Fighting the Darkness: Journey from Despair to Healing

Following are all the posts I’ve written in the course of healing from the narcissistic abuse described here; oldest posts are at the bottom:

An “incident” with a friend that turned out very differently than Richard and Tracy September 29, 2021
Confirmed: Richard lied about Executive Order January 5, 2021
Friends & pod people & Christians wanting power & Weimar Prussia August 10, 2020
Thought I’d recognize the 10-year-anniversary, but it slipped right by me. July 21, 2020
Happy 8-Year Stalking Anniversary… May 19, 2020
Richard/Tracy, have you stopped the abuse? March 8, 2020
Reflections on healing from abuse in the past decade December 24, 2019
Lawmakers: Change WI loophole that lets children be placed with abusers (like Richard) December 20, 2019
What Richard Told Me about border guards: Investigating its Truth September 16, 2019
Cuddling, narcissistic recovery, and nonsexual affection: August 26, 2019
Repost: The long, dark night of my soul as I doubt God exists–because my spiritual mentor betrayed me May 5, 2018
Reblog: Sociopaths rule America — but there’s an easy way to identify them. | Lucky Otters Haven April 12, 2018
Reblog: Narcissists, Phones and Your Right to Privacy March 30, 2018
Anniversary: 10 years since Richard moved in: Letter to Narcissist ex-friend October 5, 2017
This “winning” over narcissists is not really winning April 23, 2017
“The violent intimidate the gentle”: I found this poem on “my” narcissists March 25, 2017
Healing from abuse by friend: “Our movie” no longer stings July 10, 2016
Former FBI special agent on right-wing extremism–and my ex narcissist-friend June 23, 2016
Life is good now: Looking back at 6 years ago June 16, 2016
Comfort in not being alone dealing with my narcissist abusers June 3, 2016
Tracy Sighting…. April 7, 2016
Now my church is officially merging with my abusers’ church….. March 12, 2016
Had another one of those dreams this morning…. (forgiveness?) December 3, 2015
As of tomorrow, it will be two months since my stalkers’ last visit here…. November 23, 2015
Ten years since I first met my abusers….. November 3, 2015
My Priest has retired–and realizing my church no longer connects to my narcissist June 28, 2015
Lesson on friendship learned from All in the Family June 5, 2015
Some thoughts on my sociopathic stalkers as I revise an old post…. April 18, 2015
The payoff of sharing my abusers’ sociopathic e-mail: Part 2 of my “Stalked” series has been pinned March 26, 2015
Marking an anniversary: reporting my bullies to Social Services March 5, 2015
For the first time in five years, my once-friend Richard, February 23, 2015
Reflecting on A Year Ago…. December 8, 2014
Two and a half years ago, …. September 28, 2014
Running my abusers’ e-mail through the narc decoder September 14, 2014
Warning: Freeloading houseguests could be “legal residents” of your house September 7, 2014
Recovery from Abuse: A Fun, Peaceful Evening Spent with Real Friends August 23, 2014
Reblog: 5 Sneaky things Narcissists do to take advantage of you August 9, 2014
As I revise and sticky old posts on abuse, I realize: Now it’s about the writing July 30, 2014
When our abusers get honored: Dang newspaper tells me about my abusers July 24, 2014
Wondering just how many of Richard’s stories were lies…. July 13, 2014
Fighting the Darkness: Slightly shaken at church today March 30, 2014
Different kinds of abuse–same feelings: How Mark Driscoll reminds me of Tracy, Phil, and others March 11, 2014
So Chris has re-friended me on Facebook…. March 11, 2014
Cribbage, Richard’s ongoing legacy, and long live the Forum February 23, 2014
Fighting the Darkness: A little thing that made me almost tear up…. February 11, 2014
