by Katherine Kelaidis Thus, Orthodox Christians have a moral responsibility to examine the ways in which we individually and corporately contribute to violent homophobia, in Russia and beyond. And the simplest first step in this area is to condemn homophobic violence, whenever it occurs, but especially when it occurs in the name of our faith. It is the type of responsibility we demand from others, and it is (no doubt) the responsibility we should demand from ourselves.…
Our little kitty duo of Merry and Pippin is now no more. Merry passed almost three years ago of cancer; now Pippin’s health finally gave out, at the ripe old age of 14. It’s so lonely in the house with them both gone. 🙁 No more Pippin begging for belly rubs and a lap.
(Pippin is on the left, Merry on the right.)
No Contact has grown centipede feet since its inception, running away from its original intention protecting victims. This is a predictable scenario since narcissists identify as victims. Perpetually. They may stalk, cheat, plagiarize, abuse and betray people, yet consider themselves to be victims, their victimizing behaviors justified. Perpetually. Well, what can you expect from a disorder preventing accurate self-appraisal, inhibiting the capacity for self-reflection? If someone is unable to introspect and own their aggression, they will view people’s defensive reactions as unpredictable and threatening. From the narcissist’s point of view, people are attacking without any provocation on the narcissist’s part. They believe they are defending themselves from aggression. Since pathological narcissism is defined by distorted perceptions, what narcissists see is not what is. Their provoking behavior is outside their awareness. This does not mean they aren’t consciously aware of their aggressive tactics. They believe their aggressive tactics are warranted.
…Being told a friend, family member or partner is using No Contact to protect themselves from YOU is confounding. Reality is turned upside-down when the narcissist refuses your phone calls, deletes your emails, bans you from their Facebook page. Through the grapevine, you’re told the narcissist avoids office luncheons because you’re there. She can’t be the bridesmaid if you’re the best man. He can’t go to the neighborhood picnic since you volunteered to flip the burgers. Your entire social circle from Earth to Jupiter has been informed of this tragic predicament and people wonder how YOU managed to make someone’s life so miserable they had to use No Contact (or take out a restraining order). You didn’t seem to be a dangerous person but who in the blue hell knows who anybody really is behind closed doors? You have now, my friend, entered the surrealistic world of DARVO: Defend, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. DARVO is the terrain of the narcissistic personality which means the No Contact plan has switched from self-protection to the intention to harm.
The latest in the MP3 list:
(Enjoy, my readers–and especially you, Richard, the only one I know in real life who listens to this kind of music, since I know you’re still lurking):
“Phenom” by Iris:
“Elusive (Random Starlight Mix)” by Substaat:
“Free” by Mondträume (especially loving that German accent):
“We Move as One” by A Pale Moon:
“The Time Traveller” by same artist, suitable for the novel I’m working on:
“The Farthest Star” by VNV Nation:
I was there at his bedside. I barely made it in time because the third form of cancer took him so fast, while the other two were in remission/dormant.
A guy in my old youth group also died around the same day. He wasn’t even old. Different cause, but still, dang.
To my dad: