The trolls, of course, got upset with my exposing their tweets to the world the other night, as was expected. I discovered a new (to me) troll account in my notifications the next day, with a whole bunch of scolding tweets. Instead of reading them, I blocked her (which made them all vanish) and reported her.
Just trying to choose five tweets while reporting her to Twitter Support was nerve-wracking. These people are monsters. If she thinks I’ll read all her book-long tweets to/about me, she’s deluded.
While glancing over and choosing the five tweets, I noted that these (and other) trolls complain about their “targets” asking for help reporting them. They remind me of Trump and his cries of “presidential harassment.”
Victims of Twitter bullying often find that Twitter Support is no help, so they need to ask their friends in an attempt to get Twitter to pay more attention. This is our survival mechanism–so of course the bullies try to turn it around on us, gaslight us, and project their own harassment onto us, for using the best means we have to get online justice.
Oh yeah, and then there’s the concern trolling I saw in those tweets. “She blocks us for telling her the truth!” No, I block you for being a bunch of bullies and a$$holes who can’t accept that other people can come to different conclusions than the ones you want them to…
And I block you for being creepy. Like, seriously creepy. Frickin’ stalkers who go digging for info on complete strangers.
One said to me yesterday, “We know everything about you,” and used my first name for her Twitter handle. These trolls have done this to me before–specifically “Darcy,” three years ago. It only confirms that they found my Facebook back then and were the ones sending me at least some of the weird friend requests coming in back during that time.
And yet–I never gave them my real name. I never connect it to my online handle. I don’t know how they got it.
Why bring these things to light? Why bring their wrath on my head every time I expose them for what they are? Because these trolls have hurt a LOT of people over the past five years; a few of the people hurt are my friends.
People who do their best to track you down and learn “everything about you” when you refuse to give them that information, are stalkers, and no one to give any sort of credibility to.
That’s the kind of people these trolls are: bullies, stalkers, bunny boilers, psychopaths, abusers. They’ve hurt countless people over the past 5 years with their harassment campaigns and refusal to allow people to come to their own conclusions.
This is what narcissists do to keep their victims under control. By refusing to play along, we thwart them and their schemes over their victims. By refusing to play along with the trolls, I become a threat to the triangulation campaign they have been running for years. And by keeping my own mind, I’ve watched their claims fall to pieces–same as with everyone else who’s tried to control me in the past.
These trolls keep trying to bring me down because I’m a threat to them. By standing up to them, I take their power away. And that makes them angry, so they have to find ways to make me feel frightened or small.
You know what? So what. The more abusers try to shut me up, the louder I say it. I proved this to Richard and Tracy eight years ago. The more these trolls try to scare and ridicule me, the more I speak out.
Lots of people have deleted tweets and closed accounts to get these trolls off their backs. I just keep blogging and tweeting. (From my grandpa’s eulogy, it runs in the family. I also have Scottish ancestry: They’re fighters.) Same thing on Facebook: Most comments are supportive, but I get laughs and snarks as well on my political posts. But that just makes me post more because our democracy is at stake and I’m trying to wake people up to it.
Several times over the past decade, I’ve written on here about a guy we encountered in the SCA 20 years ago. He was apparently sociopathic and caused a lot of trouble in our shire. Years later, he went to jail for taking naughty pics of an underage girl. He’s been in and out of court since. I summarized our whole history with him, what I learned afterwards, and a criminal case which hit legal websites and Youtube, here:
Take a minute to read that and you’ll know everything you need to keep up. I describe the weird language he used to protest that he’s not a citizen of the US (Inc) but of the US. Oh, and just as he finally resolved the case I describe in that post, guilty but time already served, he was busted–AGAIN–for violating the sex registry requirement. This time, though, he didn’t take as long, didn’t go through all those lawyers, and just went ahead and pled no contest. That was finally resolved last week.
“i man known as (Muhammed-Kabeer Gbaja-Biamila) am in the state of ‘man’ now: past: forthwith,” the handwritten note filed with the Brown County Clerk of Court reads in part. “Not a Defendant: Respondant all benefits: maybe: waived by i.”
If you were the judge in the former Packers player’s divorce proceeding and received that note, you might be more than a little puzzled about what you were being asked to do.
But the peculiar language that Gbaja-Biamila and his associates have been using to baffle the Brown County court system and confuse the public in recent months is straight out of the “sovereign citizen” playbook born out of the white supremacist movement of the 1960s and 1970s, according to an expert in the subject.
