One of the people online, Gypsy, probably named after the Gypsy robot on Mystery Science Theater: 3000, invited people to a TCB user party for Saturday, March 4.
Krafter and Stimpy wanted Sharon and me to come to it with them. This was a popular, invitation-only party, probably held every once in a while.
Gypsy and his wife Nympho didn’t know us, so they didn’t invite us. Krafter and Stimpy petitioned them. Gypsy and Nympho sent us amused e-mails saying we could come.
Late one night, I went to Country Kitchen with Krafter and Stimpy. I sat next to Stimpy and laughed as he said, “For once, we’re bringing chicks to Gypsy’s party.” He moved his hands like he was setting baby chicks on the table, and said, “Peep! Peep!”
Sharon and I walked into the party not knowing what to expect. We recognized almost no one, of course, except for the ones I saw on Krafter’s video of the BBS party. Stubby was there at one point. Nympho gave us plastic drinking cups for our pop, and wrote ZIGGY and NYSSA on them. I saved that cup for years.
I found out which person was Flezter. He sat watching someone else play on the computer. He was cute–a redhead–but only seventeen, so jailbait.
After I gave him love advice online (he had a crush on a girl at work and wondered if he should send her flowers from a secret admirer), we had become fast friends. When we found each other in tele, he wrote “Freak!” and I wrote “Psycho!” Now, to introduce myself to him, I went up to him and said, “Psycho!” He turned to me and said, “Freak!”
“Flezter” was hard for me to say–I have a dyslexic tongue at times–so I often said it “Fletzer,” and originally thought it was spelled that way. I don’t know where he got the name.
We were led to a bedroom to put our coats away, and when I came out, lo and behold, who should be standing before me but Peter!
He said, “Sh–, I wasn’t expecting to see you here! How are you doing?”
After chatting a bit, he said, “You’ve changed so much. You look so different, much more confident.”
Ish was at the party. Sharon and I were charged to get a good look at him and report to Pearl. (According to Turtle, he was the sexiest and nicest guy on the board. We told Pearl he was both nice and cute, not ugly or anything, so don’t worry.)
Gypsy and Nympho had their computer all set up for logging in. All night there was a steady stream of people to and from it. Sharon said, “That’s so sad. They come here to meet people in person, and what do they do? They turn around and go online at the party!”
Stimpy and I sat on the floor across from Peter and his date, a pretty girl with long, brown hair like mine. I don’t remember if it was curly or not. We talked and laughed and had a good time.
Peter and his girlfriend left early. Somebody quipped, “They’re off to go have sex.” I didn’t need that image.
Later, Sharon said to me, “You two have the perfect ex-relationship: You can both be in the same place with dates, and not even care.”
Which was ironic, given all the troubles we had with each other after the breakup. But those troubles and enmities had been left behind, and we could finally be friends again. Each could move on to other people without it hurting the other the least bit.
Though I was shy, I did smile and laugh a lot.
Nobody and his brother were there; they were two short, skinny teenagers, who looked no older than fifteen. They didn’t act mean at all, but tossed around a balloon with Sharon.
Sharon later said how much she enjoyed herself, that she felt more at ease than she expected. She did seem to be more talkative than I was.
Avenger and Lima were there, however. I finally got to see what they looked like. When I heard the young girl with the short, blonde, maybe reddish-blonde hair was her, I felt uneasy, remembering how mean she was to people online, and the way I muttered “Avenger” with distaste whenever she came online.
She said and did nothing to me. Though I sat near her for part of the night, I don’t remember speaking to her. I generally avoided her.
Later on, people began to leave, leaving our group, Ish, Stubby and maybe a few others. I felt more relaxed now, and it was easier to talk. I cuddled with Stimpy on the couch. Gypsy and Nympho sat on chairs nearby.
Gypsy was a dark-haired man with a mustache; Nympho was a blonde, both of them probably in their 30s. They lived in a small rented house, a duplex I believe, and another couple lived above them. They joked that they could hear whenever that enthusiastic couple had sex.
While I was at the party, Catherine played Dungeons and Dragons. The next day or on Monday, she told me about her first D&D game with Cugan as the Dungeon Master.
She said, “He looked up hopefully when I walked in the door, then looked so depressed when he saw you weren’t with me.”
She told me about the other players, and said, “Do not look at J.J. He’s cute, but do not look at him.” She wanted me to have eyes only for Cugan. She didn’t want me to end up with Stimpy, either.
She rolled up her character that day, Iliana, a fighter/mage elf. (All the characters in the campaign at that time were elves.)
On Sunday, March 5, Catherine and I planned to go to the SCA meeting, and I was to be brought back to the campus by Cugan. That day, however, there was a bad snowstorm, so Catherine called me and said we weren’t going.
Apparently she didn’t call Cugan, however, because he, panicked, called her from the meeting to see if we were okay. He feared we’d driven into a ditch somewhere.
Table of Contents
December 1991: Ride the Greyhound
January 1992: Dealing with a Breakup with Probable NVLD
March 1992: Shawn: Just Friends or Dating?
