{"id":4788,"date":"2006-06-13T19:38:47","date_gmt":"2006-06-14T00:38:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/wordpress\/?page_id=109"},"modified":"2026-02-20T03:41:30","modified_gmt":"2026-02-20T09:41:30","slug":"october-1991","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1991\/","title":{"rendered":"October 1991"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1991\/#an1\">Peter, my Ninja Boyfriend, Hypnotizes Me and Starts a Mental Link<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1991\/#an2\">Deadly Nightshade<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1991\/#an3\">Pressure to Love <\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><strong><a name=\"an1\"><\/a><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\">Peter, my Ninja Boyfriend, Hypnotizes Me and Starts a Mental Link<\/span><\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>According to MTV, Nirvana&#8217;s &#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=hTWKbfoikeg\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Smells Like Teen Spirit<\/a>&#8221; debuted on <i>120 Minutes<\/i> and on the airwaves in early October. \u00a0It debuted at number 144 on the charts, and went gold only 17 days later.<\/p>\n<p>This song introduced grunge alternative rock to mainstream music. \u00a0It was unique, it was new, and it was <em>so<\/em> not what was popular at the time. \u00a0Bandmembers wore T-shirts and jeans instead of classy clothes or costumes for concerts or videos; their hair was long and stringy instead of long and permed and\/or perfectly coiffed.<\/p>\n<p>It blew people away, me included. \u00a0I thought it rocked in a way I had never heard anywhere before. \u00a0This unknown band named Nirvana eventually became one of my favorite bands in college.<\/p>\n<p>Not everybody liked it, though: One of Candice&#8217;s friends sat ripping on it one day in February or March when it came on MTV. \u00a0She soon discovered that I liked it, and said, &#8220;When they get to the chorus here, let&#8217;s both headbang to it.&#8221; \u00a0When they got to the chorus, she headbanged.<\/p>\n<p>With her head down like that, she couldn&#8217;t see me. \u00a0I didn&#8217;t join in because I didn&#8217;t want to look silly. \u00a0I may have suspected that she was making fun of me and\/or the song. \u00a0Besides, headbanging gives you a headache. \u00a0Unless Candice told her, I don&#8217;t think she ever knew I didn&#8217;t join along.<\/p>\n<p>Songs from this time which stand out for me: &#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=F04GnfkmBTU\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Real Real Real<\/a>&#8221; by Jesus Jones, &#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=Mz_u_SnH_q8\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Kiss Them for Me<\/a>&#8221; by Siouxsie and the Banshees, the entire <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=K_C11PYT6Wg&amp;list=PLA20032D6D57A6FC5\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\"><i>Powerhouse<\/i> CD<\/a> by Whiteheart (which I had only just acquired).<\/p>\n<p>On October 1, Peter and I decided that the summer hit &#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=UEl0gW5k8Sc\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Everything I Do (I Do It For You)<\/a>&#8221; by Bryan Adams would be &#8220;our&#8221; song. \u00a0That evening, Peter finally kissed me in a secluded spot in the woods after dark. \u00a0But, while my journal goes into detail, I won&#8217;t describe the scene, because it&#8217;s one of my private memories. \u00a0Yes, it was just kissing, no farther. \u00a0I will tell you that we saw foxfire.<\/p>\n<p>Peter would put two fingers together and press them to his temple, telling me he was using his ninja ESP to see someone who&#8217;s far away.<\/p>\n<p>Once, after some guy teased him while driving past, he put his fingers to his temple, closed his eyes, and said in distaste that the guy was, of course, drinking. \u00a0He said if anybody ever tried to rape me, he&#8217;d know, and be there immediately (he was also interested in learning telekinesis).<\/p>\n<p>How much of this he really believed and how much was just playing on my gullibility, I couldn&#8217;t tell you&#8211;I do know that he told others about traveling through time in his dreams:<\/p>\n<p>This started in probably December or January.\u00a0 He videotaped himself while sleeping, and saw that his body went rigid whenever these dreams started.\u00a0 The way he looked was far different than for other dreams or other times of the night.<\/p>\n<p>He met a ninja master in ancient or medieval Japan, he understood the language even though it was old Japanese, and the master taught him things.<\/p>\n<p>You could say he was just trying to pull my leg, trying to make his girlfriend think she was dating an amazing person whom she would never want to break up with, except for one thing: He told another person about this, too, and she wrote about it in Fiction class the following year.\u00a0 She never dated him.<\/p>\n<p>Peter said his relatives were a bit strange, having a Halloween party every year as a family reunion instead of the typical cookout-type-thing. \u00a0This year, it was on Saturday, October 5 at about 5:30 or 6:00. \u00a0I was a bit of a celebrity at it, being Peter&#8217;s first girlfriend. \u00a0This was his dad&#8217;s side of the family.<\/p>\n<p>His mom lent me a gorgeous, green, princess dress from her wardrobe. \u00a0To our surprise, it fit me perfectly. \u00a0I used two white hair-fabrics, which were a style of puckered fabric-wrapped ponytail holder popular in those days; I put my hair in two pigtails and then wrapped the hair-fabrics around them, to imitate as close as possible Helena Bonham Carter&#8217;s version of Ophelia.<\/p>\n<p>I discovered that the dress fit me perfectly because I forgot to zip it when I tried it on. \u00a0Fortunately, the train of the dress hid the zipper. \u00a0I borrowed a crown from Peter&#8217;s mother. \u00a0Because my ancestors included Scottish kings and queens, I said that I was the princess and Peter (the ninja) was my knight.<\/p>\n<p>When Heidi opened the suite door to Peter in his ninja garb, she stopped, got a strange expression on her face, and looked him over from head to toe. \u00a0And what toes: ninja boots have separated toes.<\/p>\n<p>We had a fun time there, though I didn&#8217;t know anybody and his family did seem to be a peculiar bunch. \u00a0I don&#8217;t remember why now, though, or I&#8217;d give you some stories.<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>Sometime in October, I first heard the music of the Bradley Clock. \u00a0It played at certain times of the day&#8211;maybe it was every hour&#8211;when the clock struck. \u00a0The music was whatever it had been programmed to play, such as hymns, the school song or, come Christmastime and until January, February, or perhaps even March, Christmas songs.<\/p>\n<p>There was one hymn I was always trying to identify, but I couldn&#8217;t quite. \u00a0In fact, I believe it was after Christmas Break when I brought an old hymnbook to school with me so I could look up that hymn and remember its lyrics.<\/p>\n<p>The striking of the clock mimicked London&#8217;s Big Ben. \u00a0That clock would seem like a constant friend for the rest of my college years.<\/p>\n<p>My first brat fry was right outside the Campus Center on October 6, a Homecoming event hosted by the Sigmas. \u00a0I cared little for brats, though. \u00a0Even in 2006, after living in Wisconsin for 15 years, I&#8217;ve had only two brats my entire life. \u00a0The second one, I had because nothing else was available.<\/p>\n<p>That evening there was a Swiss dinner in the little basement of Ley Chapel. \u00a0This basement had long tables, chairs, a little kitchen, and small bathrooms, and was a popular meeting place. \u00a0Heidi and Ruth were probably the ones who made the food, since it was a Swiss dinner. \u00a0Heidi was very proud of it.<\/p>\n<p>I said a word or two in a S&#8211; accent, without thinking about it. \u00a0Peter grinned and teased me, saying about my accent, &#8220;It&#8217;s changing!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>One of the dishes had been cooked with alcohol, and I ate it, so Peter teased that I had to change my claim that I had never had one drop of alcohol before. \u00a0But I told him that alcohol was cooked out, leaving flavors but no alcohol. \u00a0He didn&#8217;t believe me, but it was true.<\/p>\n<p>We had something with rhubarb, probably rhubarb pie with a cream topping. \u00a0Heidi told the few of us who were there (probably people from the language suites) that you weren&#8217;t supposed to drink pop after eating it. \u00a0Acids from the vegetable and from the pop would interact to destroy your tooth enamel.<\/p>\n<p>Peter worked as Photo Editor for the school newspaper, <i>The Mirror<\/i>. \u00a0I became his assistant in the darkroom. \u00a0No, nothing indecent went on. \u00a0It wasn&#8217;t like that joke about going into the darkroom to see what develops.<\/p>\n<p>I took Photography class in high school, and knew something about developing pictures. \u00a0I even got a credit in the paper for being Darkroom Assistant, and got mailings about <i>Mirror<\/i> meetings even though I wasn&#8217;t signed up to get class credits for working there. \u00a0The staff met in a suite a few doors down from my suite.<\/p>\n<p>One of his first assignments was to take pictures of the Mr. Muskie Football Fashion Show on October 9. \u00a0The comedian, <span style=\"color: #333333;\">Marvin Bell<\/span>, may have been the guy who said that in your first few months you open doors for your girlfriend, and then after that you&#8217;re like, &#8220;Open it yourself.&#8221;\u00a0 We laughed, but Peter and I insisted to each other that it would never get that way for us.<\/p>\n<p>For the fashion show, which was run by the cheerleading squad, the football players dressed in drag&#8211;formal dresses, bathing suits&#8211;and paraded around the stage. \u00a0Some looked disturbingly good. \u00a0From the article in the paper (which spoke flirtingly of sexy dresses, fine figures, muscular bodies and little smiles), one of the &#8220;contestants&#8221; must have been losing his bosoms.<\/p>\n<p>At the end, all the contestants came out in cheerleader costumes and began doing Muskie cheers as the audience joined in. \u00a0Then they formed a pyramid. \u00a0The article read (keeping all the spelling errors in place), &#8220;The pyrmid was strong and sturdy which help prove that they were some real men.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Peter laughed as he took pictures. \u00a0Awards were given for Best Leg(s) (awarded to a contestant with a cast), Best Formalwear, Best Swimsuit, and the biggest honor, Mr. Muskie. \u00a0Mr. Muskie also won Best Smile.<\/p>\n<p>As Mr. Muskie left the stage after the &#8220;pyrmid,&#8221; &#8220;we saw that [he] just couldn&#8217;t keep that dress down because it was covering his back and not his rear end. \u00a0What a sight!&#8221; \u00a0Bell remarked as the contestants left the stage, &#8220;I hope I never have to walk in a room when you girls are present.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>****<\/p>\n<p>Yes, we did go to the Semi-Formal Homecoming Dance on the 12th. \u00a0At long last, I had a date for dances, and my church would not disapprove.<\/p>\n<p>I don&#8217;t remember when this happened; it could have been early on, such as in September or October, or it may have been in January. \u00a0And I think it happened every once in a while.<\/p>\n<p>But I pondered asking Peter to make our relationship more open, so we could also see other people. \u00a0I was still attracted to Shawn, which made me chafe a little at the bit of being in an &#8220;exclusive relationship,&#8221; and may have had a little crush on Darryl.<\/p>\n<p>I had always been boy crazy, often had huge crushes on more than one guy at a time, and have never stopped being boy crazy no matter how much I liked\/loved the guy I was with.<\/p>\n<p>I probably never will stop, even when I&#8217;m old and gray, judging by how the Greeks at my church still flirt shamelessly well into their 80s.<\/p>\n<p>I thought Shawn was attracted to me as well. \u00a0But since I believe in loyalty and faithfulness, I wouldn&#8217;t date Shawn without Peter&#8217;s permission.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe I should have said something, but was afraid of how Peter would take it. \u00a0I wrote this in a letter in 1997:<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I&#8217;d liked [Shawn] from the time I met him, and while I was with Peter, there were times I considered asking Peter if we were allowed to date other people. \u00a0I thought if we were, I&#8217;d ask out Shawn and be dating two guys and then be able to decide which one I liked better.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>For years, I would see one of my pets twitching in her sleep, and try to influence her dream by petting, meowing, barking, or whatever. \u00a0She would react by barking, twitching, or whatever. \u00a0So Peter started putting himself into REM sleep to see what dreams I could give him.<\/p>\n<p>He would talk or move in his sleep. \u00a0At least one of those dreams I gave him ended up being elaborate and hilarious. \u00a0I kept scratching something, maybe a plastic notebook, and he kicked and made karate chops in his sleep.<\/p>\n<p>After he woke up, I made that sound again to find out what it was in his dream. \u00a0He cringed and said that sound belonged to a strange person or being which was attacking me. \u00a0He kept ninja-fighting to protect me from it.<\/p>\n<p>On a Thursday night around October 10, at 11:10pm, I wrote in my Freshman Honors notes, &#8220;Interesting what you can do to influence a person&#8217;s dream!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><strong>On October 10, Peter hypnotized me.<\/strong> <\/span>\u00a0According to him, his ninja training included this ability. \u00a0I told him I&#8217;d been hypnotized once before, by my psychologist, as a pre-teen.<\/p>\n<p>(I wanted to remember every single moment in my life so I could write it down and be a modern Laura Ingalls Wilder. \u00a0To my disappointment, hypnotism doesn&#8217;t work like that.\u00a0 Though it might have helped me remember better.)<\/p>\n<p>After Peter hypnotized me the first time, I knew I was truly hypnotized because I had a point of reference. \u00a0I knew that I couldn&#8217;t expect to be unconscious while hypnotized. \u00a0I knew that it would seem, the whole time, like I wasn&#8217;t really hypnotized at all. \u00a0But I also knew that when the hypnotist took me out of the trance, I felt suddenly more alert and awake, and also refreshed.\u00a0 I have been told that hypnotism makes you feel like you got a full night&#8217;s sleep.<\/p>\n<p>So yes, kiddies, Peter truly did know how to hypnotize. \u00a0This was my own brain this happened in, so I can tell you for a fact that it was true and not just a trick. \u00a0Peter also noted that I was probably more easily hypnotized because it had been done to me before.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Since he had no crystal or anything else to hypnotize me with, he used a peculiar &#8220;Ninja look.&#8221;<\/strong> \u00a0Before I closed my eyes, I stared at him and couldn&#8217;t look away, even when I tried. \u00a0I didn&#8217;t know that he couldn&#8217;t look away either, an unplanned occurrence and very odd. \u00a0If I hadn&#8217;t closed my eyes, we thought, we might&#8217;ve stared at each other forever!<\/p>\n<p>Then he felt this pressure, maybe a headache, in his head, and took a moment to recover from it. \u00a0He had me sit on the bed, and gave me a long kiss. \u00a0I thought, <i>Oh, don&#8217;t be silly. \u00a0This is great, but I want to do some more, really cool things while I&#8217;m under.<\/i><\/p>\n<p>He told me to forget that kiss until he reminded me of it, thinking if he could make me forget a kiss like that, he must be really good at hypnotizing. \u00a0After a few other things, which I now forget (though I have irrefutable evidence that he did <i>not<\/i> &#8220;take advantage&#8221; of me sexually), he woke me up and asked if I remembered the kiss.<\/p>\n<p>What kiss? \u00a0Later on, the memory began to come back to me, but at the time I couldn&#8217;t figure out what he was talking about.<\/p>\n<p>I will copy here some notes I jotted in my day planner. \u00a0You will see that many of the things can be easily explained by an older, wiser mind: body language, similar slang terms, deduction, coincidence, etc.<\/p>\n<p>But to our young, impressionable minds, shaped by science fiction, fantasy, the mystical TV show <i><a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Beauty_and_the_Beast_%281987_TV_series%29\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Beauty and the Beast<\/a><\/i> and Peter&#8217;s belief in his own ESP, they seemed mysterious and paranormal.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s also possible that Peter was deliberately trying to manipulate my impressionable mind, not yet turned cynical, though I can&#8217;t possibly prove it one way or the other:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Sat., Oct. 12&#8211;Strange things have been happening. \u00a0On the way back from the dance, [Peter] wrote in the frost on a car window, &#8220;Cool Mustang Dude.&#8221;\u00a0 I knew he&#8217;d write &#8220;Dude&#8221; before he even started to!<\/p>\n<p>Later on, while watching <i>American Ninja 3<\/i>, I blinked with sudden and temporary sleepiness, and, for some reason, I looked over at P. and he was asleep! \u00a0At 2:14, I think it was (yes, AM&#8211;the movie was from 1 to 3AM), he either looked at his watch or the clock.