See Guide to Understanding the Introverted on LOLSnaps.
Introverted people…naturally find most interaction exhausting and need time to recharge.
The article describes how to pleasantly greet an introvert, without pressuring this person into talking–which will naturally draw them to you if they want company.
Don’t demand to have energy spent on you when it’s not particularly needed. Don’t take silence as an insult–It isn’t! Introverts get lonely, too.
That attitude is exactly the problem. Introverts are not in need of ‘help.’ There’s nothing wrong with us; we’re just quiet.
Why do so many extroverts think it’s okay to patronize us and treat us like there’s something fundamentally wrong with us as human beings, that they have to bend down from yon lofty heights to rescue the poor, lost souls?
We don’t need to ‘come out of our shells.’ We need people like act like that to realize that different people do different things, and it’s okay.
I think many extroverts are uncomfortable with introverts because they can’t readily know what we’re thinking. After all, we’re not announcing it.
And it makes them so uncomfortable that they set out to put an end to it, without realizing that if they showed genuine interest in getting to know who we are, they’d find out. No pushy antics required.
We aren’t obligated to be anyone’s entertainment, either, so that whole “She didn’t come search me out in a crowded room to say hi, so she must be a snobby bitch” thing needs to stop.
Maybe we didn’t see you. Maybe we were in a hurry. Maybe you were already engaged in conversation and we were raised not to interrupt someone mid-sentence.
Maybe we were lost in thought somewhere and didn’t realize it was you until the moment had passed. Maybe you’re a total freaking stranger, so why would we say anything?
I guarantee, though, that an introvert’s silence is not an insult. It’s our natural state. Even if you say something completely stupid, and we don’t respond to it, we’re not insulting you. In that case, keeping our mouths shut is preventing us from doing so.
If we bother to say something, chances are, as in this case, you pushed the wrong button at the wrong time.
Lastly, we generally understand extroverts quite well, as we’re almost uniformly good listeners. I have obnoxious extrovert ‘friends.’
And I have many friends who are extroverted and still perfectly capable of respecting my limits. In exchange, instead of coming *out* of my shell, I let them *in*.
They are wonderful, caring people and endless fun, and have earned a loyal companion who will talk to them openly, share in the jokes, and hold their hand through the heartaches.
Those who are neurotic attention whores… well, they get what they want, too: the perfect sounding board who won’t cut short their uninterrupted vocal stream of consciousness and let them wax poetic about their many accomplishments and frustrations all. Day. Long.
A free therapist, and a free punching bag when they need to project their insecurities on someone. Finally, someone they can make a project out of, all the while condemning the very personality traits that allow them to thrive. At least, that’s how my day went today.