{"id":4803,"date":"2006-08-14T20:23:07","date_gmt":"2006-08-15T01:23:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/wordpress\/?page_id=207"},"modified":"2023-04-13T02:16:26","modified_gmt":"2023-04-13T07:16:26","slug":"march-1993","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1993\/","title":{"rendered":"March 1993"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1993\/#an1\">School Scandal<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1993\/#an2\">Shawn Rips Me Apart for NVLD Traits<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1993\/#an3\">Spring Break; My Drawings of Ann Radcliffe Characters<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1993\/#an4\">I&#8217;m Cold to Shawn and it Bugs Him<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1993\/#an5\">The Power Goes Out&#8211;and the Water&#8211;in an Ice Storm<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><b><a name=\"an1\"><\/a><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\">School Scandal<\/span><\/b><\/h2>\n<p>On the 1st, I noted in my diary the one-year anniversary of the physical relationship with Shawn, since it started on Leap Day, 1992.<\/p>\n<p>****<\/p>\n<p>Crystal Pepsi came out around this time, and I tried it. \u00a0I believe it was much like Pepsi&#8211;but I didn&#8217;t like Pepsi. \u00a0I drank it just to find out if it truly tasted the same, despite being clear. \u00a0It soon disappeared from the market.<\/p>\n<p>****<\/p>\n<p>During one of my counseling sessions, I said Shawn always tried to change me, but I wouldn&#8217;t change unless I felt it necessary. \u00a0The counselor called that a healthy attitude.<\/p>\n<p>I now read Hermann Hesse&#8217;s <i>Narcissus and Goldmund<\/i>, which I found in the Campus Shop. \u00a0This book was a great help. \u00a0I read it late at night, while <i>Alternative Nation<\/i> was on, the room was darkened, and my roommate slept without her hearing aid. \u00a0Sometimes, the window was open.<\/p>\n<p>This late-night setting and the book itself took me to a place where boy trouble and other problems didn&#8217;t matter. \u00a0One character, Goldmund, made observations about life that I&#8217;d made myself, or agreed with. \u00a0I kept seeing myself in Goldmund, a budding artist looking for himself. \u00a0He wandered the German landscape, a metaphor for restlessness and wandering the landscape of life and self.<\/p>\n<p>The book was set around the year of the Black Death, so Sting&#8217;s new video, &#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=7km4EHgkQiw\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">If I Ever Lose My Faith in You<\/a>,&#8221; was timely. \u00a0(This video was set in medieval times.) \u00a0Funny how I didn&#8217;t much care for the song when I first heard it on the radio, but after I saw that video, the song became one of my all-time favorites.<\/p>\n<p>Goldmund&#8217;s passion sounded like mine: He loved to draw things, such as people&#8217;s heads, and make up animals, just as I liked to draw heads and make up alien languages. \u00a0Like me, he thought love was more important than anything else.<\/p>\n<p>The swarming fish on page 186, poking their heads up to eat a piece of bread, reminded me of the fish at Indiana Beach.<\/p>\n<p>(Those fish would eat anything you tossed at them&#8211;even spit. \u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.indianabeach.com\/\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">This<\/a> is Indiana Beach, though in those days it was just a little amusement park with short lines and cheap rides, no resort, no water park, no campgrounds, no Adventure Point. \u00a0Though I see they still have some of the same rides, such as the Seadragon and the Galaxi.)<\/p>\n<p>On page 195, his tendency to forget everything about the world while engrossed by his drawing and endless walking, reminded me of myself when I was deep into reading, writing, or thinking.<\/p>\n<p>After one of these late-night readings, I wrote this poem:<\/p>\n<p><em>The music of the night<\/em><br \/>\n<em> drifts through my window,<\/em><br \/>\n<em> The gentle wind and soft, earthy smells,<\/em><br \/>\n<em> the warmth and the insomniac birds&#8217; songs.<\/em><br \/>\n<em> Each note carries a hint of oneness<\/em><br \/>\n<em> with everything.<\/em><br \/>\n<em> The song of the ages,<\/em><br \/>\n<em> the melting together of all experience,<\/em><br \/>\n<em> The one song all romantics hear.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>****<\/p>\n<p>We often found chalk drawings and messages on the sidewalks, advertising campus events or put there as pledge pranks.<\/p>\n<p>Once, the Zetas made chalk outlines showing some pretty horrific things: heads removed, limbs removed, hands or feet removed. \u00a0They were also pretty comical, since it was obviously a joke. \u00a0One of these chalk drawings was of <a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/freshman-year-september-1991\/#an5\">Paul and his dog Maizie<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>The college now had a young social sciences teacher named Craig. \u00a0One day, we found chalk protests written all over the sidewalks: &#8220;Save Craig!&#8221; \u00a0The college had decided not to allow him back the next year.<\/p>\n<p>I didn&#8217;t know Craig or the reasons for his dismissal, so I didn&#8217;t get involved. \u00a0I heard rumors, but they weren&#8217;t confirmed for me until 2006:<\/p>\n<p>Rachel knew a senior girl who got involved with Craig. \u00a0He was single, she was about to graduate, and he was fresh out of graduate school (therefore, they were close in age), but the college refused to relent.<\/p>\n<p>****<\/p>\n<p>Darryl decided to leave the Zetas over problems he had with them. \u00a0I don&#8217;t remember now what all they were, but he was upset that minors at parties would be given alcohol. \u00a0There were probably other things as well.<\/p>\n<p>It was a big surprise, and even my sorority friends were glad. \u00a0A week or two before, he and Steve even came to Bible Study.<\/p>\n<h2><b><a name=\"an2\"><\/a><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\">Shawn Rips Me Apart for NVLD Traits<br \/>\n<\/span><\/b><\/h2>\n<p>On March 20, I wrote in a letter to a friend,<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>But it seems like, in the past couple weeks, [Shawn&#8217;s] mood has darkened and he&#8217;s even avoided me a few times and gotten upset at me for one thing or another. \u00a0If we were going out, I&#8217;d say we were headed for a breakup. \u00a0Instead, the friendship is threatened with breakup.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>I do find it interesting that this happened <i>after<\/i> our physical relations had ceased.<\/p>\n<p>On Tuesday (the 16th), when I was telling him the good news about me finding myself&#8211;through my time alone at night reading, writing and listening to music, and something he&#8217;d wanted me to do&#8211;he somehow turned the conversation to yet another list of my &#8220;faults.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>He seemed to have a gift for that, even though he didn&#8217;t seem to be such a good judge of character as he thought he was.<\/p>\n<p>It was a long list, and I must say he later apologized for unloading all those things on me at once. \u00a0He said these were the real reasons why he didn&#8217;t want to be my boyfriend, and that the reasons weren&#8217;t going to change to different things, like they had so often before.<\/p>\n<p>The things were very much condemning of me as a person. \u00a0It devastated me because I wanted to be a good person who cared for others, helped them, was considerate, was sweet and kind&#8230;.<\/p>\n<p>But he made me sound like an evil bitch who treats people like dirt. \u00a0I felt like a terrible person, and thought I recognized those things in myself, but he gave me a hug of support as I tried to &#8220;change.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>He told me I should ask my friends for the specific examples he didn&#8217;t have time to give, and suggested things I should say. \u00a0<strong>So you see I was in a receptive mood, willing to accept and change faults, wanting the truth and not people&#8217;s consoling words.<\/strong> \u00a0He did this now, so he said, because I had an outlet in counseling.<\/p>\n<p>So, after class when I went to see the counselor, I told her what he&#8217;d said. \u00a0Her reaction made me begin to doubt him, but I still felt like a terrible person. \u00a0<strong>I even tried to convince her that what he said was true.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>She couldn&#8217;t see me being those things, but I still felt I had to see what my friends would say before I&#8217;d completely change my view. \u00a0If I really was an evil witch, then I wanted to change it, not listen to people tell me I wasn&#8217;t really like that.<\/p>\n<p>I talked to Pearl for three hours in the Phi-Delt room after my night class (Astronomy), and really began to doubt his impressions. \u00a0She said maybe some things were based on misunderstandings.<\/p>\n<p>He&#8217;d said other people had the same impressions but were afraid to depress me by telling me, even though they were still my friends; Pearl said maybe he misunderstood them, too.<\/p>\n<p>I also spoke to Clarissa, who knew me better than anybody else on that campus, being my roommate for many months now&#8211;and even she disagreed, felt that he was being mean to me.<\/p>\n<p>I asked, &#8220;Do you see anything wrong with the way I treat you?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>She said, shocked, &#8220;No!&#8221; \u00a0I think she even cried a little. \u00a0She couldn&#8217;t figure out why Shawn would say these things.<\/p>\n<p>I tried talking to him on the phone the next day, to find out who I was supposed to talk to and what I did to make him think these things of me, but he accused me of badgering, and it turned into an argument.<\/p>\n<p>So I stopped speaking to him. \u00a0I just couldn&#8217;t stand speaking to him when I didn&#8217;t even know why he was friends with such an evil person as me, if he even was my friend in the first place.<\/p>\n<p>He said he was, but the reason he gave wasn&#8217;t enough to reassure me: He just said, because I wanted him to be, otherwise he wouldn&#8217;t have bothered trying to be one. \u00a0So, I was such an evil witch that he wouldn&#8217;t have even been my friend in the first place if I didn&#8217;t want him to be?<\/p>\n<p><strong>And he couldn&#8217;t give me any concrete examples to make me understand what I did that was so evil, or give me any guidance on whom to talk to?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The one to speak to is the one I offended, not a whole bunch of people in a kind of Russian roulette to find them, that lets everybody on campus know what he said to me! \u00a0How is it &#8220;badgering&#8221; to get some answers so I can understand what I&#8217;ve done and how I can change it?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Because I had no intention of behaving so evilly to anyone, and had no clue how I possibly could have come across that way, no guidance, no memory of evil intentions or behavior to work with. \u00a0You can&#8217;t change if you don&#8217;t even know what you&#8217;ve done!<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I needed the truth, I needed answers, I needed plain-speaking Rachel. \u00a0I didn&#8217;t want to get mad at Shawn for simply telling the truth, if it was indeed the truth.\u00a0 If anyone would be blunt about my faults, she would be. \u00a0Even when everyone else would sympathize me about something, she would say, &#8220;Well, it was pretty stupid for you to do that.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>So next, I went to her, not telling her who the person was. \u00a0But she just widened her eyes at the list of faults and got upset, saying, <strong>&#8220;This person doesn&#8217;t really know you. \u00a0They&#8217;re probably trying to hurt you for some reason.&#8221;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>She and, later, Sharon did tell me what they personally thought were faults, but they were things done by normal people, not evil witch crap like what Shawn listed.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Sharon thought he was playing with my mind.<\/strong> \u00a0Sharon said she could only answer for her own feelings, not for his; Pearl pointed out possible misunderstandings and how I could prevent them.<\/p>\n<p>I figured these were the main people who would know, the ones I spent the most time with. \u00a0They gave me enough things to work with already, and I didn&#8217;t want to embarrass myself by going to people I didn&#8217;t know as well and telling them what Shawn said.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rachel said not to take the things to heart, that he just didn&#8217;t know me very well, but I still cried myself to sleep Wednesday night. \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>I loved him, both romantically and, most of all, as what I thought was my best friend. \u00a0But this made me feel so upset and betrayed that I couldn&#8217;t talk to him. \u00a0I didn&#8217;t want him to even come close enough to touch me. \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>My heart was broken again. \u00a0I think I loved him far more than I ever had loved Peter.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>He had also <a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/saving-letters-not-creepy\/\">complained about me writing in my diary<\/a> everything that happened between us. \u00a0He <a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/one-lie-wormtongue-falls-crashing-ground-gaslighting\/\">thought special memories should be kept in the head and not written down<\/a>. \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>It was an odd idea that I&#8217;d never encountered before, because even special memories begin to fade over time. \u00a0In fact, if I hadn&#8217;t written these things down, these memoirs would be far less detailed, because I had forgotten so much! \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>His objection also came from his time in the mental hospital, though I won&#8217;t explain how; I had no such experience. \u00a0He asked if I worried about anybody finding it; no, I did not. \u00a0If they did, they&#8217;d realize I wasn&#8217;t as innocent as people thought, and I didn&#8217;t mind that.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>After writing in my diary what happened between us Valentine&#8217;s Day and the following Monday, I wrote, as if I were addressing Shawn,<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>See, Shawn, I wrote both things down, finally. \u00a0And if you&#8217;re going to be like this, I hope they&#8217;re the last &#8216;rendezvous&#8217; I&#8217;ll ever have to write about concerning you.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe math-brains just don&#8217;t understand the writer&#8217;s need to record even the most special memories&#8211;which we don&#8217;t want to fade&#8230;.<\/p>\n<p>Besides, these memories are all a part of me&#8211;so I&#8217;m not about to burn them or let them fade. \u00a0I&#8217;d lose a part of myself that way&#8230;.Let&#8217;s see what kind of a friend you really are, Shawn.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>The things he accused me of, can also easily be explained with <a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/nonverbal-learning-disorder-nld-nvld\/\">NVLD<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Perceptual cues serve in the same capacity as traffic signals; they govern the flow, give-and-take, and fluctuations in our conversations.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">The child who cannot &#8220;read&#8221; these nonverbal cues is frequently determined to be ill-mannered, discourteous, curt, immature, lacking in respect for others, self-centered, and\/or even defiant. This child is none of the above.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Like the color blind driver who cannot respond appropriately to traffic lights, this is a child who is utilizing all of the resources available to him in order to try and make sense of a world which is providing him with faulty cues and unreliable information. &#8212;<a href=\"http:\/\/web.archive.org\/web\/20150319072508\/http:\/\/www.nldontheweb.org\/nldadvancedreading\/nld.html\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Sue Thompson, Nonverbal Learning Disorders<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>One of his complaints over the past many months was having to wait a long time for me to answer a question. \u00a0That would probably be the <a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/nonverbal-learning-disorder-nld-nvld\/\">NVLD<\/a>, Asperger&#8217;s, and\/or introversion, all of which can cause this trait, which I had always had; I have to think of what I say before I say it.<\/p>\n<p>There was the time he snapped at me and called me rude for not picking up his hints that it was time for me to go home&#8211;when I caught none of them, and only heard him continuously ask me, &#8220;So what else is up?&#8221;&#8211;making me feel obligated to come up with some answer, until I finally snapped back that I was going to bed now.<\/p>\n<p>He was always criticizing my shyness and reserve, when to me this was all I had ever known, and it was just as impossible for me to change it, as it is for a horse to take on zebra stripes.<\/p>\n<p>He was always criticizing my hair, when I wore it that way (plain and long) because I liked symmetry, hated the feel of bangs, hated short hair, loved long hair, and did not like perms or the other hairdos of the time. \u00a0(Hair back then was still very much 80s-big hair.)<\/p>\n<p>He criticized me for not wearing makeup, as if my own face were not pretty without it, when I did not like the time it took to put on makeup, and felt fake with it on. \u00a0(This was coming out of the 80s, when makeup looked very artificial, unlike now when it&#8217;s more natural-looking.)<\/p>\n<p>He criticized me for not dressing sexy, when I had always been so modest that even my mother told me I should show off my figure more. \u00a0I was raised Nazarene; I did not like to show too much skin.<\/p>\n<p>He criticized me for not wearing jeans, when I found jeans to be too rough against my skin, and could not stand that (an NVLD thing, with hypersensitivity to clothes). \u00a0I also did not binding, constricting or tight clothes because of how they feel against my skin, so I could not dress &#8220;sexy&#8221; in the way he would like.<\/p>\n<p>And because I was not just like all the other girls, did not look like the other girls, did not dress like the other girls, did not act like the other girls, I was somehow not attractive to him, this person who could not look beyond the surface and see my natural beauty and uniqueness&#8211;but would use my body whenever it suited him.<\/p>\n<p>He could not appreciate me for me, a creative, sweet, smart, loving, caring, loyal person, with a different perspective on life, who would spend my summer drawing genies and reading books and writing about desert islands, rather than reading romance novels, hanging out at the beach, working on my tan, or partying.<\/p>\n<p>He could not appreciate that I would not be the kind of girl to take all his money, or be jealous of his female friends, or spend all my time at the beauty parlor\/spa, or yell and scream at him and blame it on PMS.<\/p>\n<p>He could not appreciate that I could spend my summers happily translating German rather than running around on him, that I would be a cheap date happy with fast food and a movie rather than some expensive restaurant.<\/p>\n<p>He could not appreciate that I had faith just as he did, that my mind was full of wonder and questions about that faith, that I would study theology for fun. \u00a0Instead he said he couldn&#8217;t love me because I believed in ESP (even my pastor believed in ESP) and was too &#8220;tolerant.&#8221; \u00a0<strong>He wanted me to be like all the other girls rather than like myself.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>And now he was making me into a horrible, selfish, self-centered, spoiled brat as well. \u00a0All I knew was that I tried to be good, tried to be nice, tried to think of other people, left the biggest piece of cake for the next person, just went on my merry way thinking I was harming no one, only to get accused of all these horrible things by Shawn.<\/p>\n<p>I knew that I tried to let him take the lead in our relationship because of his ambivalence, out of respect for him, but then he would come over or ask me over and want me to get physical with him, so I would give in to all sorts of things he wanted me to do, to please him.<\/p>\n<p>Then he would accuse me of starting things and get angry with me and tear me down, treating me like some kind of evil seductress.<\/p>\n<p><strong>It felt like what he thought was me, was actually some other person, not me at all, no matter how much I tried to protest his unfair opinions and analyses. \u00a0And it was both baffling and heartbreaking.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>So if his opinions of me were totally unfair and showed a lack of knowledge of who I really was, then the thing keeping him from dating me beyond a &#8220;friends with benefits&#8221; relationship, falls down flat.<\/p>\n<p>I think Shawn, for all the times I thought we had talked about ourselves and connected, closed his mind to the kind of person I really was. \u00a0He rejected me for things he said I did, but which I didn&#8217;t do at all. \u00a0He was prejudiced against me for something I was not.<\/p>\n<p>The biggest question is why he would do this: Was he afraid of falling for me and then having to leave me as he did his ex-girlfriend? \u00a0Was it because of his brother&#8217;s illness?<\/p>\n<h2><b><a name=\"an3\"><\/a><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\">Spring Break; My Drawings of Ann Radcliffe Characters<\/span><\/b><\/h2>\n<p>Spring Break was Saturday, March 20 through Sunday, March 28. \u00a0I had a lot of homework over the break, including a paper for my Space presentation. \u00a0But I also had time to start reading <i><a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/First_Love_%28novella%29\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">First Love<\/a><\/i> by Turgenev, which I found in the Campus Shoppe in the textbook section, and <i><a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/The_Italian_(Radcliffe_novel)\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">The Italian<\/a><\/i> by <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Ann_Radcliffe\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Ann Radcliffe<\/a>, the same woman who had written <i><a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/The_Mysteries_of_Udolpho\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Mysteries of Udolpho<\/a><\/i> (from Jane Austen&#8217;s <i><a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Northanger_Abbey\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Northanger Abbey<\/a><\/i>).<\/p>\n<p>I drew pictures of the characters. \u00a0For <i>The Italian<\/i>, I based Vivaldi on pictures I found in a World Book encyclopedia article on Italy, and I based Ellena&#8217;s nose on a picture of a Grecian nose. \u00a0(This matched her description.)<\/p>\n<p>My friend Becky saw the picture of Ellena and said she looked just like Eleni Andros Cooper, a beautiful, Greek character on the soap opera <i>Guiding Light<\/i>. \u00a0I had never seen this woman before. \u00a0(Cooper, by the way, was played by <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Melina_Kanakaredes\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Melina Kanakaredes<\/a>, who later starred in <i>Providence<\/i>.) \u00a0My pictures are below:<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/EllenaSmall.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" data-src=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/EllenaSmall.jpg\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-4881 lazyload\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" alt=\"EllenaSmall\" width=\"437\" height=\"672\" title=\"\"><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-4881\" src=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/EllenaSmall.jpg\" alt=\"EllenaSmall\" width=\"437\" height=\"672\" title=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/EllenaSmall.jpg 437w, https:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/EllenaSmall-195x300.jpg 195w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 437px) 100vw, 437px\" \/><\/noscript><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/VivaldiSmall.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" data-src=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/VivaldiSmall.jpg\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-4882 lazyload\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" alt=\"VivaldiSmall\" width=\"336\" height=\"716\" title=\"\"><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-4882\" src=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/VivaldiSmall.jpg\" alt=\"VivaldiSmall\" width=\"336\" height=\"716\" title=\"\"><\/noscript><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/Schedoni.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" data-src=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/Schedoni.jpg\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-211 lazyload\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" alt=\"Schedoni\" width=\"590\" height=\"648\" title=\"\"><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-211\" src=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/Schedoni.jpg\" alt=\"Schedoni\" width=\"590\" height=\"648\" title=\"\"><\/noscript><\/a><\/p>\n<p>****<\/p>\n<p>I didn&#8217;t want to go back to school. \u00a0I didn&#8217;t know why. \u00a0Maybe I was just tired, and one week was not enough rest. \u00a0I was sick of my problems.<\/p>\n<p>I wanted a guy, but at the same time I didn&#8217;t. \u00a0I wanted James, but at the same time I wanted to wait for things with Shawn to work themselves out.<\/p>\n<p>Since Peter and I could now say &#8220;hi&#8221; to each other again, that wasn&#8217;t the spirit-zapper. \u00a0The culprit was probably the whole Shawn-situation, from start to present. \u00a0As I wrote in my diary, part of the problem was his judgmental attitude about me:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>judging me to be what I&#8217;m not and\/or certainly don&#8217;t intend to be, and saying his own opinion of me turns him off, even though his own opinion sounds so faulty to me and to so many others&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>but just the fact that he&#8217;ll ask me over to play let&#8217;s-pretend-we&#8217;re-going-out, then tell me, as soon as he&#8217;s gotten what he wants, that he doesn&#8217;t want me. \u00a0How does he expect that to make me feel?!<\/p>\n<p>Then he&#8217;ll criticize me for this and that, even when his own so-called &#8216;advice&#8217; is probably not appropriate or even adapted to me! \u00a0How can <i>he<\/i> know what&#8217;s right for <i>me<\/i>? \u00a0I just get so angry. \u00a0I cry out to God for help and comfort.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>So finally, I was furious at Shawn, which was necessary to help me break free of him.<\/p>\n<p>I was so depressed that I didn&#8217;t want to do much of anything, except escape to the world of books. \u00a0Except for music, videos and probably writing, no other worlds appealed to me now. \u00a0I wished I could put studying and working on hold for a while.<\/p>\n<p>But back to school I had to go.<\/p>\n<p>It was time to apply for a work-study job for junior year. \u00a0To apply, you checked off the jobs you wanted out of a list on a form. \u00a0I did not check off Food Service. \u00a0I preferred the library, but had to apply for two other things as well.<\/p>\n<p>I interviewed for all three. \u00a0The two clerical jobs didn&#8217;t interest me as much after the interviews. \u00a0I interviewed for the library job on April 27. \u00a0I was one of the first people to interview, if not the first. \u00a0The head librarian said she usually gave the job to the first six people who showed up. \u00a0So I was in, and of course, I took it.<\/p>\n<p>It was just what I wanted: a job with my beloved books, where I could do homework when nothing was going on. \u00a0When I did have something to do, it usually involved books, magazines or newspapers. \u00a0And I could wear whatever I wanted to, even shorts.<\/p>\n<p>****<\/p>\n<p>MTV came out with a new cartoon, <i><a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Beavis_and_Butt-head\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Beavis and Butthead<\/a><\/i>. \u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/The_Ren_%26_Stimpy_Show\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\"><i>Ren and Stimpy<\/i><\/a> became more of a kids&#8217; show, and was soon supplanted.<\/p>\n<p>At first, I didn&#8217;t like <i>Beavis and Butthead<\/i>, especially after they executed a grasshopper with a chainsaw and sliced up Beavis&#8217; hand.<\/p>\n<p>I saw the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/1993\/10\/10\/us\/cartoon-on-mtv-blamed-for-fire.html\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">infamous episode<\/a> which supposedly inspired some kid to set fire to his house, and was never aired again.<\/p>\n<p>It was funny to hear the fire-obsessed Beavis say, &#8220;Fire! \u00a0Fire! \u00a0Fire!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>In another episode, he watched a video of a fire-engulfed guy running down a street (&#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=U5vzJZHc59s\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">California<\/a>&#8221; by Wax). \u00a0He could only sit there in convulsions.