Trolls, stalkers and threats: ten years of my blogging experiences

I’ve had this blog since January 2009, and it has seen a lot in that time.  I’ve also had a website since around 2005.  So for the tenth anniversary of the blog and fourteenth of the website (merged in 2014), let’s do a little summary of what has happened:

For 3 years, I mostly wrote book reviews; not much happened.  Around 2012, it started to get a bit of traffic because I started writing about narcissism, which was just getting popular as a blog subject.

  1. In May 2012, two of my abusers came to my blog after not looking at it for a couple of years.  They discovered I’d been writing about their abuses, accused me of lying, threatened me with a lawsuit–and also threatened to stalk me at church.  I knew I was telling the truth, and zero lies.  So I stood my ground, kept the blog up, and continued telling friends/family/church friends/priest what was happening, as I had been doing for two years already.  It has now been 7 years, and no lawsuit.  The statute of limitations has also long since run out.  These two abusers still read my blog, but none of their many threats ever came to pass.  I count this as a victory.  I’m not sure why they check my blog anymore, because these days they often spend maybe a minute on it, and that’s not enough time to read anything.
  2. In August 2016, after I had supported a particular blogger for four years–comments, sympathy, reading her novel, reblogging her–she threatened me with a lawsuit for *quoting* her with full attribution (well within my rights under copyright law regarding Fair Use).  I took the quotes down, but after this, I wanted nothing to do with her anyway, or with promoting her blog.  But the fear and trepidation over this had to succumb to real-life trouble because a couple of days later, I got the call that my dad was dying in a few days.  That was a very difficult month–but I got through it, and I warn others about this blogger.  She is very popular online, and has had many other victims as well.  Or rather, she was–I’m very relieved to see that her blog is now offline and apparently has been for a while now.  Maybe people can still find good things in her book to help them understand narcissists, but she encouraged people to stay “stuck” in the anger stage–even yelled at people who said we should try to heal eventually–and blamed people for being victims of narcissists if they didn’t fit a certain category.  This is all very harmful, so I’m glad to see her no longer running a blog where she victimizes people who come to her for help.  Meanwhile, my own blog and website are still up, and I encourage you to try to heal and move on after your anger has run its course.  You’ll be much happier than if you endlessly try to find ways to “get even.”
  3. In early 2017 and again in early 2018, this blog was inundated with hits from malicious and obsessive trolls who had been stalking another blogger for a couple of years.  He’d attracted a whole mob of them, who now started checking me out for talking to him.  I had only just gotten a Twitter account, which they used to find my blog, where they began leaving snarky comments and combing through my archives looking for who knew what.  I used the blog for therapy and wrote all sorts of things about my past, so I feared what these people planned to do with it.  Even when the mob abated, I was told they still stalked my blog and Twitter and talked about me in their little circle.  I occasionally saw evidence of that, myself.  But for many months now, they still stalk the blog and Twitter account of their original target but seem to be leaving me alone.

 

Meanwhile, I have learned a lot about blogging and running a website.  I have learned things that have helped in healing from the past.  I’ve been working on a new novel for nearly four years now, a new passion, along with defeating Trump and what has become of the GOP in the last several decades.  I have learned a lot about and/or changed my mind about a lot of things, from politics to religion to abuse to history…. This has all happened over the fourteen years of this blog/website, and you can find it all in the archives.

I have also been very active on Twitter, here.  I don’t write as much on the blog as I used to because Twitter is a good way to share retweets and keep my followers up-to-date without having to go through the trouble of writing a blog post for everything that’s on my mind.  I encourage you to follow it (unless you’re a troll).

 

 

 

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Why I don’t believe the trolls who latched onto me

This refers to the troll brigade who stalked me last year and, I’m told, still keeps an eye on me.  And yes, I’ve seen them in my stats again lately.  For background, see my previous posts here, here and here.

(They’ve come back here because their usual target has begun speaking about them to a guy who makes documentaries about stalkers, and I’ve been telling him about my experiences as well.)

Basically, because I made up my own mind about their usual target, they began stalking and harassing me to intimidate me into believing what THEY say I should believe.

I find their behavior to be very familiar, after years of studying narcissism, abuse, and various stories by bloggers.  It’s the behavior of bullies.  It’s the behavior of those who don’t want the truth of their own crimes to get out, so they tell everyone their victim is the real abuser.

