Platonic opposite-sex friends without jealous spouses…Or, Saw an old friend for lunch yesterday
It was so good to see my pastor-friend “Mike” again.
He says his wife is “very jealous,” yet she doesn’t know me, doesn’t want to friend people on Facebook just because they’re his friends, doesn’t monitor his conversations with me, none of this.
If what he means is, she doesn’t want to share him sexually, that’s not “jealousy,” that’s normal. 🙂 No, I don’t consider her jealous, since she’s never shown any sign of jealousy with me.
Yes, Mike is in my college memoirs. We’ve known each other since InterVarsity started up my sophomore year. I even had a crush on him for a while. But it wasn’t returned, I moved on to my now-husband, and our friendship has always been strictly platonic. As Mike puts it, we flirt on occasion, but we always maintain boundaries.
What did we talk about? Family. Church. Religion. Nothing to be alarmed about.
Some people, even in the twenty-first century, still have problems with married people having opposite-sex friends. Or people flirting innocently and harmlessly with opposite-sex friends.
While some people do turn it into affairs, that’s their problem. Let the rest of us have our friends without fear of facing an angry spouse, or having to justify it.
Mike was part of my main circle of friends in college, even though it was mostly female. We called him an “honorary woman.” Even though half of us had crushes on him at some point, he never dated us.
I’ve kept up with that circle over the years, and now we’re all on Facebook, connected though scattered across the state. It would be a shame to break that up because of a jealous spouse. It’s so good to see this is not a problem.