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Blogroll: My Recommended Blogs and WebsitesBook ReviewsChildhood Memoirs–Creative Child Growing up with NVLD/Asperger’sHome and Main MenuIndex for Nyssa’s Opinions on Life (Abuse, Sex, Jealousy, Etc.)Index to Nyssa’s Opinions on Theology and the ChurchMy WritingMy Writing Blog PostsPersonal BlogPoetryPrivacy PolicyWho is this Nyssa person, anyway?Why I post my abuse experiencesCopyright, Legal Notices and Contact InfoSite Archives PagePosts:
Shake up at my church leaves me heartbrokenA song for the dark night of the soul–and deer videosSo I went back to my churchUniversalism, Fundamentalism, and I think I took a wrong turnASD / NVLD diagnoses, bad friends, and political PTSDBilly Graham and My Brother’s Creepy Toys: Childhood MemoirsChildhood Memoirs: Gender RolesAnother day, another win for DemocracyChildhood Memoirs: Lake at 2 yrs old; Blizzard of ’78My Early Childhood Games and Tiger-KangaroosWhy I Hate Football (and a new memoir series for this blog)GOARCH archbishop called “woke” while OCA bans individual thoughtRIP Roe v WadeGiacomo Sanfilippo of Orthodoxy in Dialogue is being persecuted for defending LGBTQ+Purity Culture guy who slut-shamed me was arrested for prostitutionWork in Progress: Ending finally workedRevisiting: Putin as Antichrist?Sam’s not a catfish: Tell the truth, Sister WivesIf You’re Contemplating Suicide….Death of friend, politics invading life, Buffy abusing Spike: CatchallThis is me–This is my life–NVLDAn “incident” with a friend that turned out very differently than Richard and TracyAnti-Mask and Vaccine Madness comes to my son’s schoolFriendship, lust, doubt, Evangelicalism: response to Wondering EagleI’ve upgraded my websiteI got my COVID shot! It’s almost time to go back to LifeSo Rush Limbaugh is DeadThe Xenophobia is strong in this townAs QAnon swirls down the drain….I was right about TrumpConfirmed: Richard lied about Executive OrderI found someone like me who records memories for future selfChristians are being propagandized into a surreal bubble of nonreality, extremism, and hateMore on Jeff Durbin who calls woke Christians “sluts” and “Marxists”Hate is filling our churches as Trumpism takes overTime to turn the tables: Conservatives do NOT define Christianity!Classical Liberal=Ayn Rand=Godless ScroogeSo The Ancient Way Forum has been taken over by racists?The Lost Tale of Sir Larpsalot by David M. Williams–ReviewTrump’s getting ready to take over as dictatorChris Rock has NVLDOn Trump’s latest executive orderNew revision and buy links for my book TojetFriends & pod people & Christians wanting power & Weimar Prussia2020’s continued suckageThought I’d recognize the 10-year-anniversary, but it slipped right by me.I want my abusers to apologize to meDon’t force me to share a common spoon during COVIDHappy 8-Year Stalking Anniversary…My Holy Friday Tweets–depression under COVID-19:Richard/Tracy, have you stopped the abuse?Fairy Romance: TojetMy Books: two published and my work-in-progress describedGothic Story Collection: The LighthouseFallout from my Troll post=I keep fightingMore Idiot Troll AnticsSovereign Citizen Movement and a Guy we used to knowA Troll E-mail–and the Trolls are LiarsSome groups think Trump is the Messiah?Reflections on healing from abuse in the past decadeLawmakers: Change WI loophole that lets children be placed with abusers (like Richard)I just saw Wings of Desire…Trump, Putin, and the AntichristRunning commentary on yesterday’s impeachment hearingSeth Abramson’s Proof of Conspiracy: A reviewWhy I Left the GOPWhat Richard Told Me about border guards: Investigating its TruthWe made it onto Colbert!Trolls, stalkers and threats: ten years of my blogging experiencesCuddling, narcissistic recovery, and nonsexual affection:Reblog: “The Christian Right is Radicalizing White People I Love”Reblog: 7 Gaslighting PhrasesWhen I broke my political silence on FacebookCall it what it is: concentration camps. We are turning into Nazi Germany.Thoughts on the Mueller Report and AmashFroggie Loves KittyDon’t treat introverts like thisAbusive Ex: Blame it on him, not mental illnessSpiritual Abuse in EFCA: Review of Once an Insider by Amanda FarmerSexual harassment allegations against SEO and tech rockstarsEFCA church we left in 2004 has dipped into extremismNarrowing down a genre for my novel: Gothic Science FantasyReblog: When the Abuse Victim Becomes the Abuser’s AllyOne Exvangelical’s perspective: Ditching offensive entertainmentReblog: “Dealing with Abuser”–and how it brings up memoriesMy first post on ClassicPress! –and Wisconsin is doomedArticle on slapping kids upside the headA couple of notes: Spanking and No, the new girlfriend did NOT change my abusive exOur church in schism: Russia vs. EPBlack Forest DreamRapists apologizing–or notHolocaust Historian calls McConnell the Gravedigger of American DemocracyDetail: To each his ownBrett Kavanaugh’s Narcissistic Rage episode, DARVO, and why we don’t speak upConservative women “more attractive”? How patriarchal of you!So Phil, my abusive ex-husband, is back in the hospital….Reblog: Subtle Signs of a Killer: Non-fatal strangulations point to future homicidesCareful out there: Another abuse site is no longer safeReblog: Will the Non-Christian be Saved?Time to cull my blog and Twitter follow listsRepost from 2017: Realizing that past issues with men have been caused by #patriarchy ( #MeToo)Is this why my ex Phil was so abusive?Review of If Souls Can Sleep by David Michael WilliamsI have a new poetry pageAdvice columnist says: No, you don’t have to join your spouse in abusing othersTennessee and Mammoth Cave RevisitedRepost from 2011: I learn that my narcissist ex-friend choked his daughterAbusive ex Phil has a new bride….It’s Stop Cyberbullying Day #StopCyberBullying #CyberBullies #CyberBullyingStoriesAndrew Louth on homosexuality in the Orthodox Church and over-sexualization of relationshipsFrom 2012: Blogging the Parasite out of my Head: Writing about the abuseRepost: My boss was a narcissist, too, and wound up in jailRepost: The long, dark night of my soul as I doubt God exists–because my spiritual mentor betrayed meCome check out my new blog designReblog: Sociopaths rule America — but there’s an easy way to identify them. | Lucky Otters HavenReblog: Narcissists, Phones and Your Right to PrivacyWhy I don’t believe the trolls who latched onto meSo I’m still being stalked…..From Orthodoxy in Dialogue: Trouble in American OrthodoxyDon’t smack your kids: Research into teenage football concussionsReflections on Fire And FuryNeo-Nazis Infiltrating OrthodoxySome good links on NarcissismNVLD and missing social cuesOh crap my eyes are getting oldAldo Leopold is spinning in his graveReview of The Seventh Cruise: WWII NovelAllegations that Trump raped a child in 1994: #Metoo #TrumpSexPredatorRealizing that past issues with men have been caused by patriarchy#MeToo: Sexual harassment/abuse/assault storiesNew Kitty: CreamsicleAnniversary: 10 years since Richard moved in: Letter to Narcissist ex-friendReflections on Emily Yoffe’s article: Why I keep perseverating on the abuse, and why forgiving the abusers may be unneeded: Repost from 2013Reblog: “What Is Literary Fiction? Literary Editors Share Their Views”The pain of losing a best friend who turned out be a narcissist: Repost from 2011Music Obsessions: September 2017Mutual Friends with the Abusers: Repost from 2011We’re at a crossroads, GOP: Time to stand up to TrumpTo All Nazis: Crawl back into the shadows where you came from.On current events….Oh, what a shame….Music’s Painful Associations: Repost from 20122011 Trip to Tennessee–Land of the Appalachians: RepostReblog: How narcissistic abuse prepared us to fight against what is happening right now. | Lucky Otters HavenFOUR Resurrections in Glorious Appearing: Left Behind Review: Repost from 2013The Seduction of Eva Volk: ReviewA little bit about Internet Safety and checking your abuser’s blogAnger and Grief after my Spiritual Mentor was convicted of choking his child: Repost from 2011I’ve updated the covers of all my “Tojet” versionsTojet and The Lighthouse: Now available in Epub Format for E-booksThe Difficulties and Rewards of Breaking Ties with Narcissists/Borderlines: Repost from 2012More on Richard’s hypnotism–and his narcissistic stare: RepostSo I googled a sociopath from my past….We evicted a family of skunks from under our porch#13ReasonsWhy : my take on the seriesThe Light is Shining Through–Finding Faith Again After the Fall of a Spiritual Mentor: Repost from 2011Bunnies, Possums and Skunks: Life at the edge of townMy Latest Music Obsessions: May 2017 Pt 2My Latest Music Obsessions: May 2017 Pt 1Special Counsel: Checks and Balances Working!Reblog: The Misogyny and Heresy of Church Authority | john pavlovitzAn example of controlling spouse forbidding same-sex friendship:This “winning” over narcissists is not really winningReblog: Hell is for Homophobes | john pavlovitzMeeting her vampire husband: Excerpt from my book The LighthouseGOP Power GrabReblog: Mike