Things to make you go hmmmm…. January 5, 2014
The healing of getting it all out January 3, 2014
The Snuggle House in Madison: How sad to see this close because of closed minds December 30, 2013
NVLD: I just don’t understand people December 7, 2013
Re-evaluating if I had PTSD or Complex-PTSD December 1, 2013
Oh Stalkers, Why Do You Creep? (To Creepy Blog Stalkers) November 27, 2013
Saving your letters is not one bit “creepy”: one of the ways I got gaslighted November 13, 2013
Fighting the Darkness: Coming out of the darkness, or, life without narcissists October 19, 2013
On venting to others about husband/wife, ie, how Richard put me into an impossible position October 14, 2013
Song for my narcissistic stalkers: Free by VAST September 27, 2013
An Excellent Article on Emotional Abuse September 19, 2013
Proof my stalkers have backed off from trying to intimidate me September 7, 2013
Another person who gets why we blog about our abuse/stalking experiences September 3, 2013
How and when I first realized Richard was a false friend August 22, 2013
It’s Gone.  The Depression is Gone! August 17, 2013
Struggling to Trust Again After Being Discarded by Loved Ones July 28, 2013
Trudging Through Five and a Half Years of Hell…..Do I See Light Up Ahead?  (Surviving Depression After Abuse) July 22, 2013
My stalkers are persistent little buggers, just visited yesterday, but I’m not afraid of seeing them here anymore:….. July 21, 2013
Zimmerman’s expression is just like Richard’s November 2011 mug shots July 15, 2013
Finally healing from the narcissistic abuse and toxic friendship June 27, 2013
Are my stalkers starting to leave me alone after all? June 17, 2013
I Have Won this Game with the Narcissists June 9, 2013
I sense another wave of narcissistic attack coming my way….. June 3, 2013
Jeff Dunn’s “Playing God with Tornadoes,” and trying to hold to faith when filled with doubt May 31, 2013
Progress Report on Inching Along with Healing Over Cluster B Abuse May 27, 2013
Triggered by Tonight’s Breaking Amish: Kim raging at Sabrina: Reminder of Cluster B Rages May 27, 2013
Extroverts bullying introverts; also, Letting go of Richard because he could not accept me as an introvert May 23, 2013
So my blog stalkers are still stalking…..First Anniversary of Being “Found” May 14, 2013
Defanging the Narcissist May 11, 2013
Dodging a Bullet: Friends of Narcissists Who Are Also Narcissists: Or, Discovery on Richard’s Friend Chris May 11, 2013
And Today Was a Good Day…. April 28, 2013
A return to a peaceful spirit as my stalkers are defanged at last; also, glad to see my blog back! April 21, 2013
Taking Back My Power At Last March 26, 2013
Reflections on Emily Yoffe’s article: Why I keep perseverating on the abuse, and why forgiving the abusers may be unneeded March 25, 2013
Maybe this time the stalkers will stay away? March 21, 2013
Wasted Years Mourning a Narcissist: Reclaiming Our Lost Selves and Thriving March 13, 2013
More Support of me having the right to go to the church when abused March 9, 2013
Marking another anniversary: abuse reports; my story of reporting child abuse; also, take courage when you witness child abuse March 4, 2013
Poem: Killing the pain of loving a narcissist March 2, 2013
The Hypnotism Conversation with Richard: Things Narcissists Do February 24, 2013
Catching FLEAS from Narcissists and Abusers February 24, 2013
“As I Write, You Disappear” February 18, 2013
Deceived: About Toxic “Best” Friends February 13, 2013
Seeing Abuser is Rough for Abuse Victims, Especially When Abusers & Enablers Blame the Victim: Annie’s Mailbox February 10, 2013
Working on Releasing the Anger/Pain/Depression Toward My Stalkers February 8, 2013
