[This is one of my most popular posts.]
The trouble with dealing with narcissists is that they can still manipulate you as long as you are still emotionally connected to them. It is necessary to break free of that power they have over you, so they can no longer touch you, no matter what they do. My purpose now is to break that power.
Tracy and, possibly, Richard, who seems to have been recruited to this as well (along with one friend who was also recruited but is blocked from my Facebook now), have been playing games with my head for the past several weeks, but in such a subtle way as to make me look like the crazy one.
First, after reading all my blogs in (from what they said to me) narcissistic glee, they sent me a nasty e-mail that twisted the truth, denied their abuses and bullying, tried to turn everything around on me, and laughed at me for being upset about the things they did; they threatened to sue me if I went to my priest for help.
They know I don’t want them on this blog anymore since their purpose is malicious, so they found a way around my blocks and have been checking it constantly. They know I don’t want to see them, so they’ve been putting themselves right where I can see them.
The purpose is to screw with my mind and take me down. If everyone thinks I’m crazy, then I’m the one discredited, and they get away with what they did. It is one massive mind screw.
So I have two choices: give in to the mind screw and let them take me down, or fight back by removing the power from them to do this.
Tracy has always been very competitive, playing her games–whether Risk, or online games, or the game she’s playing in your head–to win. It’s not about you at all. She has identified and is exploiting my vulnerabilities, which is what you do in war.
She obviously sees me as a threat, or else why would she do all this? If you really think I’m so “not all there,” then just laugh and ignore my lunatic ravings.
My priest has told me not to check my blog stats for a while, even though it does serve a legitimate purpose of seeing if anyone (besides various bots, which are peskily numerous) is actually reading what I post, and even though bloggers typically want to know who’s reading. But the purpose of fasting from the stats is to make Richard and Tracy vanish.
The narcissist central focus is control. The narcissist is interested in controlling emotions and fostering a sense of attachment to his victims even when he is no longer physically a part of their lives.
Mind games are essentially utilized to torture the victim and to take over the mental processes of the victim. This negation of thoughts and cogitation is fostered by keeping the victim attached to the narcissistic ex partner through inferences, drafting and keeping the victim connected to the situation that she desperately needs to overcome….
Do not allow the narcissist to exploit you and play games with your mind. Do not permit someone to have dominion over your thoughts and your private moments.
They are yours; seize them now before it is too late. Get your control back but before you lose not just only a love interest but your sanity, pride and maybe your life. –Crystal Evans, Why the Narcissist Loves Mind Games
You have the option of knowing what he is up to and therefore not allowing yourself to be taken in by his games. The narcissist will prey on you only as long as you let him. —Tigress Luv, Narcissistic Mind Games
I know that, in my own experience, getting in touch with my feelings was the turning point. I started to explore my feelings, asking myself just exactly how this stuff was making me feel. I mean that I dug deep until I could put my finger on exactly HOW a thing made me feel.
Did it make me feel violated in some way? Did it make me feel like two cents waiting for change? And so on.
And then I zeroed in on why what the narc did made me feel that way. Guess what? I discovered that all my feelings were perfectly natural and that I was just being normal and human for feeling that way.
I also saw that the narcissist was deliberately working to make me feel that way. Needless to say, that changed everything. I was no longer easy prey. –Kathy Krajco, Examples of Narcissistic Behavior