Pence’s Dinner Rule Is Only the BeginningStruggling through waves of grief over Dad’s passingReblog: The GOP is Not a Pro-Life, Christian Party | john pavlovitz“The violent intimidate the gentle”: I found this poem on “my” narcissistsReblog: Why Is the Church Silent about Anti-LGBT+ Violence in Russia? | Public OrthodoxyRIP PippinReblog: The Narcissistic Continuum: The Appropriation of “No Contact”: When Narcissists use “No Contact” against YOUReblog: The Narcissistic Continuum: A Traumatic Election: Emotional Overwhelm & VoiceMy Latest Music Favorites: March 2017Reblog: My Fundamentalism of the 1960s Has Changed for the Worse—Considerably Worse | Jesus Without BaggageOn cyber obsessionO kitty, why do you spurn the litter box? (A Poem)Chased by Storm Chasers: South Dakota, 2001 (Repost from 2012)The Novel Form of “Metropolis”: Review, Part 1 (Repost from last June)Reblog on the trollsAnti-Muslim and anti-black language is disgusting: There is a better way (Repost from 2015)Reblog: WordPress Used as Command and Control Server in 2016 Election HackReblog: DABDA | Grace for my HeartTwitter stopping trolls like the ones who targeted me last monthRe: The current political situationRepost: Exposing Narcissists/Abusers: Why We Should Do ItResearch, Wagner, and Plot beginning to come togetherWhy I Have Trolls After Me (Humorous)My stalker troll brigade has disappearedMore information is coming out about Russian espionageFAQ on stalker threat and is it past?Reblog: Lynch Mob 2.0This wave of stalkers came pretty late.Switch to troll mockingI saw the trolls combing through my posts on sexual abuseThe trolls made me afraid of how they’d misuse my abuse storiesNow the stalkers are going through the Wayback Machine to get inDon’t make me pull out the big guns….Looky what the stalker trolls did to my stats todayGot ‘EmFound some code to block proxy serversI have identified at least 18 trollsMy gosh, I’m being targeted by trollsThe weird world of online psychopathyFrom 3 years ago: New friends healing wounds of ex-friendIs that long-feared war with Russia on the horizon?“Finding out people you love have a dark side”: My post from March 2012Now my blog shows up in the WordPress Reader!I have made a new author pageOne way that NVLD affects marriageResearch first or write first?Hypnosis and TrumpReblog: Vets beg forgiveness for war crimes against tribal nationsNew page: My DrawingsThere, now the site has an SSL, dang itMade the magic number: 200,000 hitsRemember Benny Hinn prophesying the downfall of Castro?Some Updates on Life etc.Reblog: “Stomping on Eggshells” and “Why White People Freak Out When They’re Called Out About Race”Neo-Nazis and KKK crawling out of their holes….Took first chapter of my novel to Writer’s ClubNow I read that Trump is terrified and Obama has to hold his hand….A song that fits the times: “The World Today” by Blue Ocean DreamTrump supporters accuse opposition of overreacting…A Plea to End the ViolenceDedicated to Trump…Why we are scared of a Trump PresidencyFeeling proud of our Millennials right nowReblog: “Hillary Clinton’s devastating loss spells heartbreak for women everywhere”Reblog: “This Shambling Corpse/American Democracy Died Tonight.”Reblog: Lucky Otter: “So. Trump Won.”Looks like this country is going back to the Dark Ages….Mel Gibson says sequel to “Passion” will include Christ’s descent into Hell (Harrowing)Current Song Obsessions#notokay No, Trump, not just locker room banter: My own sexual assault / harassment storiesWatching the fallout over Trump….“Betty, Girl Engineer” and 1950s sexismReblog: “Disastrous Duck by Wisconsin Supreme Court! Walker Off Scot-Free?”Reblog on toxic troll culture online–and rise of TrumpExperience makes my writing richerAre we being too harsh on lower-level narcissists?The undercurrent of grief after Dad’s passingSo glad I switched hosting providersSticking with self-hosting, v. 2 (Links should work properly now)Argh! Sick of self-hosting!Two words: F**K CANCER.My gosh, now my site is running like a dream!About pondering moving from self-hosted to Blogger: Next MorningPondering moving back to BloggerImproving….I think I’m doing a bit better.What a sucky week….bad newsBeware: Sometimes even the narcissist bloggers are themselves narcissistsJust Finished Slaughterhouse FiveTrump is lawsuit-happy–common narcissist/abuser traitOn last week’s shootings of and by policeHealing from abuse by friend: “Our movie” no longer stingsDisgusted by neo-Nazi Holocaust deniers on YoutubeMy newest Industrial music addiction: Tanz Mit LaibachReblog: “40 Years of Goth” videoFormer FBI special agent on right-wing extremism–and my ex narcissist-friendLife is good now: Looking back at 6 years agoThe Novel Form of “Metropolis”: Review, Part 2The Novel Form of “Metropolis”: Review, Part 1Comfort in not being alone dealing with my narcissist abusersI think my site’s working again….My Site is Having Hiccups.Weighing in on the Sister Wives ScandalCan I Opt-Out of Wisconsin’s Lawsuit Against Obama?On the Katrina Kennedy-Flores VideoTwitter Campaign on Emotional AbuseMore on abuse, isolation and ditching friendships because of a jealous spouseA few thoughts on Trump getting the nominationResponse to Lauren Shifflett’s story of sexual trauma by church leader3 Reblogs on narcissist traitsOkay, maybe not finished with 1st draft yet: Getting into narc’s headTracy Sighting….Reblog: The Adoration of the KonvertskyI made this meme about the GOP primaries….Now my church is officially merging with my abusers’ church…..Reblog: “Why No One Should Talk About ‘Emotional Adultery’ Ever Again”Shame and Purity Culture: My TakeReblog: What Christians Get Wrong About Sexual AbuseMusic and my creative processFinished with the first draft of my novel about obsessionPerception of abuse victims as either weak or liarsComing face to face with my dad’s cancerMy son’s Lego DalekObsessed with Writing Novel About ObsessionHad another one of those dreams this morning…. (forgiveness?)Reblog: It’s not just Trump: Islamophobia in America is spiraling out of controlAs of tomorrow, it will be two months since my stalkers’ last visit here….Juvenilia: Back in the Stalag (An Unwilling Time-Traveler, Part 4)Reblog: Stop telling me to forgive my abuserReblog: Justice for the narcissist’s victimJuvenilia: Hiding in the Bavarian Alps (An Unwilling Time-Traveler, Part 3)My narcissist: inspiring the rewrite of my old novellaReblog: “It’s Okay not to be Okay” after Narcissistic AbuseJuvenilia: Madge’s forbidden romance with Stalag guard (An Unwilling Time-Traveler, Part 2)Ten years since I first met my abusers…..A few blog posts on sharing Communion with your abuserJuvenilia: Sink den Bismarck! (An Unwilling Time-Traveler becomes the Nazi’s assistant), Part 1)Repost of “Losing Your Best Friend?–Or, Narcissistic Webs (Original Version)”The Burning of St. Louis Church Distresses Fond du LacBafflement about Thank-You NotesReblog: What happens when you send your N “the letter”Great news: Walker is out of the raceEpilogue and Apology from My Abuser Phil–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–May 1995, Part 4On Listening to Your Gut (sexual predators, narcissists, abusers, etc.)My religion being used to justify hatred–Offends MeAbram’s Daughters: Series by Beverly LewisPrevalence of porn leading to teenage girls forced into anal sexWhen the Peanut Brittle House tried to kill meHuge Site Restructuring: Recent story of abuse movedGraduation: Trapped at school–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–May 1995, Part 3One simple reason why screaming at children is not effectiveDefending my Thesis; Graduating with Honors–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–May 1995, Part 2Northerners defending the Confederate flag in my Facebook newsfeed?Peace with My Abuser, Phil–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–May 1995, Part 1More evidence of Scott Walker’s corruption, and the brain drain of teachers caused by Act 10Introvert shamingMy Priest has retired–and realizing my church no longer connects to my narcissistJust a quick note celebrating the Supreme Court’s decisionOr should I move back in with my parents?–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–April 1995, Part 6Just saw “Wall Street”: Oh, how familiar Gekko isMy Depression after Abuse Repost V1SCA hippies; college senioritis: anxiety!