The language is a variation of the “sovereign citizen” movement, started 50 years ago by extremist groups like the Posse Comitatus, said Mark Pitcavage, a senior research fellow with the Anti-Defamation League’s Center on Extremism who has been studying the movement for 25 years.
At its core, the language is intended to deny the authority of police and courts, which proponents of the sovereign-citizen movement say have no jurisdiction over victim-less crimes and civil matters.
The movement started as anti-government ideology by white supremacists and anti-Semites in the United States in the late 1960s, Pitcavage said. Through natural attrition, those people began to die off, but the movement continued to expand across racial and ethnic boundaries and spread overseas, to other English-speaking countries.
…Proponents claim the U.S. government secretly enslaves its citizens by establishing them from birth as corporations rather than private individuals, by putting their names in all capital letters on legal documents — everything from birth certificates to driver’s licenses.
…Gbaja-Biamila told the Green Bay Press-Gazette recently that admitting to being a “person” rather than a “man” is to accept the state’s illegitimate authority. And like the sovereign citizens that Pitcavage talks about, Gbaja-Biamila believes police, prosecutors and judges have no business charging people with victim-less crimes.
…“Sovereigns believe that if they can find just the right combination of words, punctuation, paper ink color and timing, they can have anything they want — freedom from taxes, unlimited wealth, and life without licenses, fees or laws, are all just a few strangely worded documents away. It’s the modern-day equivalent of ‘abracadabra,’” the law center wrote in an article on its website.
The weird “i man” language is a new variant; the basic point is using language to make it sound like you’re not subject to the courts, and rejecting legal documents. This all sounded familiar, so I went back to the bizarre document written by the guy I knew 20 years ago–let’s call him “J.”
Especially at the beginning and the end of J’s document, you can see the sovereign-citizen-style language. I recall reading in the newspaper back around 2010 that J doesn’t have any documentation, despite being born a US citizen, and that’s on purpose to relinquish the control of the state over him. It also made it difficult for the police to figure out who he was (he has a bunch of aliases). I wanted to pull that up for you, but it looks like old articles have been purged.
Scott Walker used his position as Wisconsin Governor to cover up acts of domestic terrorism, while criminally violating the due process and other rights of [J], effectively denying [J] his First Amendment guarantee to “redress of grievances” and access to various state and federal courts, to a jury trial, and litigation of the merits of [J]’s criminal RICO claims.
Writing in American Scientific Affiliation, Dennis L. Feucht reviewed American Militias: Rebellion, Racism & Religion by Richard Abanes, and described the theory of Richard McDonald, a sovereign-citizen leader, which is that there are two classes of citizens in America: the “original citizens of the states” (or “States citizens”) and “U.S. citizens”. McDonald asserts that U.S. citizens or “Fourteenth Amendment”
citizens have civil rights, legislated to give the freed black slaves after the Civil War rights comparable to the unalienable constitutional rights of white state citizens. The benefits of U.S. citizenship are received by consent in exchange for freedom. State citizens consequently take steps to revoke and rescind their U.S. citizenship and reassert their de jure common-law state citizen status. This involves removing one’s self from federal jurisdiction and relinquishing any evidence of consent to U.S. citizenship, such as a Social Security number, driver’s license, car registration, use of ZIP codes, marriage license, voter registration, and birth certificate. Also included is refusal to pay state and federal income taxes because citizens not under U.S. jurisdiction are not required to pay them. Only residents (resident aliens) of the states, not its citizens, are income-taxable, state citizens argue. And as a state citizen landowner, one can bring forward the original land patent and file it with the county for absolute or allodial property rights. Such allodial ownership is held “without recognizing any superior to whom any duty is due on account thereof” (Black’s Law Dictionary). Superiors include those who levy property taxes or who hold mortgages or liens against the property.
In support of his theories, McDonald has established State Citizen Service Centers around the United States as well as a related web presence.
Writer Richard Abanes asserts that sovereign citizens fail to sufficiently examine the context of the case laws they cite, and ignore adverse evidence, such as Federalist No. 15, where Alexander Hamilton expressed the view that the Constitution placed everyone personally under federal authority.
Some sovereign citizens also claim that they can become immune to most or all laws of the United States by renouncing their citizenship, a process they refer to as “expatriation”, which involves filing or delivering a nonlegal document claiming to renounce citizenship in a “federal corporation” and declaring only to be a citizen of the state in which they reside, to any county clerk’s office that can be convinced to accept it
It all sounds like not only is Gbaja-Biamila part of this sovereign citizen movement, but my husband’s old “nemesis” J is as well. It’s all frickin’ nuts! People wonder if G-B was knocked in the head too many times (he used to play for the Packers); I wonder the same about J….