It also fits with the mob mentality behavior found on many different forums: narc abuse, religious, political, social, etc. etc., where if you don’t agree with the group’s version of truth, you will be abused and maligned until you do.

The behavior I see from the trolls is NOT victim behavior.  It’s that of narcs/abusers trying to force others to believe their version of the truth which maligns their target.

This is why I don’t believe them.

If the trolls’ “truth” is true, then they can let the facts stand on their own.  Stalking and harassing is the behavior of someone who knows they’re wrong and is scared others will figure it out.

My narc ex-friends stalked ME because I told the truth, and tried to harass and intimidate me into retracting it.

It’s one thing to state your truth.  It’s quite another thing to intimidate people into believing it.  True victims have great courage when they dare to speak up; they don’t jeer at people who don’t believe, call them names, follow them around telling them to believe or else.

Narcissists and abusers–such as my ex-friends–will abuse you and then make fun of you for “fixating” on the abuse, say that you’re “not all there.”

But it’s one thing to deal with post-abuse trauma, for your thoughts to constantly replay the abuse, until you must get it out with words etc.  It’s quite another thing to obsess and harass, stalking your target for years on end, which these trolls (and my ex-friends) have been doing.

What is the truth about their usual target?  I’m not sure.  There are reasons not to believe him, but also reasons to believe him.  There are many reasons to give him the benefit of the doubt.  In any case, if I err, that’s my mistake to make–and nobody else’s to dictate.

Comments are turned off to discourage the trolls.

UPDATE: I have proof that he is who he says he is, so the trolls can pound rocks.

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So I’m still being stalked…..

Remember last year’s troll brigade?  The mass of stalkers who creeped onto my blog and began checking me out, watching my Twitter, and even found my Facebook even though I don’t use my real name on this blog?

I explain the story of where they came from here.  Basically, because I posted on the Twitter of their usual target, they came after ME.

Yeah, just for that.

Well, their usual target is a fellow blogger.  I don’t think I want to get into all the details here, but I thought they left me alone, only to find that they’ve been watching me all this time: my Facebook, Twitter and blog.

And even though they watch my Facebook, they still think I’m somebody else, ie one of their usual targets.  Which shows 1) how credible they really are, and 2) their lack of simple comprehension skills.

The other blogger has been targeted by them for three years, and even he was creeped out by what they’ve been up to with me.

And that’s why I don’t want to get into detail here: because they’re apparently still watching me, and I don’t want these creepy creeps “correcting” me in the comment section.  But the things I’ve learned–It’s enough to make me feel like the universe just shifted onto its ear today.

I’m not frightened this time around, more amused, but then, it is very creepy the things these creeps have gotten up to.  Such as finding my Facebook when I don’t connect my real name to my online handle.

In case they do creep in here, I’ll post a little meme just for them:

So I'm still being stalked..... 1

Meanwhile, my original blog stalkers, Richard and Tracy–There’s been no sign of them for four months.

UPDATE: I have proof that he is who he says he is, so the trolls can pound rocks.

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On cyber obsession

I seem to have lessened Thursday’s troll threat through a combination of blocking and a cease and desist notice.  But I’m left shaking my head at the whole thing.

Several days ago, I read a comment on a blog post about the trolls’ target, which made a lot of sense.  It said, basically, if you have so much evidence that this person is a scammer, then give that evidence to the police and be done with it.  Especially if they took your money or something like that.  If it was just that you thought you found love but they were a fake, then chalk it up as a learning experience and move on.  The commenter did not understand all the fuss over this person, the websites, the vitriol, the trolling.

I feel the same way about it.  If this person is truly a scammer, then give it to the police to sort out.  Don’t waste your time with setting up hate websites and constantly trolling a person.  If they are truly a scammer, then the police will press charges, and nobody else will fall victim.

Because that’s all I see here, a big waste of time.

Over the years, I have checked out a lot of blogs posted by victims of all sorts of things: various crimes, stalking, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, narcissism, gaslighting, etc. etc.

For the most part, the blogs are a journey from the initial hurt and pain and anger, on to a particular endpoint.  I say “endpoint” because oftentimes blogs end before they get to full acceptance and healing.  But there’s usually some point they get to.  Maybe they leave their abuser.  Maybe they write about the healing process.  But it’s all about venting and then recovery.