Svengalis, Love Bombing, Hypnotism, and Narcissists February 6, 2013
Trauma Bonding: This must be my problem with breaking the connection to my stalkers February 2, 2013
Poisonous Friend: Dedicated to my Stalkers February 2, 2013
Trying to Explain the Wreck of My Faith to a Worried Husband January 28, 2013
Freaked out by spotting my blog stalker on the street just now January 25, 2013
On Lost Friendship, God, Hell, and Repentance January 19, 2013
It’s Perfectly Normal to Dread Seeing Abusers Again January 12, 2013
Why post abuse stories? (Was: Wondering if my blog stalkers will read about Phil now….) January 3, 2013
Working on Healing from Richard and Tracy’s Damage…Day by Day, Crawling Upwards December 31, 2012
How Extrovert Misunderstanding Turns Into Abuse–And Why Introverts/Extroverts Need to UNDERSTAND Each Other December 28, 2012
Why My Stalkers’ Threat is Bogus: Going to my Priest is Well Within My Rights December 23, 2012
Toxic Mix of Abusers and Introverts December 22, 2012
St. Maximos: What separates us from the love of friends…. December 21, 2012
Female Friends Chased Off by Controlling Girlfriends/Wives: I’m Not the Only One: Monday’s Annie’s Mailbox December 19, 2012
Defamation and the Abuse Blogger: I’m Safe and Here’s Why December 19, 2012
An Abuser’s Lies Are Demonic December 13, 2012
A Good Day for Healing from Abuse December 11, 2012
Why I Blog About My Depression–Even While Watched by the Ones Who Caused It (My Blog Stalkers) December 10, 2012
Wives Abusing Husbands, Husbands Abusing Wives December 10, 2012
Journey to Healing: Things Are Looking Up Socially….. December 9, 2012
Poking Fun at Creepy Blog Stalkers December 7, 2012
Just Had Another Dream About Richard….I wake up and it’s just a dream….I Hate These Things December 4, 2012
Declaration of Freedom From Tracy’s Power Over Me December 2, 2012
Another Survivor Whose Abuser Found Her Blog December 1, 2012
Just found a blog by someone in my situation: struggling to get over an N friend December 1, 2012
Why I Struggle to Let Go of Richard; Also, Musings on NVLD/Asperger’s November 26, 2012
As I Witnessed, Abusers Control Spouse’s Friends/Family November 18, 2012
Why Abuse Victims *Should* Blog November 16, 2012
Grief Continues Over False Friend November 12, 2012
Blogging as Therapy for the Abused/Bullied: Beginning to Heal from Richard/Tracy Stuff November 5, 2012
Realizing I Was Used and Manipulated by My “Best” Friend Richard: The Proof Is In The E-Mail October 30, 2012
My Abusers’ Threats are Empty and Extortion October 28, 2012
For Fellow Bloggers of Abuse/Narcissistic Experiences: Dealing with Gaslighting Legal Threats October 27, 2012
Poem about abuse: The Fire Elemental (About Richard/Tracy) October 15, 2012
Richard: The Collateral Damage October 13, 2012
Emotional Blackmail October 8, 2012
Anniversary of the fall of a spiritual mentor October 3, 2012
Freedom from Richard’s Political Stranglehold August 31, 2012
About Emerging From Broken: The Confusion Created around Forgiveness Issues August 26, 2012
From Emerging From Broken: Forgive the Abusers? A bit of a Rant August 25, 2012
Today’s Fun: Highland Games, Weird Friends August 25, 2012
You Don’t Have to Dance for Them: Moving On August 24, 2012
Needing to Feel Safe: Going to same church as abusers August 21, 2012
Desperate Measures–When Abusers Sense They’re Losing Their Grip on You (About a Luke173 Ministries Article) August 18, 2012
De Profundis: Oscar Wilde on toxic friendship–Part 2 August 15, 2012
Isolation of Abuse Victims August 13, 2012
Existential Crisis and Despair: Loss of God and Friendship (dedicated to Richard) August 11, 2012
As for my two blog stalkers….. August 9, 2012
Another Blogger Who Refused to Back Down From Abusers’ Threats July 18, 2012
How my emotional trauma proves the abuse–and I realize Richard conned me July 14, 2012
Fighting the Darkness: Breaking the Power of Narcissists July 8, 2012
I Tell the Forum and Friends That Richard and Tracy Are Stalking Me July 6, 2012
The Relief of Being With Friends Who Do Not Abuse You July 5, 2012
And wave to the stalkers…. June 26, 2012
De Profundis: Oscar Wilde on toxic friendship–Part 1 June 20, 2012
I Will NOT Be Silent June 19, 2012
Music’s Painful Associations June 14, 2012
How DARVO could prove which of us is telling the truth June 13, 2012
The Difficulties and Rewards of Breaking Ties with Narcissists June 8, 2012
Book Review: Mysteries of Udolpho by Ann Radcliffe–Part 1 June 4, 2012
I’m not the only blogger who’s been “found” by the abuser June 3, 2012
Confronting Your Bully/Abuser June 2, 2012
How Abusers End Up Blaming You June 1, 2012
This Blog is Shut Down. May 29, 2012
Further abused by my abusers when I stuck up for myself May 27, 2012
My Answer to Richard and Tracy’s Narcissistic E-mail May 27, 2012
Richard and Tracy are stalking me online and at church May 27, 2012
Now I’m Being Stalked. May 27, 2012
Richard & Tracy Have Been Banned. May 25, 2012
This Blog is No Longer Safe. May 21, 2012
Richard and/or Tracy were here. May 20, 2012
Hm. The abusers found my blog. May 12, 2012
Recall Primary Tomorrow–and how this nastiness is affecting friendships May 7, 2012
What if The Abusers Changed? April 19, 2012
Fighting the Darkness: Fear of Death March 26, 2012
Fighting the Darkness: Can I Trust Social Services and the Courts? March 22, 2012
Triggers March 19, 2012
Blogging the Parasite out of my Head: Writing about the abuse March 13, 2012
Finding out people you love have a dark side March 12, 2012
Whether and when to forgive an abuser March 2, 2012
On Being Judged for Shyness February 29, 2012
No epilogue of healing–yet February 27, 2012
Contemplating the evils of jealousy and abuse January 16, 2012
Struggling to get past the abuse January 15, 2012
Was he abused or a narcissist? January 14, 2012
Richard the child choker January 13, 2012
Why I could not get over this a**hole January 12, 2012
Richard is also violent January 11, 2012
Tracy refuses to apologize January 10, 2012
Tracy crazy-makes me January 9, 2012
Tracy’s abuse of Richard and the children January 8, 2012
Hoarder houseguests January 7, 2012
Tracy’s need to control everyone January 6, 2012
Richard gets too friendly January 5, 2012
Bullied for being shy and quiet January 4, 2012
The abuser refuses to feel remorse January 3, 2012
The abuser hangs out of a van window January 2, 2012
The bullying, abusive wife January 1, 2012
The elusive bosom friend December 30, 2011
Fighting the Darkness: Mutual Friends with the Abusers December 21, 2011
Fighting the Darkness: Newspaper Blurb: Richard’s Conviction (Child Abuse Charges) November 11, 2011
Fighting the Darkness: Stockholm Syndrome? November 10, 2011
Fighting the Darkness: Seeing the abuser again November 4, 2011
Fighting the Darkness: Healing can take a long time (Healing from abuse) October 25, 2011
The Light is Shining Through–Finding Faith Again After the Fall of a Spiritual Mentor: Fighting the Darkness October 4, 2011
“The Third Man” and having to report a friend August 18, 2011
Musings June 21, 2011
Three things that scare me…. June 8, 2011
Thinking of celebrating the first anniversary of friendship crash and burn June 1, 2011
Can we destroy something God put in place? February 13, 2011
Fighting the Darkness (Depression After Abuse) February 8, 2011
My NVLD in a nutshell July 2, 2010
Bullying an Introvert and Probable NVLDer July 1, 2010
Nyssa’s Conversion Story–Or, how I discovered Holy Orthodoxy: Part 3 January 22, 2009