The abuser hangs out of a van window

Tracy: the narcissistic borderline abuser–and seeing her hang out of a van window

Warning: The following summarizes and vents a period of narcissistic abuse and mind control.

Tracy’s mother has been diagnosed and even hospitalized for borderline and multiple personality disorders.  Richard told me he sees the traits in Tracy and all her sisters.  He also told a mutual friend, Todd, that he sees some of her mother’s disorder traits in Tracy.

From this and the above evidence, along with supporting evidence from Todd, I believe that Tracy also has borderline personality disorder.

Todd also knows about Tracy’s family history, her mother’s disorder, and borderline traits.

He says that yes, Tracy has them all.  Not just “some” as Richard said, but “all.”

So I’m not just grabbing some stuff off a couple of websites and making an armchair diagnosis: I have a whole slew of evidence that this is true.

Now some with this disorder recognize they have problems, and work with doctors/therapists to get it under control.

But a person with a disorder is an individual who can choose to handle it one way or another.  Tracy blames her anger problems and abuse on others, and seems narcissistic as well.  So while the disorder may not be her fault, her choices are.

I witnessed even more compelling evidence of borderline personality disorder in Tracy, one day about a year ago:

This was either October 5 or December 7, 2010, according to the school calendar, several months after we broke off the friendship.  My son had a half-day, so I set off walking down the sidewalk past my house to fetch him around 11am, when who should I see driving past me on the street?

I had a clear view: They were facing me, so on my side of the street.  There are no trees in that area between the sidewalk and the street.  And no other cars were nearby.

I saw Richard driving that familiar minivan, and Tracy in the passenger seat.

Well, sort of in the seat: She was hanging half her body out the window

head, shoulders, upper part of the torso, possibly down to about her waist, turned with her shoulders pointing one above and one below, arms flailing, not holding on (which struck me as extremely odd and dangerous behavior)

while Richard gave her an upset or angry or scared look.

Obviously he was upset with her for hanging out the window.

I thought Tracy, at least, must have seen me in those few seconds, since she was hanging out the window and facing me, with me just a few feet away from her.

I looked directly at them, rather than ignoring them as I usually do, because these few seconds were so unexpected.  If she tried to say anything to me, I didn’t hear over my Discman.  Did she try to yell at me?

What the heck was this about?  There was no explanation for why on earth she’d hang half out the window.  It was yet more bizarre behavior from this woman.

Other than on TV, I’ve never seen anybody else do anything like this in a moving vehicle.  The speed limit around there is 25mph, and in a van, the ground is farther down.

I’m told that such behavior is common among people with borderline personality disorder.

This act is proof that I must consider the source before taking anything she said seriously.

It shows that it’s all her own issues, and not mine.

She fits many or all of the traits I find listed for malignant narcissist and/or borderline personality disorder, being from a family filled with abuse, yet refuses to take responsibility for them.

So it’s impossible for me to ever have a normal friendship with her.