Warning: The following summarizes and vents a period of narcissistic abuse and mind control.
To Richard if you find this: Why did you do it, man? Wasn’t I always a good friend to you? Didn’t I help you out of lots of jams? Didn’t I support you and listen to your problems and believe your claims of abuse? Didn’t I watch your kids at the drop of a hat?
Why did you betray me and throw me to the dogs?
[Update 7/17/13: I think the reasons are obvious: I believe he was a con man trying to get money and stuff from us, but the economy tanked and we had money trouble; they wanted to get political connections, but we were too “liberal” and not politically driven…
…I was his confidante of his wife’s abuses of him and the children, so she, who has a family history of personality disorders, smeared me to him to drive a wedge between us; and I spoke up against the way they both had been treating their kids.
I thought I had found a religious and spiritual mentor in my search for the True Church, and a best friend here in my own town instead of far away, one who would always be there for me throughout life.
But I believe I fell prey to a con man who eventually decided my husband and I were of no further use to him and his wife.
So instead of addressing the real issues, they made me a scapegoat, made up offenses and kept me always jumping over hoops.
Then because we no longer had much money to give them, I started doubting Richard’s wild stories, and I had let them know they abused their kids, they started treating my husband and I both very badly.
They found an imaginary complaint to skewer me over, so we would break off the friendship in disgust, but they would still be able to claim that it was my fault and not theirs.
Richard threatened my husband with physical violence and intimidated him. Then in 2010, I was proven correct about the abuse, when Richard choked his oldest daughter until she passed out. He plea bargained and served a year of probation.]
That elusive bosom friend
Some friends just drift in and out of your life. Some hurt when they drift away, but you deal with it and move on. Some may anger you so much that losing them doesn’t bother you.
Losing a friend is not easy in any case, but it’s far more difficult when it was that one extra-special friend, the kind that’s so rare.
All my life I have wanted the elusive bosom friend that Anne Shirley spoke of. The friend who sticks with you for life, not a romance, not sex or marriage, which I already have, but a platonic friend. Frodo/Sam.
I’ve made close friends, but then somebody moved away, or classes/lunch periods changed. I wanted such a friend right here in my own town, not many miles away, separated for so many years that the friendship remains, but the closeness inevitably suffers.
I thought I finally found that friend when this one moved to my town. I had just prayed for a friend a few months before. “Jeff” and I both liked him and I thought he was that friend, an answer to prayer.
Gender makes no difference to me, never has, never will, and I believe that it’s ridiculous and old-fashioned to believe that men and women can’t or shouldn’t be friends.