<\/p>\n<p>I looked at mine, said nothing, but, even though he didn&#8217;t see my expression, he said, &#8220;That&#8217;s what I thought&#8221; or &#8220;That&#8217;s how I felt.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Then he said, &#8220;How did I know what you were thinking?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Earlier, the second time we went on the [dance] floor but I stopped because the lyrics were bad [full of sex], he had a feeling I&#8217;d stop, and I did immediately after.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>I&#8217;m not sure if I had stopped before during a sexy dance song or if this was my first time, so it&#8217;s hard to say if he could have figured that out logically without a Link.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Also, on Sat. or Sun., whichever it was, how&#8217;d he know to describe Mom&#8217;s wordless reaction by saying, &#8220;Our little Nyssa, watching a movie like that [<i>American Ninja 3<\/i>]?&#8221;?!<\/p>\n<p>Mon., Oct. 14&#8211;Odd: This morning we both dreamed about the very desserts [we were to have] for lunch&#8211;me about eating a cream puff, P. about strawberry shortcake!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>These were our favorites, and both were served for lunch that day.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Tues., Oct. 15&#8211;Found P.&#8217;s &#8220;preoccupied&#8221; feeling, which a co-worker also had, broke at 10:55PM when one of the men in the nursing home [where he worked] died!<\/p>\n<p>Wed., Oct. 16&#8211;Curiouser and curiouser. \u00a0Remember Tuesday night close to 1 when I&#8217;d just gone to bed [in my suite room], and, tired, had already begun to go into a dream?<\/p>\n<p>A few seconds later, <i>just as Peter <\/i>[who was at home] <i>banged his heel on a desk or something,<\/i> in my dream a shadowy female suddenly hit my right heel, and I woke up jerking my foot away from her fist!<\/p>\n<p>Also, as he lay on my bed doing his Spanish homework in his workbook, I saw a list of words similar to English and probably French. \u00a0I went down the list, translating them.<\/p>\n<p>Peter said (so I thought), &#8220;Naturally I did know that.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Did or didn&#8217;t?&#8221; I said.<\/p>\n<p>After a confused exchange, he said, &#8220;What did you think I said?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I told him, and he said, he was muttering in Spanish and thinking what it meant in English! \u00a0He said sometimes he&#8217;s talking with his mom, he thinks something and she hears him and [answers him].<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>His mother got upset once when, as she substitute-taught at a middle school, a guy tried to prove to everyone that ESP does not exist.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Thurs., Oct. 17&#8211;P. didn&#8217;t know if he&#8217;d be able to come over this evening. \u00a0Somehow, I knew he&#8217;d either call or, most probably, come [around] or at 7:00.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>I kept watching the clock, and figuring what I should do until 7:00. \u00a0No, he hadn&#8217;t given me a time when he might arrive.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>And he came at a few minutes till [7:00]! \u00a0([He was] only allowed to because he chauffered his mom for the 7:30 Japanese film [shown in the Muskie]).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>I greeted him at my door with, &#8220;I knew you&#8217;d come at 7!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Peter tried to figure out what was going on. \u00a0He eventually remembered reading in a book that you could set up a mental link by hypnotizing someone you really care about.<\/p>\n<p>This Link amazed us. \u00a0<strong><span style=\"color: #800080;\">As Peter told me on the way to the Campus Center one day, his mom said that if you know each others&#8217; thoughts, it means you&#8217;re meant for each other.<\/span> <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I think a bit of the mental link already existed, but got much stronger after the first time he hypnotized me.<\/p>\n<p><strong>I wrote in my day planner on October 19 that I had Peter &#8220;hypnotize me again, but he was tired, so he had to use my watch.&#8221; \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>First, he put himself into a trance and secretly programmed himself to say certain things to me.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Then, while still in the trance, he hypnotized me, had me stare into his eyes, and said to &#8220;imagine a telephone wire&#8230;that went between our foreheads. \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>When he reached zero after counting backwards from 5, I was to close my eyes again. \u00a0We both felt pressure on our foreheads at about the time he was counting. \u00a0It worked. \u00a0Our minds have a much stronger link now.&#8221;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I think he only hypnotized me one more time after that, because it gave him an awful headache.\u00a0 That time, he used a crystal decoration from his window shade string.<\/p>\n<p>We often spoke of the Link not as possibility but as fact, a new thing which cemented us together even more. \u00a0We both loved to use and speak of it.<\/p>\n<p>We amused ourselves by using this Link to get each other to do things: I would think to him to put his arm around me and he would do it, he would think to me to kiss him and I would do it.<\/p>\n<p>We didn&#8217;t hear the thoughts, or at least I didn&#8217;t hear his, but they gave us the sudden desire to do whatever thing it was. \u00a0Then I would tell him or he would tell me, &#8220;You did just what I used the Link to tell you to do.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I felt like we were living the 80s show <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Beauty_and_the_Beast_%281987_TV_series%29\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\"><i>Beauty and the Beast<\/i><\/a>, in which Catherine and Vincent shared a link (though theirs was stronger), transmitting words and feelings to each other even over great distances.<\/p>\n<p>Though I sometimes feared it, wondering if it was demonic, I also thought it was probably all right.<\/p>\n<p>Because of my fear, I didn&#8217;t always want to use it. \u00a0A couple of months later, it began to fade, and neither of us knew what was wrong with it.<\/p>\n<p>I later learned from a visiting hypnotist that if someone is afraid of a link, it can fade. \u00a0No, the idea of a mental link was not Peter&#8217;s invention.<\/p>\n<p>One night as we walked from the suite parking lot around the building to my door, I told Peter it was so wonderful and that &#8220;I always wanted a relationship like in <i>Beauty <\/i><i>and the Beast<\/i>.\u00a0 Now I&#8217;ve got one!&#8221;\u00a0 Few people could ever have that, and I had always thought it was just fiction.<\/p>\n<p>He hugged me for that, and said how glad he was to have brought such a wonderful thing into my life. \u00a0He also loved it, himself. \u00a0He said with an impish grin, &#8220;Though if anyone calls you a beast&#8230;.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Once, in the car, he said, after I told him my future plans and asked his opinion, he said, &#8220;Depends on what part I have in them.&#8221; \u00a0When I asked what part he wanted, he patted my leg and said, &#8220;If things go as I hope, a very big part.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>I had examined a list of S&#8211; churches and told Mom that there were no Nazarene churches around there. \u00a0She and Dad came up to Roanoke to visit me on October 12. Their S&#8211; hotel room had Marcus Cable, not Warner Cable like Roanoke had.<\/p>\n<p>Marcus Cable had a S&#8211; public access station which showed ads. \u00a0My parents turned it on and found an advertisement for a Nazarene church in S&#8211;! \u00a0They wrote down the information and brought it to me.<\/p>\n<p>We were to find out later that the people who ran that church had been getting so few results that they were going to pull the ad the next day! \u00a0Since my parents only happened to find the ad, and they only happened to find it just before it was pulled, we believed these weren&#8217;t coincidences, but God directing me to this church.<\/p>\n<p>Finally, on October 20, Peter and I went to church together. \u00a0The first surprise was that there was only an evening service. \u00a0I don&#8217;t remember if we dressed up; I may have told Peter that Nazarene evening services were often more casual, with men wearing jeans and women wearing pants.<\/p>\n<p>We had some trouble figuring out where it was, because when we got to the right address, all we could see were houses, no churches. \u00a0Peter was the first to figure out that the church was actually <i>in<\/i> one of the houses (a modest Victorian). \u00a0I&#8217;d thought such churches hadn&#8217;t existed in years! \u00a0(The last one I knew about was back in the 50s, when my own church got started.)<\/p>\n<p>The pastor wasn&#8217;t a real pastor, just the person sent to plant a church. \u00a0He and his wife had other jobs besides this church.<\/p>\n<p>Jim and Sharon were an easygoing, fun couple in their forties, and with three kids: eight-year-old Tiffy, or Tiffany, almost nine, a dark-haired, sweet girl; Jonathan, almost twelve, a light-haired scamp and Casanova who didn&#8217;t believe his dad when he told him he&#8217;d been the same way; and Angela, a fourteen-year-old, dark-haired girl who loved Troll dolls.<\/p>\n<p>Sharon told her once that maybe I had been put into her life as a mentor. \u00a0Of course, even if I was, I didn&#8217;t have a car, so I only saw her when there was a service.<\/p>\n<p>They had a little <a href=\"http:\/\/www.dogbreedinfo.com\/pekepoo.htm\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">peek-a-poo<\/a> dog named Duchess.<\/p>\n<p>They were from Ohio, and had reluctantly moved to S&#8211;, pausing to ask God, &#8220;Do you really want us to go there?&#8221;\u00a0 It was colder than Ohio, and no one had come around to welcome them into the community, so it seemed cold in more ways than one. \u00a0But they were adapting, and by then may have finally gotten to know some people in the neighborhood.<\/p>\n<p>The house was small to medium-sized, with two stories. \u00a0In the living room, where the little group met, was a piano and plenty of comfortable places to sit. \u00a0Peter and I liked to sit with his arm around me on the couch.<\/p>\n<p>The bathroom was at the head of the stairs, and I found out too late that the drain didn&#8217;t work properly and that was why the stopper was in the sink. \u00a0But they laughed, and understood that they hadn&#8217;t warned me in time. \u00a0I&#8217;d wondered why the sink draining made such a funny noise, like it was pouring into something other than pipes.<\/p>\n<p>There were maybe two or three other people there, one a married and thirtyish mother, who was so happy to come here to this new community and find a Nazarene church, that she cried as she told her story.<\/p>\n<p>Sharon played the piano as we sang songs from Nazarene hymnbooks. \u00a0Peter loved the songs, and I loved singing familiar songs again rather than the ones sung in the campus chapel&#8217;s Wednesday services.<\/p>\n<p>The hymnals were the same brown &#8220;Worship in Song&#8221; ones we used in my church back home, with three gold-leaf crosses on the front cover. \u00a0Of course, while Peter had expected me to sing like an angel, in reality I am a very timid singer who whispers more than sings.<\/p>\n<p>It was very comforting to let the piano drown me out.\u00a0 I never have liked singing a cappella in church, because it makes me more self-conscious about my voice, which gets even tinier.<\/p>\n<p>It felt so good to be back in church. \u00a0One and a half months without a church had been far too long. \u00a0And this little, friendly group was a lot of fun to worship, learn and chat with. \u00a0The services were very informal; we had discussion, not just a sermon.<\/p>\n<p>Peter loved the services so much that he told his parents how great they were, and they wanted to join. \u00a0(He and his parents had had trouble finding a church, since they didn&#8217;t like the Catholic or Lutheran Church, and had trouble with the Episcopalian Church as well.)<\/p>\n<p>We didn&#8217;t have a morning service because Jim and Sharon took the family to a Nazarene church in Milwaukee. \u00a0The following year, however, they would switch to the morning, and try to start a little Sunday School with the few children there.<\/p>\n<p>It also felt wonderful to be in a house in a city neighborhood again, to see neighborhood blocks and walk on the sidewalks. \u00a0Once, we all went outside, maybe for a cookout one evening or afternoon, and I loved to look up from the backyard at the surrounding houses. \u00a0I hadn&#8217;t even had a backyard view in so long, it seemed. \u00a0Yes, I was homesick for the city, though I loved the country.<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>I wrote in a letter to my Irish pen pal on October 22,<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;My parents came up weekend before last [on October 12], met Peter, took a bunch of pictures, and replenished my supplies.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Just as I predicted, Peter and my dad got along great. \u00a0They both like computers, [Radio Shack,] photography and fixing electrical things, so they had a lot to talk about.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;But&#8211;poor Peter&#8211;Dad tried to talk to him about football, and Peter, who hates football, had to act like he knew something about it. \u00a0We&#8217;d decided not to tell [Dad] that [he hates football], among other things, so Peter could make the best impression he could on him.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Now my parents have some pictures of him, and my mom&#8217;s been showing them around at home as if Peter were the winning entry in a pie contest.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s probably because I had so much trouble getting dates in high school.<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>Peter used the computer lab in Chase a lot for his assignments, including papers, and we liked to spend that time together. \u00a0We still hated to spend time apart: We were in that honeymoon stage of relationships. \u00a0(My friend Pearl said she&#8217;d heard that in the first two months, couples don&#8217;t like to be apart at all.) \u00a0I would sit on a chair or stool next to Peter as he worked on a computer.<\/p>\n<p>He introduced me to computer Solitaire, that omnipresent Windows game, and to Windows itself, a wondrous new operating system. \u00a0(He later loaned his Windows discs to my Dad, who used them to load Windows onto the computer at home.)<\/p>\n<p>Once, while I was playing Solitaire, Shawn came in and said to us, &#8220;If you&#8217;re ever lost and in the middle of nowhere, just start playing Solitaire. \u00a0Pretty soon somebody will come along and say, &#8216;You should move that card here,&#8217; and &#8216;You should move that card there.'&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Unfortunately, we soon discovered that we weren&#8217;t supposed to play games in the computer lab. \u00a0It was for schoolwork, and though the room was full of computers (Apples and IBMs I believe), they needed to be kept free for the many students who didn&#8217;t have word processors, computers or typewriters in their rooms.<\/p>\n<p>(I think the college students of today would consider that to be living in the Dark Ages. \u00a0Now, not only do dorms have computers, at least at Roanoke, but some colleges apparently will lease computers to all the students who need them during the school year. \u00a0It seems computers are now as much a part of one&#8217;s school supplies as a notebook and pencils.)<\/p>\n<p>Peter got angry and talked back when the lab aide told him this rule in a near-empty computer lab one night. \u00a0The aide told the teacher in charge of the lab. \u00a0The next day, Peter saw the aide in line and apologized, but whispered to me that he didn&#8217;t really mean it, just didn&#8217;t want to get into trouble.<\/p>\n<p>One evening, Peter wanted to go with me from his house back to campus, but his parents (who hadn&#8217;t quite realized that he was almost 19 and a legal adult who could do whatever he wanted) didn&#8217;t want him to stay there for very long.<\/p>\n<p>I heard him lie to them; I think he told them he had to study in the Roanoke library or do some other thing, which they okayed. \u00a0In reality, he just wanted to spend some alone time with me.<\/p>\n<p>On the one hand, they should&#8217;ve loosened their reins once he turned 18. \u00a0On the other hand, he shouldn&#8217;t have been lying to them.<\/p>\n<p>This bothered me. \u00a0It also should have been a red flag that he could lie to me as well, but I foolishly believed he would never do that.<\/p>\n<p>I would either watch as Peter worked on the computer, or I would do homework. \u00a0Sometimes, Peter was allowed in to a certain office which had a modem, the only modem on campus (again, today&#8217;s college students would call this the Dark Ages), and he would download things from BBS&#8217;s as I watched.