\u00a0 After the show got censored, he said, &#8220;We&#8217;re not supposed to say that word.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The show drew lots of criticism, even though it wasn&#8217;t meant for kids, so it soon got censored heavily. \u00a0Nowadays, after so many years of shows like <i>South Park<\/i>, you wonder what the fuss was about, why they gave in so readily to criticism. \u00a0So somebody didn&#8217;t like the fire references&#8211;so frickin&#8217; what?<\/p>\n<p>****<\/p>\n<p>One day, in an 80s flashback show, MTV showed the Police video &#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=KNIZofPB8ZM\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Don&#8217;t Stand so Close to Me<\/a>.&#8221; \u00a0Now I was old enough to understand it, and even knew that &#8220;the famous book by Nabokov&#8221; was <i><a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Lolita\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Lolita<\/a><\/i>.<\/p>\n<p>The VJ said that when the song came out, there had been a big controversy about whether or not students should date teachers. \u00a0The final decision was that it&#8217;s okay if the teacher doesn&#8217;t have that student in a class.<\/p>\n<p>This was only one warning sign against pursuing Wesley. \u00a0Along with what happened to Craig, there was another: An episode or two of <i>Class of &#8217;96<\/i> showed one character sleeping with her teacher and getting in trouble for it.<\/p>\n<p>I don&#8217;t know when my friend dated Wesley&#8211;it could have been fall semester&#8211;but it&#8217;s funny to think I had so many warning signs, while she just went ahead and dated him.<\/p>\n<p>****<\/p>\n<p>On Friday, February 12, I wrote in my Media class journal about a new video Clarissa and I had just seen: &#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=GViXO8bZDz8\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Funky Ceili<\/a>&#8221; by Black 47. \u00a0VJ&#8217;s said the song was popular with young people, though I only heard it on MTV and Chicago&#8217;s Q101.<\/p>\n<p>Clarissa and I loved it because Black 47 was an Irish band. \u00a0Here we&#8217;d just been <a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/january-1993\/#an1\">learning about Irish culture over Winterim<\/a>, and this video comes on using words like &#8220;da,&#8221; &#8220;porter,&#8221; &#8220;stout,&#8221; and &#8220;jigs and reels.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The music mixed traditional Celtic folk instruments with modern rock stylings. \u00a0And the song was funny. \u00a0Clarissa and I got to watch the video quite a bit over the next few months.<\/p>\n<p>The song was about the lead singer&#8217;s ex-girlfriend. \u00a0He lost his job, found out she was pregnant, and had to tell her &#8220;da.&#8221; \u00a0The da gave him two choices: stay in Ireland and get castrated, or go to New York. \u00a0(What about a third option: marrying Bridie?) \u00a0At least, that&#8217;s the story in the song. \u00a0The singer lamented over losing Bridie and wanted her to come to New York.<\/p>\n<p>I thought it was sweet; I hoped the video would get them back together; I wondered if Bridie was the girl in the video.<\/p>\n<p>Years later at Summerfest in Milwaukee, though, I picked up <a class=\"s45\" href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Green-Suede-Shoes-Black-47\/dp\/B000001EPR\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">another CD<\/a> by Black 47, and read in the lyrics to &#8220;Green Suede Shoes&#8221; that &#8220;Bridie&#8221; got the singer into deep trouble with Bridie and her family.\u00a0 Also, reading the real story in the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Green-Suede-Shoes-Irish-Odyssey\/dp\/0863223435\/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1439525232&amp;sr=1-3&amp;keywords=larry+kirwan\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">singer&#8217;s autobiography<\/a>, showed that the only resemblance to reality was her name.<\/p>\n<h2><b><a name=\"an4\"><\/a><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\">I&#8217;m Cold to Shawn and it Bugs Him<\/span><\/b><\/h2>\n<p>Diary entry for March 30:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>&#8212;<i>12:09am<\/i><br \/>\nI&#8217;ve, just today, recorded &#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=MS91knuzoOA\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Jeremy<\/a>&#8221; and &#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=FqIACCH20JU\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Ordinary World<\/a>&#8221; (the videos), back to back. \u00a0Why do I like them so much? \u00a0Because they&#8217;re me, for one thing.<\/p>\n<p>I like the second one because of <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Clarissa\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Clarissa<\/a>, first of all, but maybe my subconscious picked up on the personal meaning before my conscious did.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Jeremy&#8221; is me in my childhood, especially elementary school and junior high. \u00a0&#8220;O.W.&#8221; was me right after Peter, but now it&#8217;s me with Shawn.<\/p>\n<p>You should&#8217;ve seen Shawn tonight at Bible study. \u00a0I was half-hoping he would come. \u00a0About twenty minutes into it, he came, and I cringed. \u00a0I kept my jacket closely wrapped around me in the cold room, to hide my figure. \u00a0I had trouble looking at him or laughing at his jokes, especially at first.<\/p>\n<p>Then he started a long speech that started off with, &#8220;The big trouble on this campus is acceptance.&#8221; \u00a0I looked at him as he talked&#8211;right into his eyes, because most of the time he was looking right at me.<\/p>\n<p>I remember this more than what he was saying, but I think he was talking about such things as people wanting to be accepted, and people avoiding and not wanting to talk to certain individuals (even then, I didn&#8217;t see the connection).<\/p>\n<p>Clarissa tells me that another time, when she thinks I was looking down instead of at Shawn, out of the corner of her eye she saw him staring at me. \u00a0Then he saw her, and looked away. \u00a0I might&#8217;ve caught this, even, by glancing up once.<\/p>\n<p>I never greeted him or said good-bye. \u00a0I was thinking and hoping he might either try to talk to me afterwards or call me up later, but it&#8217;s 12:34 and he didn&#8217;t do either.<\/p>\n<p>When I told a friend my plans to avoid him, she said, Yeah, treat him like you did Peter, and see if he comes after you; if he doesn&#8217;t, you&#8217;re better off&#8230;.I think he might.<\/p>\n<p>And she also said, when I said I thought I saw signs that he liked me, &#8220;You probably did.&#8221; \u00a0But she can&#8217;t figure him out, either.<\/p>\n<p>Why do I believe him so easily? \u00a0I feel so gullible&#8230;.Once, when I rushed downstairs (where he was) to go to the bathroom, he said &#8220;hello&#8221; (maybe to be funny; we&#8217;d been in the same room for 45 minutes already), and I said nothing. \u00a0&#8211;12:43am<\/p>\n<p>&#8211;1:49am<br \/>\nIt doesn&#8217;t matter how long you pray, but that you do it and that you get something out of it&#8230;.<\/p>\n<p>I have to act this way so I can see if Shawn comes after me and proves to truly be my friend. \u00a0But I hope he does so soon!<\/p>\n<p>Oh, the agony of my heart, seeing him help Pearl with her crutches without being asked, and hearing them talk about a couple weeks ago when he lifted her scooter out of a snowdrift, with them not being around to tell him a much easier way to do it, pushing a certain button.<\/p>\n<p>Seeing a guy do such helpful things, like when Peter helped the blind girl, seems to be high on my subconscious list of what makes my heart go pitter-patter&#8230;.<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes, the friends you&#8217;re always with know you better than you know yourself, or else why bother asking them what your faults are? \u00a0So I trust the opinions of my closest friends.<\/p>\n<p>But Shawn isn&#8217;t with me so much, and he&#8217;s proven himself and admitted himself to be wrong about me in one way or another, so why trust him over Pearl, Rachel, Sharon or my roommate Clarissa? \u00a0\u00a0&#8211;1:59am<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Diary entry for March 31:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>&#8211;12:19am<br \/>\nI saw Peter yesterday [by the Campus Center] and said hi, and I think he smiled and said, &#8220;Hi, how ya doin&#8217;?&#8221;&#8211;except I had my headphones on, and I don&#8217;t think I caught it in time to answer.<\/p>\n<p>What I want is for Shawn to realize how much he&#8217;s hurt me and that it&#8217;s going to take something special to fix that.<\/p>\n<p>Tonight at dinner, Shawn was sitting at the same table as I went to sit at. \u00a0When I got to my strawberry shortcake, everyone but him and Clarissa had left. \u00a0Then she got up, probably to take her tray up. \u00a0She thought I might not like being left alone with <em>him<\/em>. \u00a0She seemed to be away for a long time.<\/p>\n<p>After a silent minute or two, during which I ignored him and ate my cake, he said, &#8220;So how ya doin&#8217;, Nyssa?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I sat silent for a moment, contemplating whether or not I should answer, then I shrugged my shoulders as a half-answer. \u00a0Then, to make sure he knew I had answered, I mumbled, &#8220;not too good.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>After all, I&#8217;d just come from a meeting with the counselor, which mostly dealt with my relationship with <em>him<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Then Clarissa came back, and she thought he seemed to want to get away. \u00a0(She also didn&#8217;t see him stare at me during dinner; it seemed to her that he was trying to avoid me.)<\/p>\n<p>He said to her, &#8220;Are you going to stay here and keep Nyssa company, Clarissa? \u00a0&#8216;Cause I have to go.&#8221; \u00a0I grumbled, &#8220;Don&#8217;t let me keep you.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Yes, I was offended. \u00a0[My translation of it was] &#8220;You&#8217;re not secure enough to eat by yourself; somebody has to keep you company.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s not just what he said, but a compound of things he&#8217;s said in the past in different situations, that gave me such an impression, such an interpretation of what he said now. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0&#8211;1:03am<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>My counselor wanted to talk with Shawn to get his side of the story, and he agreed it was a good idea. \u00a0He was supposed to show up at one of my counseling sessions, but never did. \u00a0He later gave some reasons, I forget what, but it upset me.<\/p>\n<h2><b><a name=\"an5\"><\/a><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\">The Power Goes Out&#8211;and the Water&#8211;in an Ice Storm<\/span><\/b><\/h2>\n<p>On Wednesday, March 31, there was an ice storm. \u00a0At about 9:30 and right in the middle of the latest episode of <i>Star Trek: TNG<\/i>, most of the power went out, leaving on only our two desk lights. \u00a0Then even they went out. \u00a0Soon after that, the water went out because it came from a well and required a pump. \u00a0The rooms grew cold.<\/p>\n<p>We all gathered into the suite lounge. \u00a0I brought my afghan and can of pop, put away the bag of M&amp;M&#8217;s I was eating, and sat on the couch with my rechargeable flashlight ready for use. \u00a0Our suitemates put on coats and snuggled into blankets.<\/p>\n<p>Daphne, the RA, got freaked out all alone in her suite, and came over to ours. \u00a0My suitemates lit candles, contraband but useful. \u00a0A couple of guys dropped by and kept going in and out of the suite.<\/p>\n<p>Some guy we didn&#8217;t know looked in the window and said something. \u00a0Daphne told Clarissa to shine her flashlight in his face and ask what he wanted. \u00a0Clarissa did; he said something else and left. \u00a0It was funny.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve mentioned before that Georgina, a sweet and beautiful girl with a gorgeous soprano voice, was unfortunately still hung up on her ex-boyfriend, the brother of my pledge sister Jennifer. \u00a0He called and told her about a tornado warning, so we searched for information on the radio. \u00a0We found none, so we assumed there wasn&#8217;t one.<\/p>\n<p>This was Hell Week; the fraternity and sorority pledges kept shouting their little chants and making noise. \u00a0Somebody probably yelled at them to shut up, a common thing.<\/p>\n<p>The ice storm had trampled down a wire, and a transformer blew up. \u00a0Only the emergency lights in a few buildings were on. \u00a0We were told the transformer probably wouldn&#8217;t be fixed until three or four the next afternoon!<\/p>\n<p>We prepared for a night and morning of no electricity or water. \u00a0At least Clarissa had two milk jugs of spring water, so we could wash our hands after using the toilets. \u00a0The toilets started filling up and getting really nasty.<\/p>\n<p>We played a game called Outburst, then went to bed, Daphne staying over. \u00a0I went to bed a little after 12, and had been asleep for about half an hour or more when light woke me up.<\/p>\n<p>Was it morning already? \u00a0I looked at my watch&#8211;it was only 12:56am! \u00a0The power had come back on, after all. \u00a0I went and flushed one of the toilets, Clarissa and I plugged a few things in, and we went back to bed.<\/p>\n<p>We expected our classes to be cancelled, the same as for the local public schools, but they weren&#8217;t.