Recovery from Abuse: A Fun, Peaceful Evening Spent with Real Friends
My husband finally rejoined a roleplaying group we’ve known for years. Unfortunately, he fell out with one of them about 10 years ago, so she and her husband stopped coming around.
They made up about 6 years ago, but trying to rejoin the group has gone in fits and starts, especially since they live an hour away and would often game in the middle of the week.
But now it seems to have finally worked again.
Which means I can finally see them as well, at least once in a while. And remember how easy it was to be in their presence. I have missed them sorely because of the good times we all used to have, spending holidays together and practically every Friday evening, and going to SCA events together.
Sure they’re not perfect, and I did get miffed at them at times when they did not understand what I struggle with, because I did not understand, myself, why it’s so hard for me. If I didn’t understand, how could I explain?
Now I know it’s a combination of introversion and NVLD and/or Asperger’s which causes these difficulties.
But they never rejected me for this or caused drama. They accepted that it’s just who I am. They were happy to see me again, did not pressure me into speaking.
One of them, Catherine, an old college friend, explained to a new (to me) person, that I’m quiet, so she would yell “HI NYSSA” at the top of her lungs every time she saw me. (She still does it.) LOL
Not only that, while Catherine sometimes has issues with the same person with whom Hubby had the falling-out, this person has never been mean to me. And Catherine is friendly with her, so I feel no divided loyalty. It’s peaceful, serene.
They know about how Richard and Tracy treated me, and about the e-mail I sent Richard which sent Tracy into a narcissistic rage, because Hubby told them back in 2010.
I also told Catherine myself about the bullying and abuse, and how Richard and Tracy continue to stalk me online. Our friends said if I sent the e-mail to one of them, they would’ve teased me mercilessly and then let it go, because that’s what friends do.
There is no narcissism. No personality or mental disorders that I’m aware of. No abuse or bullying.
It’s good to be back.
It’s especially good because of a medical issue which is beginning to alarm me. I have an appointment with the doctor. It could be nothing, or it could be something. I have already had two outpatient surgeries to keep cells from developing into cancer, so the risk is always there. I don’t need leftover abuse issues causing more stress.
It’s especially good because I see alarming behavior from my husband as well.
It seems like he’s pushing away so many people, old friends, new friends, my friends, his friends, even his favorite cousin, through arguments on Facebook.
Like he has a chip on his shoulder. Insisting on being right while saying they don’t respect his point of view.
Familiarity and safety in old friends is much needed now, not just for me but for him. To get him to stop seeing everyone as another Richard/Tracy. Maybe it will help restore him to equilibrium–so I can stop walking on eggshells.
In other words, current stresses are plenty without the old ones continuing to fill my heart.