bloggers being sued for defamation

Reblog: A Writer’s Guide to Defamation and Invasion of Privacy

Here is a good article from Writer’s Digest:

A Writer’s Guide to Defamation and Invasion of Privacy

From what I see here, it looks like all my i’s are dotted and t’s are crossed, legally.  There’s also the fact that my stalkers’ threats never turned into anything: Here it is a year later.  But it’s always good to get confirmation from an authority such as Writer’s Digest.

Also see:

Frequently Expressed Fears About Publishing a Memoir


A return to a peaceful spirit as my stalkers are defanged at last; also, glad to see my blog back!

Finally, my web host has finished whatever they were doing to protect us against botnet attacks, and my blog is back to normal functioning (I hope)!

But it was down for about a week, a long, frustrating week as my blog would go up and down, up and down.  I often had to turn off the redirect sending readers here from my old blog.

During uptimes, I installed better security and made adjustments, since you can’t rely on your host to protect you completely, especially on a free server.

I see from my security files that just in the last 24 hours, some bot from the Ukraine continuously tried to get into my blog’s dashboard for malicious purposes.  Apparently it would try, Wordfence would block it for a short time, then it would come back and try again.

But because of my security fixes, it could not come in.  😀  And now, because of Wordfence, I’ve blocked it permanently from trying again.

I have seen my stalkers trying to get in as well.  They are aware of this new blog, and have done searches for it which led them to my old blog, but not the new one.

I’ve seen them go to my old blog, but because the redirect for mobile phones was turned on, they got redirected here–and couldn’t get in.

I saw them try six times one evening to get in, when the mobile redirect was on, but they failed!

All they can ever see is the old blog, which is rarely updated now.  Now that my blog is back up and more stable again, the mobile redirect is back up, so they can’t get to the old or new blogs at all.

When the redirect is up, the only trace I can see of them is in Blogger’s stat page, when an Android browser is accompanied by a search term which I can recognize as theirs.  They do not show up in any other hit count trackers, because they are blocked.

I haven’t seen them back in a little more than a week, even though they had a long-established routine of checking in at least once a week, often twice or more–and several times a day when they discovered me trying to block them on my old blog a couple of months ago.

Strange how they won’t say a word to me otherwise, but will express their displeasure with me through their unwanted blog hits…..

Must be because they know I’ve been to the police about them already because of the e-mail they sent me, so they know I’m capable of doing so again.

This has been extremely helpful in restoring my broken spirit.  For almost a year I have feared what they may be planning next:

  • Will I get served with a lawsuit for telling the truth?
  • Will they send me another nasty message, threaten me, or assault me as Richard had once almost done to the person who evicted them?
  • Will they come to my church again on purpose to upset me and rub my nose in their lack of remorse for hurting and abusing me?

But none of this has happened.  No lawsuit.  No more nasty messages.  No assaults.  I haven’t even seen them at church since last August.  Their presence on my blog has been a constant irritant, but now I have successfully blocked them.

They are beginning to disappear from my life, even on the edges (ie, checking my blog), since I switched to and blocked them.  They are also beginning to disappear from my thoughts.  Not completely, but it is a huge step forward.

There is still the risk of seeing them more often eventually at church, if one of our parishes fails financially and our separate congregations begin blending.  I dearly hope that does not happen.

But for now, our two parishes remain open, and they are not directly in my life (just occasionally seen on the street).  My spirit is moving toward peace, toward calm.

I am working to accept that Richard was never the friend or the person he claimed to be, or he would never have let things get this way, that he must have been conning and using me.

I have become the webmaster for my church, and that has predominated my thoughts (and time) lately as I struggle to understand the content management system it uses.

My son just bought a couple of adorable spice finches who are very attached to each other.

Life is slowly but surely moving on.


Maybe this time the stalkers will stay away?

[Update 10/22/14: About six months ago, at least one of my stalkers began using a new device and connection.  I thought it was a new fan, until they gave themselves away, probably Richard.  He seemed particularly interested in this post for some reason.]

So the new blog has been up for several days now.  The old one is set up with an automatic redirect so my traffic transfers over here.

So there we have one point for me, because I don’t “lose” after all by “cutting and running” from the old Blogger blog to get away from my stalkers.

The redirect has been working quite well.  It doesn’t work so well on cell phones, unfortunately, but a message is posted stating that the blog has moved over here to Wordpress.

Point two for me is that Wordpress (the self-hosted kind) is far better than, with all sorts of options and control over your own blog (such as plugins).

It’s also far better than Blogger, where the only available block was third-party Javascripts that may or may not work.  Even if they do work, a person can still figure out how to defeat them.

But here, I can block users at the server level: supposedly a very powerful block, no stupid Javascripts.

Point three for me is that my stalkers have been stalking my old blog every day or every other day since I put up the new blog, yet they have not been seen over here.

They’re not getting redirected, since they use a cell phone.  The change of address is very clearly posted, and they must have seen it by now, yet away they stay.  Either they’re not bothering to come here, or the blockers are working fine.  If they do find a way around them again, I can easily block them again.

So basically, the beginning of Lent has been emotionally turbulent, as I face the hard reality that Richard just is not a good man, was never a good friend.

Come to think of it, he kept directly telling me that he’s not a good man, but I didn’t believe him.  I’d call him a good man and he’d say, “No, I’m not.”  I’d say he was a “teddy bear” and he’d say he was a grizzly bear.  He’d tell me the horrible things he’d done; maybe I just wanted to believe he’d changed.

Maybe he did think his friendship was genuine, but never really cared about me, just cared about how good my narcissistic supply made him feel.

I thought maybe he wanted to see if I was healing.  But when I tried to block them, when I posted that I wanted to pull the blog plug on them during Lent, cut off this last remaining contact with them, they began checking my blog several times a day! 