–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–April 1995, Part 5Cugan Comes Back–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–April 1995, Part 4Lesson on friendship learned from All in the FamilyAfter Breakup: Phil’s Return and Trolls–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–April 1995, Part 3Cugan breaks up with me–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–April 1995, Part 2Easter with Cugan’s family and SCA–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–April 1995, Part 1Could personality disorders explain the mean girls I know?Cugan: a vast improvement over Phil–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–March 1995, Part 13My First SCA Event–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–March 1995, Part 12About that new video of a Baltimore mom smacking up her son: white praise linked to oppressionA Conversation with Oscar Wilde–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–March 1995, Part 11Some thoughts on my sociopathic stalkers as I revise an old post….A little thing about health insurance debates….To my subscribers:Welcome to visitors from–what, three reblogs now?Make my story of narc abuse into a novel?The Romance of the Rosebud (Dream Vision Parody)–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–March 1995, Part 10The Goddess of Pleasure and Salt–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–March 1995, Part 9Scott Walker is looking more and more corrupt…..The payoff of sharing my abusers’ sociopathic e-mail: Part 2 of my “Stalked” series has been pinnedLoony Roommies and Flying Gargoyles–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–March 1995, Part 8Another site giving the dangers of slapping kids upside the headOn Breaking Up with Kindness–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–March 1995, Part 7Just read something about being “truly Orthodox”….First Date with Future Hubby Cugan–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–March 1995, Part 6Walker is giving Wisconsin PTSDMarking an anniversary: reporting my bullies to Social ServicesMeeting the elusive Speaker–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–March 1995, Part 5For the first time in five years, my once-friend Richard,Anti-Muslim and anti-black language is disgusting: There is a better wayWhy I post my abuse experiencesThe Avenger Starts a Flame War (Sociopathic Female Bullies Pt 2)–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–March 1995, Part 4Seeing my other ex–in healed friendship–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–March 1995, Part 3Abusive ex finds my online haven; Meeting a hit man–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–March 1995, Part 2Online Shenanigans–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–March 1995, Part 1College-Style Living–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–February 1995, Part 9Persephone’s Own Outrageous Stories of Phil’s Abuse–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–February 1995, Part 8On Orthodox praying with non-OrthodoxTorn between FIVE Men! Me?–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–February 1995, Part 7Furious at the Judgment on Nonie’s Morning Sickness (My Five Wives)Reflecting on A Year Ago….The Love Rectangle–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–February 1995, Part 6Torn Between Three Men as Catherine pushes me toward Cugan–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–February 1995, Part 5Sociopathic Female Bullies Pt 1: Before Tracy, There Was the Avenger–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–February 1995, Part 4Learning my ex Peter was a love fraud; New Men–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–February 1995, Part 3Meeting Cugan (Hubby)–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–February 1995, Part 2NVLD vs. Aspergers: Videos to explainIf you want progressive change, you have to VOTEReblog: Ingrid Schlueter–yet another blogger threatened with defamation lawsuitLife on TCB–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–February 1995, Part 1I am out of danger from my abusers: Statute of limitations has run outMy stalkers have backed way offNew Guy Begging at My Feet–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–January 1995, Part 5We Hook Up to the Internet–and Shawn Fixates on My Sex Life–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–January 1995, Part 4Reblog: Invisible Victims: Men in Abusive RelationshipsTwo and a half years ago, ….Speak up and tell on your bulliesRunning my abusers’ e-mail through the narc decoderOn Ray Rice: Domestic violence is never justifiedWarning: Freeloading houseguests could be “legal residents” of your houseRecovery from Abuse: A Fun, Peaceful Evening Spent with Real FriendsThe Teddy-O Incident; Birth of These Memoirs–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–January 1995, Part 3Response to mansplaining denials of sexual harassmentReblog: 5 Sneaky things Narcissists do to take advantage of youReblog: Are the wealthy too rich?Reblog: Yelling and Swearing at Children is Emotional Child AbuseAs I revise and sticky old posts on abuse, I realize: Now it’s about the writingGoewin the BardCeltic Class: Knotwork, Tin Whistles, SCA–and Drinking from a Skull–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–January 1995, Part 2When our abusers get honored: Dang newspaper tells me about my abusersWondering just how many of Richard’s stories were lies….Yes, some women also abuse menA Date with the Vampire–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–January 1995, Part 1Meeting the Vampire, Part 2–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–December 1994, Part 5Meeting the Vampire, Part 1–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–December 1994, Part 4My struggles with reading comprehension: Another sign of NVLDThe pain of cutting even abusers from your lifeWhat College Kids Do With Snow–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–December 1994, Part 3Our kitty has cancer :(And one more lie from Wormtongue falls crashing to the ground (gaslighting)Phil Spreads Lies About Me–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–December 1994, Part 2Moving On and Meeting the Vampire–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–December 1994, Part 1Phariseeism in the ChurchSeether’s new song: about the personality-disorderedPregnancy Scare–for real this time–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–November 1994, Part 6Persephone confronts me about the letter–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–November 1994, Part 5Happy to see my posts on child abuse making a differenceMy psycho blog stalker trolls are even more psycho stalkeryThe Richard and Tracy story is finished at last!New definitions: Did Phil rape me?–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–November 1994, Part 4Remember: Nasty people bring ostracism on themselvesPeople connecting with my posts, makes it all worth it….Breaking up with Charles–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–November 1994, Part 3“Kingdom Come”: Left Behind Review, Part 4–Prudes, Faulty Theology, Brainwashing, and Learning to Love the JudgmentI confront Phil about his abuse–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–November 1994, Part 2Struggling to move on despite the pain–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–November 1994, Part 1Fury at Phil stalking me and rubbing my face in his new relationship–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–October 1994, Part 11“Kingdom Come”: Left Behind Review, Part 3–Egypt’s Rich History is Now Declared an AbominationWait–What? A sudden spike in hits to my blogPoem about being stalked by Phil–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–October 1994, Part 10“Kingdom Come”: Left Behind Review, Part 2–Old Testament Law Reinstated; Millennium’s Totalitarian Government Cracks Down on Thought-CrimesI feel stalked by ex Phil–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–October 1994, Part 9Friends tell me Phil is controlling–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–October 1994, Part 8Fighting the Darkness: Slightly shaken at church todayI start dating Charles–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–October 1994, Part 7“Kingdom Come”: Left Behind Review, Part 1–Where the Old Testament Law is ReinstatedPhil shows my letter to his friends; I’m triggered by reminder of forced oral sex–College Memoirs: Life At Roanoke–October 1994, Part 6Bumper sticker seen on a car at McDonalds today:My letter to Phil, Part 2–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–October 1994, Part 5My letter to Phil, Part 1–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–October 1994, Part 4I return Phil’s things and he skewers me; consolation from friends–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–October 1994, Part 3“Soul Ties”–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–October 1994, Part 2My friends tell me Phil is psychotic–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–October 1994, Part 1“The Rapture”: Left Behind Review, Part 3Fierce anger against Phil and PTSD from the abuse–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–The Long, Dark Painful Tunnel, Part 15Different kinds of abuse–same feelings: How Mark Driscoll reminds me of Tracy, Phil, and othersSo Chris has re-friended me on Facebook….Phil walks away from me again–because I dare to have my own mind, opinions and needs–and because he’s a sociopath–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–The Long, Dark Painful Tunnel, Part 14Phil demands my complete submission and forces