<\/p>\n<p>Through January, it became standard procedure many days for me to sit beside Peter in the computer lab. \u00a0Strange how, with college boyfriends, I kept watching them play on the computer. \u00a0Even now, a computer geek friend might come over to my house and start playing on the computer as I watch. \u00a0But no, I don&#8217;t do that with my hubby. \u00a0I&#8217;ve got too many other things to do!<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>On the 23rd, I wrote in my day planner,<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>The weirdest things happened&#8211;Once, when I came back to the room from the bathroom, Peter had turned on the TV with Candice&#8217;s remote and was pointing it at it at arm&#8217;s length <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">in his sleep<\/span>!<\/p>\n<p>Another time, I think before this, he opened his eyes several times, first wide, then half-closed (when I moved my finger and he didn&#8217;t see it) several times, then wide again, when I tested his senses by seeing what he&#8217;d do if I held my hand over his eyes and caused a shadow and then moved it closer to him&#8211;then he woke up.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>My sophomore-year roommate would also open her eyes in her sleep.<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>For a while, the International students and whoever else was interested could watch a foreign film in the Muskie every Thursday night at 7:30.<\/p>\n<p>For American and British students it meant reading subtitles, but the subtitled, rather than dubbed, versions were probably chosen on purpose because there were students who spoke the original languages as native tongues and would prefer to watch them with subtitles.<\/p>\n<p>It was probably wonderful for them, after being immersed in English for so long and often struggling to understand it.<\/p>\n<p>On the evening of the 24th, Peter and his parents went with me to see <i>Das Boot<\/i>, the movie about a German U-boat in World War II.<\/p>\n<p>Before we went, Peter&#8217;s mom presented me with an apple cake; I put it in Candice&#8217;s little fridge in the lounge.<\/p>\n<p>Unfortunately, we only got to see the first half of the movie. \u00a0Peter&#8217;s parents had to leave for something, or he had to go to work, so we left.<\/p>\n<p>When we got back to the German suite, one of us went to get the apple cake, only to find it missing. \u00a0Naturally, we first thought of Tom, who was sleeping. \u00a0Peter asked him if he knew what happened to the apple cake, but he didn&#8217;t. \u00a0So finally Peter and his parents left.<\/p>\n<p>They returned a few minutes later to tell me: On passing by the Japanese suite, they happened to look in the window and see a whole bunch of people&#8211;many from other suites&#8211;all sitting around and eating my apple cake! \u00a0They were partying with my apple cake.<\/p>\n<p>Heidi had found it in the fridge and taken it down there to serve at the party. \u00a0I&#8217;m not sure why she thought she could do this, since it wasn&#8217;t hers.<\/p>\n<p>Anyway, I think Peter and his parents stayed a bit longer so we could all go down and have some of my apple cake. \u00a0At least I had one piece before it all disappeared. \u00a0We all thought it was pretty funny.<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>Around this time, I met Julie&#8217;s boyfriend, Darryl, in the Mirror suite while helping Peter in the dark room. \u00a0He was tall, fair-haired and handsome, though he always wore a Batman baseball hat that year.<\/p>\n<p>This is the movie version of Batman which came out in 1989; the hat was black and had a picture of a bat signal. \u00a0He wore it forwards: College boys at our school did not start wearing baseball caps backwards until a year or two later.<\/p>\n<p>Darryl knew Shakespeare, which impressed me because I loved what little Shakespeare I had read in school. \u00a0My real name is not &#8220;Nyssa,&#8221; but the name of a book in the Bible; I will not tell you which one. \u00a0Darryl said it was his favorite biblical book.<\/p>\n<p>On the way to the K&#8211; Haunted House, I told Peter, &#8220;He likes the book of &#8212;-. \u00a0That really gives him good standing in my eyes.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Peter acted upset and uneasy.<\/p>\n<p>I said, &#8220;I mean friendship-wise!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>Just before 2pm on Friday the 25th, Peter and I went to the annual Writer&#8217;s Festival in the Bradley building. \u00a0We listened to <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Mark_Strand\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Mark Strand<\/a>, that year&#8217;s featured poet, but didn&#8217;t care for the sexually explicit poetry he read. \u00a0We stayed anyway because Counselor Dude told me to be there.<\/p>\n<p>At one point, the recipients of the Fessler Writing Scholarship (which included me) were honored: We all stood and were applauded.<\/p>\n<p>I received the scholarship in my senior year of high school. \u00a0Counselor Dude sent me guidelines; I could send poetry or prose, but my stories didn&#8217;t seem to be in a good form for sending, so I sent these poems, written while we studied Japanese haiku in Advanced Placement English class:<\/p>\n<p><em>9\/18\/90<\/em><br \/>\n<em> The Coconut Palm<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>As green feathers flutter in breezes,<\/em><br \/>\n<em> And ovals hide monkey-faces,<\/em><br \/>\n<em> A snake opens its jaws<\/em><br \/>\n<em> And brown eels shoot out in places.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Okay, so that one wasn&#8217;t a haiku; perhaps a nature-poem assignment.<\/p>\n<p><em>10\/2\/90<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Fresh, fragrant breezes<\/em><br \/>\n<em> Abolish musty odors<\/em><br \/>\n<em> Blow through the window<\/em><\/p>\n<p>This was written because of a smelly pile of something I thought was dirty laundry (wasn&#8217;t, but I forget what it really was) sitting by the cedar chest, as warm breezes blew in the window beside it.<\/p>\n<p><em>Now melancholy<\/em><br \/>\n<em> Lively greens become golds, reds<\/em><br \/>\n<em> Cold overpowers<\/em><\/p>\n<p>We weren&#8217;t going by the 7-5-7 syllable count, just simplicity, because the translations in the English book weren&#8217;t going by that form, or by rhyming because it&#8217;s easier to rhyme in Japanese than in English.<\/p>\n<p>I sent these poems probably during the winter or spring. \u00a0They impressed Counselor Dude, and were good enough to receive the scholarship.<\/p>\n<p>I told my English teacher, who got teary-eyed and told the whole class. \u00a0Since the poems came from her assignments, she said this sort of thing made her teaching worthwhile.<\/p>\n<h2><strong><a name=\"an2\"><\/a><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\">Deadly Nightshade<\/span><\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>That evening, Peter drove Latosha and me to the nearby large city of Appleton to buy music for WVRC, the campus radio station.<\/p>\n<p>In the back of the car was deadly nightshade, a &#8220;gift&#8221; to Frank from Peter&#8217;s mom. \u00a0Frank didn&#8217;t know what it was, so she wanted to show him. \u00a0(No, she didn&#8217;t want to kill him.)<\/p>\n<p>The plants were in some sort of container, maybe a sack, in the backseat, where Latosha also sat. \u00a0She kept saying she didn&#8217;t want to be back there with it, but once the car was on the highway she didn&#8217;t seem to have much choice.<\/p>\n<p>The next day, Peter and I went looking for Latosha, but couldn&#8217;t find her anywhere. \u00a0We checked the suite, the WVRC room and other places, but she wasn&#8217;t there.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Oh, Latosha!&#8221; Peter cried. \u00a0He began to panic, fearing that the deadly nightshade had somehow killed her just by being in the backseat.<\/p>\n<p>But to his (and my) great relief, she was very much alive, and finally showed up&#8211;just late.<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>On October 26, I experienced my very first Daylight Savings time change. \u00a0Before, time changes were temporary, such as when I visited my grandma for a week in the summer and Michigan was an hour ahead of Indiana. \u00a0(Going to bed at her 9pm and my 8pm was no fun, especially since the sun was still up.) \u00a0Now, I had to actually live with one for six months!<\/p>\n<p>It was hard to adjust at first, especially when the sun would go down at 4pm instead of 5pm on the shortest days of the year, making the night seem extra-long. \u00a0And for maybe a week, my body kept saying it was time to eat when it wasn&#8217;t.<\/p>\n<p>But the good part about the fall time change was for one night, I could get an extra hour of sleep, and for a while it would seem like I was staying up or getting up an hour later than usual. \u00a0(In reality I was, but the clock didn&#8217;t say so.)<\/p>\n<p>I was a bit confused at first about the 2am change, wondering why they&#8217;d make people get up in the middle of the night to change clocks, but soon discovered that people just set their clocks before going to bed.<\/p>\n<p>I keep wishing that one of these days, time changes will be abolished as a waste of time, since they disrupt daily routines and make the sun set even earlier in winter, with no tangible benefit that I&#8217;ve ever seen. \u00a0I would love to see the sun go down at 5pm in the winter rather than 4pm, since I grew up with 5pm winter sunsets.<\/p>\n<p>But now I hear that South Bend&#8211;one of the few sensible cities regarding time changes&#8211;has fallen onto the Daylight Savings bandwagon. \u00a0They change clocks twice a year and now match up with Michigan, so I never know what time it is when I want to call my parents.<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>On October 26, Peter and I dressed in my princess and his ninja costume again, and went to a Halloween party at Muehlmeier Hall in the lounge. \u00a0We went there because we were DJ&#8217;s for WVRC, and Peter was chief engineer (even though the station still hadn&#8217;t gotten going yet and we never had a chance to DJ yet). \u00a0A couple of the other DJs played the music.<\/p>\n<p>Latosha was one of the party DJ&#8217;s. \u00a0Peter did his chief engineer stuff, and I was given nothing to do except to help pick songs and dance.<\/p>\n<p>Latosha tried to put more variety into the night&#8217;s selection of music, but every time she played something besides rap, she got loud complaints. \u00a0For Peter and me, she played &#8220;Everything I Do&#8221; by Bryan Adams, but it was practically booed.<\/p>\n<p>I forget what derogatory thing some guy said about it, but it upset both Peter and me. \u00a0This was our song, and they were saying such things about it!<\/p>\n<p>Latosha tried to play another song which sounded really good, but they told her to turn it off and play rap.\u00a0 &#8220;This is <i>house<\/i>!&#8221; she cried in disbelief. \u00a0It was very frustrating, not only to Peter and me but also to Latosha.<\/p>\n<p>I don&#8217;t remember other details, but I do remember Peter and I standing in a large circle; we females were supposed to show off our costumes. \u00a0When it came to be my turn, I walked out into the middle of the circle and did a little spin. \u00a0The guys made approving whistles and noises.<\/p>\n<p>I was nervous and self-conscious but didn&#8217;t screw up, and it felt good to get such favorable attention. \u00a0My costume was properly zipped up, by the way, so I felt a bit bound up.<\/p>\n<p>Since the only music allowed was rap, Peter and I hardly danced at all, and left early.<\/p>\n<p>On October 31, Peter and I went to the campus Halloween party in Bossard Hall, but the music there was bad, too.<\/p>\n<p>At the Halloween dance in Bossard, we had fun seeing our friends dressed up in costume. \u00a0A guy named Steve dressed as Satan, and went around with a sign-up sheet for people&#8217;s souls. \u00a0I think somebody was dressed as a mummy, head to toe in toilet paper. \u00a0Pearl was a bee.<\/p>\n<p>Peter took me aside, pointed to Steve and said, &#8220;You see that guy there?&#8221;\u00a0 I didn&#8217;t know Steve at that time.\u00a0 &#8220;He&#8217;s a Satanist!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>A Satanist at a Christian college??!! \u00a0For the rest of the semester, Peter didn&#8217;t want to be around him.<\/p>\n<p>Of course, Steve wasn&#8217;t actually a Satanist but a Pagan or Wiccan, but I didn&#8217;t know this at the time. \u00a0Eventually, Peter and I even became friends with him (though separately). \u00a0He was a fun, goofy guy. \u00a0More about him later.<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>Latosha liked to mother me. \u00a0One day while I had the flu&#8211;the first I could remember ever having it&#8211;I got some ice cream in the cafeteria, and she said, &#8220;You shouldn&#8217;t be eating that ice cream.&#8221; \u00a0But we didn&#8217;t get ice cream every day, and it looked so good!<\/p>\n<p>One evening, Peter&#8217;s parents drove the two of us around little K&#8211; and other heavily German areas, showing me the German-style buildings there: houses with outside staircases leading up to a second floor door, buildings with split timbers, churches with spires. \u00a0I loved it. \u00a0One bar, House of Spirits, had a little ghost painted near the roof.<\/p>\n<p>Sometime early in the semester, Peter, his mom, and I sat and watched a story on the news about a girl who got pregnant, didn&#8217;t realize it, and thought she had gas pains when she was actually going into labor. \u00a0So she sat on the toilet to get rid of the gas, and a baby came out instead, hitting its head on the toilet seat. \u00a0The blow to its head killed it. \u00a0If I remember correctly, she tried to throw it away, and her dad found it. \u00a0Now, she was being tried for throwing her baby away.<\/p>\n<p>I believe this was the first I had ever heard of people throwing babies away, instead of contacting the proper authorities. \u00a0Soon began a disturbing trend throughout the 90s of teen mothers throwing their babies&#8211;even live ones&#8211;in the trash.<\/p>\n<p>The real twist to this case: she was a Roanoke freshman. \u00a0I believe she was in one of Peter&#8217;s classes. \u00a0She looked a little familiar to me as well.<\/p>\n<p>****<\/p>\n<p>Peter ripped on Shawn whenever he was out of the room, and I later discovered that Shawn also ripped on Peter when he was out of the room. \u00a0But whenever we were all together, Peter and I told Shawn we were eternally grateful to him for getting us together with his diarrhea of the mouth.<\/p>\n<p>Much later, Shawn told me that this made him feel uncomfortable, because he didn&#8217;t want to be held responsible if we broke up.<\/p>\n<h2><strong><a name=\"an3\"><\/a><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\">Pressure to Love<\/span><\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Peter and I made out all the time, but never got past &#8220;first base&#8221; because we were Christians. \u00a0I felt weak, but reassured by Peter&#8217;s ninja self-control.<\/p>\n<p>One day, maybe a month into the relationship, Peter said to me, &#8220;Now I can finally say it: I love you.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>However, I was reluctant at first to tell him I loved him: I wanted to mean it. \u00a0He insisted on a reply, so eventually I began saying &#8220;ditto&#8221; or &#8220;<i>ich liebe dich<\/i>.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>In those days, I believed there was One person for everyone, a soulmate ordained by God. \u00a0If you loved someone, it meant your spirit recognized your soulmate; if you truly loved someone, it would last forever, and you would marry. \u00a0Everything else was merely infatuation, which is hot but quickly burns itself out.<\/p>\n<p>(Some would argue that I wasn&#8217;t naive here, but right: that the one I truly loved is the one I married. \u00a0Or that I may have loved before, but if the others had truly loved me back, they would never have broken up with me for good.<\/p>\n<p>(Me, I&#8217;m not entirely sure what to think, but I&#8217;m inclined to agree with one of these two possibilities.<\/p>\n<p>(But I also recognize now that until you&#8217;ve been with someone with for quite some time, and the infatuation has a chance to wear off, you don&#8217;t really know if you have &#8220;love&#8221; which lasts through daily work\/home drudgery and childrearing, or are only &#8220;infatuated,&#8221; in love with love.)<\/p>\n<p>So when I told Peter I loved him, I&#8217;d be sealing my fate. \u00a0He did get upset that I replied &#8220;ditto&#8221; or &#8220;<i>ich liebe dich&#8221;<\/i> instead of &#8220;I love you.&#8221;\u00a0 One day, probably in October, I finally did say &#8220;I love you&#8221; in English, and I meant it.<\/p>\n<p>Now we knew we loved each other, and we had so many things in common and matched each others&#8217; ideals so well that marriage seemed the logical conclusion&#8211;though not until we graduated.<\/p>\n<p>One day, I said, &#8220;When I was a kid, my teacher said I&#8217;d end up marrying someone who makes me laugh.&#8221;\u00a0 I realized&#8211;just in time&#8211;that if I said &#8220;She&#8217;s right,&#8221; it would scare Peter: We had not yet spoken of marriage. \u00a0So I said, &#8220;She&#8217;s probably right.&#8221;\u00a0 (Which she was, by the way: To this day, my hubby still makes me laugh.)<\/p>\n<p>To my bewilderment, Peter just got quiet and said, &#8220;Umm.&#8221;\u00a0 I asked him if he meant something by that, and he said no.<\/p>\n<p>So even if he did misunderstand me, I had no way of knowing if I needed to clear things up. \u00a0But how could he, when I did not say I would marry <i>him<\/i>&#8211;just someone who would make me laugh?