I have allowed myself to feel all the anger, pain and depression. I have written about, processed and analyzed everything that happened. My stalkers have even read most of it–which, for many people, is a huge part of being able to release and heal after abuse/bullying.
But the point is not to stay in this place forever; the point is to get it out and release it all.
Now I’m working on transferring all the anger, pain and depression from my heart onto my many written words, just as I did long ago when writing my college memoirs about abusive exes.
The old pain from abuse in college, even the old pain from bullying in school before then, has long since been released and no longer affects my present; I only channel it for a short time for the sake of my writing, to help others who now are where I was back then.
What I’ve seen of these abuse/narcissism blogs is people will write them for a while, then move past it because their healing has begun, but will leave them up for the sake of others who are where they were then.
At this point, all there is left to write about is topics, such as hypnotism or emotional blackmail or the like, which can help others make sense of what’s happening to them, and take the steps they need to stop being victims of abuse.
I’ve already written my story. It’s in various forms and posts. I’ve also posted most of my e-mails and letters needed to prove my case.
There are a few other e-mails and messages which I have not posted, smoking guns, but I can’t post them because I fear my stalkers would recognize who wrote them–and do something horrible to the writers. I will not be indirectly responsible for that.
So now I will try to focus on general topics that could still help people who have been in my situation, updates on the process of healing, and other things, such as my college memoirs.
Anger helps in healing and disconnecting from your abuser, but if left in your system too long, begins to poison you.
And that’s just what Tracy wants: poison running through my system, time bombs carrying on her work in my head long after I’ve cut her out of my life like a diseased leg.
Tomorrow, friends are hosting a cribbage tournament, so I want to focus on that, focus on being with cool people and having fun.