<\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1993\/\">April 1993<\/a><\/strong><br \/>\n<strong><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/\">Life at Roanoke: My College Memoirs\u2013September 1991 through May 1995<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\"><strong>Table of Contents<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #008000;\"><strong>Freshman Year<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/freshman-year-september-1991\/\">September 1991:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/freshman-year-september-1991\/#an1\">Meet the Suite<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/freshman-year-september-1991\/#an2\">Orientation<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/freshman-year-september-1991\/#an3\">Meeting Shawn&#8211;and a Ninja<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/freshman-year-september-1991\/#an4\">Campus Stories, Wisconsin, Campus Radio Station<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/freshman-year-september-1991\/#an5\">Campus, People, First College Boyfriend<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/freshman-year-september-1991\/#an6\">Dating a Ninja <\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1991\/\"><strong>October 1991:<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1991\/#an1\">Peter, my Ninja Boyfriend, Hypnotizes Me and Starts a Mental Link<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1991\/#an2\">Deadly Nightshade<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1991\/#an3\">Pressure to Love <\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1991-aurora-borealis-ghosts-promises-marriage\/\">November 1991:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1991-aurora-borealis-ghosts-promises-marriage\/#an1\">Promises of Marriage<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1991-aurora-borealis-ghosts-promises-marriage\/#an2\"> Aurora Borealis<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1991-aurora-borealis-ghosts-promises-marriage\/#an3\">Ghosts<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1991-ride-greyhound\/\">December 1991: <\/a>Ride the Greyhound<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/january-1992-dealing-breakup-probable-nvld\/\">January 1992: <\/a>Dealing with a Breakup with Probable NVLD<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1992-new-life-begins-great-zipper-caper-shawn-makes-move\/\">February 1992:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1992-new-life-begins-great-zipper-caper-shawn-makes-move\/#an1\">My New Life Begins<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1992-new-life-begins-great-zipper-caper-shawn-makes-move\/#an2\">The Great Zipper Caper<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1992-new-life-begins-great-zipper-caper-shawn-makes-move\/#an3\">Shawn Makes his Move <\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1992-shawn-just-friends-dating\/\">March 1992: <\/a>Shawn: Just Friends or Dating?<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1992-pledging-prayer-group\/\">April 1992: <\/a>Pledging, Prayer Group&#8211;and Peter&#8217;s Smear Campaign<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/may-1992-year-end-parties-summer-begins-quirky-friendship-shawn-heats\/\">May 1992:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/may-1992-year-end-parties-summer-begins-quirky-friendship-shawn-heats\/#an1\">Year-End Parties<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/may-1992-year-end-parties-summer-begins-quirky-friendship-shawn-heats\/#an2\">Quirky &#8220;Friendship&#8221; with Shawn Heats Up Again<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/may-1992-year-end-parties-summer-begins-quirky-friendship-shawn-heats\/#an3\">Summer Begins<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><b><span style=\"color: #008000;\">Sophomore Year<\/span><\/b><br \/>\n<strong><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/summer-1992-solace-books-creativity-pictures-genie-zara\/\">Summer 1992<\/a>:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/summer-1992-solace-books-creativity-pictures-genie-zara\/#an1\">Solace in books and creativity<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/summer-1992-solace-books-creativity-pictures-genie-zara\/#an2\">Pictures of my Genie Zara<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"September 1992\u2013My Friends, Food Service and Classes, Frustrating German Teacher, Roommate and Campus Stories, Shawn Screws With My Head, Friendship with Peter?\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1992\/\">September 1992:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"September 1992\u2013My Friends, Food Service and Classes, Frustrating German Teacher, Roommate and Campus Stories, Shawn Screws With My Head, Friendship with Peter?\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1992\/#an1\">My Friends<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1992\u2013My Friends, Food Service and Classes, Frustrating German Teacher, Roommate and Campus Stories, Shawn Screws With My Head, Friendship with Peter?\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1992\/#an2\">Food Service and Classes<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1992\u2013My Friends, Food Service and Classes, Frustrating German Teacher, Roommate and Campus Stories, Shawn Screws With My Head, Friendship with Peter?\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1992\/#an3\">Frustrating German Teacher<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1992\u2013My Friends, Food Service and Classes, Frustrating German Teacher, Roommate and Campus Stories, Shawn Screws With My Head, Friendship with Peter?\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1992\/#an4\">Roommate and Campus Stories; Shawn Screws With My Head<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1992\u2013My Friends, Food Service and Classes, Frustrating German Teacher, Roommate and Campus Stories, Shawn Screws With My Head, Friendship with Peter?\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1992\/#an5\">More Friend Stories; Friendship with Peter?<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"October 1992\u2013Shawn\u2019s Exasperating Ambivalence; Friends With Sexual Benefits: Fun at First, But Began to Destroy our Friendship; The Secret Gets Out; Ill-Fated Pledge Class; We\u2019re Dating!\u2013No, We\u2019re Not. Yes, We Are. ACK!\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1992\/\">October 1992<\/a>&#8211;Shawn&#8217;s Exasperating Ambivalence:<\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"October 1992\u2013Shawn\u2019s Exasperating Ambivalence; Friends With Sexual Benefits: Fun at First, But Began to Destroy our Friendship; The Secret Gets Out; Ill-Fated Pledge Class; We\u2019re Dating!\u2013No, We\u2019re Not. Yes, We Are. ACK!\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1992\/#an1\">Friends With Sexual Benefits: Fun at First, But Began to Destroy our Friendship<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1992\u2013Shawn\u2019s Exasperating Ambivalence; Friends With Sexual Benefits: Fun at First, But Began to Destroy our Friendship; The Secret Gets Out; Ill-Fated Pledge Class; We\u2019re Dating!\u2013No, We\u2019re Not. Yes, We Are. ACK!\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1992\/#an2\">The Secret Gets Out<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1992\u2013Shawn\u2019s Exasperating Ambivalence; Friends With Sexual Benefits: Fun at First, But Began to Destroy our Friendship; The Secret Gets Out; Ill-Fated Pledge Class; We\u2019re Dating!\u2013No, We\u2019re Not. Yes, We Are. ACK!\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1992\/#an3\">Ill-Fated Pledge Class<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1992\u2013Shawn\u2019s Exasperating Ambivalence; Friends With Sexual Benefits: Fun at First, But Began to Destroy our Friendship; The Secret Gets Out; Ill-Fated Pledge Class; We\u2019re Dating!\u2013No, We\u2019re Not. Yes, We Are. ACK!\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1992\/#an4\">We&#8217;re Dating!&#8211;No, We&#8217;re Not.\u00a0 Yes, We Are.\u00a0 ACK!<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"November 1992\u2013Pat Robertson Screws Up; Peter Turns the Screws; Peter is PW; Obscene Phone Caller; Shawn Goes Animal-House on Me During my Shower; Selective Mutism Strikes at a Zeta Party\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1992\/\">November 1992:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"November 1992\u2013Pat Robertson Screws Up; Peter Turns the Screws; Peter is PW; Obscene Phone Caller; Shawn Goes Animal-House on Me During my Shower; Selective Mutism Strikes at a Zeta Party\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1992\/#an1\">Pat Robertson Screws Up<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"November 1992\u2013Pat Robertson Screws Up; Peter Turns the Screws; Peter is PW; Obscene Phone Caller; Shawn Goes Animal-House on Me During my Shower; Selective Mutism Strikes at a Zeta Party\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1992\/#an2\">Peter Turns the Screws<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"November 1992\u2013Pat Robertson Screws Up; Peter Turns the Screws; Peter is PW; Obscene Phone Caller; Shawn Goes Animal-House on Me During my Shower; Selective Mutism Strikes at a Zeta Party\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1992\/#an3\">Peter is PW<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"November 1992\u2013Pat Robertson Screws Up; Peter Turns the Screws; Peter is PW; Obscene Phone Caller; Shawn Goes Animal-House on Me During my Shower; Selective Mutism Strikes at a Zeta Party\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1992\/#an4\">Obscene Phone Caller<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"November 1992\u2013Pat Robertson Screws Up; Peter Turns the Screws; Peter is PW; Obscene Phone Caller; Shawn Goes Animal-House on Me During my Shower; Selective Mutism Strikes at a Zeta Party\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1992\/#an5\">Shawn Goes Animal-House on Me During my Shower<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"November 1992\u2013Pat Robertson Screws Up; Peter Turns the Screws; Peter is PW; Obscene Phone Caller; Shawn Goes Animal-House on Me During my Shower; Selective Mutism Strikes at a Zeta Party\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1992\/#an6\">Selective Mutism Strikes at a Zeta Party<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"December 1992\u2013InterVarsity Group is Organized; The Fire Burns Hotter; The Dreadful Night; Accidents Will Happen; Confronting Shawn\u2019s Psychological Abuse; A Proposed Cool-Off; Poems of Werewolves and Longing; Reading Clarissa, My Drawings of Her\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1992\/\">December 1992:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"December 1992\u2013InterVarsity Group is Organized; The Fire Burns Hotter; The Dreadful Night; Accidents Will Happen; Confronting Shawn\u2019s Psychological Abuse; A Proposed Cool-Off; Poems of Werewolves and Longing; Reading Clarissa, My Drawings of Her\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1992\/#an1\">InterVarsity Group is Organized<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"December 1992\u2013InterVarsity Group is Organized; The Fire Burns Hotter; The Dreadful Night; Accidents Will Happen; Confronting Shawn\u2019s Psychological Abuse; A Proposed Cool-Off; Poems of Werewolves and Longing; Reading Clarissa, My Drawings of Her\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1992\/#an2\">The Fire Burns Hotter; The Dreadful Night (Shawn Almost Goes Too Far)<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"December 1992\u2013InterVarsity Group is Organized; The Fire Burns Hotter; The Dreadful Night; Accidents Will Happen; Confronting Shawn\u2019s Psychological Abuse; A Proposed Cool-Off; Poems of Werewolves and Longing; Reading Clarissa, My Drawings of Her\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1992\/#an3\">Accidents Will Happen<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"December 1992\u2013InterVarsity Group is Organized; The Fire Burns Hotter; The Dreadful Night; Accidents Will Happen; Confronting Shawn\u2019s Psychological Abuse; A Proposed Cool-Off; Poems of Werewolves and Longing; Reading Clarissa, My Drawings of Her\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1992\/#an4\">Confronting Shawn&#8217;s Psychological Abuse<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"December 1992\u2013InterVarsity Group is Organized; The Fire Burns Hotter; The Dreadful Night; Accidents Will Happen; Confronting Shawn\u2019s Psychological Abuse; A Proposed Cool-Off; Poems of Werewolves and Longing; Reading Clarissa, My Drawings of Her\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1992\/#an5\">A Proposed Cool-Off<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"December 1992\u2013InterVarsity Group is Organized; The Fire Burns Hotter; The Dreadful Night; Accidents Will Happen; Confronting Shawn\u2019s Psychological Abuse; A Proposed Cool-Off; Poems of Werewolves and Longing; Reading Clarissa, My Drawings of Her\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1992\/#an6\">Poems of Werewolves and Longing<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"December 1992\u2013InterVarsity Group is Organized; The Fire Burns Hotter; The Dreadful Night; Accidents Will Happen; Confronting Shawn\u2019s Psychological Abuse; A Proposed Cool-Off; Poems of Werewolves and Longing; Reading Clarissa, My Drawings of Her\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1992\/#an7\">Reading Clarissa; My Drawings of Her <\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"January 1993\u2013Irish Writers Class and Insurance Mix-Ups; Psychological Hell as Shawn Turns Dark and Moody; Corruption in the Campus Administration; Pregnancy Scare\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/january-1993\/\">January 1993:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"January 1993\u2013Irish Writers Class and Insurance Mix-Ups; Psychological Hell as Shawn Turns Dark and Moody; Corruption in the Campus Administration; Pregnancy Scare\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/january-1993\/#an1\">Irish Writers Class<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"January 1993\u2013Irish Writers Class and Insurance Mix-Ups; Psychological Hell as Shawn Turns Dark and Moody; Corruption in the Campus Administration; Pregnancy Scare\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/january-1993\/#an2\">Psychological Hell as Shawn Turns Dark and Moody<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"January 1993\u2013Irish Writers Class and Insurance Mix-Ups; Psychological Hell as Shawn Turns Dark and Moody; Corruption in the Campus Administration; Pregnancy Scare\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/january-1993\/#an3\">Insurance Mix-Ups and Corruption in the Campus Administration<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"January 1993\u2013Irish Writers Class and Insurance Mix-Ups; Psychological Hell as Shawn Turns Dark and Moody; Corruption in the Campus Administration; Pregnancy Scare\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/january-1993\/#an4\">Pregnancy Scare<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"February 1993\u2013Spring Classes; Crush on a Teacher; Lit Teacher Becomes My Writing Mentor; \u201cUgh\u201d Poem; Sexual Relations with Shawn: The Downward Spiral to a Crash; Counseling\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1993\/\">February 1993:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"February 1993\u2013Spring Classes; Crush on a Teacher; Lit Teacher Becomes My Writing Mentor; \u201cUgh\u201d Poem; Sexual Relations with Shawn: The Downward Spiral to a Crash; Counseling\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1993\/#an1\">Spring Classes; Crush on a Teacher; Lit Teacher Becomes My Writing Mentor; &#8220;Ugh&#8221; Poem<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"February 1993\u2013Spring Classes; Crush