<\/p>\n<p>Talk did soon turn to marriage, however. \u00a0I wrote in my pen pal letter on the 22nd,<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>The way Peter and I talk sometimes, you&#8217;d think we were practically engaged. \u00a0We probably will be [engaged] in four years when we finish college, we&#8217;re such a perfect match&#8230;.<\/p>\n<p>We have so many things in common&#8230;you&#8217;d think we were made for each other&#8211;which we probably were. \u00a0<strong>We even soon noticed a mental link, which his mom says means that.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>We believed her.<\/p>\n<p>One evening, Peter and I sat with his parents at their dinner table, joking around. \u00a0I forget what I said&#8211;maybe I asked about some family secret or favorite story&#8211;but Peter smiled and said, &#8220;You&#8217;re not part of this family <i>yet<\/i>.&#8221;\u00a0 I joked back, &#8220;What do you mean, &#8216;yet&#8217;?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>We all laughed, and Peter blushed. \u00a0His dad said to him, &#8220;You&#8217;d better watch what you say.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Peter&#8217;s class ring was a star sapphire, an expensive stone, so I believe his mother didn&#8217;t even let him wear it. \u00a0Even if she did let him wear it, him letting a girlfriend wear it was out of the question. \u00a0So he got a silver bracelet to stand in for it.<\/p>\n<p>This bracelet he now gave to me. \u00a0The clasp didn&#8217;t work right, which was surprising because it was only maybe a year or two since he bought it, and the bracelet was a bit tight, but I wore it with pride. \u00a0He also gave me a small, cute snowflake necklace.<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>During deer hunting season, WIXX introduced me to two popular songs that were played every deer season: &#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=DZOC1QXTQLk&amp;feature=kp\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Turdy Point Buck<\/a>&#8221; by Bananas at Large and &#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=UU1b_D4pLu4\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Second Week of Deer Camp<\/a>&#8221; by <a href=\"http:\/\/www.dayoopers.com\/\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Da Yoopers<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>This group of guys, Da Yoopers, from the UP of Michigan had the same accent I heard in S&#8211;. \u00a0Bananas at Large, a Wisconsin group, raved about &#8220;Da Packers.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Da Yoopers also did &#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=aeZ0BUc3kMw\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Rusty Chevrolet<\/a>,&#8221; to the tune of &#8220;Dashing Through the Snow,&#8221; which was played every Christmas. \u00a0After that winter, and maybe even before it, I even heard that song on U93.<\/p>\n<p>Until now, however, I had never heard of Da Yoopers. \u00a0Peter cried, &#8220;Even my aunt who lives in Alaska has heard of Da Yoopers!&#8221;\u00a0 Well, maybe that&#8217;s because her family lived in Wisconsin.<\/p>\n<p>Heidi complained one day that she was picking up Roanoke&#8217;s &#8220;bad table manners.&#8221;\u00a0 I&#8217;m not quite sure what all she meant by this, since I rarely noticed it myself, but I believe it was things like putting one&#8217;s elbows on the table while eating.<\/p>\n<p>I knew about that rule, but I got so used to people doing this at Roanoke that it didn&#8217;t seem rude to me at all. \u00a0I began doing it, myself; it was comfortable, after all, and when I was, like, eating fries and had one hand in my lap, I felt too fastidious.<\/p>\n<p>A friend later told me that it&#8217;s a very German thing to have elbows on the table.<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>One day after lunch, as we sat in the Campus Center lounge next to the TV, Peter said I needed to find friends to hang around with when he wasn&#8217;t there. \u00a0I said, &#8220;I have friends!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Which I did. \u00a0Though I had little social life outside of Peter, which I hear often happens to new couples, he was wrong to assume that I had no friends. \u00a0If he hadn&#8217;t come along and taken up much of my time (as we both wanted), I would still have been floating around to various groups at meals, going to school events with my friends, and hanging out in their rooms whenever I had time.<\/p>\n<p>This is what I did before Peter, and it was what I would do after Peter. \u00a0I had many people I considered friends, though they weren&#8217;t yet close friends. \u00a0Peter often chose where we sat at meals, and many of these people were often included.<\/p>\n<p>I did, however, feel the lack of a best friend outside of Peter. \u00a0I considered saying to one person, &#8220;I think we could be good friends.&#8221;\u00a0 But I wasn&#8217;t sure if that would come out the way I intended, or just sound like a pathetic loser: &#8220;Will you be my frieeeend?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>In those days, I was still used to what I had known in high school: seeing my friends mostly in classes or at lunch, and, except for Campus Life or church activities, not generally anywhere else. \u00a0I socialized, but I also had my own private life.<\/p>\n<p>It was the only way I had ever known, especially since I rarely passed anyone on the way to or from school.\u00a0 My friend Becky, met in my senior year of high school, was the exception, so I called her my &#8220;bosom friend&#8221; (yes, as in <em>Anne of Green Gables<\/em>), the <a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/tracy-part-5\/\">one I had always wanted to find<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>This was probably a combination of shyness\/introversion, <a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/nonverbal-learning-disorder-nld-nvld\/\">nonverbal learning disorder<\/a>, and circumstances: Since I was a Nazarene, I hadn&#8217;t gone to movies or dances with friends, which were not allowed until the past couple of years.<\/p>\n<p>Few of my friends lived near me, and for most of my life, my school-friends didn&#8217;t drive. \u00a0Few people invited me to events, except through church or Campus Life.<\/p>\n<p>So at college, even when I saw people mostly at meals or in class, I considered them friends. \u00a0So Peter&#8217;s comment made me feel like a friendless loser on one hand, and on the other, helpless to change anything.<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>During the rainy seasons, which were fall and spring, worms collected on the big, concrete sidewalk outside the lower level of the Campus Center. \u00a0They died and turned black, then covered the slab for months before finally disappearing.<\/p>\n<p>This was gross, and I took great pains to avoid them, along with the many worms along the other sidewalks. \u00a0Peter and I still occasionally stepped on them, and said, &#8220;Squish squish!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>On the evening of Sunday the 27th, we attended the Nazarene house church in S&#8211;. \u00a0As I later wrote in my day planner\/diary, there were refreshments afterwards, which kept us around long enough to have a long, deep discussion with Jim, Sharon and another member.<\/p>\n<p>We talked about occultic things and the Nazarene church, especially of interest to Peter and me, considering his <a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1991\/#an1\">claimed ESP and the psychic element<\/a> of his <a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1991\/#an1\">ninja training<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>At one point, Jim said, &#8220;&#8211;give the Devil two black eyes.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Peter suddenly froze.\u00a0 I also felt cold, despite the warm room.\u00a0 Peter put his arm around me and pulled me close.<\/p>\n<p>Later, Peter told me he picked up weird things with his ESP. \u00a0Unfortunately, I did not describe these things in the day planner, and no longer remember them. \u00a0He saw red, and had to put up a mental block because he was too tired to deal with it.<\/p>\n<p>These events freaked me out so much that I even started to imagine there was some sort of evil entity in the suite bathroom.<\/p>\n<p>Looking back, it was quite silly. \u00a0I don&#8217;t know if Peter truly saw &#8220;weird things&#8221; or red, or not.<\/p>\n<p>I can say that I probably just got a chill, which normally happens when I hear about something scary, and Peter got me thinking there was more to it than that.<\/p>\n<p>But it&#8217;s so easy to scare yourself with imagined ghosts that people often imagine they&#8217;re there when they&#8217;re not.<\/p>\n<p>Just witness the group hysteria that often occurs in such shows as <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Most_Haunted\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Most Haunted<\/a>, when the group has no real hard evidence that anything paranormal has happened, but still everyone begins screaming and running as if a ghost had truly manifested itself.<\/p>\n<p>(<a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Ghost_Hunters_(TV_series)\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Ghost Hunters<\/a> is better if you prefer actual camera footage and audio of a paranormal event, no fake mediums, and investigators who love finding ghosts and don&#8217;t go running like jackrabbits at every little bump in the night.)<\/p>\n<p>One evening, in one of our after-church discussions, Jim talked about how most people probably didn&#8217;t read the chapters in the Bible (such as Numbers and Leviticus) about the dimensions of the temple, the laws, genealogies, census numbers, etc.<\/p>\n<p>I had always trudged through those chapters whenever I read through the Old Testament, thinking how terribly dull they were. \u00a0When Jim said this, I thought, <i>You mean I don&#8217;t have to read those?!<\/i> \u00a0I had thought that when you read the Bible, you were supposed to read every verse. \u00a0This was quite a relief!<\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1991-aurora-borealis-ghosts-promises-marriage\/\">November 1991<\/a><\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> <a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/\">Life at Roanoke: My College Memoirs\u2013September 1991 through May 1995<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\"><strong>Table of Contents<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #008000;\"><strong>Freshman Year<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/freshman-year-september-1991\/\">September 1991:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/freshman-year-september-1991\/#an1\">Meet the Suite<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/freshman-year-september-1991\/#an2\">Orientation<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/freshman-year-september-1991\/#an3\">Meeting Shawn&#8211;and a Ninja<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/freshman-year-september-1991\/#an4\">Campus Stories, Wisconsin, Campus Radio Station<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/freshman-year-september-1991\/#an5\">Campus, People, First College Boyfriend<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/freshman-year-september-1991\/#an6\">Dating a Ninja<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1991\/\"><strong>October 1991:<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1991\/#an1\">Peter, my Ninja Boyfriend, Hypnotizes Me and Starts a Mental Link<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1991\/#an2\">Deadly Nightshade<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1991\/#an3\">Pressure to Love <\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1991-aurora-borealis-ghosts-promises-marriage\/\">November 1991:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1991-aurora-borealis-ghosts-promises-marriage\/#an1\">Promises of Marriage<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1991-aurora-borealis-ghosts-promises-marriage\/#an2\"> Aurora Borealis<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1991-aurora-borealis-ghosts-promises-marriage\/#an3\">Ghosts<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1991-ride-greyhound\/\">December 1991:<\/a>Ride the Greyhound<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/january-1992-dealing-breakup-probable-nvld\/\">January 1992:<\/a>Dealing with a Breakup with Probable NVLD<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"February 1992\u2013My New Life Begins; The Great Zipper Caper; Shawn Makes His Move\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1992-new-life-begins-great-zipper-caper-shawn-makes-move\/\">February 1992:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"February 1992\u2013My New Life Begins; The Great Zipper Caper; Shawn Makes His Move\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1992-new-life-begins-great-zipper-caper-shawn-makes-move\/#an1\">My New Life Begins<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"February 1992\u2013My New Life Begins; The Great Zipper Caper; Shawn Makes His Move\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1992-new-life-begins-great-zipper-caper-shawn-makes-move\/#an2\">The Great Zipper Caper<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"February 1992\u2013My New Life Begins; The Great Zipper Caper; Shawn Makes His Move\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1992-new-life-begins-great-zipper-caper-shawn-makes-move\/#an3\">Shawn Makes his Move <\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"March 1992\u2013Shawn: Just Friends or Dating?\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1992-shawn-just-friends-dating\/\">March 1992: <\/a>Shawn: Just Friends or Dating?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"April 1992\u2013Pledging and Prayer Group\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1992-pledging-prayer-group\/\">April 1992: <\/a>Pledging, Prayer Group&#8211;and Peter&#8217;s Smear Campaign<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"May 1992\u2013Year-End Parties; Summer Begins; Quirky \u201cFriendship\u201d with Shawn Heats Up Again\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/may-1992-year-end-parties-summer-begins-quirky-friendship-shawn-heats\/\">May 1992:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"May 1992\u2013Year-End Parties; Summer Begins; Quirky \u201cFriendship\u201d with Shawn Heats Up Again\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/may-1992-year-end-parties-summer-begins-quirky-friendship-shawn-heats\/#an1\">Year-End Parties<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"May 1992\u2013Year-End Parties; Summer Begins; Quirky \u201cFriendship\u201d with Shawn Heats Up Again\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/may-1992-year-end-parties-summer-begins-quirky-friendship-shawn-heats\/#an2\">Quirky &#8220;Friendship&#8221; with Shawn Heats Up Again<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"May 1992\u2013Year-End Parties; Summer Begins; Quirky \u201cFriendship\u201d with Shawn Heats Up Again\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/may-1992-year-end-parties-summer-begins-quirky-friendship-shawn-heats\/#an3\">Summer Begins <\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"s0\"><b><span style=\"color: #008000;\">Sophomore Year<\/span>\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"Summer 1992\u2013Solace in books and creativity; Pictures of my Genie Zara\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/summer-1992-solace-books-creativity-pictures-genie-zara\/\">Summer 1992<\/a>:<\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"Summer 1992\u2013Solace in books and creativity; Pictures of my Genie Zara\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/summer-1992-solace-books-creativity-pictures-genie-zara\/#an1\">Solace in books and creativity<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"Summer 1992\u2013Solace in books and creativity; Pictures of my Genie Zara\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/summer-1992-solace-books-creativity-pictures-genie-zara\/#an2\">Pictures of my Genie Zara<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"September 1992\u2013My Friends, Food Service and Classes, Frustrating German Teacher, Roommate and Campus Stories, Shawn Screws With My Head, Friendship with Peter?\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1992\/\">September 1992:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"September 1992\u2013My Friends, Food Service and Classes, Frustrating German Teacher, Roommate and Campus Stories, Shawn Screws With My Head, Friendship with Peter?\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1992\/#an1\">My Friends<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1992\u2013My Friends, Food Service and Classes, Frustrating German Teacher, Roommate and Campus Stories, Shawn Screws With My Head, Friendship with Peter?\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1992\/#an2\">Food Service and Classes<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1992\u2013My Friends, Food Service and Classes, Frustrating German Teacher, Roommate and Campus Stories, Shawn Screws With My Head, Friendship with Peter?\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1992\/#an3\">Frustrating German Teacher<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1992\u2013My Friends, Food Service and Classes, Frustrating German Teacher, Roommate and Campus Stories, Shawn Screws With My Head, Friendship with Peter?