I’ve noticed quite a bit of hits from keywords referring to abuse. This is, unfortunately, a common problem, and people need to find help.
There are also many hits from keywords referring to narcissistic or borderline personality disorders, disorders which often lead to abusive behaviors.
So I will make a series of posts from my webpage on abuse, which gathers together links I have found most helpful. I have them arranged by category.
The first part is on the general topic of abuse. The last section of the webpage, my own personal abuse stories, has already been posted here.
There are harsh tones, there’s yelling, and one little girl (correctly) pointed out that there is a difference between yelling and screaming. Which do you think is worse? Why? See what I mean?–You do know the intricacies of body language.
….If you think about it, yelling has got to be one of the most self-defeating behaviors ever tried. Check out this scene: He yells. Now she’s mad, so she yells. Well, he is really mad, so now he really yells. Where, oh where is this going? No where. Of course. –DrDeb, Yelling does NOT get what you want
You may be asking, why does this person treat me this way. Patricia Evans describes in her books that as a result of a traumatic experience the person does not develop emotionally into what we see as normal….
A person that has truly been born again and filled with the Holy Spirit cannot deliver anger to another….
Emotions, in this case anger, are not something that just happens. We are accountable for our emotions. Anger is a choice. We can choose to be angry or choose understanding and love.
Without understanding that we are fully responsible for our actions to each other, that our emotions are not a result of our past, we cannot step out of the chains that bind us.
We cannot blame the things of our past for our current behavior, or use the things from our past as a crutch to justify inappropriate behavior. —Verbal Abuse Healing, Denise Zink (Also see this page for tips on standing up for yourself against verbal abuse. For example, say “Stop” and nothing else.)
ONCE AGAIN: IF YOU FEEL SCARED OF YOUR SPOUSE/FRIEND/FAMILY MEMBER, SOMETHING IS WRONG. YOU SHOULD NOT FEEL YOU MUST LIE FOR THEM, OR DO ANYTHING UNDERHANDED OR MANIPULATIVE OR ILLEGAL. YOU SHOULD NOT FEAR THEIR TEMPER.