Happy Ten-Year Stalking Anniversary to Richard and Tracy

Seriously, guys.  We met online frickin’ 17 or 18 years ago.  Can you imagine?  We dumped you 12 years ago because you’re abusive bullies.  You’ve now been stalking me online for a full decade.  I last saw you here on April 26.  That’s quite the dedication.

Richard, you’re almost 50.  Do you really intend to still be coming on here when you’re 60 years old?  70?  80?

Tracy, get psychological help.  Seriously.