\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1992\/#an4\">Roommate and Campus Stories; Shawn Screws With My Head<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1992\u2013My Friends, Food Service and Classes, Frustrating German Teacher, Roommate and Campus Stories, Shawn Screws With My Head, Friendship with Peter?\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1992\/#an5\">More Friend Stories; Friendship with Peter?<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"October 1992\u2013Shawn\u2019s Exasperating Ambivalence; Friends With Sexual Benefits: Fun at First, But Began to Destroy our Friendship; The Secret Gets Out; Ill-Fated Pledge Class; We\u2019re Dating!\u2013No, We\u2019re Not. Yes, We Are. ACK!\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1992\/\">October 1992<\/a>&#8211;Shawn&#8217;s Exasperating Ambivalence:<\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"October 1992\u2013Shawn\u2019s Exasperating Ambivalence; Friends With Sexual Benefits: Fun at First, But Began to Destroy our Friendship; The Secret Gets Out; Ill-Fated Pledge Class; We\u2019re Dating!\u2013No, We\u2019re Not. Yes, We Are. ACK!\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1992\/#an1\">Friends With Sexual Benefits: Fun at First, But Began to Destroy our Friendship<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1992\u2013Shawn\u2019s Exasperating Ambivalence; Friends With Sexual Benefits: Fun at First, But Began to Destroy our Friendship; The Secret Gets Out; Ill-Fated Pledge Class; We\u2019re Dating!\u2013No, We\u2019re Not. Yes, We Are. ACK!\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1992\/#an2\">The Secret Gets Out<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1992\u2013Shawn\u2019s Exasperating Ambivalence; Friends With Sexual Benefits: Fun at First, But Began to Destroy our Friendship; The Secret Gets Out; Ill-Fated Pledge Class; We\u2019re Dating!\u2013No, We\u2019re Not. Yes, We Are. ACK!\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1992\/#an3\">Ill-Fated Pledge Class<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1992\u2013Shawn\u2019s Exasperating Ambivalence; Friends With Sexual Benefits: Fun at First, But Began to Destroy our Friendship; The Secret Gets Out; Ill-Fated Pledge Class; We\u2019re Dating!\u2013No, We\u2019re Not. Yes, We Are. ACK!\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1992\/#an4\">We&#8217;re Dating!&#8211;No, We&#8217;re Not.\u00a0 Yes, We Are.\u00a0 ACK!<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"November 1992\u2013Pat Robertson Screws Up; Peter Turns the Screws; Peter is PW; Obscene Phone Caller; Shawn Goes Animal-House on Me During my Shower; Selective Mutism Strikes at a Zeta Party\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1992\/\">November 1992:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"November 1992\u2013Pat Robertson Screws Up; Peter Turns the Screws; Peter is PW; Obscene Phone Caller; Shawn Goes Animal-House on Me During my Shower; Selective Mutism Strikes at a Zeta Party\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1992\/#an1\">Pat Robertson Screws Up<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"November 1992\u2013Pat Robertson Screws Up; Peter Turns the Screws; Peter is PW; Obscene Phone Caller; Shawn Goes Animal-House on Me During my Shower; Selective Mutism Strikes at a Zeta Party\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1992\/#an2\">Peter Turns the Screws<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"November 1992\u2013Pat Robertson Screws Up; Peter Turns the Screws; Peter is PW; Obscene Phone Caller; Shawn Goes Animal-House on Me During my Shower; Selective Mutism Strikes at a Zeta Party\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1992\/#an3\">Peter is PW<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"November 1992\u2013Pat Robertson Screws Up; Peter Turns the Screws; Peter is PW; Obscene Phone Caller; Shawn Goes Animal-House on Me During my Shower; Selective Mutism Strikes at a Zeta Party\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1992\/#an4\">Obscene Phone Caller<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"November 1992\u2013Pat Robertson Screws Up; Peter Turns the Screws; Peter is PW; Obscene Phone Caller; Shawn Goes Animal-House on Me During my Shower; Selective Mutism Strikes at a Zeta Party\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1992\/#an5\">Shawn Goes Animal-House on Me During my Shower<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"November 1992\u2013Pat Robertson Screws Up; Peter Turns the Screws; Peter is PW; Obscene Phone Caller; Shawn Goes Animal-House on Me During my Shower; Selective Mutism Strikes at a Zeta Party\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1992\/#an6\">Selective Mutism Strikes at a Zeta Party<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"December 1992\u2013InterVarsity Group is Organized; The Fire Burns Hotter; The Dreadful Night; Accidents Will Happen; Confronting Shawn\u2019s Psychological Abuse; A Proposed Cool-Off; Poems of Werewolves and Longing; Reading Clarissa, My Drawings of Her\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1992\/\">December 1992:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"December 1992\u2013InterVarsity Group is Organized; The Fire Burns Hotter; The Dreadful Night; Accidents Will Happen; Confronting Shawn\u2019s Psychological Abuse; A Proposed Cool-Off; Poems of Werewolves and Longing; Reading Clarissa, My Drawings of Her\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1992\/#an1\">InterVarsity Group is Organized<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"December 1992\u2013InterVarsity Group is Organized; The Fire Burns Hotter; The Dreadful Night; Accidents Will Happen; Confronting Shawn\u2019s Psychological Abuse; A Proposed Cool-Off; Poems of Werewolves and Longing; Reading Clarissa, My Drawings of Her\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1992\/#an2\">The Fire Burns Hotter; The Dreadful Night (Shawn Almost Goes Too Far)<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"December 1992\u2013InterVarsity Group is Organized; The Fire Burns Hotter; The Dreadful Night; Accidents Will Happen; Confronting Shawn\u2019s Psychological Abuse; A Proposed Cool-Off; Poems of Werewolves and Longing; Reading Clarissa, My Drawings of Her\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1992\/#an3\">Accidents Will Happen<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"December 1992\u2013InterVarsity Group is Organized; The Fire Burns Hotter; The Dreadful Night; Accidents Will Happen; Confronting Shawn\u2019s Psychological Abuse; A Proposed Cool-Off; Poems of Werewolves and Longing; Reading Clarissa, My Drawings of Her\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1992\/#an4\">Confronting Shawn&#8217;s Psychological Abuse<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"December 1992\u2013InterVarsity Group is Organized; The Fire Burns Hotter; The Dreadful Night; Accidents Will Happen; Confronting Shawn\u2019s Psychological Abuse; A Proposed Cool-Off; Poems of Werewolves and Longing; Reading Clarissa, My Drawings of Her\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1992\/#an5\">A Proposed Cool-Off<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"December 1992\u2013InterVarsity Group is Organized; The Fire Burns Hotter; The Dreadful Night; Accidents Will Happen; Confronting Shawn\u2019s Psychological Abuse; A Proposed Cool-Off; Poems of Werewolves and Longing; Reading Clarissa, My Drawings of Her\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1992\/#an6\">Poems of Werewolves and Longing<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"December 1992\u2013InterVarsity Group is Organized; The Fire Burns Hotter; The Dreadful Night; Accidents Will Happen; Confronting Shawn\u2019s Psychological Abuse; A Proposed Cool-Off; Poems of Werewolves and Longing; Reading Clarissa, My Drawings of Her\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1992\/#an7\">Reading Clarissa; My Drawings of Her <\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"January 1993\u2013Irish Writers Class and Insurance Mix-Ups; Psychological Hell as Shawn Turns Dark and Moody; Corruption in the Campus Administration; Pregnancy Scare\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/january-1993\/\">January 1993:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"January 1993\u2013Irish Writers Class and Insurance Mix-Ups; Psychological Hell as Shawn Turns Dark and Moody; Corruption in the Campus Administration; Pregnancy Scare\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/january-1993\/#an1\">Irish Writers Class<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"January 1993\u2013Irish Writers Class and Insurance Mix-Ups; Psychological Hell as Shawn Turns Dark and Moody; Corruption in the Campus Administration; Pregnancy Scare\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/january-1993\/#an2\">Psychological Hell as Shawn Turns Dark and Moody<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"January 1993\u2013Irish Writers Class and Insurance Mix-Ups; Psychological Hell as Shawn Turns Dark and Moody; Corruption in the Campus Administration; Pregnancy Scare\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/january-1993\/#an3\">Insurance Mix-Ups and Corruption in the Campus Administration<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"January 1993\u2013Irish Writers Class and Insurance Mix-Ups; Psychological Hell as Shawn Turns Dark and Moody; Corruption in the Campus Administration; Pregnancy Scare\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/january-1993\/#an4\">Pregnancy Scare<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"February 1993\u2013Spring Classes; Crush on a Teacher; Lit Teacher Becomes My Writing Mentor; \u201cUgh\u201d Poem; Sexual Relations with Shawn: The Downward Spiral to a Crash; Counseling\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1993\/\">February 1993:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"February 1993\u2013Spring Classes; Crush on a Teacher; Lit Teacher Becomes My Writing Mentor; \u201cUgh\u201d Poem; Sexual Relations with Shawn: The Downward Spiral to a Crash; Counseling\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1993\/#an1\">Spring Classes; Crush on a Teacher; Lit Teacher Becomes My Writing Mentor; &#8220;Ugh&#8221; Poem<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"February 1993\u2013Spring Classes; Crush on a Teacher; Lit Teacher Becomes My Writing Mentor; \u201cUgh\u201d Poem; Sexual Relations with Shawn: The Downward Spiral to a Crash; Counseling\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1993\/#an2\">Sexual Relations with Shawn: The Downward Spiral to a Crash<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"February 1993\u2013Spring Classes; Crush on a Teacher; Lit Teacher Becomes My Writing Mentor; \u201cUgh\u201d Poem; Sexual Relations with Shawn: The Downward Spiral to a Crash; Counseling\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1993\/#an3\">Counseling<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"March 1993\u2013School Scandal; Shawn Rips Me Apart; Spring Break; My Drawings of Ann Radcliffe Characters; I\u2019m Cold to Shawn and it Bugs Him; the Power Goes Out\u2013and the Water\u2013in an Ice Storm\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1993\/\">March 1993:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"March 1993\u2013School Scandal; Shawn Rips Me Apart; Spring Break; My Drawings of Ann Radcliffe Characters; I\u2019m Cold to Shawn and it Bugs Him; the Power Goes Out\u2013and the Water\u2013in an Ice Storm\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1993\/#an1\">School Scandal<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"March 1993\u2013School Scandal; Shawn Rips Me Apart; Spring Break; My Drawings of Ann Radcliffe Characters; I\u2019m Cold to Shawn and it Bugs Him; the Power Goes Out\u2013and the Water\u2013in an Ice Storm\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1993\/#an2\">Shawn Rips Me Apart for NVLD Traits<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"March 1993\u2013School Scandal; Shawn Rips Me Apart; Spring Break; My Drawings of Ann Radcliffe Characters; I\u2019m Cold to Shawn and it Bugs Him; the Power Goes Out\u2013and the Water\u2013in an Ice Storm\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1993\/#an3\">Spring Break; My Drawings of Ann Radcliffe Characters<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"March 1993\u2013School Scandal; Shawn Rips Me Apart; Spring Break; My Drawings of Ann Radcliffe Characters; I\u2019m Cold to Shawn and it Bugs Him; the Power Goes Out\u2013and the Water\u2013in an Ice Storm\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1993\/#an4\">I&#8217;m Cold to Shawn and it Bugs Him<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"March 1993\u2013School Scandal; Shawn Rips Me Apart; Spring Break; My Drawings of Ann Radcliffe Characters; I\u2019m Cold to Shawn and it Bugs Him; the Power Goes Out\u2013and the Water\u2013in an Ice Storm\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1993\/#an5\">The Power Goes Out&#8211;and the Water&#8211;in an Ice Storm<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"April 1993\u2013I Meet Rick, My Admirer From Afar; Ending Friends-with-Benefits for Good\u2013After One Last Time; Shawn Leaves: His Brother Turns Deathly Ill; My Humiliation as Rachel Exposes How the Sorority Abused Me\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1993\/\">April 1993:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"April 1993\u2013I Meet Rick, My Admirer From Afar; Ending Friends-with-Benefits for Good\u2013After One Last Time; Shawn Leaves: His Brother Turns Deathly Ill; My Humiliation as Rachel Exposes How the Sorority Abused Me\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1993\/#an1\">I Meet Rick, My Admirer From Afar<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"April 1993\u2013I Meet Rick, My Admirer From Afar; Ending Friends-with-Benefits for Good\u2013After One Last Time; Shawn Leaves: His Brother Turns Deathly Ill; My Humiliation as Rachel Exposes How the Sorority Abused Me\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1993\/#an2\">Ending Friends-with-Benefits for Good&#8211;After One Last Time<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"April 1993\u2013I Meet Rick, My Admirer From Afar; Ending Friends-with-Benefits for Good\u2013After One Last Time; Shawn Leaves: His Brother Turns Deathly Ill; My Humiliation as Rachel Exposes How the Sorority Abused Me\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1993\/#an3\">Shawn Leaves: His Brother Turns Deathly Ill<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"April 1993\u2013I Meet Rick, My Admirer From Afar; Ending Friends-with-Benefits for Good\u2013After One Last Time; Shawn Leaves: His Brother Turns Deathly Ill; My Humiliation as Rachel Exposes How the Sorority Abused Me\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1993\/#an4\">My Humiliation as Rachel Exposes How the Sorority Abused Me <\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"May 1993\u2013The Pump Blows Up; Shawn Breaks Our Friendship and Departs; Learning Spanish\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/may-1993\/\">May 1993:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"May 1993\u2013The Pump Blows Up; Shawn Breaks Our Friendship and Departs; Learning Spanish\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/may-1993\/#an1\">The Pump Blows Up<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"May 1993\u2013The Pump Blows Up; Shawn Breaks Our Friendship and Departs; Learning Spanish\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/may-1993\/#an2\">Shawn Breaks Our Friendship and Departs<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"May 1993\u2013The Pump Blows Up; Shawn Breaks Our Friendship and Departs; Learning Spanish\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/may-1993\/#an3\">Learning Spanish<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><b><span style=\"color: #008000;\">Junior Year<\/span>\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"Summer 1993\u2013Music, Storm and Prophetic Dreams\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/summer-1993\/\">Summer 1993: <\/a>Music, Storm and Prophetic Dreams<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"September 1993\u2013Classmate a stand-in for \u201cRudy,\u201d Jigging at College Dance, Library Tales, Happiness Returns, Living with Friends in Krueger, Funny Library Stories, Shawn Calls, Psycho Roommates and Bug Wars, Return of Rick, Adjusting to New Dorm, Spitball-Throwing Teacher; Rat-Obsessed Teacher and Doctor Zhivago; A Teacher Dated a Student; InterVarsity Fun; Charlie Peacock Concert; Random Stories\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1993\/\">September 1993:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"September 1993\u2013Classmate a stand-in for \u201cRudy,\u201d Jigging at College Dance, Library Tales, Happiness Returns, Living with Friends in Krueger, Funny Library Stories, Shawn Calls, Psycho Roommates and Bug Wars, Return of Rick, Adjusting to New Dorm, Spitball-Throwing Teacher; Rat-Obsessed Teacher and Doctor Zhivago; A Teacher Dated a Student; InterVarsity Fun; Charlie Peacock Concert; Random Stories\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1993\/#an1\">Classmate a stand-in for &#8220;Rudy&#8221;; Jigging at College Dance<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1993\u2013Classmate a stand-in for \u201cRudy,\u201d Jigging at College Dance, Library Tales, Happiness Returns, Living with Friends in Krueger, Funny Library Stories, Shawn Calls, Psycho