me into oral sex–and my will is broken, for fear he’ll divorce me again–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–The Long, Dark Painful Tunnel, Part 13Phil comes crawling back to me–and we put our marriage on paper–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–The Long, Dark Painful Tunnel, Part 12Why we went to Iraq twice: It really WAS for oilPhil the narcissist admits to manipulating people and using them as pawns in his game with me–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–The Long, Dark Painful Tunnel, Part 11“The Rapture”: Left Behind Review, Part 2How Minnesota’s liberal policies are doing what Walker only claims to doAttack of Phil’s Flying Monkey and Sycophant: Dirk (Part 2)–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–The Long, Dark Painful Tunnel, Part 10Attack of Phil’s Flying Monkey and Sycophant: Dirk (Part 1)–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–The Long, Dark Painful Tunnel, Part 9Cribbage, Richard’s ongoing legacy, and long live the ForumPhil cuts off contact–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–The Long, Dark Painful Tunnel, Part 8Phil refuses to accept responsibility for the divorce–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–The Long, Dark Painful Tunnel, Part 7“The Rapture”: Left Behind Review, Part 1 (also goes into smacking kids upside the head)Our rescue kitty has been adoptedMy friends tell me that Phil is controlling and possessive; My first Pentecostal church service: They speak in tongues–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–The Long, Dark Painful Tunnel, Part 6Phil wants a divorce–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–The Long, Dark Painful Tunnel, Part 5Phil vanishes without a word of why–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–The Long, Dark Painful Tunnel, Part 4Fighting the Darkness: A little thing that made me almost tear up….I’m ecstatic to be back with my friends (the ones Phil hates); I meet Charles–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–The Long, Dark Painful Tunnel, Part 3Gaining Confidence Through Writer’s ClubMy husband Phil, Dave and Pearl call me a party pooper for getting a Grade II concussion–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–The Long, Dark Painful Tunnel, Part 2Phil picks fights and avoids responsibilities to make me feel like a shrew–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–The Long, Dark Painful Tunnel, Part 1Hints that Phil is checking out of the marriage–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–August 1994, Part 6Pearl reveals that Phil is costing me social invitations–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–August 1994, Part 5Phil says if he abuses me, it takes two people to sign the divorce papers–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–August 1994, Part 4A post to make my blogging worthwhilePhil Mindscrews Me: changes history, blames me for things that were not my fault, treats me like an idiot during games–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–August 1994, Part 3How Phil’s behavior fit the signs of abuse–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–August 1994, Part 2The lies unravel as Phil admits to conning me; also, fright as my periods turn wacky–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–August 1994, Part 1Phil’s “subconscious” explains why he’s coming out to talk to me–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–July 1994, Part 5Things to make you go hmmmm….Here’s the stray kitty we rescued….The healing of getting it all outPhil’s cruel hoax on me: his “subconscious” coming out to be with me–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–July 1994, Part 4The Snuggle House in Madison: How sad to see this close because of closed mindsSo I’m actually getting followers….Phil tries to control me through refusing everything I want–even proper hygiene–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–July 1994, Part 3Just creeped out the hubby….Phil rapes me anally–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–July 1994, Part 2The Domestic Abuse Worsens in the Summer of Hell–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–July 1994, Part 1Sweeet: Fellow NLDers who like my NVLD pageAdvice for WordPress users who cannot access domain or cPanelPhil’s Mr. Hyde comes out: controlling, manipulative, verbally and emotionally abusive–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–June 1994, Part 6Yet More Validation to Writing My Stories of AbusePhil cuts down whatever is special to me (Bits of Abuse Here and There)–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–June 1994, Part 5So glad the little kitty is safe and warm….Using Natural Family Planning (Bits of Abuse Here and There)–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–June 1994, Part 4NVLD: I just don’t understand peopleDiscovering long-forgotten psychological abuse and attempted sexual assaults in my college memoirsMy son’s pet finches: love at first sightPhil’s fake dreams lead to a terrible fight (Gaslighting, Bits of Abuse Here and There)–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–June 1994, Part 3I want to change the focus of my posts….Re-evaluating if I had PTSD or Complex-PTSDPhil’s crappy jobs cause depression (Bits of Abuse Here and There)–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–June 1994, Part 2More support for keeping diaries and saving letters/e-mails: to defend against gaslighting from abusers and narcissistsReblog: The End of the Narcissistic FriendshipBe Brave and Tell Your Abuse Story: “The victim who articulates the situation of the victim is no longer a victim; he or she is a threat.”Oh Stalkers, Why Do You Creep? (To Creepy Blog Stalkers)Reblog: Cherilyn Clough: Is It Un-Christian to Go No Contact?Losing my wisdom teeth (Bits of Abuse Here and There)–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–June 1994, Part 1Reblog: Why Not Train a Child? (Proving that the Pearls advocate child abuse)Summer Shockers–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–May 1994, Part 3Our Flight: forced into deception–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–May 1994, Part 2New Evidence that NVLD is not the same as Aspergers: Brain ScansPhil’s Nervous Breakdown–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–May 1994, Part 1Article: Life and Death in Your Hands: Strangulation more common in domestic abuse casesHemorrhage and excruciating pain after first time: My Secret Marriage to Phil, Part 2–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–April 1994, Part 6My Secret Marriage to Phil, Part 1–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–April 1994, Part 5Castles in the air–including plans to live on a desert island–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–April 1994, Part 4Saving your letters is not one bit “creepy”: one of the ways I got gaslightedPhil tries to force me to obey him–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–April 1994, Part 3Minnesota embraces health care law, regulates rates; Wisconsin disses law, lets market decide; guess who got the higher premiums?Rachel Held Evans: All Sorts of Links on AbuseReblog: Abuse Survivors–Please Share Your StoryRock music is cathartic: Or, songs that scream out my rage against my stalkersPhil tries to guilt me into changing religion–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–April 1994, Part 2“Married to a Borderline” BlogPhil and I get engaged–after two months–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–April 1994, Part 1“Gender-Identity and Expression”: Let’s add this to our anti-discrimination ordinances!Letter to Editor: Vigilance needed about child abuseAwesome post about how dark times (such as being stalked) inspire good writingReblog: Explaining how to tell true from fake victimsCarolyn Hax: You can’t tell your SO who to be friends withNarcissists/Abusers: Will they be the same with somebody else, or is it just me?7 Years of Orthodoxy; struggles in continuing; should I stay Orthodox?More success raising our boy without spanking/hitting/slappingPlatonic opposite-sex friends without jealous spouses…Or, Saw an old friend for lunch yesterdayMilwaukee Campaign Slashes Teen Birth Rates in Half in Seven YearsCarolyn Hax: Deciding when to call the police/CPS; Seeing abuser again; socializing with abusive spouse of a friendWe make wedding plans, more of Phil’s fake dreams–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–March 1994, Part 4So now it’s time for my son to start sex ed…..Should bloggers reveal the names of their abusers? Should I reveal mine right here in a big expose’?More evidence of NVLD: doing miserably on an all-logic IQ testFighting the Darkness: Coming out of the darkness, or, life without narcissistsMy son’s pet flock of finchesPhil’s Emotional Manipulation and Gaslighting Begin in Full Force–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–March 1994, Part 3Article “Domestic Violence