on a Teacher; Lit Teacher Becomes My Writing Mentor; \u201cUgh\u201d Poem; Sexual Relations with Shawn: The Downward Spiral to a Crash; Counseling\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1993\/#an2\">Sexual Relations with Shawn: The Downward Spiral to a Crash<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"February 1993\u2013Spring Classes; Crush on a Teacher; Lit Teacher Becomes My Writing Mentor; \u201cUgh\u201d Poem; Sexual Relations with Shawn: The Downward Spiral to a Crash; Counseling\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1993\/#an3\">Counseling<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"March 1993\u2013School Scandal; Shawn Rips Me Apart; Spring Break; My Drawings of Ann Radcliffe Characters; I\u2019m Cold to Shawn and it Bugs Him; the Power Goes Out\u2013and the Water\u2013in an Ice Storm\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1993\/\">March 1993:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"March 1993\u2013School Scandal; Shawn Rips Me Apart; Spring Break; My Drawings of Ann Radcliffe Characters; I\u2019m Cold to Shawn and it Bugs Him; the Power Goes Out\u2013and the Water\u2013in an Ice Storm\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1993\/#an1\">School Scandal<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"March 1993\u2013School Scandal; Shawn Rips Me Apart; Spring Break; My Drawings of Ann Radcliffe Characters; I\u2019m Cold to Shawn and it Bugs Him; the Power Goes Out\u2013and the Water\u2013in an Ice Storm\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1993\/#an2\">Shawn Rips Me Apart for NVLD Traits<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"March 1993\u2013School Scandal; Shawn Rips Me Apart; Spring Break; My Drawings of Ann Radcliffe Characters; I\u2019m Cold to Shawn and it Bugs Him; the Power Goes Out\u2013and the Water\u2013in an Ice Storm\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1993\/#an3\">Spring Break; My Drawings of Ann Radcliffe Characters<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"March 1993\u2013School Scandal; Shawn Rips Me Apart; Spring Break; My Drawings of Ann Radcliffe Characters; I\u2019m Cold to Shawn and it Bugs Him; the Power Goes Out\u2013and the Water\u2013in an Ice Storm\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1993\/#an4\">I&#8217;m Cold to Shawn and it Bugs Him<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"March 1993\u2013School Scandal; Shawn Rips Me Apart; Spring Break; My Drawings of Ann Radcliffe Characters; I\u2019m Cold to Shawn and it Bugs Him; the Power Goes Out\u2013and the Water\u2013in an Ice Storm\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1993\/#an5\">The Power Goes Out&#8211;and the Water&#8211;in an Ice Storm<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"April 1993\u2013I Meet Rick, My Admirer From Afar; Ending Friends-with-Benefits for Good\u2013After One Last Time; Shawn Leaves: His Brother Turns Deathly Ill; My Humiliation as Rachel Exposes How the Sorority Abused Me\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1993\/\">April 1993:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"April 1993\u2013I Meet Rick, My Admirer From Afar; Ending Friends-with-Benefits for Good\u2013After One Last Time; Shawn Leaves: His Brother Turns Deathly Ill; My Humiliation as Rachel Exposes How the Sorority Abused Me\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1993\/#an1\">I Meet Rick, My Admirer From Afar<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"April 1993\u2013I Meet Rick, My Admirer From Afar; Ending Friends-with-Benefits for Good\u2013After One Last Time; Shawn Leaves: His Brother Turns Deathly Ill; My Humiliation as Rachel Exposes How the Sorority Abused Me\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1993\/#an2\">Ending Friends-with-Benefits for Good&#8211;After One Last Time<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"April 1993\u2013I Meet Rick, My Admirer From Afar; Ending Friends-with-Benefits for Good\u2013After One Last Time; Shawn Leaves: His Brother Turns Deathly Ill; My Humiliation as Rachel Exposes How the Sorority Abused Me\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1993\/#an3\">Shawn Leaves: His Brother Turns Deathly Ill<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"April 1993\u2013I Meet Rick, My Admirer From Afar; Ending Friends-with-Benefits for Good\u2013After One Last Time; Shawn Leaves: His Brother Turns Deathly Ill; My Humiliation as Rachel Exposes How the Sorority Abused Me\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1993\/#an4\">My Humiliation as Rachel Exposes How the Sorority Abused Me <\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"May 1993\u2013The Pump Blows Up; Shawn Breaks Our Friendship and Departs; Learning Spanish\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/may-1993\/\">May 1993:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"May 1993\u2013The Pump Blows Up; Shawn Breaks Our Friendship and Departs; Learning Spanish\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/may-1993\/#an1\">The Pump Blows Up<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"May 1993\u2013The Pump Blows Up; Shawn Breaks Our Friendship and Departs; Learning Spanish\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/may-1993\/#an2\">Shawn Breaks Our Friendship and Departs<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"May 1993\u2013The Pump Blows Up; Shawn Breaks Our Friendship and Departs; Learning Spanish\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/may-1993\/#an3\">Learning Spanish<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><b><span style=\"color: #008000;\">Junior Year<\/span>\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"Summer 1993\u2013Music, Storm and Prophetic Dreams\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/summer-1993\/\">Summer 1993: <\/a>Music, Storm and Prophetic Dreams<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"September 1993\u2013Classmate a stand-in for \u201cRudy,\u201d Jigging at College Dance, Library Tales, Happiness Returns, Living with Friends in Krueger, Funny Library Stories, Shawn Calls, Psycho Roommates and Bug Wars, Return of Rick, Adjusting to New Dorm, Spitball-Throwing Teacher; Rat-Obsessed Teacher and Doctor Zhivago; A Teacher Dated a Student; InterVarsity Fun; Charlie Peacock Concert; Random Stories\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1993\/\">September 1993:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"September 1993\u2013Classmate a stand-in for \u201cRudy,\u201d Jigging at College Dance, Library Tales, Happiness Returns, Living with Friends in Krueger, Funny Library Stories, Shawn Calls, Psycho Roommates and Bug Wars, Return of Rick, Adjusting to New Dorm, Spitball-Throwing Teacher; Rat-Obsessed Teacher and Doctor Zhivago; A Teacher Dated a Student; InterVarsity Fun; Charlie Peacock Concert; Random Stories\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1993\/#an1\">Classmate a stand-in for &#8220;Rudy&#8221;; Jigging at College Dance<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1993\u2013Classmate a stand-in for \u201cRudy,\u201d Jigging at College Dance, Library Tales, Happiness Returns, Living with Friends in Krueger, Funny Library Stories, Shawn Calls, Psycho Roommates and Bug Wars, Return of Rick, Adjusting to New Dorm, Spitball-Throwing Teacher; Rat-Obsessed Teacher and Doctor Zhivago; A Teacher Dated a Student; InterVarsity Fun; Charlie Peacock Concert; Random Stories\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1993\/#an2\">Library Tales<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1993\u2013Classmate a stand-in for \u201cRudy,\u201d Jigging at College Dance, Library Tales, Happiness Returns, Living with Friends in Krueger, Funny Library Stories, Shawn Calls, Psycho Roommates and Bug Wars, Return of Rick, Adjusting to New Dorm, Spitball-Throwing Teacher; Rat-Obsessed Teacher and Doctor Zhivago; A Teacher Dated a Student; InterVarsity Fun; Charlie Peacock Concert; Random Stories\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1993\/#an3\">Happiness Returns<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1993\u2013Classmate a stand-in for \u201cRudy,\u201d Jigging at College Dance, Library Tales, Happiness Returns, Living with Friends in Krueger, Funny Library Stories, Shawn Calls, Psycho Roommates and Bug Wars, Return of Rick, Adjusting to New Dorm, Spitball-Throwing Teacher; Rat-Obsessed Teacher and Doctor Zhivago; A Teacher Dated a Student; InterVarsity Fun; Charlie Peacock Concert; Random Stories\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1993\/#an4\"> Living with Friends in Krueger<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1993\u2013Classmate a stand-in for \u201cRudy,\u201d Jigging at College Dance, Library Tales, Happiness Returns, Living with Friends in Krueger, Funny Library Stories, Shawn Calls, Psycho Roommates and Bug Wars, Return of Rick, Adjusting to New Dorm, Spitball-Throwing Teacher; Rat-Obsessed Teacher and Doctor Zhivago; A Teacher Dated a Student; InterVarsity Fun; Charlie Peacock Concert; Random Stories\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1993\/#an5\">Funny Library Stories<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1993\u2013Classmate a stand-in for \u201cRudy,\u201d Jigging at College Dance, Library Tales, Happiness Returns, Living with Friends in Krueger, Funny Library Stories, Shawn Calls, Psycho Roommates and Bug Wars, Return of Rick, Adjusting to New Dorm, Spitball-Throwing Teacher; Rat-Obsessed Teacher and Doctor Zhivago; A Teacher Dated a Student; InterVarsity Fun; Charlie Peacock Concert; Random Stories\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1993\/#an6\">Shawn Calls<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1993\u2013Classmate a stand-in for \u201cRudy,\u201d Jigging at College Dance, Library Tales, Happiness Returns, Living with Friends in Krueger, Funny Library Stories, Shawn Calls, Psycho Roommates and Bug Wars, Return of Rick, Adjusting to New Dorm, Spitball-Throwing Teacher; Rat-Obsessed Teacher and Doctor Zhivago; A Teacher Dated a Student; InterVarsity Fun; Charlie Peacock Concert; Random Stories\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1993\/#an7\">Psycho Roommates and Bug Wars<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1993\u2013Classmate a stand-in for \u201cRudy,\u201d Jigging at College Dance, Library Tales, Happiness Returns, Living with Friends in Krueger, Funny Library Stories, Shawn Calls, Psycho Roommates and Bug Wars, Return of Rick, Adjusting to New Dorm, Spitball-Throwing Teacher; Rat-Obsessed Teacher and Doctor Zhivago; A Teacher Dated a Student; InterVarsity Fun; Charlie Peacock Concert; Random Stories\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1993\/#an8\">Return of Rick<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1993\u2013Classmate a stand-in for \u201cRudy,\u201d Jigging at College Dance, Library Tales, Happiness Returns, Living with Friends in Krueger, Funny Library Stories, Shawn Calls, Psycho Roommates and Bug Wars, Return of Rick, Adjusting to New Dorm, Spitball-Throwing Teacher; Rat-Obsessed Teacher and Doctor Zhivago; A Teacher Dated a Student; InterVarsity Fun; Charlie Peacock Concert; Random Stories\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1993\/#an9\">Adjusting to New Dorm<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1993\u2013Classmate a stand-in for \u201cRudy,\u201d Jigging at College Dance, Library Tales, Happiness Returns, Living with Friends in Krueger, Funny Library Stories, Shawn Calls, Psycho Roommates and Bug Wars, Return of Rick, Adjusting to New Dorm, Spitball-Throwing Teacher; Rat-Obsessed Teacher and Doctor Zhivago; A Teacher Dated a Student; InterVarsity Fun; Charlie Peacock Concert; Random Stories\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1993\/#an10\">Spitball-Throwing Teacher<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1993\u2013Classmate a stand-in for \u201cRudy,\u201d Jigging at College Dance, Library Tales, Happiness Returns, Living with Friends in Krueger, Funny Library Stories, Shawn Calls, Psycho Roommates and Bug Wars, Return of Rick, Adjusting to New Dorm, Spitball-Throwing Teacher; Rat-Obsessed Teacher and Doctor Zhivago; A Teacher Dated a Student; InterVarsity Fun; Charlie Peacock Concert; Random Stories\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1993\/#an11\">Rat-Obsessed Teacher and Doctor Zhivago<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1993\u2013Classmate a stand-in for \u201cRudy,\u201d Jigging at College Dance, Library Tales, Happiness Returns, Living with Friends in Krueger, Funny Library Stories, Shawn Calls, Psycho Roommates and Bug Wars, Return of Rick, Adjusting to New Dorm, Spitball-Throwing Teacher; Rat-Obsessed Teacher and Doctor Zhivago; A Teacher Dated a Student; InterVarsity Fun; Charlie Peacock Concert; Random Stories\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1993\/#an12\">A Teacher Dated a Student; InterVarsity Fun<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1993\u2013Classmate a stand-in for \u201cRudy,\u201d Jigging at College Dance, Library Tales, Happiness Returns, Living with Friends in Krueger, Funny Library Stories, Shawn Calls, Psycho Roommates and Bug Wars, Return of Rick, Adjusting to New Dorm, Spitball-Throwing Teacher; Rat-Obsessed Teacher and Doctor Zhivago; A Teacher Dated a Student; InterVarsity Fun; Charlie Peacock Concert; Random Stories\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1993\/#an13\">Charlie Peacock Concert<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1993\u2013Classmate a stand-in for \u201cRudy,\u201d Jigging at College Dance, Library Tales, Happiness Returns, Living with Friends in Krueger, Funny Library Stories, Shawn Calls, Psycho Roommates and Bug Wars, Return of Rick, Adjusting to New Dorm, Spitball-Throwing Teacher; Rat-Obsessed Teacher and Doctor Zhivago; A Teacher Dated a Student; InterVarsity Fun; Charlie Peacock Concert; Random Stories\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1993\/#an14\">Random Stories <\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p><strong><a title=\"October 1993: Letter to Shawn; Erotic Vampire Dream; I Ask Out James; Peter Calls!; The Fateful First Meeting of Phil; The Birth of Dolphin Philosophy; Our Group of Friends Splits Apart\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1993\/\">October 1993:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"October 1993: Letter to Shawn; Erotic Vampire Dream; I Ask Out James; Peter Calls!; The Fateful First Meeting of Phil; The Birth of Dolphin Philosophy; Our Group of Friends Splits Apart\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1993\/#an1\">Letter to Shawn<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1993: Letter to Shawn; Erotic Vampire Dream; I Ask Out James; Peter Calls!; The Fateful First Meeting of Phil; The Birth of Dolphin Philosophy; Our Group of Friends Splits Apart\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1993\/#an2\">Erotic Vampire Dream (Inspiration for Alexander Boa)<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1993: Letter to Shawn; Erotic Vampire Dream; I Ask Out James; Peter Calls!; The Fateful First Meeting of Phil; The Birth of Dolphin Philosophy; Our Group of Friends Splits Apart\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1993\/#an3\">I Ask Out James<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1993: Letter to Shawn; Erotic Vampire Dream; I Ask Out James; Peter Calls!; The Fateful First Meeting of Phil; The Birth of Dolphin Philosophy; Our Group of Friends Splits Apart\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1993\/#an4\">Peter Calls!