Roommates and Bug Wars, Return of Rick, Adjusting to New Dorm, Spitball-Throwing Teacher; Rat-Obsessed Teacher and Doctor Zhivago; A Teacher Dated a Student; InterVarsity Fun; Charlie Peacock Concert; Random Stories\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1993\/#an2\">Library Tales<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1993\u2013Classmate a stand-in for \u201cRudy,\u201d Jigging at College Dance, Library Tales, Happiness Returns, Living with Friends in Krueger, Funny Library Stories, Shawn Calls, Psycho Roommates and Bug Wars, Return of Rick, Adjusting to New Dorm, Spitball-Throwing Teacher; Rat-Obsessed Teacher and Doctor Zhivago; A Teacher Dated a Student; InterVarsity Fun; Charlie Peacock Concert; Random Stories\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1993\/#an3\">Happiness Returns<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1993\u2013Classmate a stand-in for \u201cRudy,\u201d Jigging at College Dance, Library Tales, Happiness Returns, Living with Friends in Krueger, Funny Library Stories, Shawn Calls, Psycho Roommates and Bug Wars, Return of Rick, Adjusting to New Dorm, Spitball-Throwing Teacher; Rat-Obsessed Teacher and Doctor Zhivago; A Teacher Dated a Student; InterVarsity Fun; Charlie Peacock Concert; Random Stories\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1993\/#an4\"> Living with Friends in Krueger<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1993\u2013Classmate a stand-in for \u201cRudy,\u201d Jigging at College Dance, Library Tales, Happiness Returns, Living with Friends in Krueger, Funny Library Stories, Shawn Calls, Psycho Roommates and Bug Wars, Return of Rick, Adjusting to New Dorm, Spitball-Throwing Teacher; Rat-Obsessed Teacher and Doctor Zhivago; A Teacher Dated a Student; InterVarsity Fun; Charlie Peacock Concert; Random Stories\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1993\/#an5\">Funny Library Stories<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1993\u2013Classmate a stand-in for \u201cRudy,\u201d Jigging at College Dance, Library Tales, Happiness Returns, Living with Friends in Krueger, Funny Library Stories, Shawn Calls, Psycho Roommates and Bug Wars, Return of Rick, Adjusting to New Dorm, Spitball-Throwing Teacher; Rat-Obsessed Teacher and Doctor Zhivago; A Teacher Dated a Student; InterVarsity Fun; Charlie Peacock Concert; Random Stories\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1993\/#an6\">Shawn Calls<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1993\u2013Classmate a stand-in for \u201cRudy,\u201d Jigging at College Dance, Library Tales, Happiness Returns, Living with Friends in Krueger, Funny Library Stories, Shawn Calls, Psycho Roommates and Bug Wars, Return of Rick, Adjusting to New Dorm, Spitball-Throwing Teacher; Rat-Obsessed Teacher and Doctor Zhivago; A Teacher Dated a Student; InterVarsity Fun; Charlie Peacock Concert; Random Stories\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1993\/#an7\">Psycho Roommates and Bug Wars<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1993\u2013Classmate a stand-in for \u201cRudy,\u201d Jigging at College Dance, Library Tales, Happiness Returns, Living with Friends in Krueger, Funny Library Stories, Shawn Calls, Psycho Roommates and Bug Wars, Return of Rick, Adjusting to New Dorm, Spitball-Throwing Teacher; Rat-Obsessed Teacher and Doctor Zhivago; A Teacher Dated a Student; InterVarsity Fun; Charlie Peacock Concert; Random Stories\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1993\/#an8\">Return of Rick<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1993\u2013Classmate a stand-in for \u201cRudy,\u201d Jigging at College Dance, Library Tales, Happiness Returns, Living with Friends in Krueger, Funny Library Stories, Shawn Calls, Psycho Roommates and Bug Wars, Return of Rick, Adjusting to New Dorm, Spitball-Throwing Teacher; Rat-Obsessed Teacher and Doctor Zhivago; A Teacher Dated a Student; InterVarsity Fun; Charlie Peacock Concert; Random Stories\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1993\/#an9\">Adjusting to New Dorm<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1993\u2013Classmate a stand-in for \u201cRudy,\u201d Jigging at College Dance, Library Tales, Happiness Returns, Living with Friends in Krueger, Funny Library Stories, Shawn Calls, Psycho Roommates and Bug Wars, Return of Rick, Adjusting to New Dorm, Spitball-Throwing Teacher; Rat-Obsessed Teacher and Doctor Zhivago; A Teacher Dated a Student; InterVarsity Fun; Charlie Peacock Concert; Random Stories\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1993\/#an10\">Spitball-Throwing Teacher<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1993\u2013Classmate a stand-in for \u201cRudy,\u201d Jigging at College Dance, Library Tales, Happiness Returns, Living with Friends in Krueger, Funny Library Stories, Shawn Calls, Psycho Roommates and Bug Wars, Return of Rick, Adjusting to New Dorm, Spitball-Throwing Teacher; Rat-Obsessed Teacher and Doctor Zhivago; A Teacher Dated a Student; InterVarsity Fun; Charlie Peacock Concert; Random Stories\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1993\/#an11\">Rat-Obsessed Teacher and Doctor Zhivago<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1993\u2013Classmate a stand-in for \u201cRudy,\u201d Jigging at College Dance, Library Tales, Happiness Returns, Living with Friends in Krueger, Funny Library Stories, Shawn Calls, Psycho Roommates and Bug Wars, Return of Rick, Adjusting to New Dorm, Spitball-Throwing Teacher; Rat-Obsessed Teacher and Doctor Zhivago; A Teacher Dated a Student; InterVarsity Fun; Charlie Peacock Concert; Random Stories\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1993\/#an12\">A Teacher Dated a Student; InterVarsity Fun<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1993\u2013Classmate a stand-in for \u201cRudy,\u201d Jigging at College Dance, Library Tales, Happiness Returns, Living with Friends in Krueger, Funny Library Stories, Shawn Calls, Psycho Roommates and Bug Wars, Return of Rick, Adjusting to New Dorm, Spitball-Throwing Teacher; Rat-Obsessed Teacher and Doctor Zhivago; A Teacher Dated a Student; InterVarsity Fun; Charlie Peacock Concert; Random Stories\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1993\/#an13\">Charlie Peacock Concert<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1993\u2013Classmate a stand-in for \u201cRudy,\u201d Jigging at College Dance, Library Tales, Happiness Returns, Living with Friends in Krueger, Funny Library Stories, Shawn Calls, Psycho Roommates and Bug Wars, Return of Rick, Adjusting to New Dorm, Spitball-Throwing Teacher; Rat-Obsessed Teacher and Doctor Zhivago; A Teacher Dated a Student; InterVarsity Fun; Charlie Peacock Concert; Random Stories\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1993\/#an14\">Random Stories <\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p><strong><a title=\"October 1993: Letter to Shawn; Erotic Vampire Dream; I Ask Out James; Peter Calls!; The Fateful First Meeting of Phil; The Birth of Dolphin Philosophy; Our Group of Friends Splits Apart\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1993\/\">October 1993:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"October 1993: Letter to Shawn; Erotic Vampire Dream; I Ask Out James; Peter Calls!; The Fateful First Meeting of Phil; The Birth of Dolphin Philosophy; Our Group of Friends Splits Apart\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1993\/#an1\">Letter to Shawn<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1993: Letter to Shawn; Erotic Vampire Dream; I Ask Out James; Peter Calls!; The Fateful First Meeting of Phil; The Birth of Dolphin Philosophy; Our Group of Friends Splits Apart\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1993\/#an2\">Erotic Vampire Dream (Inspiration for Alexander Boa)<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1993: Letter to Shawn; Erotic Vampire Dream; I Ask Out James; Peter Calls!; The Fateful First Meeting of Phil; The Birth of Dolphin Philosophy; Our Group of Friends Splits Apart\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1993\/#an3\">I Ask Out James<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1993: Letter to Shawn; Erotic Vampire Dream; I Ask Out James; Peter Calls!; The Fateful First Meeting of Phil; The Birth of Dolphin Philosophy; Our Group of Friends Splits Apart\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1993\/#an4\">Peter Calls!<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1993: Letter to Shawn; Erotic Vampire Dream; I Ask Out James; Peter Calls!; The Fateful First Meeting of Phil; The Birth of Dolphin Philosophy; Our Group of Friends Splits Apart\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1993\/#an5\">The Fateful First Meeting of Phil<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1993: Letter to Shawn; Erotic Vampire Dream; I Ask Out James; Peter Calls!; The Fateful First Meeting of Phil; The Birth of Dolphin Philosophy; Our Group of Friends Splits Apart\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1993\/#an6\">The Birth of Dolphin Philosophy<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1993: Letter to Shawn; Erotic Vampire Dream; I Ask Out James; Peter Calls!; The Fateful First Meeting of Phil; The Birth of Dolphin Philosophy; Our Group of Friends Splits Apart\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1993\/#an7\">Our Group of Friends Splits Apart<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"November 1993\u2013Seeing Phil in a Play, Seance Makes Contact, Car Accident, New Dating Prospects: Phil and Mike\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1993\/\">November 1993:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"November 1993\u2013Seeing Phil in a Play, Seance Makes Contact, Car Accident, New Dating Prospects: Phil and Mike\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1993\/#an1\">College Fun<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"November 1993\u2013Seeing Phil in a Play, Seance Makes Contact, Car Accident, New Dating Prospects: Phil and Mike\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1993\/#an2\">Seeing Phil in a Play<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"November 1993\u2013Seeing Phil in a Play, Seance Makes Contact, Car Accident, New Dating Prospects: Phil and Mike\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1993\/#an3\">Seance Makes Contact<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"November 1993\u2013Seeing Phil in a Play, Seance Makes Contact, Car Accident, New Dating Prospects: Phil and Mike\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1993\/#an4\">Car Accident<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"November 1993\u2013Seeing Phil in a Play, Seance Makes Contact, Car Accident, New Dating Prospects: Phil and Mike\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1993\/#an5\">New Dating Prospects: Phil and Mike <\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"December 1993\u2013Praying for the Buildings; That Fateful First Date with Phil; Complication: A Rival; Call from Shawn!; Another Meeting with Peter\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1993\/\">December 1993:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"December 1993\u2013Praying for the Buildings; That Fateful First Date with Phil; Complication: A Rival; Call from Shawn!; Another Meeting with Peter\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1993\/#an1\">Praying for the Buildings<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"December 1993\u2013Praying for the Buildings; That Fateful First Date with Phil; Complication: A Rival; Call from Shawn!; Another Meeting with Peter\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1993\/#an2\">That Fateful First Date with Phil<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"December 1993\u2013Praying for the Buildings; That Fateful First Date with Phil; Complication: A Rival; Call from Shawn!; Another Meeting with Peter\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1993\/#an3\">Complication: A Rival<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"December 1993\u2013Praying for the Buildings; That Fateful First Date with Phil; Complication: A Rival; Call from Shawn!; Another Meeting with Peter\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1993\/#an4\">Call from Shawn!<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"December 1993\u2013Praying for the Buildings; That Fateful First Date with Phil; Complication: A Rival; Call from Shawn!; Another Meeting with Peter\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1993\/#an5\">Another Meeting with Peter<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"January 1994\u2013He Can\u2019t Decide Between the Girl he Wants and the Girl he Doesn\u2019t; Film Class; I Spend a Night with Phil\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/january-1994\/\">January 1994:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"January 1994\u2013He Can\u2019t Decide Between the Girl he Wants and the Girl he Doesn\u2019t; Film Class; I Spend a Night with Phil\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/january-1994\/#an1\">He Can&#8217;t Decide Between the Girl he Wants and the Girl he Doesn&#8217;t<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"January 1994\u2013He Can\u2019t Decide Between the Girl he Wants and the Girl he Doesn\u2019t; Film Class; I Spend a Night with Phil\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/january-1994\/#an2\">Film Class<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"January 1994\u2013He Can\u2019t Decide Between the Girl he Wants and the Girl he Doesn\u2019t; Film Class; I Spend a Night with Phil\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/january-1994\/#an3\">I Spend a Night with Phil <\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"February 1994\u2013Spring Classes, Big Red Flag: Phil\u2019s Dysfunctional Family Life, the Drunken Stork (Phil\u2019s Controlling Nature Manifests), Idealizing Phase and Early Sign of Control, Phil Tries to Control my Friendships, Unfair Accusations from his Dad and Brother, Phil Gaslights Me with Fake Dreams, Ridicule and Psychological Abuse, Another Pre-Engagement\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1994\/\">February 1994:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"February 1994\u2013Spring Classes, Big Red Flag: Phil\u2019s Dysfunctional Family Life, the Drunken Stork (Phil\u2019s Controlling Nature Manifests), Idealizing Phase and Early Sign of Control, Phil Tries to Control my Friendships, Unfair Accusations from his Dad and Brother, Phil Gaslights Me with Fake Dreams, Ridicule and Psychological Abuse, Another Pre-Engagement\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1994\/#an1\">Spring Classes<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"February 1994\u2013Spring Classes, Big Red Flag: Phil\u2019s Dysfunctional Family Life, the Drunken Stork (Phil\u2019s Controlling Nature Manifests), Idealizing Phase and Early Sign of Control, Phil Tries to Control my Friendships, Unfair Accusations from his Dad and Brother, Phil Gaslights Me with Fake Dreams, Ridicule and Psychological Abuse, Another Pre-Engagement\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1994\/#an2\">Big Red Flag: Phil&#8217;s Dysfunctional Family Life<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"February 1994\u2013Spring Classes, Big Red Flag: Phil\u2019s Dysfunctional Family Life, the Drunken Stork (Phil\u2019s Controlling Nature Manifests), Idealizing Phase and Early Sign of Control, Phil Tries to Control my Friendships, Unfair Accusations from his Dad and Brother, Phil Gaslights Me with Fake Dreams, Ridicule and Psychological Abuse, Another Pre-Engagement\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1994\/#an3\">The Drunken Stork (Phil&#8217;s Controlling Nature Manifests)<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"February 1994\u2013Spring Classes, Big Red Flag: Phil\u2019s Dysfunctional Family Life, the Drunken Stork (Phil\u2019s Controlling Nature Manifests), Idealizing Phase and Early Sign of Control, Phil Tries to Control my Friendships, Unfair Accusations from his Dad and Brother, Phil Gaslights Me with Fake Dreams, Ridicule and Psychological Abuse, Another Pre-Engagement\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1994\/#an4\">Idealizing Phase and Early Sign of Control<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"February 1994\u2013Spring Classes, Big Red Flag: Phil\u2019s Dysfunctional Family Life, the Drunken Stork (Phil\u2019s Controlling Nature Manifests), Idealizing Phase and Early Sign of Control, Phil Tries to Control my Friendships, Unfair Accusations from his Dad and Brother, Phil Gaslights Me with Fake Dreams, Ridicule and Psychological Abuse, Another Pre-Engagement\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1994\/#an5\">Phil Tries to Control my Friendships, Unfair Accusations from his Dad and Brother<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"February 1994\u2013Spring Classes, Big Red Flag: Phil\u2019s Dysfunctional Family Life, the Drunken Stork (Phil\u2019s Controlling Nature Manifests), Idealizing Phase and Early Sign of Control, Phil Tries to Control my Friendships, Unfair Accusations from his Dad and Brother, Phil Gaslights Me with Fake Dreams, Ridicule and Psychological Abuse, Another Pre-Engagement\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1994\/#an6\"> Phil Gaslights Me with Fake Dreams, Ridicule and Psychological Abuse<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"February 1994\u2013Spring Classes, Big Red Flag: Phil\u2019s Dysfunctional Family Life, the Drunken Stork (Phil\u2019s Controlling Nature Manifests), Idealizing Phase and