As I watched the opening statements yesterday for both Ford and Kavanaugh, I paid close attention to their body language and demeanor. Because yeah, I may have trouble with such things, but I’ve been studying narcissism/sociopathy for years now, and how to spot a predator or an abuser claiming to be the victim.
Ford was timid, terrified, quiet, on the verge of tears. Like someone who has been attacked and traumatized and is scared of it happening again. Even Fox News commentators and even Trump are saying she seems credible.
Kavanaugh, on the other hand, was on the attack: loud, raging, gesticulating, snarling. Complaining about how this affects him–but never a thought to how it has been affecting Ford. Instead of welcoming a full investigation, he evades the question, and derides the whole fact-finding process–a process which, if he’s innocent, should exonerate him. Cold, dead eyes and a terrifying snarl.
Images of Kavanaugh are subject to copyright, and I don’t have $300 to pay for the rights to use one, so I don’t have images of him to clip and paste here. So click on these links instead:
Kavanaugh’s snarls are not the face of an innocent man defending himself/his family from attack. They are the face of a predator whose prey has just exposed him.
My post on DARVO has been getting a lot of hits the past couple of days, especially after it was shared by somebody on Facebook. It quotes Jennifer J. Freyd, who writes,
“It is important to distinguish types of denial, for an innocent person will probably deny a false accusation. Thus denial is not evidence of guilt. However, I propose that a certain kind of indignant self-righteousness, and overly stated denial, may in fact relate to guilt.
I hypothesize that if an accusation is true, and the accused person is abusive, the denial is more indignant, self-righteous and manipulative, as compared with denial in other cases.
Similarly, I have observed that actual abusers threaten, bully and make a nightmare for anyone who holds them accountable or asks them to change their abusive behavior.
DARVO means deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender. It was done to me by Richard and Tracy in their e-mail here. It was done to me by my abusive ex Phil. It has been done countless times throughout the ages to victims by abusers and sexual criminals. This frightening power play keeps countless victims from seeking help, as well, because they are terrified of what will happen to them.
One of the excuses used to not believe and to attack Kavanaugh’s accusers is that they didn’t say anything before. That there should have been a police report if it really happened. But girls and women who are victims of sexual assault or harassment are often too terrified to tell anyone.
If you want to know why they’re so scared, just look at accusations made against Ford:
“She shouldn’t have been at a drinking party.”
“She was going around in a bathing suit.” (1, it was one-piece, 2, a bathing suit or bikini does not mean “rape me,” and 3, it was covered by her clothes.)
“Why was she in that room?” (She just wanted to go to the bathroom, but got pulled into a bedroom.)
“Look how long she took to tell! She’s just doing this for political reasons.”
She’s being blamed. She’s being accused of lying.
Just like happens countless times when victims do speak up. So often, we just stay quiet.
I never told my parents anything that happened to me in school, either. My mom didn’t know that I stopped wearing dresses to school because a couple of boys lifted up my skirt and laughed one day. My parents didn’t know that my high school ulcer and TMJ came from boys sexually harassing me in class and in the cafeteria. They thought that going to classes about stress relief would help.
They didn’t know that–similar to what happened to another accuser, Ramirez–one of the boys pulled out his penis and put it next to me on the table as I ate my lunch, that I think I felt it brush my hand, though I refused to look at it, that the other boys laughed.
They didn’t know how one time, in the line to leave the cafeteria, the boys were harassing me so badly that I crumpled up against the wall to try to protect myself. I don’t even remember what they did or said.
I also didn’t tell teachers about this. I was too shy, too terrified of strangers in general, even though my friends were witnesses and told me to tell.
(That’s why friends should do the telling and not leave it to the traumatized victims.)
My parents didn’t know that my ex Phil tried to force me into anal sex, making me feel raped at least once, or that he forced me into oral sex when he hadn’t even bathed. And no, I never reported it.
No, I don’t remember every detail. I don’t remember who the boys were in high school, or what all they did or said. But I remember it happened.
And I do remember exactly which teacher ridiculed and sexually harassed me in class. There were witnesses. But I never even thought to tell the principal. I just switched classes the following semester.
As for Phil, I told a few friends some of what happened. I don’t remember telling them everything.
I told his new girlfriend, Persephone, about it. I hoped she would be appalled that her boyfriend would rape a girl. Instead, her dismissive reply seemed to suggest that if I were telling the truth, and weren’t just being hysterical or hyperbolic, maybe even looking for attention, that I would report it to the police.