<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1993: Letter to Shawn; Erotic Vampire Dream; I Ask Out James; Peter Calls!; The Fateful First Meeting of Phil; The Birth of Dolphin Philosophy; Our Group of Friends Splits Apart\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1993\/#an5\">The Fateful First Meeting of Phil<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1993: Letter to Shawn; Erotic Vampire Dream; I Ask Out James; Peter Calls!; The Fateful First Meeting of Phil; The Birth of Dolphin Philosophy; Our Group of Friends Splits Apart\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1993\/#an6\">The Birth of Dolphin Philosophy<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1993: Letter to Shawn; Erotic Vampire Dream; I Ask Out James; Peter Calls!; The Fateful First Meeting of Phil; The Birth of Dolphin Philosophy; Our Group of Friends Splits Apart\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1993\/#an7\">Our Group of Friends Splits Apart<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"November 1993\u2013Seeing Phil in a Play, Seance Makes Contact, Car Accident, New Dating Prospects: Phil and Mike\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1993\/\">November 1993:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"November 1993\u2013Seeing Phil in a Play, Seance Makes Contact, Car Accident, New Dating Prospects: Phil and Mike\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1993\/#an1\">College Fun<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"November 1993\u2013Seeing Phil in a Play, Seance Makes Contact, Car Accident, New Dating Prospects: Phil and Mike\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1993\/#an2\">Seeing Phil in a Play<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"November 1993\u2013Seeing Phil in a Play, Seance Makes Contact, Car Accident, New Dating Prospects: Phil and Mike\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1993\/#an3\">Seance Makes Contact<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"November 1993\u2013Seeing Phil in a Play, Seance Makes Contact, Car Accident, New Dating Prospects: Phil and Mike\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1993\/#an4\">Car Accident<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"November 1993\u2013Seeing Phil in a Play, Seance Makes Contact, Car Accident, New Dating Prospects: Phil and Mike\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1993\/#an5\">New Dating Prospects: Phil and Mike <\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"December 1993\u2013Praying for the Buildings; That Fateful First Date with Phil; Complication: A Rival; Call from Shawn!; Another Meeting with Peter\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1993\/\">December 1993:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"December 1993\u2013Praying for the Buildings; That Fateful First Date with Phil; Complication: A Rival; Call from Shawn!; Another Meeting with Peter\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1993\/#an1\">Praying for the Buildings<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"December 1993\u2013Praying for the Buildings; That Fateful First Date with Phil; Complication: A Rival; Call from Shawn!; Another Meeting with Peter\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1993\/#an2\">That Fateful First Date with Phil<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"December 1993\u2013Praying for the Buildings; That Fateful First Date with Phil; Complication: A Rival; Call from Shawn!; Another Meeting with Peter\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1993\/#an3\">Complication: A Rival<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"December 1993\u2013Praying for the Buildings; That Fateful First Date with Phil; Complication: A Rival; Call from Shawn!; Another Meeting with Peter\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1993\/#an4\">Call from Shawn!<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"December 1993\u2013Praying for the Buildings; That Fateful First Date with Phil; Complication: A Rival; Call from Shawn!; Another Meeting with Peter\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1993\/#an5\">Another Meeting with Peter<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"January 1994\u2013He Can\u2019t Decide Between the Girl he Wants and the Girl he Doesn\u2019t; Film Class; I Spend a Night with Phil\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/january-1994\/\">January 1994:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"January 1994\u2013He Can\u2019t Decide Between the Girl he Wants and the Girl he Doesn\u2019t; Film Class; I Spend a Night with Phil\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/january-1994\/#an1\">He Can&#8217;t Decide Between the Girl he Wants and the Girl he Doesn&#8217;t<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"January 1994\u2013He Can\u2019t Decide Between the Girl he Wants and the Girl he Doesn\u2019t; Film Class; I Spend a Night with Phil\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/january-1994\/#an2\">Film Class<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"January 1994\u2013He Can\u2019t Decide Between the Girl he Wants and the Girl he Doesn\u2019t; Film Class; I Spend a Night with Phil\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/january-1994\/#an3\">I Spend a Night with Phil <\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"February 1994\u2013Spring Classes, Big Red Flag: Phil\u2019s Dysfunctional Family Life, the Drunken Stork (Phil\u2019s Controlling Nature Manifests), Idealizing Phase and Early Sign of Control, Phil Tries to Control my Friendships, Unfair Accusations from his Dad and Brother, Phil Gaslights Me with Fake Dreams, Ridicule and Psychological Abuse, Another Pre-Engagement\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1994\/\">February 1994:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"February 1994\u2013Spring Classes, Big Red Flag: Phil\u2019s Dysfunctional Family Life, the Drunken Stork (Phil\u2019s Controlling Nature Manifests), Idealizing Phase and Early Sign of Control, Phil Tries to Control my Friendships, Unfair Accusations from his Dad and Brother, Phil Gaslights Me with Fake Dreams, Ridicule and Psychological Abuse, Another Pre-Engagement\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1994\/#an1\">Spring Classes<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"February 1994\u2013Spring Classes, Big Red Flag: Phil\u2019s Dysfunctional Family Life, the Drunken Stork (Phil\u2019s Controlling Nature Manifests), Idealizing Phase and Early Sign of Control, Phil Tries to Control my Friendships, Unfair Accusations from his Dad and Brother, Phil Gaslights Me with Fake Dreams, Ridicule and Psychological Abuse, Another Pre-Engagement\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1994\/#an2\">Big Red Flag: Phil&#8217;s Dysfunctional Family Life<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"February 1994\u2013Spring Classes, Big Red Flag: Phil\u2019s Dysfunctional Family Life, the Drunken Stork (Phil\u2019s Controlling Nature Manifests), Idealizing Phase and Early Sign of Control, Phil Tries to Control my Friendships, Unfair Accusations from his Dad and Brother, Phil Gaslights Me with Fake Dreams, Ridicule and Psychological Abuse, Another Pre-Engagement\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1994\/#an3\">The Drunken Stork (Phil&#8217;s Controlling Nature Manifests)<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"February 1994\u2013Spring Classes, Big Red Flag: Phil\u2019s Dysfunctional Family Life, the Drunken Stork (Phil\u2019s Controlling Nature Manifests), Idealizing Phase and Early Sign of Control, Phil Tries to Control my Friendships, Unfair Accusations from his Dad and Brother, Phil Gaslights Me with Fake Dreams, Ridicule and Psychological Abuse, Another Pre-Engagement\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1994\/#an4\">Idealizing Phase and Early Sign of Control<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"February 1994\u2013Spring Classes, Big Red Flag: Phil\u2019s Dysfunctional Family Life, the Drunken Stork (Phil\u2019s Controlling Nature Manifests), Idealizing Phase and Early Sign of Control, Phil Tries to Control my Friendships, Unfair Accusations from his Dad and Brother, Phil Gaslights Me with Fake Dreams, Ridicule and Psychological Abuse, Another Pre-Engagement\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1994\/#an5\">Phil Tries to Control my Friendships, Unfair Accusations from his Dad and Brother<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"February 1994\u2013Spring Classes, Big Red Flag: Phil\u2019s Dysfunctional Family Life, the Drunken Stork (Phil\u2019s Controlling Nature Manifests), Idealizing Phase and Early Sign of Control, Phil Tries to Control my Friendships, Unfair Accusations from his Dad and Brother, Phil Gaslights Me with Fake Dreams, Ridicule and Psychological Abuse, Another Pre-Engagement\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1994\/#an6\"> Phil Gaslights Me with Fake Dreams, Ridicule and Psychological Abuse<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"February 1994\u2013Spring Classes, Big Red Flag: Phil\u2019s Dysfunctional Family Life, the Drunken Stork (Phil\u2019s Controlling Nature Manifests), Idealizing Phase and Early Sign of Control, Phil Tries to Control my Friendships, Unfair Accusations from his Dad and Brother, Phil Gaslights Me with Fake Dreams, Ridicule and Psychological Abuse, Another Pre-Engagement\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1994\/#an7\">Another Pre-Engagement<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"March 1994\u2013Controversial Play (Uncommon Women) and Emotional Manipulation\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1994\/\">March 1994:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"March 1994\u2013Whiteheart Concert\u2013Phil Meets Shawn, Controversial Play (Uncommon Women) Tears the School Apart, Phil\u2019s Emotional Manipulation and Gaslighting Begins in Full Force, We make wedding plans, more of Phil\u2019s fake dreams\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1994\/#an1\">Whiteheart Concert&#8211;Phil Meets Shawn<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"March 1994\u2013Whiteheart Concert\u2013Phil Meets Shawn, Controversial Play (Uncommon Women) Tears the School Apart, Phil\u2019s Emotional Manipulation and Gaslighting Begins in Full Force, We make wedding plans, more of Phil\u2019s fake dreams\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1994\/#an2\">Controversial Play (Uncommon Women) Tears the School Apart<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"March 1994\u2013Whiteheart Concert\u2013Phil Meets Shawn, Controversial Play (Uncommon Women) Tears the School Apart, Phil\u2019s Emotional Manipulation and Gaslighting Begins in Full Force, We make wedding plans, more of Phil\u2019s fake dreams\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1994\/#an3\">Phil&#8217;s Emotional Manipulation and Gaslighting Begin in Full Force<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"March 1994\u2013Whiteheart Concert\u2013Phil Meets Shawn, Controversial Play (Uncommon Women) Tears the School Apart, Phil\u2019s Emotional Manipulation and Gaslighting Begins in Full Force, We make wedding plans, more of Phil\u2019s fake dreams\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1994\/#an4\">We make wedding plans; more of Phil&#8217;s fake dreams<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"April 1994\u2013Engagement &amp; a Huge Mistake: A Clandestine Marriage\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1994\/\">April 1994:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"April 1994\u2013Phil and I get engaged\u2013after two months; Phil tries to guilt me into changing religion; Phil tries to force me to obey him; Castles in the air\u2013including plans to live on a desert island; A Secret Marriage; Hemorrhage and excruciating pain\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1994\/#an1\">Phil and I get engaged&#8211;after two months<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"April 1994\u2013Phil and I get engaged\u2013after two months; Phil tries to guilt me into changing religion; Phil tries to force me to obey him; Castles in the air\u2013including plans to live on a desert island; A Secret Marriage; Hemorrhage and excruciating pain\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1994\/#an2\">Phil tries to guilt me into changing religion<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"April 1994\u2013Phil and I get engaged\u2013after two months; Phil tries to guilt me into changing religion; Phil tries to force me to obey him; Castles in the air\u2013including plans to live on a desert island; A Secret Marriage; Hemorrhage and excruciating pain\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1994\/#an3\">Phil tries to force me to obey him<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"April 1994\u2013Phil and I get engaged\u2013after two months; Phil tries to guilt me into changing religion; Phil tries to force me to obey him; Castles in the air\u2013including plans to live on a desert island; A Secret Marriage; Hemorrhage and excruciating pain\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1994\/#an4\">Castles in the air&#8211;including plans to live on a desert island<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"April 1994\u2013Phil and I get engaged\u2013after two months; Phil tries to guilt me into changing religion; Phil tries to force me to obey him; Castles in the air\u2013including plans to live on a desert island; A Secret Marriage; Hemorrhage and excruciating pain\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1994\/#an5\">A Secret Marriage<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"April 1994\u2013Phil and I get engaged\u2013after two months; Phil tries to guilt me into changing religion; Phil tries to force me to obey him; Castles in the air\u2013including plans to live on a desert island; A Secret Marriage; Hemorrhage and excruciating pain\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1994\/#an6\">Hemorrhage and excruciating pain after first time<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<p><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"May 1994\u2013Phil\u2019s Nervous Breakdown &amp; Our Flight\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/may-1994\/\">May 1994:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"May 1994\u2013Phil\u2019s Nervous Breakdown; Our Flight: forced into deception\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/may-1994\/#an1\">Phil&#8217;s Nervous Breakdown<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"May 1994\u2013Phil\u2019s Nervous Breakdown; Our Flight: forced into deception\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/may-1994\/#an2\">Our Flight: forced into deception<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/may-1994\/#an3\">Summer Shockers<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"s0\"><b><span style=\"color: #008000;\">Senior Year<\/span>\u00a0<\/b><\/div>\n<div class=\"s0\"><\/div>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"June 1994\u2013Bits of Abuse Here and There\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/june-1994\/\">June 1994&#8211;<\/a>Bits of Abuse Here and There:<\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"June 1994\u2013Bits of Abuse Here and There; Losing my wisdom teeth; Phil\u2019s crappy jobs cause depression; Phil\u2019s fake dreams lead to a terrible fight; Using Natural Family Planning; Phil cuts down whatever is special to me; Phil\u2019s Mr. Hyde comes out: controlling, manipulative, verbally and emotionally abusive\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/june-1994\/#an1\">Losing my wisdom teeth<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"June 1994\u2013Bits of Abuse Here and There; Losing my wisdom teeth; Phil\u2019s crappy jobs cause depression; Phil\u2019s fake dreams lead to a terrible fight; Using Natural Family Planning; Phil cuts down whatever is special to me; Phil\u2019s Mr. Hyde comes out: controlling, manipulative, verbally and emotionally abusive\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/june-1994\/#an2\">Phil&#8217;s crappy jobs cause depression<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"June 1994\u2013Bits of Abuse Here and There; Losing my wisdom teeth; Phil\u2019s crappy jobs cause depression; Phil\u2019s fake dreams lead to a terrible fight; Using Natural Family Planning; Phil cuts down whatever is special to me; Phil\u2019s Mr. Hyde comes out: controlling, manipulative, verbally and emotionally abusive\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/june-1994\/#an3\">Phil&#8217;s fake dreams lead to a terrible fight<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"June 1994\u2013Bits of Abuse Here and There; Losing my wisdom teeth; Phil\u2019s crappy jobs cause depression; Phil\u2019s fake dreams lead to a terrible fight; Using Natural Family Planning; Phil cuts down whatever is special to me; Phil\u2019s Mr. Hyde comes out: controlling, manipulative, verbally and emotionally abusive\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/june-1994\/#an4\">Using Natural Family Planning<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"June 1994\u2013Bits of Abuse Here and There; Losing my wisdom teeth; Phil\u2019s crappy jobs cause depression; Phil\u2019s fake dreams lead to a terrible fight; Using Natural Family Planning; Phil cuts down whatever is special to me; Phil\u2019s Mr. Hyde comes out: controlling, manipulative, verbally and emotionally abusive\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/june-1994\/#an5\">Phil cuts down whatever is special to me<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"June 1994\u2013Bits of Abuse Here and There; Losing my wisdom teeth; Phil\u2019s crappy jobs cause depression; Phil\u2019s fake dreams lead to a terrible fight; Using Natural Family Planning; Phil cuts down whatever is special to me; Phil\u2019s Mr. Hyde comes out: controlling, manipulative, verbally and emotionally abusive\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/june-1994\/#an6\"> Phil&#8217;s Mr. Hyde comes out: controlling, manipulative, verbally and emotionally abusive<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"July and August 1994\u2013The Abuse Worsens in the Summer of Hell\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/july-and-august-1994\/\">July &amp;\u00a0August 1994:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"July and August 1994\u2013The Abuse Worsens in the Summer of Hell; Phil sexually assaults me anally; Phil tries to control me through refusing everything I want\u2013even proper hygiene; Phil\u2019s cruel hoax on me: his \u201csubconscious\u201d coming out to be with me; Phil\u2019s \u201csubconscious\u201d explains why he\u2019s coming out to talk to me; The lies unravel as Phil admits to conning me; also, fright as my periods turn wacky; How Phil\u2019s behavior fit the signs of abuse; Phil Mindscrews Me: changes history, blames me for things that were not my fault, treats me like an idiot during games; Phil says if he abuses me, it takes two people to sign the divorce papers\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/july-and-august-1994\/#an1\">The Abuse Worsens in the Summer of Hell<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"July and August 1994\u2013The Abuse Worsens in the Summer of Hell; Phil sexually assaults me anally; Phil tries to control me through refusing everything I want\u2013even proper hygiene; Phil\u2019s cruel hoax on me: his \u201csubconscious\u201d coming out to be with me; Phil\u2019s \u201csubconscious\u201d explains why he\u2019s coming out to talk to me; The lies unravel as Phil admits to conning me; also, fright as my periods turn wacky; How Phil\u2019s behavior fit the signs of abuse; Phil Mindscrews Me: changes history, blames me for things that were not my fault, treats me like an idiot during games; Phil says if he abuses me, it takes two people to sign the divorce papers\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/july-and-august-1994\/#an2\">Phil rapes me anally<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"July and August 1994\u2013The Abuse Worsens in the Summer of Hell; Phil sexually assaults me anally; Phil tries to control me through refusing everything I want\u2013even proper hygiene; Phil\u2019s cruel hoax on me: his \u201csubconscious\u201d coming out to be with me; Phil\u2019s \u201csubconscious\u201d explains why he\u2019s coming out to talk to me; The lies unravel as Phil admits to conning me; also, fright as my periods turn wacky; How Phil\u2019s behavior fit the signs of abuse; Phil Mindscrews Me: changes history, blames me for things that were not my fault, treats me like an idiot during games; Phil says if he abuses me, it takes two people to sign the divorce papers\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/july-and-august-1994\/#an3\">Phil tries to control me through refusing everything I want&#8211;even proper hygiene<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"July and August 1994\u2013The Abuse Worsens in the Summer of Hell; Phil sexually assaults me anally; Phil tries to control me through refusing everything I want\u2013even proper hygiene; Phil\u2019s cruel hoax on me: his \u201csubconscious\u201d coming out to be with me; Phil\u2019s \u201csubconscious\u201d explains why he\u2019s coming out to talk to me; The lies unravel as Phil admits to conning me; also, fright as my periods turn wacky; How Phil\u2019s behavior fit the signs of abuse; Phil Mindscrews Me: changes history, blames me for things that were not my fault, treats me like an idiot during games; Phil says if he abuses me, it takes two people to sign the divorce papers\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/july-and-august-1994\/#an4\">Phil&#8217;s cruel hoax on me: his &#8220;subconscious&#8221; coming out to be with me<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"July and August 1994\u2013The Abuse Worsens in the Summer of Hell; Phil sexually assaults me anally; Phil tries to control me through refusing everything I want\u2013even proper hygiene; Phil\u2019s cruel hoax on me: his \u201csubconscious\u201d coming out to be with me; Phil\u2019s \u201csubconscious\u201d explains why he\u2019s coming out to talk to me; The lies unravel as Phil admits to conning me; also, fright as my periods turn wacky; How Phil\u2019s behavior fit the signs of abuse; Phil Mindscrews Me: changes history, blames me for things that were not my fault, treats me like an idiot during games; Phil says if he abuses me, it takes two people to sign the divorce papers\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/july-and-august-1994\/#an5\">Phil&#8217;s &#8220;subconscious&#8221; explains why he&#8217;s coming out to talk to me<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"July and August 1994\u2013The Abuse Worsens in the Summer of Hell; Phil sexually assaults me anally; Phil tries to control me through refusing everything I want\u2013even proper hygiene; Phil\u2019s cruel hoax on me: his \u201csubconscious\u201d coming out to be with me; Phil\u2019s \u201csubconscious\u201d explains why he\u2019s coming out to talk to me; The lies unravel as Phil admits to conning me; also, fright as my periods turn wacky; How Phil\u2019s behavior fit the signs of abuse; Phil Mindscrews Me: changes history, blames me for things that were not my fault, treats me like an idiot during games; Phil says if he abuses me, it takes two people to sign the divorce papers\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/july-and-august-1994\/#an6\">The lies unravel as Phil admits to conning me; also, fright as my periods turn wacky<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"July and August 1994\u2013The Abuse Worsens in the Summer of Hell; Phil sexually assaults me anally; Phil tries to control me through refusing everything I want\u2013even proper hygiene; Phil\u2019s cruel hoax on me: his \u201csubconscious\u201d coming out to be with me; Phil\u2019s \u201csubconscious\u201d explains why he\u2019s coming out to talk to me; The lies unravel as Phil admits to conning me; also, fright as my periods turn wacky; How Phil\u2019s behavior fit the signs of abuse; Phil Mindscrews Me: changes history, blames me for things that were not my fault, treats me like an idiot during games; Phil says if he abuses me, it takes two people to sign the divorce papers\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/july-and-august-1994\/#an7\">How Phil&#8217;s behavior fit the signs of abuse<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"July and August 1994\u2013The Abuse Worsens in the Summer of Hell; Phil sexually assaults me anally; Phil tries to control me through refusing everything I want\u2013even proper hygiene; Phil\u2019s cruel hoax on me: his \u201csubconscious\u201d coming out to be with me; Phil\u2019s \u201csubconscious\u201d explains why he\u2019s coming out to talk to me; The lies unravel as Phil admits to conning me; also, fright as my periods turn wacky; How Phil\u2019s behavior fit the signs of abuse; Phil Mindscrews Me: changes history, blames me for things that were not my fault, treats me like an idiot during games; Phil says if he abuses me, it takes two people to sign the divorce papers\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/july-and-august-1994\/#an8\">Phil Mindscrews Me: changes history, blames me for things that were not my fault, treats me like an idiot during games<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"July and August 1994\u2013The Abuse Worsens in the Summer of Hell; Phil sexually assaults me anally; Phil tries to control me through refusing everything I want\u2013even proper hygiene; Phil\u2019s cruel hoax on me: his \u201csubconscious\u201d coming out to be with me; Phil\u2019s \u201csubconscious\u201d explains why he\u2019s coming out to talk to me; The lies unravel as Phil admits to conning me; also, fright as my periods turn wacky; How Phil\u2019s behavior fit the signs of abuse; Phil Mindscrews Me: changes history, blames me for things that were not my fault, treats me like an idiot during games; Phil says if he abuses me, it takes two people to sign the divorce papers\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/july-and-august-1994\/#an9\">Phil says if he abuses me, it takes two people to sign the divorce papers<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"July and August 1994\u2013The Abuse Worsens in the Summer of Hell\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/july-and-august-1994\/#an10\">Pearl reveals that Phil is costing me social invitations<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"July and August 1994\u2013The Abuse Worsens in the Summer of Hell\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/july-and-august-1994\/#an11\">Hints that Phil is checking out of the marriage<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<p><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"September 1994\u2013Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1994\/\">September 1994<\/a>&#8211;Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"September 1994\u2013Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1994\/#an1\">Phil picks fights and avoids responsibilities to make me feel like a shrew<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1994\u2013Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1994\/#an2\">My husband Phil, Dave and Pearl call me a party pooper for getting a Grade II concussion<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1994\u2013Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1994\/#an3\">I&#8217;m ecstatic to be back with my friends (the ones Phil hates); I meet Charles<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1994\u2013Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1994\/#an4\">Phil vanishes without a word of why<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1994\u2013Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1994\/#an5\">Phil wants a divorce<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1994\u2013Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1994\/#an6\">My friends tells me that Phil is controlling and possessive<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1994\u2013Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1994\/#an7\">My first Pentecostal church service: They speak in tongues<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1994\u2013Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1994\/#an8\">Phil refuses to accept responsibility for the divorce<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1994\u2013Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1994\/#an9\">Phil cuts off contact<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1994\u2013Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1994\/#an10\">Attack of Phil&#8217;s Flying Monkey and Sycophant: Dirk<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1994\u2013Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1994\/#an11\">Phil the narcissist admits to manipulating people and using them as pawns in his game with me<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1994\u2013Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1994\/#an12\">Phil