Early Sign of Control, Phil Tries to Control my Friendships, Unfair Accusations from his Dad and Brother, Phil Gaslights Me with Fake Dreams, Ridicule and Psychological Abuse, Another Pre-Engagement\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1994\/#an7\">Another Pre-Engagement<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"March 1994\u2013Controversial Play (Uncommon Women) and Emotional Manipulation\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1994\/\">March 1994:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"March 1994\u2013Whiteheart Concert\u2013Phil Meets Shawn, Controversial Play (Uncommon Women) Tears the School Apart, Phil\u2019s Emotional Manipulation and Gaslighting Begins in Full Force, We make wedding plans, more of Phil\u2019s fake dreams\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1994\/#an1\">Whiteheart Concert&#8211;Phil Meets Shawn<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"March 1994\u2013Whiteheart Concert\u2013Phil Meets Shawn, Controversial Play (Uncommon Women) Tears the School Apart, Phil\u2019s Emotional Manipulation and Gaslighting Begins in Full Force, We make wedding plans, more of Phil\u2019s fake dreams\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1994\/#an2\">Controversial Play (Uncommon Women) Tears the School Apart<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"March 1994\u2013Whiteheart Concert\u2013Phil Meets Shawn, Controversial Play (Uncommon Women) Tears the School Apart, Phil\u2019s Emotional Manipulation and Gaslighting Begins in Full Force, We make wedding plans, more of Phil\u2019s fake dreams\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1994\/#an3\">Phil&#8217;s Emotional Manipulation and Gaslighting Begin in Full Force<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"March 1994\u2013Whiteheart Concert\u2013Phil Meets Shawn, Controversial Play (Uncommon Women) Tears the School Apart, Phil\u2019s Emotional Manipulation and Gaslighting Begins in Full Force, We make wedding plans, more of Phil\u2019s fake dreams\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1994\/#an4\">We make wedding plans; more of Phil&#8217;s fake dreams<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"April 1994\u2013Engagement &amp; a Huge Mistake: A Clandestine Marriage\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1994\/\">April 1994:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"April 1994\u2013Phil and I get engaged\u2013after two months; Phil tries to guilt me into changing religion; Phil tries to force me to obey him; Castles in the air\u2013including plans to live on a desert island; A Secret Marriage; Hemorrhage and excruciating pain\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1994\/#an1\">Phil and I get engaged&#8211;after two months<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"April 1994\u2013Phil and I get engaged\u2013after two months; Phil tries to guilt me into changing religion; Phil tries to force me to obey him; Castles in the air\u2013including plans to live on a desert island; A Secret Marriage; Hemorrhage and excruciating pain\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1994\/#an2\">Phil tries to guilt me into changing religion<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"April 1994\u2013Phil and I get engaged\u2013after two months; Phil tries to guilt me into changing religion; Phil tries to force me to obey him; Castles in the air\u2013including plans to live on a desert island; A Secret Marriage; Hemorrhage and excruciating pain\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1994\/#an3\">Phil tries to force me to obey him<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"April 1994\u2013Phil and I get engaged\u2013after two months; Phil tries to guilt me into changing religion; Phil tries to force me to obey him; Castles in the air\u2013including plans to live on a desert island; A Secret Marriage; Hemorrhage and excruciating pain\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1994\/#an4\">Castles in the air&#8211;including plans to live on a desert island<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"April 1994\u2013Phil and I get engaged\u2013after two months; Phil tries to guilt me into changing religion; Phil tries to force me to obey him; Castles in the air\u2013including plans to live on a desert island; A Secret Marriage; Hemorrhage and excruciating pain\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1994\/#an5\">A Secret Marriage<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"April 1994\u2013Phil and I get engaged\u2013after two months; Phil tries to guilt me into changing religion; Phil tries to force me to obey him; Castles in the air\u2013including plans to live on a desert island; A Secret Marriage; Hemorrhage and excruciating pain\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1994\/#an6\">Hemorrhage and excruciating pain after first time<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<p><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"May 1994\u2013Phil\u2019s Nervous Breakdown &amp; Our Flight\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/may-1994\/\">May 1994:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"May 1994\u2013Phil\u2019s Nervous Breakdown; Our Flight: forced into deception\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/may-1994\/#an1\">Phil&#8217;s Nervous Breakdown<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"May 1994\u2013Phil\u2019s Nervous Breakdown; Our Flight: forced into deception\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/may-1994\/#an2\">Our Flight: forced into deception<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/may-1994\/#an3\">Summer Shockers<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"s0\"><b><span style=\"color: #008000;\">Senior Year<\/span>\u00a0<\/b><\/div>\n<div class=\"s0\"><\/div>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"June 1994\u2013Bits of Abuse Here and There\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/june-1994\/\">June 1994&#8211;<\/a>Bits of Abuse Here and There:<\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"June 1994\u2013Bits of Abuse Here and There; Losing my wisdom teeth; Phil\u2019s crappy jobs cause depression; Phil\u2019s fake dreams lead to a terrible fight; Using Natural Family Planning; Phil cuts down whatever is special to me; Phil\u2019s Mr. Hyde comes out: controlling, manipulative, verbally and emotionally abusive\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/june-1994\/#an1\">Losing my wisdom teeth<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"June 1994\u2013Bits of Abuse Here and There; Losing my wisdom teeth; Phil\u2019s crappy jobs cause depression; Phil\u2019s fake dreams lead to a terrible fight; Using Natural Family Planning; Phil cuts down whatever is special to me; Phil\u2019s Mr. Hyde comes out: controlling, manipulative, verbally and emotionally abusive\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/june-1994\/#an2\">Phil&#8217;s crappy jobs cause depression<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"June 1994\u2013Bits of Abuse Here and There; Losing my wisdom teeth; Phil\u2019s crappy jobs cause depression; Phil\u2019s fake dreams lead to a terrible fight; Using Natural Family Planning; Phil cuts down whatever is special to me; Phil\u2019s Mr. Hyde comes out: controlling, manipulative, verbally and emotionally abusive\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/june-1994\/#an3\">Phil&#8217;s fake dreams lead to a terrible fight<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"June 1994\u2013Bits of Abuse Here and There; Losing my wisdom teeth; Phil\u2019s crappy jobs cause depression; Phil\u2019s fake dreams lead to a terrible fight; Using Natural Family Planning; Phil cuts down whatever is special to me; Phil\u2019s Mr. Hyde comes out: controlling, manipulative, verbally and emotionally abusive\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/june-1994\/#an4\">Using Natural Family Planning<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"June 1994\u2013Bits of Abuse Here and There; Losing my wisdom teeth; Phil\u2019s crappy jobs cause depression; Phil\u2019s fake dreams lead to a terrible fight; Using Natural Family Planning; Phil cuts down whatever is special to me; Phil\u2019s Mr. Hyde comes out: controlling, manipulative, verbally and emotionally abusive\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/june-1994\/#an5\">Phil cuts down whatever is special to me<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"June 1994\u2013Bits of Abuse Here and There; Losing my wisdom teeth; Phil\u2019s crappy jobs cause depression; Phil\u2019s fake dreams lead to a terrible fight; Using Natural Family Planning; Phil cuts down whatever is special to me; Phil\u2019s Mr. Hyde comes out: controlling, manipulative, verbally and emotionally abusive\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/june-1994\/#an6\"> Phil&#8217;s Mr. Hyde comes out: controlling, manipulative, verbally and emotionally abusive<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"July and August 1994\u2013The Abuse Worsens in the Summer of Hell\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/july-and-august-1994\/\">July &amp;\u00a0August 1994:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"July and August 1994\u2013The Abuse Worsens in the Summer of Hell; Phil sexually assaults me anally; Phil tries to control me through refusing everything I want\u2013even proper hygiene; Phil\u2019s cruel hoax on me: his \u201csubconscious\u201d coming out to be with me; Phil\u2019s \u201csubconscious\u201d explains why he\u2019s coming out to talk to me; The lies unravel as Phil admits to conning me; also, fright as my periods turn wacky; How Phil\u2019s behavior fit the signs of abuse; Phil Mindscrews Me: changes history, blames me for things that were not my fault, treats me like an idiot during games; Phil says if he abuses me, it takes two people to sign the divorce papers\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/july-and-august-1994\/#an1\">The Abuse Worsens in the Summer of Hell<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"July and August 1994\u2013The Abuse Worsens in the Summer of Hell; Phil sexually assaults me anally; Phil tries to control me through refusing everything I want\u2013even proper hygiene; Phil\u2019s cruel hoax on me: his \u201csubconscious\u201d coming out to be with me; Phil\u2019s \u201csubconscious\u201d explains why he\u2019s coming out to talk to me; The lies unravel as Phil admits to conning me; also, fright as my periods turn wacky; How Phil\u2019s behavior fit the signs of abuse; Phil Mindscrews Me: changes history, blames me for things that were not my fault, treats me like an idiot during games; Phil says if he abuses me, it takes two people to sign the divorce papers\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/july-and-august-1994\/#an2\">Phil rapes me anally<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"July and August 1994\u2013The Abuse Worsens in the Summer of Hell; Phil sexually assaults me anally; Phil tries to control me through refusing everything I want\u2013even proper hygiene; Phil\u2019s cruel hoax on me: his \u201csubconscious\u201d coming out to be with me; Phil\u2019s \u201csubconscious\u201d explains why he\u2019s coming out to talk to me; The lies unravel as Phil admits to conning me; also, fright as my periods turn wacky; How Phil\u2019s behavior fit the signs of abuse; Phil Mindscrews Me: changes history, blames me for things that were not my fault, treats me like an idiot during games; Phil says if he abuses me, it takes two people to sign the divorce papers\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/july-and-august-1994\/#an3\">Phil tries to control me through refusing everything I want&#8211;even proper hygiene<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"July and August 1994\u2013The Abuse Worsens in the Summer of Hell; Phil sexually assaults me anally; Phil tries to control me through refusing everything I want\u2013even proper hygiene; Phil\u2019s cruel hoax on me: his \u201csubconscious\u201d coming out to be with me; Phil\u2019s \u201csubconscious\u201d explains why he\u2019s coming out to talk to me; The lies unravel as Phil admits to conning me; also, fright as my periods turn wacky; How Phil\u2019s behavior fit the signs of abuse; Phil Mindscrews Me: changes history, blames me for things that were not my fault, treats me like an idiot during games; Phil says if he abuses me, it takes two people to sign the divorce papers\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/july-and-august-1994\/#an4\">Phil&#8217;s cruel hoax on me: his &#8220;subconscious&#8221; coming out to be with me<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"July and August 1994\u2013The Abuse Worsens in the Summer of Hell; Phil sexually assaults me anally; Phil tries to control me through refusing everything I want\u2013even proper hygiene; Phil\u2019s cruel hoax on me: his \u201csubconscious\u201d coming out to be with me; Phil\u2019s \u201csubconscious\u201d explains why he\u2019s coming out to talk to me; The lies unravel as Phil admits to conning me; also, fright as my periods turn wacky; How Phil\u2019s behavior fit the signs of abuse; Phil Mindscrews Me: changes history, blames me for things that were not my fault, treats me like an idiot during games; Phil says if he abuses me, it takes two people to sign the divorce papers\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/july-and-august-1994\/#an5\">Phil&#8217;s &#8220;subconscious&#8221; explains why he&#8217;s coming out to talk to me<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"July and August 1994\u2013The Abuse Worsens in the Summer of Hell; Phil sexually assaults me anally; Phil tries to control me through refusing everything I want\u2013even proper hygiene; Phil\u2019s cruel hoax on me: his \u201csubconscious\u201d coming out to be with me; Phil\u2019s \u201csubconscious\u201d explains why he\u2019s coming out to talk to me; The lies unravel as Phil admits to conning me; also, fright as my periods turn wacky; How Phil\u2019s behavior fit the signs of abuse; Phil Mindscrews Me: changes history, blames me for things that were not my fault, treats me like an idiot during games; Phil says if he abuses me, it takes two people to sign the divorce papers\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/july-and-august-1994\/#an6\">The lies unravel as Phil admits to conning me; also, fright as my periods turn wacky<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"July and August 1994\u2013The Abuse Worsens in the Summer of Hell; Phil sexually assaults me anally; Phil tries to control me through refusing everything I want\u2013even proper hygiene; Phil\u2019s cruel hoax on me: his \u201csubconscious\u201d coming out to be with me; Phil\u2019s \u201csubconscious\u201d explains why he\u2019s coming out to talk to me; The lies unravel as Phil admits to conning me; also, fright as my periods turn wacky; How Phil\u2019s behavior fit the signs of abuse; Phil Mindscrews Me: changes history, blames me for things that were not my fault, treats me like an idiot during games; Phil says if he abuses me, it takes two people to sign the divorce papers\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/july-and-august-1994\/#an7\">How Phil&#8217;s behavior fit the signs of abuse<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"July and August 1994\u2013The Abuse Worsens in the Summer of Hell; Phil sexually assaults me anally; Phil tries to control me through refusing everything I want\u2013even proper hygiene; Phil\u2019s cruel hoax on me: his \u201csubconscious\u201d coming out to be with me; Phil\u2019s \u201csubconscious\u201d explains why he\u2019s coming out to talk to me; The lies unravel as Phil admits to conning me; also, fright as my periods turn wacky; How Phil\u2019s behavior fit the signs of abuse; Phil Mindscrews Me: changes history, blames me for things that were not my fault, treats me like an idiot during games; Phil says if he abuses me, it takes two people to sign the divorce papers\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/july-and-august-1994\/#an8\">Phil Mindscrews Me: changes history, blames me for things that were not my fault, treats me like an idiot during games<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"July and August 1994\u2013The Abuse Worsens in the Summer of Hell; Phil sexually assaults me anally; Phil tries to control me through refusing everything I want\u2013even proper hygiene; Phil\u2019s cruel hoax on me: his \u201csubconscious\u201d coming out to be with me; Phil\u2019s \u201csubconscious\u201d explains why he\u2019s coming out to talk to me; The lies unravel as Phil admits to conning me; also, fright as my periods turn wacky; How Phil\u2019s behavior fit the signs of abuse; Phil Mindscrews Me: changes history, blames me for things that were not my fault, treats me like an idiot during games; Phil says if he abuses me, it takes two people to sign the divorce papers\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/july-and-august-1994\/#an9\">Phil says if he abuses me, it takes two people to sign the divorce papers<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"July and August 1994\u2013The Abuse Worsens in the Summer of Hell\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/july-and-august-1994\/#an10\">Pearl reveals that Phil is costing me social invitations<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"July and August 1994\u2013The Abuse Worsens in the Summer of Hell\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/july-and-august-1994\/#an11\">Hints that Phil is checking out of the