Reblog: Lenora Thompson: “‘Victim’ Isn’t a Dirty Word, so Don’t Revictimize Me!”

From her post:

Didn’t expect that! The backlash. The name-calling. The shaming. Who knew talking about past abuses was actually “wallowing in victimization”?

Well, I’ll be danged!

If I’m being accused of reveling and wallowing in being a victim, thought I, so are others. If it hasn’t happened to you yet, it will. (But I hope it doesn’t.)

Here’s What They Said

“To me, this sounds like wallowing in victimization. Not that what the parents did wasn’t horrible, but why was she still living there in her late teens, never mind her twenties? I think maturity is better reached by looking at the part YOU play in dysfunctional relationships and working to understand and correct that, instead of labeling and blaming others.”

“I had pretty much decided to stop getting these psychcentral newsletters, as many of the articles take this victimized, blaming attitude, and this one drove me over the edge. Bye!”

“No doubt about the emotional abuse, but it’s sad that the author continues to revel in her victimization and blame those awful parents for her behavior. Then, although probably therapeutic to a degree, she creates a platform to inform strangers about her experiences, garnering attention much as a narcissist would. Hmmmmm”

Oy vey, mamma mia and a couple of laadeedaas.

….A Time for Wallowing. It’s called Grief.

If you don’t wallow and acknowledge the abuses that occurred and grieve those abuses, then you’ll never heal. There are no shortcuts. Skip “wallowing” or try to cut your “wallowing” short and you ain’t gonna heal, baby!

…Those who attack victims always have an agenda. Victimizing someone is bad. But revictimizing a victim by shaming them for being a victim. Wow! That’s low!

Lots more here.

Except for when my abusers found it, the few comments I’ve gotten here have been supportive.  But I see the victim-shaming for sharing our stories, all over other blogs, so I turned off the comments here.  Anyone who wants to make comments like the above, can refer to Thompson’s blog post.  😛