But I was too terrified to tell the police. There was no physical evidence, so how could I prove it, for one. (And this is often the case.)
For another, I didn’t know if a rape charge would hold up in court since I had agreed to have sex–I just had not agreed to have anal or oral sex. I also didn’t want my parents to know we had had sex, because they were fundamentalists who didn’t know about our spiritual marriage, and were definitely against me having sex before marriage. Even when your parents are not abusive, a combination of old-fashioned ideas and parental disappointment can be frightening.
Another reason to stay quiet is hearing “Get over it already!” I’ve been seeing a lot of this in reactions to Kavanaugh’s accusers, when even WOMEN have been saying, “It was 36 years ago! It was just a touch! How can she not have moved on?” or “All teenage boys grope! Who cares? It’s not a big deal!”
(You don’t forget. You don’t move on.)
I had my own version of this a year after Richard’s friends sexually harassed me in a chat room. He saw the whole thing, and how vile their words and behavior actually were. Yet his wife treated it like it was nothing at all, and then Richard tried to mansplain me into believing that I was being “ridiculous” for still being upset over it (and over his continued friendship with these people) a year later. He said it “wasn’t real” and he thought I understood that.
The only one being “ridiculous” here was Richard.
The Kavanaugh hearings are triggering for many of us because we see our own traumas being relived in the accusers, our own fears realized as the accusers are treated just as we were, or as we feared we would be treated if we spoke up.
We see nothing changed, even after decades of feminism and then the #MeToo movement.
We see men treating the hearings as a charade, even going into self-righteous tirades about it: not just Kavanaugh, but Lindsey Graham as well–who seems to have conveniently forgotten how Merrick Garland’s appointment was blocked by the Republicans.
And there was absolutely no legitimate reason to block Garland, while Kavanaugh’s temperament and character have already been proven to be narcissistic and dangerous.
Because yes, what we saw in Kavanaugh yesterday is known as narcissistic rage. This happens when a narcissist or sociopath is called out on their crimes.
As a person with NVLD (similar to Asperger’s in many ways), I have trouble reading body language, which left me vulnerable to a couple who I believe to both be narcissistic sociopaths (story here).
Because I was so vulnerable, I didn’t understand why my wonderful, sweet best friend would turn on me so suddenly and betray me (and, with his wife, begin stalking me later), leading to a long, drawn-out, painful process of healing and recovery.
Over the years, a part of me has held onto the hope that one day, he’ll repent and come to my husband and me, looking for forgiveness and renewed relationship.
This despite the fact that he strangled and asphyxiated one of his kids shortly after we broke off relations with him and his wife. The little girl reported him to the police and he was convicted.
Now his wife, I knew early on that she was a danger, which is why I resisted her attempts to force me into a close friendship with her. (Normally it’s easy for me to befriend the spouses of my friends.) Over time I finally got a word for the danger: narcissistic sociopath. One day, I even saw her sociopathic smile of glee when an enemy (who, by the way, used to be a friend) had done something terrible.
But him? A sociopath? The more I learned about narcissists, the more I could believe he was one, but I thought he was one of the lower-level narcissists, incredibly self-centered but not out to actually hurt anyone.
But it seems I was wrong. When he choked his kid, the newspaper published his mug shot on its website. There was no remorse in that face, just anger, even contempt. A couple of years later, I got a disturbing e-mail from these people which said I “don’t have all the facts”–which made me wonder, What the heck kind of fact can excuse that you choked your kid in a fit of pique because she wasn’t cleaning up?
Just as I did with the first mug shot, I studied the new mug shots, trying to identify the expression on his face, a difficult thing with NVLD. I can get common expressions just fine, but the more subtle ones are harder to catch and understand. I used websites on facial expression and was pretty sure it was contempt. I also saw posts on sociopathic smiles, but when they’re just words or just a couple of pictures, it can be harder to be sure if that’s what you saw.
Then Lucky Otter published a blog post with both descriptions and lots of pictures of various forms of the sociopathic smile. For example:
Jack Brown, MD, is a physician who is an expert in reading body language and facial expressions. He said there is a particular expression that sociopaths and malignant narcissists use much more frequently than normal people: what he calls the Elevated Central Forehead Contraction with a Partial (Insincere) Mouth Smile. It’s a closed mouth, fake smile with the eyebrows drawn together as if the person is frowning. It’s similar to a smirk, but not quite. The overall effect is mocking condescension and cruel contempt. Brown says this expression is used often by serial killers, mass murderers, hardened criminals, and by everyday bullies and other people who lack empathy.