But I’ve also seen hate sites, which complain about abuse but seem to be written by narcissists.  They never get beyond the anger-phase, just sit and stew for years, maybe even contemptuous toward people who do want to heal or forgive.

They are full of potential libel, and probably the real name of the offender.  You can tell the site is meant to tear down that other person’s reputation, and make all readers hate the person as well.

I saw one such site which was so full of vicious personal attacks that I was not surprised to come back much later and find it gone.  Apparently the blogger was forced to remove it.

There is another blog–I have not actually seen it, but I’ve read about it from bloggers who have seen it.  Basically, its sole purpose was to rip on the guy who runs Harsh Reality.  It does not seem to have been taken seriously.

As for the trolls who have targeted me, I don’t understand their obsession, either.  As noted above, if they have evidence, give it to the police.  Or let the victims call the police.

That’s what the police are there for.  They also have access to resources we regular people don’t have.  They can sort out true from false, real victims from fake, true leads from people who just want a little fame and attention.  (There are actually people who say they did a crime or know something, when they have nothing to do with it whatsoever.)  They can get things moving in the legal system.

What’s up with the websites?  What’s up with spending all that time setting up hate sites, making fun of a person nonstop, stalking their Twitter nonstop, and bullying complete strangers into agreeing with them?

If someone sees your site and thinks you’re full of bullcocky, then cyberstalking them, sending them high-school mean-girl messages, screwing with them, and bullying them into agreeing with you–Okay, you have no clue how persuasion works.

I mean, come on, how am I supposed to take these people seriously?  If you have a case to make, then simply stating the facts in a mature and reasonable tone should convince people.  If it doesn’t, well then, that’s their opinion.  Move on.

But when you act like a group of children, most people are going to dismiss you as childish, along with any points you’re trying to make.  If you think you have to force and bully people into agreeing with you, then you must realize your case has not been made.

Now, I look at this particular case, the claim that one person is a scammer, with curiosity.  Sure, I’m interested.  Sure, I’ve spent time Googling the person.  I’m still curious, especially now that I’m getting cyberstalked over it.

But the reaction I’m getting from the trolls and a certain ex-troll is, quite frankly,

ridiculous.

And laughable, when you think about it.  The more I think about it, the more ludicrous it gets.

I mean, when you get down to it, I have my own opinion on the matter, but I could be wrong.  I accept that as a possibility.  If I am wrong, then the world is not going to shrivel up and die.  Heck, my own piece of the world is not going to fall apart.  I will not be personally affected.  And a huge chunk of me really doesn’t care one way or the other.  Most of the time, I don’t even think about it.  Then the alleged scammer posts something, I get a notification in my inbox, and I think, Oh yeah.

If I’m right, then hey, I can rejoice that I figured it out.  I can write about the effects that mob-bullying and cyber-bullying can have on a person, and what it must be like to be in the Kafka-esque position of insisting that you exist and are not a figment of somebody’s imagination.

If I turn out to be wrong, then what does it become for me?  It becomes an intriguing little example of how far twisted some people can be, how far they can take a scam.  And that is useful for both this blog and for my novel-writing.

But the trolls and the one who apparently is an ex-troll–I’m not sure because I don’t keep up with those reality show gossip sites, and I don’t read tabloids.  I don’t spend time in the comment sections of gossip sites, either.  I only did that last week to learn something about these people who are stalking me.  (Yeah, I’m being stalked by a group of strangers.  I never so much as spoke to these people online.)

It seems like a huge time-waste to me, full of haters and libel, no matter what the show.  People ripping on the clothes/hair/appearance of the people on the show.  People making up schoolyard epithets for the people on the show.

I’d much rather spend that time creating, reading and learning.  The most I usually do is spend some time in Facebook groups for my two favorite reality shows, and then only while the show is running new episodes.  Then I forget about it.

But I get the impression from the gossip blogs that these trolls are not actually victims of the alleged scammer.  Yet for some reason, they have all decided that it is so earth-shatteringly important that everybody in the world share their obsession, and agree with them that this person is a dangerous scammer, that they feel the dire, driving need to hunt down all dissidents and bully them into believing as well.

Now because of this, I’m getting disturbing messages through my blog: The ex-troll scolds me for not believing (even though I specifically wrote on my blog that I don’t know who’s telling the truth).  She says she doesn’t care, but the tone and words of her message make plain that she does.

