Some good links on Narcissism

This one questions whether or not a narcissist is doing it on purpose–saying that if he really means to hurt somebody, it’s probably anti-social (sociopath), not narcissistic.  I found this interesting because it counters the common claim on many sites that the narcissist does it all on purpose to hurt and use you.  Maybe the Narcissist Sociopath does, or the Malignant Narcissist (basically the same thing), since narcissism there co-exists with sociopathy/anti-social disorder.  But lower-level narcissists would basically be highly sensitive–at least, to their own needs, not to yours:

The way a narcissist’s brain works can help unravel whether they mean to hurt their partners or not

There is disagreement in the comment section over the advice in the following article, because you basically stop standing up for yourself, and commenters believe this will make you lose your self-esteem.  I did have a similar thought.  But the writer says the advice is meant to de-escalate fights with someone you can’t or don’t want to just leave.  So use your own judgment:

How to De-Escalate a Fight with a Narcissist

This one explains why people like me stay in friendships or relationships with abusers.  Firstly: because they’re not the Lifetime Movie Abuser all the time, knocking you around and kicking your pets:

People often stay in abusive relationships because of something called ‘trauma bonding’ — here are the signs it’s happening to you

 

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