I highly recommend reading the whole post, of course; this little snippet doesn’t do it justice. Anyway, thanks to this post, I pulled out the mug shots again, this time showing one to Lucky Otter.
Her verdict? Sociopath–complete with subtle smirk and dead eyes.
Dang, I was so fooled by this guy. Even to this day, I’ll think back to things that happened and think he’s not so bad, deep down, and just needs to repent and things will be fine. I’ll think he just needs to get out of the sociopathic control of his abusive wife, and the real Richard will come back out again. Heck, he wanted to be a priest!
…Er, yeah. He can’t be now, because of the choking incident. Think of the bullet that the Orthodox Church dodged here.
Especially with this couple *still* stalking my blog all these years later (a bunch of times just in the past couple of weeks), and now with a new group of sociopathic/psychopathic/abusive trolls stalking me here and on Twitter, sometimes I wonder if I should just remove everything I ever wrote about this couple and other abuse stories as well. You know, for protection against whatever these creeps might be contemplating.
But then I think, No, people NEED these stories. Victims and potential victims NEED to know what narcissists/sociopaths/psychopaths/other abusers are capable of, so they can protect themselves from future abuse, and heal from the past.
And that means putting my own story on the Web, dirt and all, without trying to sanitize it like some people might. Saying “I never did anything at all wrong when dealing with my abuser” will not help you or other victims learn how to protect themselves. And there may be times where I don’t recognize what I did wrong, but other people will, and that can help them figure out what to do in their own situations.
So yeah, I don’t post this stuff just to help myself feel better. I also post it to help others, because this problem is rampant in today’s society. And check out Lucky Otter’s post to help you spot these people before they rip out your heart.
Comments are turned off because this is a reblog–and because I’m still being watched by these people.
(By the way, I hear that my old friend Catherine is dealing with a “friend” living in her place and giving her much the same trouble my old “boarders” gave me. Not moving out, complaining about everything, blaming you for everything, then getting all cutesy to manipulate you into letting them stay. Dang, that sounds familiar. Hubby, who just told me all about it, says people like this prey on people like Catherine and me, who are nice and sweet etc. He was just telling me all about Catherine’s “boarder.”)
Now for the sociopath I googled.
I’ve mentioned this guy on my blog before. Almost 20 years ago now ( wait–what? ? ) , a guy came to my SCA shire (medieval re-enactment; a shire is a local group) and immediately began turning it upside-down.
First he made an entrance which I consider attention-seeking: He came to a Halloween event with a mask, so we’d wonder who he was. Nobody else wore masks. His girlfriend, one of our members, helped out by saying, “Who is it?”
Finally, after intriguing us all, making us wonder if he was some famous personage, he took off the mask–and was nobody anybody knew. Shortly afterward, he began to insult the religious beliefs of my husband and me.
This became a pattern for him at subsequent SCA events, insulting Christians, getting up on his soapbox and railing against them. I wanted to go to events to have fun, not to hear how my religion is evil and must be vanquished. It was very stressful.
Then he took over the shire’s brand-new website and turned it into a platform promoting his own religious beliefs, leading to a link on his own site which said he was on a campaign to stamp out Christianity. Now, religion in the context of medieval times would have been fine, but a shire website is not supposed to be about promoting anybody’s religion or giving instructions on how to astral-project.
Some people complained; my husband, the president of the group at the time, was the go-between and tried to resolve things peacefully. He asked the guy to remove the stuff promoting religion without historical medieval context, and make some aesthetic changes because the site was a resource hog that took forever to load. (Lots and lots of pictures, many animated, ON ONE PAGE, in the days of dial-up and HTML.)
This guy turned it into a huge conspiracy against him. He made himself into a martyr, posted our e-mails online without proper context (such as phone calls which tried to resolve things peacefully), posted his e-mails as “proof” of what we allegedly “did” even though his e-mails twisted everything in their details, left out Hubby’s initial e-mail which was very diplomatic, brought in everybody he knew to support him, e-mailed other shires to badmouth us, tried to involve kingdom officials, and turned us into the Evil Oppressors of the Innocent Him. And yes, he used everybody’s full, real names or SCA names. Months later, one of our members got an e-mail from a stranger saying how horrible my husband and a few others were, because of what he read on the site, which was still up.
Finally he left the group. We got a new webmaster, who made the site into a simple, informative website with meeting and event schedules, member bios, that sort of thing. It also loaded a lot faster.
The kingdom–our local regional group–put out a webmaster’s guide which specifically prohibited every single thing this guy did. It said the sites were not to be used to promote religions, not to be used as a soapbox, etc. etc.
