Reblog: Cherilyn Clough: Is It Un-Christian to Go No Contact?

From Cherilyn Clough’s Is It Un-Christian to Go No Contact?:

No contact does not mean you haven’t forgiven. One of the myths about adult children of dysfunctional families is they are bitter and have not forgiven if they are still talking about their pain.

I disagree. I would say many people are still in the process of healing and may have trouble moving on because the pain of a broken relationship is like a death in the family.

Those who accuse people of not forgiving have either not experienced the betrayal and abandonment of a parent–or they are in denial of their own issues. Sadly, as long as some people are alive they will continue to deny what they’ve done and continue to bully others.

So is it un-christian to go no contact when Jesus tells us to love our enemies? To determine the truth, we need to take into account everything Jesus says.

….One way to stop being a victim is to stand up for yourself and go no contact.

….Most people raised in dysfunctional families know all too well how unhealthy anger rages and accuses and yells and swings a belt or slams a fist. Healthy anger does none of the above–it simply rises to the occasion by constructive action toward the abusive situation.

Read more here.