Strikes Home”“The Regime”: Left Behind Review, Part 3 (also goes into narcissism and shyness)On venting to others about husband/wife, ie, how Richard put me into an impossible positionReblog: STOP CHILD ABUSE!Controversial Play Tears the School Apart–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–March 1994, Part 2“The Regime”: Left Behind Review, Part 2Left Behind Novel “Rapture” Portrays Child Abuser as Godly Woman“The Regime”: Left Behind Review, Part 1Another website on toxic people in the churchReblog: Making your abuse story into God’s glory in your lifeSong for my narcissistic stalkers: Free by VASTWhiteheart Concert–Phil Meets Shawn–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–March 1994, Part 1Reblog: Introverts and NLDExcellent blog post for victims of abuse who are told they “deserved” itArticle on how to confront an abuserAn Excellent Article on Emotional AbuseCarolyn Hax (and the “nutterati”) Stick It to a Jealous GirlfriendProof my stalkers have backed off from trying to intimidate meAnother Pre-Engagement–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–February 1994, Part 7Another person who gets why we blog about our abuse/stalking experiencesStill more evidence of NVLDPhil Gaslights Me with Fake Dreams, Ridicule and Psychological Abuse–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–February 1994, Part 6Eulogy to my GrandmaHow and when I first realized Richard was a false friendIt’s Gone. The Depression is Gone!Phil Tries to Control my Friendships, Unfair Accusations from his Dad and Brother–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–February 1994, Part 5Getting better at recognizing the disorderedMore Evidence of NVLD….Standing up to Damaging Advice and Overcoming Trauma Directives (Reblog from Emerging From Broken)Blogs Murmur to Each Other Like the AedificiumSlapping Kids Upside the Head Causes Traumatic Brain InjuryNature as Balm for the SoulIdealizing Phase and Early Sign of Control–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–February 1994, Part 4More information on hypnotism used by narcissistsStruggling to Trust Again After Being Discarded by Loved OnesControversy over Alisa Valdes; Why I Share My Life Publicly; Signs of Abuse; Women Abusing MenSentencing of Madison Mother Who Starved Her ChildWhat an age we live in!Reblog: The Narc and Male FriendsStudents Recall Special Schools Run Like Prisons–Reblog: New York TimesThe Drunken Stork (Phil’s Controlling Nature Manifests)–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–February 1994, Part 3Trudging Through Five and a Half Years of Hell…..Do I See Light Up Ahead? (Surviving Depression After Abuse)My stalkers are persistent little buggers, just visited yesterday, but I’m not afraid of seeing them here anymore:…..Big Red Flag: Phil’s Dysfunctional Family Life–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–February 1994, Part 2Examples of Child AbuseSpring Classes–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–February 1994, Part 1Zimmerman’s expression is just like Richard’s November 2011 mug shotsOn smear campaigns from the abuser…and victims speaking outStepping out of my comfort zone: Writers’ ClubReblog: Ten Ways to Freedom From NarcissistsIs it worthwhile blocking your blog stalkers?Hitting Kids Upside the Head is ABUSEReblogs: Confronting Friend About Significant Other; About Responsibility for Others’ EmotionsFilm Class; I Spend a Night with Phil–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–January 1994, Part 2Finally healing from the narcissistic abuse and toxic friendshipVictory for Gay Rights: Supreme Court Ruling on DOMAParents, DON’T beat your children!Let’s be Open and Free with our Opposite-Sex FriendsHe Can’t Decide Between the Girl he Wants and the Girl he Doesn’t–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–January 1994, Part 1Are my stalkers starting to leave me alone after all?Reblog: Photo Essay Shows How Abusers Manipulate Victims“The Rising”: Left Behind ReviewLinks to help for abusive friendshipsI Have Won this Game with the NarcissistsAn Awesome Resource for those who suffer from narcissists in the churchI sense another wave of narcissistic attack coming my way…..Jeff Dunn’s “Playing God with Tornadoes,” and trying to hold to faith when filled with doubtOn Fearing Lawsuits When Writing Memoirs About AbuseReblog: A Writer’s Guide to Defamation and Invasion of PrivacyProgress Report on Inching Along with Healing Over Cluster B AbuseTriggered by Tonight’s Breaking Amish: Kim raging at Sabrina: Reminder of Cluster B RagesReblog: Toxic Friendships: When is a friend more trouble than he or she is worth?Extroverts bullying introverts; also, Letting go of Richard because he could not accept me as an introvertReblog: “Do Sociopaths and Narcissists Have Rules?”That Fateful First Date with Phil; Complication: A Rival; Call from Shawn!; Another Meeting with Peter–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–December 1993, Part 2So my blog stalkers are still stalking…..First Anniversary of Being “Found”Defanging the NarcissistDodging a Bullet: Friends of Narcissists Who Are Also Narcissists: Or, Discovery on Richard’s Friend ChrisThat Fateful First Date with Phil; Praying for the Buildings–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–December 1993, Part 1And Today Was a Good Day….Reblog: “How I Fell for a Narcissist”Cosmo Article on Domestic Violence in the WorkplaceA return to a peaceful spirit as my stalkers are defanged at last; also, glad to see my blog back!Take Care Before Signing “Contracts” to Volunteer at a Church….. (Spiritual Abuse)New Dating Prospects: Phil and Mike–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–November 1993, Part 2…Because slapping kids on the head is ABUSE! STOP THE VIOLENCE!How my narcissists craved attentionA Mass of Judgments in “Glorious Appearing”: Left Behind Review–part 3Taking Back My Power At LastReading The Brothers KaramazovReflections on Emily Yoffe’s article: Why I keep perseverating on the abuse, and why forgiving the abusers may be unneededSeeing Phil in a Play, Seance Makes Contact, Car Accident–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–November 1993, Part 1A proud parenting moment today–proving that screaming and beating children is unnecessaryAnother Example of Abuser Playing the Victim: Man Blows Up at Judge for SentenceMaybe this time the stalkers will stay away?Reblog from Light’s House: Narcissists are Two-Faced, Vindictive, Smear People Who Oppose Them, Etc.Intimidation of Abuse BloggersWasted Years Mourning a Narcissist: Reclaiming Our Lost Selves and ThrivingSpanking, Discipline and Physical Abuse: ie, Spanking Does Not WorkMore Support of me having the right to go to the church when abusedReblog: “Narcissistic Rage and Narcissistic Injury: What You Need to Know”The Fateful First Meeting of Phil; The Birth of Dolphin Philosophy; Our Group of Friends Splits Apart–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–October 1993, Part 2FOUR Resurrections in “Glorious Appearing”: Left Behind Review–part 2My blog post ended up in the Lawsuit Archive for Julie Anne’s blog :)Marking another anniversary: abuse reports; my story of reporting child abuse; also, take courage when you witness child abuse“Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?”–Galatians 4:16Poem: Killing the pain of loving a narcissistCarpe Diem: Re-Watching Dead Poets SocietyRaising Children Successfully Without Abuse, Spanking, Violence or ScreamingThe Hypnotism Conversation with Richard: Things Narcissists DoFreaked Out by Near-Miss This MorningCatching FLEAS from Narcissists and AbusersResearch Against Helicoptering ParentsWhy Americans Should Demand Socialized MedicineErotic Vampire Dream; Letter to Shawn; I Ask Out James; Peter Calls!–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–October 1993, Part 1The Erotic Gore-Fest of “Glorious Appearing”: Left Behind Review–part 1“As I Write, You Disappear”The Tea Party: a pawn for the Koch BrothersCharlie Peacock Concert; Random Stories–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–September 1993, Part 5Deceived: About Toxic “Best” FriendsSeeing Abuser is Rough for Abuse Victims, Especially When Abusers & Enablers Blame the Victim: Annie’s MailboxGuide to Understanding the IntrovertedWashington Post: “Let’s Just Say It: The Republicans Are the Problem.”Working on Releasing the Anger/Pain/Depression Toward My StalkersSo the Scouts are now considering whether to allow gays. I think it’s awesome if they do: No more official discrimination/bigotry.My Own Son Thinks I’m Weird! Sigh….. :)Rat-Obsessed Teacher and Doctor Zhivago; A Teacher Dated a Student; InterVarsity Fun–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–September 1993, Part 4Toxic Friendships: Unfriend: Breaking up is hard to do–especially when it comes to friendsSvengalis, Love Bombing, Hypnotism, and NarcissistsTrauma Bonding: This must be my problem with breaking the connection to my stalkersPoisonous Friend: Dedicated to my StalkersExposing Narcissists/Abusers: Why We Should Do ItReblog: Conspiracy Theories, Autism, Fear, and Life on the Crazy TrainPsycho Roommates and Bug Wars, Return of Rick, Adjusting to New Dorm, Spitball-Throwing Teacher–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–September 1993, Part 3Trying to Explain the Wreck of My Faith to a Worried HusbandFreaked out by spotting my blog stalker on the street just nowShawn Calls; Living with Friends in Krueger; Funny Library Stories–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–September 1993, Part 2Selective Mutism: Disorder or Extroverts Pathologizing Introverts?