But then we got mailbombed with about 100 e-mails labeled “karma.” I strongly suspect this guy did it–especially since I later learned that he uses the term “karma” when punishing those he thinks have oppressed him.
He also came to a shire event brandishing a real sword, not fake ones like you’re supposed to have in the SCA, violating rules and creating a safety hazard. Hubby felt he did this to goad Hubby into responding, because Hubby was sitting troll (ie, taking entrance fees and having people sign the customary waivers).
“Jenny’s Story” in my collection The Lighthouse was partially inspired by this whole thing. I put this guy’s words into the mouth of Scott, the accuser of Jenny. It was my way to deal with the anger over what he did to my husband and others in the shire.
I don’t want to make this a big, long post, but there’s much to sum up. Over the years, every now and then–like maybe every five years or so–I wonder what the dude’s been up to, and start googling. I keep coming up with some freaky stuff, like:
He claims to be the creator of several Atari games, which he claims intellectual rights to, and that Atari screwed him.
He likes to create computer viruses/trojans to avenge various perceived wrongs done against him or others. He created one such trojan to punish Charter, the cable company. Another was used against a bank.
He was busted for shooting naughty pictures of a 15-year-old, and now has to register as a sex offender.
He moved around a bit after leaving our shire, but eventually settled in a city in the next county where the shire is based. (No, it’s not Fond du Lac or this county, thank goodness!) I found an entire web forum in that city devoted to hating on him back around 2009. I found all sorts of threads about his criminal history and complaining about him.
Over the years, I have gotten a strong picture of a guy who is severely mentally disturbed, probably a narcissistic sociopath. Someone who must have attention, martyr complex, paranoia, that sort of thing. Must be grandiose, must be the subject of some conspiracy, must avenge all wrongs like he’s Don Quixote. Even the name he chose for the SCA was Lightbringer, like he’s a Messiah.
You can find this type in the writings of Sam Vaknin.
Well, tonight I went looking again, to see if yet another criminal case has been taken out against him. Every once in a while, state court records show that he’s been arrested for something again, usually for violating the requirements of the sex registry. And he always complains about being treated unfairly in one way or another.
Sure enough, he’s currently in such a case, updated just a few days ago. A little googling revealed that he has turned this court case into part of a grand conspiracy against him, involving an allegedly corrupt local police force and even our state governor Scott Walker. There are videos about this on Youtube. It’s a featured case on a website called Leagle.
I even found his petition for writ of habeas corpus demanding a “federal criminal grand jury investigation.” It has some weird garbledygook about not being a citizen of the US (Inc) but of the US, therefore not subject to the US (Inc).
He calls himself a Reverend now. He’s talking about murder threats, false imprisonment, that the local police are out to get him and he didn’t really commit a crime with the 15-year-old, government conspiracy….
Oh yeah, and the court records for the current case reveal the state questioned his competence to stand trial.
So, a guy with a history of grandiosity, a martyr complex and sociopathy is claiming that he’s the target of a vast conspiracy and didn’t REALLY take naughty pictures of a 15-year-old. (I’ve seen the website he ran around the time he was arrested for that charge, and its pictures of teenage girls, so I can believe he really did take naughty pics.)
And I recall how he turned my husband and several shire members into a kind of Evil Coalition against him, when they just wanted him to make the website into a simple, informative site which loads in less than 10 minutes and doesn’t hide page links. (Seriously, the page links were invisible unless you knew to look for them. This was 1999, when most people didn’t yet know a picture could also be a link.)
Yeah, I’m having a REALLY hard time believing that anything he says is for reals. I think he wants his life to be a Hollywood movie.
No, I won’t name the guy on my website. But I thought it was an amusing example of the kind of sociopathy you may come across. And an example of why we should be careful not to believe just anything we read on the Net.
[Update 6-29-18: He STILL has not gone to trial, having changed his attorney several times. See here.]
Just read an article in the paper (though, of course, the online version is much longer) called Trump and the “I’ll Sue You” Effect. It goes into Trump’s history of making threats to sue for defamation, few of which have actually gone anywhere. While some people have been intimidated into backing down, some have not.
It’s yet more proof that Trump is just a thin-skinned, big bully, dishing it out but not able to take it himself. He’ll call people losers and rip on their looks and their personal habits like a schoolyard bully, but if you fight back with comments about him being a bully etc., he goes into a conniption fit.
In fact, I’ve known people like this. I’ve even gotten a threat of a lawsuit, but I refused to back down, and it never materialized. As Bill Maher said about Trump,
“Plainly, the guy uses lawsuits as a tool of intimidation and doesn’t care how much he clogs the courts with nonsense.”
