Excellent blog post for victims of abuse who are told they “deserved” it
When Abusers Act Like Victims, Victims Get Abused by Liberty for Captives. Quotes:
But it also sounded familiar. Almost every victim of abuse–whether verbal, physical, sexual, or spiritual–has sat sweating in the presence of his or her abuser and felt the lens of blame turned back on them. This is called blame-shifting and it results in re-victimization of those who have suffered abuse.
Why Does it Happen?
When an abuser is in control—when his victim squirms beneath his gaze or suffers beneath his lash—the abuser feels that all is right with the world. …. He believes that the victim needs him—wants him, even—or that the victim at least deserves the abuse.
He admires his own golden qualities and may feed off the body and blood of religion like a parasite. He lives in rationalization and denial for so long that his lies become his truth.
But shatter those windows, expose those deeds, and pull an abuser wriggling into the sunlight and watch his sudden breathless explanations. Exposed for what he is—an abusive person guilty of sin—he feels outraged at the accusations…..
An article from NBC’s Today Show explains why Jerry Sandusky and his wife feel like they are the victims, despite Jerry being convicted of 45 out of 48 counts of child sexual abuse.
This is a pattern, folks. Perpetrators are often master manipulators and deceivers who blame-shift and accuse their victims of persecuting them or lying.