–Examining the Natural and Childhood Sources of my QuietnessOn Lost Friendship, God, Hell, and RepentanceClassmate a stand-in for “Rudy,” Jigging at College Dance, Library Tales, Happiness Returns–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–September 1993, Part 1Why Not to Rush a Victim’s Recovery From AbuseIt’s Perfectly Normal to Dread Seeing Abusers AgainMy book “The Lighthouse” just got chosen for a little book clubAnne Lamott and others on telling your abuse storyWhy post abuse stories? (Was: Wondering if my blog stalkers will read about Phil now….)Precognitive Dreams of Phil Before I Met Him–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–Summer 1993More Links on NarcissismWorking on Healing from Richard and Tracy’s Damage…Day by Day, Crawling UpwardsJealousy Leads to MurderHow Extrovert Misunderstanding Turns Into Abuse–And Why Introverts/Extroverts Need to UNDERSTAND Each OtherMen Don’t Tell…About Being AbusedMyths and Realities of Domestic Abuse Against MenClarissa & SociopathyWhat a City This Is….Identifying a Narcissistic Sociopath: Paula’s PontificationsWhy My Stalkers’ Threat is Bogus: Going to my Priest is Well Within My RightsToxic Mix of Abusers and IntrovertsWashington Times Article on Abuse Blogs Just Like MineShawn Breaks Our Friendship and Departs; The Pump Blows Up; Learning Spanish–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–May 1993St. Maximos: What separates us from the love of friends….Introverts Are Born That WayFemale Friends Chased Off by Controlling Girlfriends/Wives: I’m Not the Only One: Monday’s Annie’s MailboxDefamation and the Abuse Blogger: I’m Safe and Here’s WhyHoping Asperger’s Does Not Get Linked to Newtown TragedyAn Abuser’s Lies Are DemonicShawn Leaves: His Brother Turns Deathly Ill; My Humiliation as Rachel Exposes How the Sorority Abused Me–College Memoirs–April 1993, Part 2My Husband, Marvin the Paranoid AndroidWorkplace Bullying Leads to Suicide of Gentle, Quiet ManA Good Day for Healing from AbuseWhy I Blog About My Depression–Even While Watched by the Ones Who Caused It (My Blog Stalkers)Wives Abusing Husbands, Husbands Abusing WivesJourney to Healing: Things Are Looking Up Socially…..Never Be Bullied Into Silence. Speak Up About Abuse!Poking Fun at Creepy Blog StalkersReblog: Abuse as it Affects People with Asperger’s Syndrome and AutismIn Honor of Child Abuse RemembranceWomen Abusing MenMy Struggles with InfertilityJust Had Another Dream About Richard….I wake up and it’s just a dream….I Hate These ThingsEnding Friends-with-Benefits for Good–After One Last Time; I Meet Rick, My Admirer From Afar–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–April 1993, Part 1Declaration of Freedom From Tracy’s Power Over MeExample of Stockholm SyndromeAnother Survivor Whose Abuser Found Her BlogJust found a blog by someone in my situation: struggling to get over an N friendWhy I Struggle to Let Go of Richard; Also, Musings on NVLD/Asperger’sMy Translation of a French Section of a Letter From Peter Abelard to HeloiseSpring Break; My Drawings of Ann Radcliffe Characters; I’m Cold to Shawn and it Bugs Him; the Power Goes Out–and the Water–in an Ice Storm–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke: Or, How NVLD Affected My Life–March 1993, Part 2Shawn Rips Me Apart for NVLD traits; School Scandal–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–March 1993, Part 1As I Witnessed, Abusers Control Spouse’s Friends/FamilyWhy Abuse Victims *Should* BlogGrief Continues Over False Friend“The Juvenilization of American Christianity”: Orthodox Observer, Christianity TodaySexual Relations with Shawn (sexual user): The Downward Spiral to a Crash; Counseling–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–February 1993, Part 2SWEET! Obama is Re-Elected!Blogging as Therapy for the Abused/Bullied: Beginning to Heal from Richard/Tracy StuffSign of Sociopathy: Taking Pleasure in the Pain of Others; I’ve Seen It Many Times; Why It’s Okay to Be Angry About BullyingReBlog: Bloggers’ RightsHow I can vote pro-choice without changing my mind about abortionsForeshadowing Orthodox and Calvinist Doctrines: Philosophical and Religious Background of the Birth of Christianity: Reading “Early Christian Doctrines” by JND KellySpring Classes; Crush on a Teacher; Lit Teacher Becomes My Writing Mentor; “Ugh” Poem–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–February 1993, Part 1Realizing I Was Used and Manipulated by My “Best” Friend Richard: The Proof Is In The E-MailQuotes and blogs by people stalked by narcissists/abusersMy Abusers’ Threats are Empty and ExtortionFor Fellow Bloggers of Abuse/Narcissistic Experiences: Dealing with Gaslighting Legal ThreatsCorruption in the Campus Administration; Pregnancy Scare–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–January 1993, Part 2The Dangers of Leaving an Abuser: the Milwaukee ShootingCenter provides safe place to interview abused childrenJust took a Narcissist Quiz….I am so totally not a narcissist.Wow, somebody’s going to quote one of my book reviewsReblog by Linda Holmes: Disposable Friendships in Modern Society; Opposite-Sex Friends (Assumed to be Lovers); Friendship Getting Respect; Friendship BreakupsI finally got myself a three-bar cross: My Orthodox conversion is complete! ;) (convertitis)Parent-Teacher Conference: Our Kid’s a “Crazy Inventor”Psychological Hell as Shawn Turns Dark and Moody (sexual user); Irish Writers Class–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–January 1993, Part 1Poem about abuse: The Fire Elemental (About Richard/Tracy)Poems of Werewolves and Longing (The Beast of Backbiting); Reading Clarissa, My Drawings of Her–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–December 1992, Part 3Werewolf: The Beast of Backbiting“I promise not to oppress you with too much remorse or too much passion, though since you left us the white rose bush has died of grief.”Confronting Shawn’s Psychological Abuse; A Proposed Cool-Off–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–December 1992, Part 2Richard: The Collateral DamageThe Fire Burns Hotter; The Dreadful Night (Shawn Almost Goes Too Far); Accidents Will Happen–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–December 1992, Part 1Selective Mutism Strikes at a Zeta Party; Peter Turns the Screws–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–November 1992, Part 2Emotional BlackmailShawn Goes Animal-House on me During my Shower; Obscene Phone Caller–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–November 1992, Part 1Anniversary of the fall of a spiritual mentorWe’re Dating!–No, We’re Not. Yes, We Are. ACK!–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–October 1992, Part 4Ill-Fated Pledge Class (hazing) –College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–October 1992, Part 3The Secret Gets Out–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–October 1992, Part 2Friends With Sexual Benefits: Fun at First, But Began to Destroy our Friendship: College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–October 1992, Part 1Friendship with Peter?