The article goes on to state:
“Donald Trump has repeatedly attempted to silence his critics over the years through frivolous lawsuits,” said Mascagni, citing Makaeff’s winning claim as one example. “If you really examine some of these cases, it becomes pretty obvious that Trump didn’t file these suits to seek justice. Rather, he filed them to intimidate, harass and silence his critics.”
This is a common tactic used by abusers and narcissists. I’ve seen all sorts of abuse bloggers claim to have been threatened with lawsuits or even sued.
As for Trump as president–Are you ready for World War III–but with us as the aggressor this time?
Not that Hillary is much better. Recent revelations have even liberal Democrats getting upset and saying, “Hillary lied!” I have a little hope that, because of this, she’ll drop out and let Bernie take over.
Otherwise, get ready for President Johnson. Or President Stein. This race may actually make a third-party president conceivable.
I’ve been revising old posts and putting them on my front page for a time, so more people can see them–and so I can take care of formatting issues in an orderly manner. This website has nearly 1000 posts and pages. 😮
While revising this one to sticky-post last night, I found a note:
[Update 10/22/14: About six months ago, at least one of my stalkers began using a new device and connection. I thought it was a new fan, until they gave themselves away, probably Richard. He seemed particularly interested in this post for some reason.]
As I revised the post and thought about that weeks-long obsessive stalking campaign a year ago, I began adding the following as an update–which seems like it should also be a new post as well, about how to deal with blog stalking sociopaths:
Since the time described in this post, when I moved to Wordpress.org and could now block them effectively, Richard and Tracy switched Internet Service Providers and began stalking my blog with different IPs.
(For people who don’t know what that is, IPs are your computer’s “address.” Some are temporary, some are fixed. They are easily obtained by many website hit trackers, and can also be blocked when you have access to your website’s root files.)
They occasionally use somebody else’s IP, whether belonging to a business wi-fi or to a friend. Once, the IP belonged to a hotel. They hook up their smartphone(s) to an Internet connection, or use their wireless plan.
But their usual IP has been the same since September 2013, so I could block them at any time: I just choose not to. Well, except now and then, when I want to mess with them.
Nowadays, instead of bothering me, I find their antics on my blog highly amusing. Such as in the above note from October 2014, describing when they came on from an unexpected place in April 2014, began obsessively and hilariously stalking my blog and probably raised its Google ranking, and then sent a little “guess who” in my blog stats.
They knew I would catch their little message. When I called out these obsessive little buggers, they made a PDF copy of that post. This stalking campaign went on for hours a day for weeks, making me wonder where they found the time.
They searched my blog for posts on stalking, for hours at a time. I even took their search terms and made new post categories out of them. 🙂 (You can see a few of them at the bottom of this post.)
I describe this all here. And in that post, I also wrote,
Ah, Richard or Tracy, I will block and unblock you at will, because it’s fun.
But don’t think I fear you anymore.
On the contrary, this is highly entertaining. Bring it on.
That particular stalking campaign stopped abruptly after they read that. I guess they wanted me to be scared by it, not amused. LOL
These antics also make me almost certain that they deliberately drove by me a second time back in January 2013 because they wanted to spook me. (I know they know it was me, because I heard their little girl call my name when she first saw me.) Because if they can do this, they can do that. It fits their modus operandi.
These antics prove that they’re sociopaths beyond any lingering doubt. “Normal” people don’t behave like that: They’d either try to make things right or go away eventually, not carry out a campaign of intimidation and obsessive blog-checking. “Normal” people have better ways to spend their time than trying to terrorize people.
(Well, okay, Richie on The Slap did that to Hector. But he’s a teenager who mistakenly thought Hector raped his BFF, and it only went on for a short time, leading to Richie’s repentance. Oh, yeah, and he’s also a fictional character. 😉 He’s not a real-life 42-year-old with a family, who claims to be a Christian.)
This really is a terrible example to set for one’s children.
I’ve also encountered other sociopaths before them. One, the webmaster of a group we belonged to, e-mailbombed and carried out a smear campaign against my husband for daring to say, “Hey, you need to make some changes to the website.”
And no, neither of these sociopaths ever admitted to wrongdoing, as they terrorized others. I don’t know what ever happened to the Avenger, but the old webmaster eventually ended up in jail at least two or three times–and on the sex offender registry.
These antics prove Richard and Tracy are sociopaths, and they do this because I’m one of several people who have seen through their masks and know what they really are. I’ve seen before how Tracy can go after perceived enemies, how ruthless she is, even as the target protests his or her innocence–especially if the target tries to tell.