April 1992: Pledging, Prayer Group–and Peter’s Smear Campaign
October 1992–Shawn’s Exasperating Ambivalence:
Summer 1993: Music, Storm and Prophetic Dreams
- Classmate a stand-in for “Rudy”; Jigging at College Dance
- Library Tales
- Happiness Returns
- Living with Friends in Krueger
- Funny Library Stories
- Shawn Calls
- Psycho Roommates and Bug Wars
- Return of Rick
- Adjusting to New Dorm
- Spitball-Throwing Teacher
- Rat-Obsessed Teacher and Doctor Zhivago
- A Teacher Dated a Student; InterVarsity Fun
- Charlie Peacock Concert
- Random Stories
- Letter to Shawn
- Erotic Vampire Dream (Inspiration for Alexander Boa)
- I Ask Out James
- Peter Calls!
- The Fateful First Meeting of Phil
- The Birth of Dolphin Philosophy
- Our Group of Friends Splits Apart
- Spring Classes
- Big Red Flag: Phil’s Dysfunctional Family Life
- The Drunken Stork (Phil’s Controlling Nature Manifests)
- Idealizing Phase and Early Sign of Control
- Phil Tries to Control my Friendships, Unfair Accusations from his Dad and Brother
- Phil Gaslights Me with Fake Dreams, Ridicule and Psychological Abuse
- Another Pre-Engagement
June 1994–Bits of Abuse Here and There:
- The Abuse Worsens in the Summer of Hell
- Phil rapes me anally
- Phil tries to control me through refusing everything I want–even proper hygiene
- Phil’s cruel hoax on me: his “subconscious” coming out to be with me
- Phil’s “subconscious” explains why he’s coming out to talk to me
- The lies unravel as Phil admits to conning me; also, fright as my periods turn wacky
- How Phil’s behavior fit the signs of abuse
- Phil Mindscrews Me: changes history, blames me for things that were not my fault, treats me like an idiot during games
- Phil says if he abuses me, it takes two people to sign the divorce papers
- Pearl reveals that Phil is costing me social invitations
- Hints that Phil is checking out of the marriage
September 1994–Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel:
- Phil picks fights and avoids responsibilities to make me feel like a shrew
- My husband Phil, Dave and Pearl call me a party pooper for getting a Grade II concussion
- I’m ecstatic to be back with my friends (the ones Phil hates); I meet Charles
- Phil vanishes without a word of why
- Phil wants a divorce
- My friends tells me that Phil is controlling and possessive
- My first Pentecostal church service: They speak in tongues
- Phil refuses to accept responsibility for the divorce
- Phil cuts off contact
- Attack of Phil’s Flying Monkey and Sycophant: Dirk
- Phil the narcissist admits to manipulating people and using them as pawns in his game with me
- Phil comes crawling back to me–and we put our marriage on paper
- Phil demands my complete submission and forces me into oral sex–and my will is broken, for fear he’ll divorce me again
- Phil walks away from me again–because I dare to have my own mind, opinions and needs–and because he’s a sociopath
- Fierce anger against Phil and PTSD from the abuse
- My friends tell me Phil is psychotic
- “Soul Ties”
- I return Phil’s things and he skewers me; consolation from friends
- My letter to Phil
- Phil shows my letter to his friends; I’m triggered by reminder of forced oral sex
- I start dating Charles
- Friends tell me Phil is controlling
- I feel stalked by Phil
- Poem about being stalked by Phil
- Fury at Phil stalking me and rubbing my face in his new relationship
- A Date with the Vampire
- Celtic Class: Knotwork, Tin Whistles, SCA–and Drinking from a Skull
- The Teddy-O Incident; Birth of These Memoirs
- We Hook Up to the Internet–and Shawn Fixates on My Sex Life
- New Guy Begging at My Feet
- Life on TCB
- Meeting Cugan (Hubby)
- Learning my ex Peter was a love-fraud; New Men
- Before Tracy, There Was the Avenger (Sociopathic Female Bullies Pt 1)
- Torn between three men as Catherine pushes me toward Cugan
- The Love Rectangle
- Torn between FIVE men! Me?
- Persephone’s Own Outrageous Stories of Phil’s Abuse
- College-style living
- Online Shenanigans
- Phil Finds TCB; Meeting a Hit Man
- Gypsy’s Party: Healed friendship with Peter
- The Avenger Starts a Flame War (Sociopathic Female Bullies Pt 2)
- Meeting the elusive Speaker
- First Date with Future Hubby Cugan
- On Breaking Up with Kindness
- Loony Roommies and Flying Gargoyles
- The Goddess of Pleasure and Salt
- A Conversation with Oscar Wilde
- My First SCA Event
- Cugan: a vast improvement over Phil
- Easter with Cugan’s family and SCA
- Cugan breaks up with me
- After breakup: Phil’s return and trolls
- Cugan comes back
- SCA hippies; college senioritis: anxiety!
- Or should I move back in with my parents?
- Peace with Phil
- Defending my Thesis; Graduating with Honors
- Graduation: Trapped at school
- Epilogue and Apology from Phil