied to, and decide they’re too cozy and break up with him for it, but you can’t tell him who he can or can’t care about based on the way you think coupled people are supposed to behave.
The commenters “below the line” (whom Hax calls “nutterati”) also, for the most part, appear to agree with Hax, and consider the letter writer to be controlling, jealous, insecure, etc. They note that she’s trying to control a grown man.
And here’s another one in the same vein:
This girlfriend throws a hissy fit because her boyfriend accidentally called her by his ex’s name, and still has pictures of the ex on his Facebook. Then he didn’t grovel enough for her taste. The commenters then started calling her very immature, hoping she’s about 21 and will grow up soon.
One commenter says, “Impossible to care about a person who is so intent on keeping score. Her behavior is poison to any relationship. Assess the bigger picture, accept what is or don’t and move on. IMO anyone this insecure and high maintenance is just too exhausting to bother with.”
I can attest to that: Even if you’re not the significant other, but a friend of the SO, this can be so exhausting that you finally say screw it and leave.