But they’re amusing sociopaths at least. If you can laugh at sociopaths, their power over you is gone.
[Update 4/4/15: And now somebody read “Stalked” (whole page) and “Running,” and subscribed to my blog. 🙂 )
My blog just contains diary posts, not the “expert” advice of life coaches or psychiatrists. These detail my struggles and the lessons I learn from them.
Yet so many people are connecting with various posts, whether on narcissism or abuse, that I continually see yet another Facebook share in Statcounter, or a reblog.
It felt so risky to post on these subjects–especially when my two recent abusers discovered them and began stalking me for it. It felt risky to continue posting even as they watched my blog every week–sometimes more often–to intimidate me into silence.
I didn’t know if they were laughing, if they were looking for a reason to sue, or what they wanted.
It was risky, intimidating, frightening, foolhardy.
But I did it anyway, to prove to myself that I wasn’t just some weak-willed, easily-dominated target of bullies.
And over time, my blog has grown. My site currently averages 148 views a day and is maybe two months away from 100,000 views. Others have found comfort and lessons in my posts. Comments are often turned off, but I see it in repeat visitors, likes, printing my posts, subscriptions, and online shares.
It is particularly comforting to see this in the past week, right after I revised the formatting for the “Stalked” posts and sticky-posted a few of them on my front page for a bit. Part 2 includes the sociopathic e-mail.
It is comforting to see others read Part 2 or “Running,” because they, too, see this e-mail for themselves. They then read my response, and find something of value in it for their own struggles with abusers. I see people click on the link that prints the post.
Just as it was comforting to share that e-mail with the members of the Forum, and know they understand and believe me. And now, in the past month, new members of the Forum have gone through the 3-year-old threads, read the e-mail and empathized with me, then asked me if things were resolved, and if Richard was properly punished, because child abuse is disgusting.
Just writing these blog posts, and including the sociopathic e-mail from my abusers, was emotionally taxing, because the e-mail meant to rip me apart.
It made me practically catatonic when it first came in. I was appalled and devastated to discover just how evil both Richard and Tracy truly are, to send such an e-mail and to even plan to stalk me at church! To call themselves Christians, and then behave in such a manner–!!!!
The e-mail is so horrid (and proves me correct even while objecting to making Tracy out to be a “horrible person”) that I could not even open the original “Stalked” post again for two years.
The same as other e-mails sent by Tracy back in July and August 2010, which I kept as evidence, but have not even peeked at in five years.
Tracy’s style of writing would be familiar to many of you: the kind that tears you apart and makes you afraid to even open an e-mail from your abuser.
(Obviously, Tracy does not feel this way when reading my blog, since she reads here so often.)
When I read Oscar Wilde’s account of Bosie’s telegrams and letters in De Profundis, I realized that Bosie and his father were male Tracys.
Bosie and his father both had a raging dysfunction which Wilde said ran in the family, so it must have been some sort of Cluster B personality disorder.
From what I know of Tracy, abuse, narcissism, borderline personality disorder, and Bosie’s family, writing such horrid letters appears to be a common trait among abusers.
There is absolutely no concern for nor respect for the recipient, but rather a desire to make him or her feel smaller than a dust mite, to make her feel like the slime on the wall of a sewer pipe.
And it makes no difference whether the recipient did anything to deserve this: No, all that matters to the abuser is that the abuser THINKS he did. Wilde would get such letters and telegrams from Bosie without rhyme nor reason to it.
So it was emotionally risky to open those posts again in order to revise them. But I did it anyway.
It is wonderful and healing to see that my pain in doing this, is helping others to heal.
It was worthwhile not only to share those blog posts and the e-mail, but to keep them up. Sometimes it takes a while, but others find them and use them to glean their own lessons. They find validation for their own struggles. They find a way to no longer care when their own abusers send them e-mails like mine sent me.
Then, sometimes, they share with others.
It’s all part of raising awareness and helping to heal abuse victims.
[Update 4/5/15:] Also, the more I see people subscribing to my blog and connecting with the posts that skewer my abusers’ sociopathic e-mail to me, the less and less power that sociopathic e-mail retains over me. I realize that my abusers have not been back at my church for two and a half years.
I realize that I feel mostly content these days, because I’m busy at church and Writer’s Club, and people in both places call me Friend. This helps remove any residual emotional attachment to Richard.
My abusers do not have the ability to sue, no legal leg to stand on, so their e-mail had only an emotional power to hurt me. Once I remove the emotional power, all their power to hurt me is gone.