This blog has just been started: Potty Mouth Parenting. Don’t let the title fool you: She’s not advocating cussing at children, just likes to cuss while explaining parenting skills to parents. 🙂
Not only does she promote childrearing without the use of any form of violence or screaming, but she has years of experience as a nanny and in other such environments.
Also on Facebook.
Quotes from her blogs:
You know how I tell you “NO FREAKING OUT?” Nowhere is that more important than here.
Does your child sometimes seem as if they may need an exorcism? Have they mastered that high pitch squeal that gets the neighborhood dogs barking? Does it seem like your child is intentionally trying to embarrass you in public?
Can they cry for hours on end? Do they tell you “NO!” like a billion times? Great! Congratulations, you have a typically developing child!
Temper tantrums are one of the “givens” in parenting. They ARE going to happen. They are. So get used to it…..
Your child is counting on you not to break. They are counting on you to be the constant. They are counting on you to be completely stable.
People buy A LOT of crap that they don’t need. It’s our consumer lifestyle. So, I thought I’d share with you a bunch of crap you can buy that is actually useful.
The first thing you need is a good, sturdy, tiny-butt toilet seat. I am vehemently opposed to the “potty chair.” You’re teaching your child to use the toilet, not shit in a bucket, so use the damn toilet.
I suggest replacing all of your toilet seats with one that has an integrated child seat. Like this one. Bemis makes them for round and oval toilets, they run about $40 each. Well worth it in my opinion.
I’m sure other manufacturers make them as well, just look around for one to fit your toilet, it’s out there. Depending on how old your child is, and their size, you could need the child seat for quite awhile. The integrated child seat makes it so easy.
The point I want to make here is that if your child is showing signs that they are upset, for whatever reason it may be, it’s worth taking the time to show a little empathy. Doing so not only teaches them that they are valued and loved, and that their feelings are important, but it also shows them what empathy looks like.
So when they see someone who is upset, they will know how to respond. They will know that feelings are not “bad” or “scary.” They will become emotionally competent adults. What a fucking concept, huh?
OR try this on for size, your significant other of 10 years up and leaves you, or you get fired from your job, or a loved one dies. Then, I come over and say, “You’re fine. Stop crying.”
You can’t be mad when your child has an accident. You knew it was bound to happen. I don’t care if it is annoying, or time consuming, or gross, or inconvenient. Suck it up.
I know adults who have shit their pants for one reason or another. I know A LOT of women who pee every time they sneeze. The point is you’re not immune to accidents because you’re an adult, so stop acting like you are, snob. What are you, every James Spader character from the ‘80s?
While I certainly hope that you have fewer accidents than your child does, you’re not better than they are because statistically you don’t crap your pants as much as they do.
Also important to keep in mind, kids don’t like to shit themselves any more than you do. They already feel bad enough, so keep your damn mouth shut.
I once heard a parent threaten to spank her child if she had an accident. As if that poor child would do it on purpose! There were plenty of other things about that mother’s parenting that made me finally report her to CPS a couple of years ago.