comes crawling back to me&#8211;and we put our marriage on paper<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1994\u2013Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1994\/#an13\">Phil demands my complete submission and forces me into oral sex&#8211;and my will is broken, for fear he&#8217;ll divorce me again<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1994\u2013Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1994\/#an14\">Phil walks away from me again&#8211;because I dare to have my own mind, opinions and needs&#8211;and because he&#8217;s a sociopath<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"September 1994\u2013Divorce: The Long, Dark, Painful Tunnel\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/september-1994\/#an15\">Fierce anger against Phil and PTSD from the abuse<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<p><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"October 1994\u2013New Friends, New Guy, and Pearl\u2019s Illness\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1994\/\">October 1994:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"October 1994\u2013New Friends, New Guy, and Pearl\u2019s Illness\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1994\/#an1\">My friends tell me Phil is psychotic<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1994\u2013New Friends, New Guy, and Pearl\u2019s Illness\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1994\/#an2\">&#8220;Soul Ties&#8221;<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1994\u2013New Friends, New Guy, and Pearl\u2019s Illness\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1994\/#an3\">I return Phil&#8217;s things and he skewers me; consolation from friends<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1994\u2013New Friends, New Guy, and Pearl\u2019s Illness\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1994\/#an4\">My letter to Phil<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1994\u2013New Friends, New Guy, and Pearl\u2019s Illness\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1994\/#an5\">Phil shows my letter to his friends; I&#8217;m triggered by reminder of forced oral sex <\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1994\u2013New Friends, New Guy, and Pearl\u2019s Illness\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1994\/#an6\">I start dating Charles<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1994\u2013New Friends, New Guy, and Pearl\u2019s Illness\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1994\/#an7\">Friends tell me Phil is controlling<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1994\u2013New Friends, New Guy, and Pearl\u2019s Illness\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1994\/#an8\">I feel stalked by Phil<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1994\u2013New Friends, New Guy, and Pearl\u2019s Illness\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1994\/#an9\">Poem about being stalked by Phil<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"October 1994\u2013New Friends, New Guy, and Pearl\u2019s Illness\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/october-1994\/#an10\">Fury at Phil stalking me and rubbing my face in his new relationship<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<p><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"November 1994\u2013Confronting Phil\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1994\/\">November 1994:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"November 1994\u2013Confronting Phil\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1994\/#an1\">Struggling to move on despite the pain<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"November 1994\u2013Confronting Phil\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1994\/#an2\">I confront Phil about his abuse<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"November 1994\u2013Confronting Phil\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1994\/#an3\">Breaking up with Charles<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"November 1994\u2013Confronting Phil\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1994\/#an4\">New definitions: Did Phil rape me?<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"November 1994\u2013Confronting Phil\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1994\/#an5\">Persephone confronts me about the letter<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"November 1994\u2013Confronting Phil\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/november-1994\/#an6\">Pregnancy Scare&#8211;for real this time<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"s0\">\n<p><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"December 1994\u2013Moving On and Meeting the Vampire\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1994\/\">December 1994:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"December 1994\u2013Moving On and Meeting the Vampire\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1994\/#an1\">Moving On<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"December 1994\u2013Moving On and Meeting the Vampire\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1994\/#an2\">Phil Spreads Lies About Me<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"December 1994\u2013Moving On and Meeting the Vampire\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1994\/#an3\">What College Kids Do With Snow<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"December 1994\u2013Moving On and Meeting the Vampire\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/december-1994\/#an4\">Meeting the Vampire<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"January 1995\u2013Celtic Roots Class, SCA &amp; Hooking up to the Internet\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/january-1995\/\">January 1995:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"January 1995\u2013Celtic Roots Class, SCA &amp; Hooking up to the Internet\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/january-1995\/#an1\">A Date with the Vampire<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"January 1995\u2013Celtic Roots Class, SCA &amp; Hooking up to the Internet\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/january-1995\/#an2\">Celtic Class: Knotwork, Tin Whistles, SCA&#8211;and Drinking from a Skull<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"January 1995\u2013Celtic Roots Class, SCA &amp; Hooking up to the Internet\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/january-1995\/#an3\">The Teddy-O Incident; Birth of These Memoirs<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"January 1995\u2013Celtic Roots Class, SCA &amp; Hooking up to the Internet\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/january-1995\/#an4\">We Hook Up to the Internet&#8211;and Shawn Fixates on My Sex Life<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"January 1995\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/january-1995\/#an5\">New Guy Begging at My Feet<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"February 1995\u2013Life on TCB, New Men, and Meeting Cugan\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1995\/\">February 1995:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"February 1995\u2013Life on TCB, New Men, and Meeting Cugan\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1995\/#an1\">Life on TCB<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"February 1995\u2013Life on TCB, New Men, and Meeting Cugan\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1995\/#an2\">Meeting Cugan<\/a> (Hubby)<\/li>\n<li><a title=\"February 1995\u2013Life on TCB, New Men, and Meeting Cugan\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1995\/#an3\">Learning my ex Peter was a love-fraud; New Men<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"February 1995\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1995\/#an4\">Before Tracy, There Was the Avenger (Sociopathic Female Bullies Pt 1)<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"February 1995\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1995\/#an5\">Torn between three men as Catherine pushes me toward Cugan<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"February 1995\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1995\/#an6\">The Love Rectangle<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"February 1995\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1995\/#an7\">Torn between FIVE men!\u00a0 Me?<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"February 1995\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1995\/#an8\">Persephone&#8217;s Own Outrageous Stories of Phil&#8217;s Abuse<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"February 1995\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/february-1995\/#an9\">College-style living<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"March 1995\u2013Phil Finds TCB; Gypsy\u2019s Party; Before I Met Tracy, There Was the Avenger; TCB Flame Wars; First SCA Event\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1995\/\">March 1995:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a title=\"March 1995\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1995\/#an1\">Online Shenanigans<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"March 1995\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1995\/#an2\">Phil Finds TCB; Meeting a Hit Man<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"March 1995\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1995\/#an3\">Gypsy&#8217;s Party: Healed friendship with Peter<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"March 1995\u2013Phil Finds TCB; Gypsy\u2019s Party; Sociopathic Female Bullies Pt 2: The Avenger Starts a Flame War; First SCA Event\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1995\/#an4\">The Avenger Starts a Flame War (Sociopathic Female Bullies Pt 2)<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"March 1995\u2013Phil Finds TCB; Gypsy\u2019s Party; Sociopathic Female Bullies Pt 2: The Avenger Starts a Flame War; First SCA Event\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1995\/#an5\">Meeting the elusive Speaker<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"March 1995\u2013Phil Finds TCB; Gypsy\u2019s Party; Sociopathic Female Bullies Pt 2: The Avenger Starts a Flame War; First SCA Event\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1995\/#an6\">First Date with Future Hubby Cugan<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"March 1995\u2013Phil Finds TCB; Gypsy\u2019s Party; Sociopathic Female Bullies Pt 2: The Avenger Starts a Flame War; First SCA Event\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1995\/#an7\">On Breaking Up with Kindness<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"March 1995\u2013Phil Finds TCB; Gypsy\u2019s Party; Sociopathic Female Bullies Pt 2: The Avenger Starts a Flame War; First SCA Event\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1995\/#an8\">Loony Roommies and Flying Gargoyles<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"March 1995\u2013Phil Finds TCB; Gypsy\u2019s Party; Sociopathic Female Bullies Pt 2: The Avenger Starts a Flame War; First SCA Event\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1995\/#an9\">The Goddess of Pleasure and Salt<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"March 1995\u2013Phil Finds TCB; Gypsy\u2019s Party; Sociopathic Female Bullies Pt 2: The Avenger Starts a Flame War; First SCA Event\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1995\/#an10\">A Conversation with Oscar Wilde<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a title=\"March 1995\u2013Phil Finds TCB; Gypsy\u2019s Party; Sociopathic Female Bullies Pt 2: The Avenger Starts a Flame War; First SCA Event\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1995\/#an11\">My First SCA Event<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1995\/#an12\">Cugan: a vast improvement over Phil<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"April 1995\u2013Easter Trip; Breakup with Cugan\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1995\/\">April 1995:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1995\/#an1\">Easter with Cugan&#8217;s family and SCA<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1995\/#an2\">Cugan breaks up with me<\/a><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #333333;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1995\/#an3\">After breakup: Phil&#8217;s return and trolls<\/a><strong><br \/>\n<\/strong><\/span><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1995\/#an4\">Cugan comes back<\/a><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #333333;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1995\/#an5\">SCA hippies; college senioritis: anxiety!<\/a><strong><br \/>\n<\/strong><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #333333;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/april-1995\/#an6\">Or should I move back in with my parents?<\/a><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"s0\"><strong><a class=\"s0\" title=\"May 1995\u2013Graduation\" href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/may-1995-graduation\/\">May 1995:<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/may-1995-graduation\/#an1\">Peace with Phil<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/may-1995-graduation\/#an2\">Defending my Thesis; Graduating with Honors<\/a><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #333333;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/may-1995-graduation\/#an3\">Graduation: Trapped at school<\/a><strong><br \/>\n<\/strong><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #333333;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/may-1995-graduation\/#an4\">Epilogue and Apology from Phil<\/a><strong><br \/>\n<\/strong><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<!-- PMB print buttons is only displayed on a single post\/page URLs-->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>School Scandal Shawn Rips Me Apart for NVLD Traits Spring Break; My Drawings of Ann Radcliffe Characters I&#8217;m Cold to Shawn and it Bugs Him The Power Goes Out&#8211;and the Water&#8211;in an Ice Storm School Scandal On the 1st, I noted in my diary the one-year anniversary of the physical relationship with Shawn, since it started on Leap Day, 1992. **** Crystal Pepsi came out around this time, and I tried it. \u00a0I believe it was much like Pepsi&#8211;but I didn&#8217;t like Pepsi. \u00a0I drank it just to find out if it truly tasted the same, despite being clear. \u00a0It&hellip;<\/p>\n<p><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/nyssashobbithole.com\/main\/index\/life-roanoke-college-memoirs-september-1991-may-1995\/march-1993\/\">Continue Reading<\/a><\/p>\n<div class='heateor_sss_sharing_container 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