The trolls behave like they have a collective age of 12: relentlessly stalking me and others, using Facebook to harass, sending me snarky messages.  Then one seems to extend a hand of repentance, but another turns snarky and derisive.  Okay, so this was all some high-school game by mean girls.  Ridiculous.

I was scared for a while, but now I’m starting to chuckle.  And snort.  I block them, knowing they’re just going to use proxies, but why make it easy for them?  I chuckle as I block another one.

And the derisive messages trying to make me feel like some kind of idiot, or shame me into compliance.

Yeah, doesn’t work.

Because I don’t care what these people think of me.  I shut off the computer and they vanish.

Because well, it really isn’t that big of a deal what I think about their scammer.  Just another curiosity in the reality show world.  It only really matters to the people directly involved.

But this whole thing becomes an odd little demonstration of just how obsessed some people can get.  It has been suggested that people get like this these days because they’ve spent so much of their lives in front of screens instead of interacting with people, that they don’t understand what’s appropriate.  They give into their ids instead of using courtesy and respect.

Except–Well, even my kid understands that trolling is wrong, despite his introversion and love for the computer.

As much as I want to open up the conversation to my readers, I have to shut down the comments.  Because you know the trolls are lurking, watching for anything about them.

Meanwhile, I have to get to bed because some of us actually have stuff we’ve gotta do.

 

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Reblog on the trolls

Remember the troll mob that came through here last month just because I *talked* to their usual target?  Well, their target has posted an update.  He and a friend have been working to get their accounts suspended on Twitter.  Thanks to the list he posted here, I just blocked a bunch more of them.  Seems they’ve been losing interest in him finally, and their number has dropped significantly as well.

I recently got a comment on one of my posts saying these trolls have been targeting several other people as well.  This person said they also use Facebook to harass.  I did get a couple of friend requests which I suspect were them, which shows disturbing stalker activity, because I keep my real-life name private online.

Sure they’ve been quiet, since I blocked their comments and reported a couple of them on Twitter.  But it still makes me feel squicky to think of them reading my blog and stalking my Twitter.  Anyway, here’s the update from their usual target:

Twitter just emailed me this list they have been working on with Lindsay for the past several months. As you can see a lot of accounts are no longer active or working. Most of them have been deleted by Twitter or by the user. And for some reason one of…

Source: 170 Trolls, One Dead? Huh?

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Twitter stopping trolls like the ones who targeted me last month

A month ago, I was targeted by a troll lynch mob even though I was not actually their usual target.

(You can read about it starting here; there are several posts on the subject in January’s archives.)

Their usual target, S, has been accused of being a catfish to a reality show star.  S claims he is NOT a catfish, and that he is a man who had an affair with the star, but she’s trying to cover it up.

All I wanted was his side of the story.  In trying to find out, I inadvertently brought down the troll mob on myself.  It was frightening because I did not know what they were capable of, but I did know they harass people just for talking to S, and that their harassment of S has been relentless for years now.

This group of trolls keeps getting blocked by S, and their accounts shut down by Twitter, but they keep making new accounts and harassing further.  I saw myself that when I blocked them from my blog, they’d use proxies to come in.

Well, Twitter is finally stepping up to stop this kind of thing.

From today’s blog post:

Stopping the creation of new abusive accounts:
We’re taking steps to identify people who have been permanently suspended and stop them from creating new accounts. This focuses more effectively on some of the most prevalent and damaging forms of behavior, particularly accounts that are created only to abuse and harass others.

Hopefully this will finally stop their harassment of S.  I also hope this will keep the trolls from my Twitter; I’ve blocked a bunch of them, but who knows if they’re keeping an eye on me anyway with new accounts.  Because yes, I still see them come to my blog now and then.  One visitor even came from a link in a Twitter status by one of the trolls.  That was just last week, I believe.

This is also good because, even though I reported two of them to Twitter, it went nowhere.  But now I see one of the accounts is gone: Maybe my report helped S get the account shut down.  You can tell by their Twitter handles that they made the accounts on purpose to harass S.

Is S for real?  I am inclined to think his evidence is much better than the star’s.  Her story keeps changing.  But even if she’s telling the truth, the behavior of the trolls is wrong.  I hope Twitter will do what it claims it will do, and stop it, not just to keep the trolls from S, but to get them to lose interest in me as well.

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