marriage<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<p><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"September 1994\u2013Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1994\/\">September 1994<\/a>&#8211;Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"September 1994\u2013Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1994\/#an1\">Phil picks fights and avoids responsibilities to make me feel like a shrew<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1994\u2013Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1994\/#an2\">My husband Phil, Dave and Pearl call me a party pooper for getting a Grade II concussion<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1994\u2013Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1994\/#an3\">I&#8217;m ecstatic to be back with my friends (the ones Phil hates); I meet Charles<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1994\u2013Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1994\/#an4\">Phil vanishes without a word of why<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1994\u2013Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1994\/#an5\">Phil wants a divorce<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1994\u2013Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1994\/#an6\">My friends tells me that Phil is controlling and possessive<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1994\u2013Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1994\/#an7\">My first Pentecostal church service: They speak in tongues<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1994\u2013Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1994\/#an8\">Phil refuses to accept responsibility for the divorce<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1994\u2013Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1994\/#an9\">Phil cuts off contact<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1994\u2013Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1994\/#an10\">Attack of Phil&#8217;s Flying Monkey and Sycophant: Dirk<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1994\u2013Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1994\/#an11\">Phil the narcissist admits to manipulating people and using them as pawns in his game with me<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1994\u2013Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1994\/#an12\">Phil comes crawling back to me&#8211;and we put our marriage on paper<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1994\u2013Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1994\/#an13\">Phil demands my complete submission and forces me into oral sex&#8211;and my will is broken, for fear he&#8217;ll divorce me again<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1994\u2013Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1994\/#an14\">Phil walks away from me again&#8211;because I dare to have my own mind, opinions and needs&#8211;and because he&#8217;s a sociopath<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1994\u2013Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1994\/#an15\">Fierce anger against Phil and PTSD from the abuse<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<p><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"October 1994\u2013New Friends, New Guy, and Pearl\u2019s Illness\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1994\/\">October 1994:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"October 1994\u2013New Friends, New Guy, and Pearl\u2019s Illness\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1994\/#an1\">My friends tell me Phil is psychotic<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1994\u2013New Friends, New Guy, and Pearl\u2019s Illness\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1994\/#an2\">&#8220;Soul Ties&#8221;<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1994\u2013New Friends, New Guy, and Pearl\u2019s Illness\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1994\/#an3\">I return Phil&#8217;s things and he skewers me; consolation from friends<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1994\u2013New Friends, New Guy, and Pearl\u2019s Illness\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1994\/#an4\">My letter to Phil<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1994\u2013New Friends, New Guy, and Pearl\u2019s Illness\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1994\/#an5\">Phil shows my letter to his friends; I&#8217;m triggered by reminder of forced oral sex <\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1994\u2013New Friends, New Guy, and Pearl\u2019s Illness\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1994\/#an6\">I start dating Charles<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1994\u2013New Friends, New Guy, and Pearl\u2019s Illness\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1994\/#an7\">Friends tell me Phil is controlling<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1994\u2013New Friends, New Guy, and Pearl\u2019s Illness\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1994\/#an8\">I feel stalked by Phil<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1994\u2013New Friends, New Guy, and Pearl\u2019s Illness\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1994\/#an9\">Poem about being stalked by Phil<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1994\u2013New Friends, New Guy, and Pearl\u2019s Illness\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1994\/#an10\">Fury at Phil stalking me and rubbing my face in his new relationship<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<p><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"November 1994\u2013Confronting Phil\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1994\/\">November 1994:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"November 1994\u2013Confronting Phil\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1994\/#an1\">Struggling to move on despite the pain<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"November 1994\u2013Confronting Phil\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1994\/#an2\">I confront Phil about his abuse<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"November 1994\u2013Confronting Phil\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1994\/#an3\">Breaking up with Charles<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"November 1994\u2013Confronting Phil\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1994\/#an4\">New definitions: Did Phil rape me?<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"November 1994\u2013Confronting Phil\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1994\/#an5\">Persephone confronts me about the letter<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"November 1994\u2013Confronting Phil\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1994\/#an6\">Pregnancy Scare&#8211;for real this time<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<p><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"December 1994\u2013Moving On and Meeting the Vampire\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1994\/\">December 1994:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"December 1994\u2013Moving On and Meeting the Vampire\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1994\/#an1\">Moving On<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"December 1994\u2013Moving On and Meeting the Vampire\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1994\/#an2\">Phil Spreads Lies About Me<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"December 1994\u2013Moving On and Meeting the Vampire\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1994\/#an3\">What College Kids Do With Snow<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"December 1994\u2013Moving On and Meeting the Vampire\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1994\/#an4\">Meeting the Vampire<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"January 1995\u2013Celtic Roots Class, SCA &amp; Hooking up to the Internet\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/january-1995\/\">January 1995:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"January 1995\u2013Celtic Roots Class, SCA &amp; Hooking up to the Internet\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/january-1995\/#an1\">A Date with the Vampire<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"January 1995\u2013Celtic Roots Class, SCA &amp; Hooking up to the Internet\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/january-1995\/#an2\">Celtic Class: Knotwork, Tin Whistles, SCA&#8211;and Drinking from a Skull<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"January 1995\u2013Celtic Roots Class, SCA &amp; Hooking up to the Internet\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/january-1995\/#an3\">The Teddy-O Incident; Birth of These Memoirs<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"January 1995\u2013Celtic Roots Class, SCA &amp; Hooking up to the Internet\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/january-1995\/#an4\">We Hook Up to the Internet&#8211;and Shawn Fixates on My Sex Life<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"January 1995\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/january-1995\/#an5\">New Guy Begging at My Feet<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"February 1995\u2013Life on TCB, New Men, and Meeting Cugan\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1995\/\">February 1995:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"February 1995\u2013Life on TCB, New Men, and Meeting Cugan\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1995\/#an1\">Life on TCB<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"February 1995\u2013Life on TCB, New Men, and Meeting Cugan\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1995\/#an2\">Meeting Cugan<\/a> (Hubby)<\/li>\n<li><a title=\"February 1995\u2013Life on TCB, New Men, and Meeting Cugan\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1995\/#an3\">Learning my ex Peter was a love-fraud; New Men<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"February 1995\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1995\/#an4\">Before Tracy, There Was the Avenger (Sociopathic Female Bullies Pt 1)<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"February 1995\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1995\/#an5\">Torn between three men as Catherine pushes me toward Cugan<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"February 1995\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1995\/#an6\">The Love Rectangle<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"February 1995\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1995\/#an7\">Torn between FIVE men!\u00a0 Me?<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"February 1995\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1995\/#an8\">Persephone&#8217;s Own Outrageous Stories of Phil&#8217;s Abuse<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"February 1995\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1995\/#an9\">College-style living<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"March 1995\u2013Phil Finds TCB; Gypsy\u2019s Party; Before I Met Tracy, There Was the Avenger; TCB Flame Wars; First SCA Event\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1995\/\">March 1995:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"March 1995\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1995\/#an1\">Online Shenanigans<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"March 1995\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1995\/#an2\">Phil Finds TCB; Meeting a Hit Man<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"March 1995\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1995\/#an3\">Gypsy&#8217;s Party: Healed friendship with Peter<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"March 1995\u2013Phil Finds TCB; Gypsy\u2019s Party; Sociopathic Female Bullies Pt 2: The Avenger Starts a Flame War; First SCA Event\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1995\/#an4\">The Avenger Starts a Flame War (Sociopathic Female Bullies Pt 2)<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"March 1995\u2013Phil Finds TCB; Gypsy\u2019s Party; Sociopathic Female Bullies Pt 2: The Avenger Starts a Flame War; First SCA Event\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1995\/#an5\">Meeting the elusive Speaker<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"March 1995\u2013Phil Finds TCB; Gypsy\u2019s Party; Sociopathic Female Bullies Pt 2: The Avenger Starts a Flame War; First SCA Event\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1995\/#an6\">First Date with Future Hubby Cugan<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"March 1995\u2013Phil Finds TCB; Gypsy\u2019s Party; Sociopathic Female Bullies Pt 2: The Avenger Starts a Flame War; First SCA Event\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1995\/#an7\">On Breaking Up with Kindness<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"March 1995\u2013Phil Finds TCB; Gypsy\u2019s Party; Sociopathic Female Bullies Pt 2: The Avenger Starts a Flame War; First SCA Event\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1995\/#an8\">Loony Roommies and Flying Gargoyles<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"March 1995\u2013Phil Finds TCB; Gypsy\u2019s Party; Sociopathic Female Bullies Pt 2: The Avenger Starts a Flame War; First SCA Event\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1995\/#an9\">The Goddess of Pleasure and Salt<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"March 1995\u2013Phil Finds TCB; Gypsy\u2019s Party; Sociopathic Female Bullies Pt 2: The Avenger Starts a Flame War; First SCA Event\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1995\/#an10\">A Conversation with Oscar Wilde<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"March 1995\u2013Phil Finds TCB; Gypsy\u2019s Party; Sociopathic Female Bullies Pt 2: The Avenger Starts a Flame War; First SCA Event\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1995\/#an11\">My First SCA Event<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1995\/#an12\">Cugan: a vast improvement over Phil<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"April 1995\u2013Easter Trip; Breakup with Cugan\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1995\/\">April 1995:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1995\/#an1\">Easter with Cugan&#8217;s family and SCA<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1995\/#an2\">Cugan breaks up with me<\/a><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #333333;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1995\/#an3\">After breakup: Phil&#8217;s return and trolls<\/a><strong><br \/>\n<\/strong><\/span><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1995\/#an4\">Cugan comes back<\/a><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #333333;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1995\/#an5\">SCA hippies; college senioritis: anxiety!<\/a><strong><br \/>\n<\/strong><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #333333;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1995\/#an6\">Or should I move back in with my parents?<\/a><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"May 1995\u2013Graduation\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/may-1995-graduation\/\">May 1995:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/may-1995-graduation\/#an1\">Peace with Phil<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/may-1995-graduation\/#an2\">Defending my Thesis; Graduating with Honors<\/a><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #333333;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/may-1995-graduation\/#an3\">Graduation: Trapped at school<\/a><strong><br \/>\n<\/strong><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #333333;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/may-1995-graduation\/#an4\">Epilogue and Apology from Phil<\/a><strong><br \/>\n<\/strong><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<!-- PMB print buttons is only displayed on a single post\/page URLs-->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Peter, my Ninja Boyfriend, Hypnotizes Me and Starts a Mental Link Deadly Nightshade Pressure to Love Peter, my Ninja Boyfriend, Hypnotizes Me and Starts a Mental Link According to MTV, Nirvana&#8217;s &#8220;Smells Like Teen Spirit&#8221; debuted on 120 Minutes and on the airwaves in early October. \u00a0It debuted at number 144 on the charts, and went gold only 17 days later. This song introduced grunge alternative rock to mainstream music. \u00a0It was unique, it was new, and it was so not what was popular at the time. \u00a0Bandmembers wore T-shirts and jeans instead of classy clothes or costumes for concerts&hellip;<\/p>\n<p><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1991\/\">Continue Reading<\/a><\/p>\n<div class='heateor_sss_sharing_container heateor_sss_vertical_sharing heateor_sss_bottom_sharing' style='width:39px;left: -10px;top: 100px;-webkit-box-shadow:none;box-shadow:none;' data-heateor-sss-href='https:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/4788'><div class=\"heateor_sss_sharing_ul\"><a aria-label=\"Facebook\" class=\"heateor_sss_facebook\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer\/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fnyssashobbithole.com%2Fmain%2Fwp-json%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fpages%2F4788\" title=\"Facebook\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" 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