They took their cell phone all over town, using different connections, which you can do with Android phones.  Tracy even checked my blog from her college campus!  (Aren’t you supposed to focus on your studies?)

It proves that they don’t want me to recover from what they’ve done.  They want to keep me mired in the crap they flung at me!  They don’t want to let me go!

I’ve presented to them every bit of evidence (other than one e-mail/phone conversation which would lead to harm for the person who exchanged it with me).  I have proved my innocence and that their behavior to me was wrong.

If they still can’t see it, if they still justify what they did, it’s because they don’t want to see the truth.

And no amount of arguing and convincing can work with a person determined to excuse abuse; I have no desire to keep pounding my head against the wall.

Now I struggle, fighting down very human desires for revenge, focusing on justice instead.  I have always avoided revenge because revenge is evil.  Revenge means posting their names and calling in friends to help tear them apart.  That would be evil.

But justice is good.

Justice means that I keep up my blog, but without naming names.  My blog cannot possibly do them harm without names.  No one can Google their names and find this blog.  Employers cannot possibly find it and decide to deny them jobs.  It won’t hurt any businesses they might decide to start.

Justice means that if they decide to make my church their own, rather than staying at the one they like much better, then I must go to my priest for mediation

Justice means that if they send me another nastygram, I call the police (again), this time to press charges.

Justice would heal; revenge would cause me more harm than it would them.  Yet even my justice, they treat as if it were my revenge that must be stopped.

The TV series Once Upon a Time does an excellent job portraying narcissists/sociopaths/psychopaths.  For example, Regina has a heart, and is more narcissistic/sociopathic, while her mother, Cora, has no heart (literally) and is a psychopath.  Cora infected Regina with her evil; now Regina wants to infect Snow White with evil.

In the latest episode, Regina took out Snow’s heart (a magical ability which does not kill the person) and saw blackness forming in the middle of it, because Snow did an evil deed in order to kill Cora.  Regina cheered, gloating that pure-hearted Snow will now become like Regina–which means Regina will have won.

Not only does this reveal the heart of narcissists and sociopaths, but it demonstrates how easily good people can fall if we allow narcs to contaminate us with desires for revenge.  No, the best revenge is living well.

No, I’ve been steadily writing about this on my blog for about a year and a half.  From what I’ve seen of other abuse blogs, that’s normal.  Now I want to move on to other topics.  Still post about abuse/narcissism/bullying etc., since these things are important and people still need help.  But focus more on other things, getting back into the artistic side.

I have reviewed various websites and legal documents, and found absolutely no basis for their threats to sue for defamation, as you can read in Now I’m Being Stalked.  No, this blog is no more actionable than flame wars on forums.

I have also spoken to a policeman, the one who took my report about the e-mail in the above link.  He said that with changed names, I’m doing nothing illegal.  He also reassured me that they cannot sue me for talking to my priest about this.

Various abuse bloggers, themselves often threatened, have checked into this and found that they are safe from legal action as long as they do not name the person on their blog.

That message from my stalkers is so absurd–paranoid and delusional–as to be laughable.  My stalkers ranted and raged against imaginary threats which I never made: I have reviewed my posts again and again, and never once did I say I would name them publicly on my blog or try to push them out of their faith/community.  I only said (in a post written months before they found it) that I would go to my priest for mediation if they joined my parish.

You can’t sue a person for asking for help in a volatile matter between parishioners, and the policeman confirmed this.  But then, I have seen this again and again, Tracy imagining some slight or other offense, and then yelling and screaming at people for things they haven’t even done, while refusing to believe they haven’t done it.

I’ve already been to my priest for help in this matter, and I have not lied, whether to my priest or on these blogs.  Every time I look over what I’ve written, I find nothing but truth and opinion, which are both protected in this country.

So as much as I often wonder what they’re doing on my blog so obsessively, not letting up after 10 months!!!, if they do find some ambulance-chaser, the judge will throw it out of court as a frivolous lawsuit.  And Hubby will countersue for legal fees for wasting our time.

Now I can say what I want without worrying about what they think.

So far, so good.  The blog here is quiet.  I hope that I will soon be able to breathe more easily, and focus my efforts on my goal for Lent: transferring my rage and bitterness from my heart into the accounts I have already written.

I have already confronted my abusers; there is nothing more left to do.

Lent has just begun.  We have two services a week, in addition to Sunday services, for the first few weeks of Lent.  Easter (Pascha) is May 5.

[Update 4/18/15: Since that time, they switched Internet Service Providers and began stalking me with different IPs.  But their usual IP has been the same since September 2013, so I could block them at any time: I just choose not to.  Well, except now and then, when I want to mess with them. 

Nowadays, instead of bothering me, I find their antics on my blog highly amusing.  Such as in the above note from October 2014, describing when they came on from an unexpected place in April 2014, began obsessively and hilariously stalking my blog and probably raised its Google ranking, and then sent a little “guess who” in my blog stats. 

These antics also make me almost certain that they deliberately drove by me a second time back in January 2013 because they wanted to spook me.  (I know they know it was me, because I heard their little girl call my name when she first saw me.)  Because if they can do this, they can do that.  It fits their modus operandi.

These antics prove that they’re sociopaths beyond any lingering doubt.  “Normal” people don’t behave like that: They’d either try to make things right or go away eventually, not carry out a campaign of intimidation and obsessive blog-checking.  “Normal” people have better ways to spend their time than trying to terrorize people. 

This proves they’re sociopaths, and they do this because I’m one of several people who have seen through their mask and know what they really are.  I’ve seen before how Tracy can go after perceived enemies.

But they’re amusing sociopaths at least.  If you can laugh at them, their power over you is gone.]