–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–September 1992, Part 4Shawn Screws With My Head–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–September 1992, Part 3Frustrating German Teacher–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–September 1992, Part 2Back to School: My Friends and Job–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–September 1992, Part 1Reblog: Alice Miller: Concerning Forgiveness: The Liberating Experience of Painful TruthBrian and Shyeskol: An Earthling and Martian Love StoryMy Pictures of Martians: Middle SchoolMy Martian Alphabet and Rosetta StoneMy Mental/Visual/Touch Stimming: Could it be Asperger’s?On the Fear of Driving: Why I First Looked Into NVLDStory: The Last Night: Romance on a Rome-like PlanetSt. John’s Abbey’s Bible: First Handwritten, Illuminated Bible Since the Printing PressSolace in books and creativity, Pictures of my genie Zara–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–Summer 1992Freedom from Richard’s Political StrangleholdThe Pain of Being In/Watching Destructive Marriages, Domestic Violence and Stockholm SyndromeFrom Emerging From Broken: How Victim Mentality works in Relation to Family SecretsLinks to My Favorite Single Dad Laughing blog posts about abuse and bullyingAbout Emerging From Broken: The Confusion Created around Forgiveness IssuesWife Vs. Secretary: Musings on JealousyFrom Emerging From Broken: Forgive the Abusers? A bit of a RantToday’s Fun: Highland Games, Weird FriendsFrom Emerging From Broken: Why Setting Personal Boundaries is Not as Easy as it SoundsYou Don’t Have to Dance for Them: Moving OnYou Don’t Have to Dance for Them: The Beauty of BloggingYou Don’t Have to Dance for Them: Wrong TreeYou Don’t Have to Dance for Them: LuckyNeeding to Feel Safe: Going to same church as abusersDesperate Measures–When Abusers Sense They’re Losing Their Grip on You (About a Luke173 Ministries Article)Toxic Friendships/RelationshipsStopping Abuse/ Helping Abused Friend, Family Member, Co-worker, ChildPersonal Stories of AbuseNarcissistsIf You’ve Been Reported to CPSBullyingWondering if NVLD is hereditaryDe Profundis: Oscar Wilde on toxic friendship–Part 2Isolation of Abuse VictimsExistential Crisis and Despair: Loss of God and Friendship (dedicated to Richard)As for my two blog stalkers…..Quirky “Friendship” with Shawn Heats Up Again–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–May 1992Musings on Researching NVLD; Link to NewsgroupObsessed With Old Shows From Childhood–The Hunt ContinuesPeter’s Smear Campaign–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–April 1992Shawn: Just Friends (with Benefits) or Dating?–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–March 1992, Part 2Shawn: Just Friends or Dating?–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–March 1992, Part 1Left Behind Review: ArmageddonAnother Blogger Who Refused to Back Down From Abusers’ ThreatsShawn Makes His Move–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–February 1992, Part 2The Great Zipper Caper–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–February 1992, Part 1How my emotional trauma proves the abuse–and I realize Richard conned meA Breakup with Probable NVLD–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–January 1992, Part 2A Breakup with Probable NVLD–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–January 1992, Part 1Blogs by People with NVLD or Asperger’sRide the Greyhound–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–December 1991Fighting the Darkness: Breaking the Power of NarcissistsI Tell the Forum and Friends That Richard and Tracy Are Stalking MeThe Relief of Being With Friends Who Do Not Abuse YouAurora Borealis, Ghosts and Promises of Marriage–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–November 1991Deadly Nightshade and Pressure to Love–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–October 1991, part 2Peter, My Ninja Boyfriend, Hypnotizes Me and Starts a Mental Link–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–October 1991, part 1Dating a Ninja–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–September 1991, part 5Articles about abuse memoirs and abuse blogs: why we need to write themCampus, People, First College Boyfriend–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–September 1991, part 4The Care and Feeding of Shy PeopleCampus Stories, Wisconsin, Campus Radio Station–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–September 1991, part 3And wave to the stalkers….Orientation & Meeting a Ninja–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–September 1991, part 2A Story-Game From my Childhood: I Was a Moon in the Solar SystemMeet the Suite–College Memoirs: Life at Roanoke–September 1991, part 1How to Deal With Narcissism in the ChurchDe Profundis: Oscar Wilde on toxic friendship–Part 1Review of Northanger Abbey by Jane AustenIntroverts: We Are Fine the Way We Are!I Will NOT Be SilentNVLD: Part 4NVLD: Part 3NVLD: Part 2NVLD: Part 1Personal Abuse StoriesMusic’s Painful AssociationsHow DARVO could prove which of us is telling the truthThe Difficulties and Rewards of Breaking Ties with NarcissistsBook Review: Mysteries of Udolpho by Ann Radcliffe–Part 2Book Review: Mysteries of Udolpho by Ann Radcliffe–Part 1I’m not the only blogger who’s been “found” by the abuserConfronting Your Bully/AbuserHow Abusers End Up Blaming YouThis Blog is Shut Down.Links on NarcissismFurther abused by my abusers when I stuck up for myselfMy Answer to Richard and Tracy’s Narcissistic E-mailRichard and Tracy are stalking me online and at churchNow I’m Being Stalked.Richard & Tracy Have Been Banned.Excerpt from “Tojet”This Blog is No Longer Safe.To Richard and/or Tracy: Why are you here?Richard and/or Tracy were here.To Richard and Tracy, who are reading my blogsHm. The abusers found my blog.Recall Primary Tomorrow–and how this nastiness is affecting friendshipsWhat if The Abusers Changed?Buy My Books! Buy My Books!My College Memoirs: Life At RoanokeSouth Dakota Trip, 2001–Chased by Storm-ChasersLeft Behind Review: Remnant, Part 2Fighting the Darkness: Fear of DeathFighting the Darkness: Can I Trust Social Services and the Courts?Left Behind Review: Remnant, Part 1TriggersBlogging the Parasite out of my Head: Writing about the abuseFinding out people you love have a dark sideWho’s the Neanderthal here?: On Jealousy and Opposite-Sex FriendsMy boss of 4 years was a narcissist, too, and wound up in jailWhether and when to forgive an abuserOn Being Judged for ShynessNo epilogue of healing–yetContemplating the evils of jealousy and abuseStruggling to get past the abuseWas he abused or a narcissist?Richard the child chokerWhy I could not get over this a**holeRichard is also violentTracy refuses to apologizeTracy crazy-makes meTracy’s abuse of Richard and the childrenHoarder houseguestsTracy’s need to control everyoneRichard gets too friendlyBullied for being shy and quietThe abuser refuses to feel remorseThe abuser hangs out of a van windowThe bullying, abusive wifeThe elusive bosom friendLosing Your Best Friend?–Or, Narcissistic Webs (Original Version)Fighting the Darkness: Mutual Friends with the AbusersTrip to San Francisco–June 1999–Freaks and Buzzards1988 Trip to Mammoth Cave–When the Lights Went Out UndergroundMusings on Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl–Part 4Musings on Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl–Part 3Musings on Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl–Part 2Musings on Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl–Part 12011 Trip to Tennessee–Land of the AppalachiansLeft Behind Review: DesecrationFighting the Darkness: Newspaper Blurb: Richard’s Conviction (Child Abuse Charges)Fighting the Darkness: Stockholm Syndrome?Fighting the Darkness: Seeing the abuser againFighting the Darkness: Healing can take a long time (Healing from abuse)After his conviction, Richard comes to my churchThe Light is Shining Through–Finding Faith Again After the Fall of a Spiritual Mentor: Fighting the DarknessRichard is convicted of choking his daughterI learn that Richard choked his daughterLeft Behind: The Mark Review–Part 6 (Last)“The Third Man” and having to report a friendLeft Behind: The Mark Review–Part 5I report them to CPS; Richard is charged with abusing his daughterLeft Behind: The Mark Review–Part 4Left Behind: The Mark Review–Part 3Realizing how Richard manipulated me into doing things I shouldn’tDescribing Richard’s narcissismThen Richard choked his daughterSeeing abuser again: Running into Richard and Tracy at church/the store/Greekfest a year laterLeft Behind: The Mark Review–Part 2Left Behind: The Mark Review–Part 1MusingsFear of it all happening again with new friends–but relief as wellRichard’s lack of action made him a passive abuserGrief felt today over loss of friendTracy: a woman who abuses a manThree things that scare me….Thinking of celebrating the first anniversary of friendship crash and burnHow Richard and Tracy’s views on parenting are wrongThe long, dark night of my soul as I doubt God exists–because my spiritual mentor betrayed meI start doubting Tracy was ever truly a Christian–so it’s okay to separate myself from her fellowshipWorking through the grief, pain and angerCan we destroy something God put in place?An old friend shows me that Richard and Tracy were deceivers, never friendsFighting the Darkness (Depression After Abuse)Left Behind: Indwelling Review–Part 4Musings on how Christians should treat each otherLeft Behind: Indwelling Review–Part 3Left Behind: Indwelling Review–Part 2Left Behind: Indwelling Review–Part 1Grief that my abusers keep coming to my church but not apologizing to meGone With the Wind, Part 2I see Tracy hanging out of the window of their minivan, like a crazy womanChild AbuseGone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell, Part 1Hope of Future Healing and Moving On from the AbuseJane Eyre Review–Part 3Jane Eyre Review–Part 2Jane Eyre Review–Part 1Was Richard’s betrayal driven by Narcissism–or Stockholm Syndrome?Crazy For God ReviewThis Present Darkness ReviewLeft Behind: Assassins Review–Part 5Left Behind: Assassins Review–Part 4Left Behind: Assassins Review–Part 3Grief over being abused–and the abuser getting away with itGrief over being falsely accusedLeft Behind: Assassins Review–Part 2Grief over losing my best and