Reblog: Yelling and Swearing at Children is Emotional Child Abuse

I am fighting for four beautiful children, who are being damaged by their parents.  I want to see their parents repent of the abuse and turn their behavior around.

I am fighting for millions of other children growing up in abusive homes.

My experiences with this abusive couple, have spurred me on to advocate against child abuse on the Net through my website and through Facebook.  And it is working, as I see many hits every single day on my posts about child abuse.

Who knows, maybe one day I’ll even get through to them so they’ll stop abusing their kids.  But in any case, I can certainly hope to reach many other parents and stop abuse before it starts.

The following blog post showed up as a Related Post the other day, while I revised one of my old blog posts on abuse:

Quotes from Yelling and Swearing at Children is Emotional Child Abuse by Megan Bayliss:

Yesterday I yelled, and swore, at my child because he would not come Christmas shopping with me.

As soon as I did it, I wanted to take the words and volume back. I wanted to reverse the damage I knew I had caused. I cannot. The damage is child abuse and child abuse is lasting.

…Parents get stressed; parents do often lash out verbally at their kids. However, there is no excuse for abuse. Provocation from our children does not equal child abuse as an acceptable means of discipline.

Much emotional abuse to children occurs because we parents throw tantrums.

The lesson for me yesterday was that the unequal balance of power between children and adults is enhanced by the use of adult words. My vocabulary range and intonation is far greater than my son’s and therefore a more potent weapon.

I can choose to use my words to heal and help, but instead I used my toxic tongue to hurt and constipate.

…Even though I am an advocate for protecting children, I am also a human being; a parent who needs reminding that child abuse takes many forms. It is not just sexual or physical abuse. Verbal abuse creates scars on the inside that nobody can see.

I urge you to remember that yelling, screaming, swearing and sarcasm directed toward your children are forms of emotional child abuse.

Another blog post on Psychology Today, “Verbal Abuse of Children: What can you do about it?” by Susan Heitler, PhD, was full of good info:

Unfortunately, the psychological damage from emotional/verbal abuse can be lifelong.  

The problem of parents who verbally abuse their children by yelling at them, calling them hurtful names, and turning them against themselves is related to the topic of an article in a recent Wall Street Journal, “States Tackling Child Abuse.”

The newspaper’s article highlighted child maltreatment in the form of physical abuse, and the need for stronger responses from state protective services.

What though is done for children whose unconditionally unloving parents intermittently or consistently denigrate and rage verbally at their children, committing emotional abuse?

State protective services are empowered to mobilize when they see visible marks of physical abuse on children’s bodies. When the abuse damages instead a child’s soul, eroding self-esteem and fostering hatred and fear, protective services generally has no jurisdiction.

How totally inadequate are the responses that we as individuals and as a society seem to be able to offer these children!

The goals of this article are both to offer suggestions and to highlight a serious gap in our protective services for children of bpd, extremely narcissistic and otherwise verbally abusive parents.

Also see Child Abuse.