closest friend–for no good reasonTracy tried to force me to submit to her abuseTracy blamed others for her abuseI refuse to give in to Tracy’s emotional blackmailI suggest a six-month breakHow Tracy’s e-mails displayed narcissismLeft Behind: Assassins Review–Part 1The monster comes back out: Tracy punishes me for long-dead issuesAbout Richard justifying Tracy’s verbal abuse because I am shy and quietShock: Richard and Tracy at my churchPondering forgiveness vs. giving in to the dark vortexE-mail to Mike: processing my painStruggling to process what the F**K just happenedI send an apology–and we’re all blocked on FacebookMy Bullying Story: Resolving conflict: The difference between friends and frenemiesTracy refused to accept the NVLD and introversion–but they are realWhy I refused to “confer” with Tracy–and how Richard betrayed meWhy we should not be forced to befriend a BFF’s abusive spouse: My story of abuseE-mails to Todd describing what happenedE-mails spilling all the abuse, to my closest friendsE-Mails Describing pain of breaking up with a close friendE-Mails to Friends About the Incident, written in first two monthsWhy we should tell everyone we have been abusedPart Four: Their DARVO lies lead us to break off relations with our abusersPart Three: Jeff’s WTF moment: Judas (Richard) knows I’m innocent, but psychotically rages at JeffPart Two: Tracy enjoys verbally abusing me, then tries to silence me–so I tell everyonePart One: Tracy’s narcissistic rage against me–but I am innocent of all her chargesResolution: I apologize–and write the fateful e-mail about the fateful hugsI confront Richard with how he’s been treating me–so he stonewalls me and threatens to beat up my husbandTime to scapegoat me into thinking I’m the problem–and I realize my “BFF” is a fraudI feel increasing coldness from Richard and Tracy as I “unfriend” their Republican candidates and “friend” Obama and FeingoldRichard rips into me publicly and I suspect our friendship is all a fakeRichard grows distant and Tracy’s insane jealousy flares upRichard goes off the deep end and disses us for not buying into his extreme right-wing politicsRichard decides I’m no longer worth his time or respect–because of POLITICS–as he gets into the TEA PartyI begin to wonder if the Richard I know–is real or a fake personaWithout warning or explanation, tensions build as Richard and Tracy both begin acting like lunaticsRichard mansplains me, denies that his friends sexually harassed me, and refuses to respect my wishesE-mails proving my innocence, that Tracy lied in July/August 2010, that I respected boundaries, and that I asked for a “signal”We *seem* to have things sorted out–and they *seem* to finally take responsibility for causing drama (but there’s more to come later)Revealing e-mails I drafted to Richard: proving I felt abused and bullied, and witnessed abuseDisturbing Revelations from Richard about Tracy and our time sharing a houseSexual Harassment from some of Richard’s friendsRichard gaslights me into thinking I’m a stalkerIn August 2008, I ponder ending the friendship, but discover Tracy has long since “approved” meTracy drives away another friend (Todd) with narcissistic rage, manipulation, lies and a smear campaignNow Richard Screws with my MindI must be accepted as I am–introversion, NVLD and all–or you’re outTracy Mindscrews me with Constantly Changing Rules, “Okays” me then takes it back without telling me, Violates my Privacy by reading my e-mails to RichardFed-up, I decide to end the friendship if Tracy does not stop bullying meTracy is nasty to me on the phoneTwo Narcissists Tag-Team Bully an Introvert with NLDHow to Bully an Introvert–and Assets of NVLDI get an inkling of Richard’s own abuse of his childrenEarly warning signs of Tracy’s abuse and volatilityEarly 2010: I speak up about Tracy’s child abuse–and ponder reporting her to authoritiesLeft Behind: Apollyon Review–Part 5More details of Tracy’s abuse of her childrenE-mails and phone call describe how Tracy abuses her husband and childrenTracy bullies me and tries to control Richard by weeding out friends she doesn’t likeRichard’s past in the Mafia–and his plot to kill the apartment managerMore on Richard’s hypnotism–and his narcissistic stareRichard says he hypnotized me without my knowledgeMy Friend Richard, the NarcissistThe emotional vampires suck me dry–and accuse me of being too sensitiveTracy snarks and Richard nitpicksTheir doublespeak and double standardsTracy’s unreasonable jealousy even as I take pains to be above reproachI almost break off the friendship because of TracyTracy’s smear campaign and emotional blackmail begin full-forceRichard gives me the fateful hugs good-byeLeft Behind: Apollyon Review–Part 4Verge of nervous breakdown as houseguests from Hell abuse our hospitalityTracy overhears me telling Jeff she’s abusive–and wreaks vengeance with smear campaignTracy’s control-freak behavior–to me, in my houseTracy’s narcissistic/BPD rage episode at Richard (IN MY HOUSE)–and Richard reveals his own abuseTracy turns jealous of and hostile toward me because I’m an introvert with NVLDHouseguests From HellRichard reveals his wife’s abusesDiscovering they live in squalorI finally find my Frodo–who moves inI was Sam in search of a Frodo, Anne in search of a DianaWhy I put this story on the Web–at great personal riskRichard dismisses my experiencesMy NVLD in a nutshellBullying an Introvert and Probable NVLDerLeft Behind: Apollyon Review–Part 3Left Behind: Apollyon Review–Part 2Left Behind: Apollyon Review–Part 1Left Behind: Soul Harvest Review–Part 7Left Behind: Soul Harvest Review–Part 6Left Behind: Soul Harvest Review–Part 5Left Behind: Soul Harvest Review–Part 4Left Behind: Soul Harvest Review–Part 3Left Behind: Soul Harvest Review–Part 2Left Behind: Soul Harvest Review–Part 1Left Behind: Nicolae Review–Part 4 (Last)Left Behind: Nicolae Review–Part 3Left Behind: Nicolae Review–Part 2Left Behind: Nicolae Review–Part 1Left Behind: Tribulation Force Review–Part 4Left Behind: Tribulation Force Review–Part 3Left Behind: Tribulation Force Review–Part 2Left Behind: Tribulation Force Review–Part 1Review of Left BehindNyssa’s Conversion Story–Or, how I discovered Holy Orthodoxy: Part 4Nyssa’s Conversion Story–Or, how I discovered Holy Orthodoxy: Part 3Nyssa’s Conversion Story–Or, how I discovered Holy Orthodoxy: Part 2Plugging My BooksNyssa’s Conversion Story–Or, how I discovered Holy Orthodoxy–Part 1Was Cassie Bernall a martyr?Some Awesome Things heard in the Lamentations Service (Good Friday evening) during Holy WeekVerbal AbuseUnderstanding the AbusedRecovery From Abuse/Getting OutPhysical AbuseGetting Into the Psyche of the AbuserGaslightingEmotional AbuseDomestic Abuse (anyone who lives together or is in a romantic relationship, including roommates or family members)Abuse Specifically Against Husbands/BoyfriendsAbuse (General)Is it okay to be jealous of the opposite-sex friends of my spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend?Why not to let your spouse tell you to stop being friends with somebody: Rethinking the Importance of Friendship vs. Erotic Love in Our SocietyWhat is Worship?Are Spiritual Marriages “Real”?Is Wine from the Devil–or a Gift from God?What about Missional Churches, Simple Churches, Fluid Churches, Organic Churches, House Churches or Neighborhood Churches?The Uncreated Energies of God: An Ancient View which is in the Bible, yet new to the WestTechnical Virginity and the Christian SingleFraternities, Sororities, Masonic LodgeEvangelistic Trips to Already Christianized CountriesDoes the Pill cause abortions, or is that just another weird Internet or extremist right-wing rumor?On the DidacheOn Ecumenism (Inter-Denominational Christian Dialogues)Musings on Sin, Salvation and DiscipleshipWhat About Predestination?How could a loving God who prohibits murder, command the genocide of the Canaanite peoples?On Women in Marriage/The ChurchOn Literalism in Biblical InterpretationOn the Idea that God has Someone in Mind for YouIs everybody going to Hell except Christians?On Abortion ProtestsOn the Republican PartyOn The Relevance Doctrine, i.e. Marketing Churches to SeekersHell and the Nature of GodIs Christmas/Easter a Pagan Holiday?Why do bad things happen?On Name it and Claim It Doctrine, Prosperity Doctrine, Faith-Formula Theology, Word-Faith Theology, Positive Confession Theology, Health and Wealth Gospel, and whatever else they call itShould we criticize our brethren’s artistic or evangelistic attempts? Or, how *should* we evangelize, then?On Pat RobertsonHalloween: Not the Devil’s Holiday!Angels and Demons: Is “This Present Darkness” by Frank Peretti a divine revelation or fiction?On Spiritual AbuseOn Dr. Richard Eby and others who claim to have been to HeavenOn CreationismOn The Purpose-Driven LifeOn The Message BibleOn the “still, small voice” and Charismatic sign giftsOn Christian MusicRaising One’s Hands in WorshipCat and Dog TheologyGod’s Purpose (Supremacy of God Doctrine)End Times and Christian ZionismOn church buildingsTithing